Funny Rendition Of A Colonoscopy

[irish daveyboy]

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon,

a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn

[MyMississippi]

This was soooooooo funny ! ! ! !

Thanks for posting !

[missy'smom]

Those gowns, paper or cloth, DO make you feel more naked than if you were really naked! I feel so vulnerable. I've been more comfortable in a public bath house in a foreign country where I was the only caucasian than in one of those! I should have known that it would be Dave Barry writing that. He's funny.

[ohsotired]

Oh how timely. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for the 28th of this month (never had one before).

I was already freaked out about it........and now............

I did actually laugh out loud while reading this though. Glad there's a humorous side to it.

[ShayFL]

That was a riot. You might as well laugh at these types of things......it beats crying.

[jerseyangel]

"your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food

that you have not even eaten yet."

Oh yeah! That was hilarious! Yep--we may as well laugh.....

[Katsby]

lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever

[jerseyangel]

  Katsby said:

The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever

Mine was orange flavored and it was a while before I could look an orange in the eye again

[JNBunnie1]

  Katsby said:

lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever

I got pills. I'm in Ct though, maybe they have different stuff up here. And my lovely, silly mother decided that she had been constipated for too long and took a laxative the same day I was doing my prep for the colonoscopy. Nice job, Ma. We were both dancing around the bathroom holding our butts half the day.

And I REMEMBER my procedure. I guess the amnesiac effect the drugs are supposed to have didn't work on me. The nurses were laughing at me cuz I was so stoned though. Man, they inject that stuff in the Iv and three seconds later WHooooo!!!!! I didn't care what they were doing to me really, I was having a blast. Except for when you have to swallow that tube, no fun. I do remember watching them take biospies of my insides on that screen. That was interesting.

[Live2BWell]

Omg, LOL - that was great

I had a colonoscopy on Tuesday, so that definitely gave me a good laugh. Unfortunately I had to do a few enema's(and didn't get to drink anything, which I would have rathered!) and they didn't give me enough of the verced (the twilight anesthesia) because I rememberparts of the procedure (soooo UNcool) but they did hook me up with a good cocktail, so I was feeling pretty good

p.s. JNBunnie1, I hear you about watching it on the screen, that part was kind of cool

[larry mac]

Sorry about posting to an old post from a link in a new post. But that was really funny. I miss Dave Barry. He was genius. Thanks Irish Dave.

best regards, lm

[jerseyangel]

I always enjoyed Dave Barry, too

Amid the laughter, I will always be grateful because a colonoscopy literally saved my dad's life 35 years ago

[Tim-n-VA]

Just to clarify for anyone who might misunderstand the past tense of some of the posts: Dave Barry is still alive and writing books. He just quit writing a weekly column.

[flourgirl]

I've always loved Barrys sense of humor too! Thanks for posting this Dave

When I had my proceedure I was already in serious trouble with The Big D and nausea! I don't think I got over the Movie Prep for a looooonnnnggg time. I STILL can't abide the very thought of ginger-ale, which I used to mix with. I've never had anything so disgusting. BUTT (heh heh) this very thing saved my life, because it was decided to do an endo at the same time, and so I got a diagnosis!!!! Good things sometimes do come in small (prep) boxes

[mushroom]

Gads, that was SO funny. "Think missile lifting off" :lol:

T'was an experience I'll never forget, but my prep was called something different (but was equally foul). And then I had to do it all again the very next week for a scan!! All that salt!! My ankles swelled and have never gone down since :(

[jackay]

I just came home from the drugstore with my Movi-Prep so decided I better google it and make sure this it is gluten free. This is the what I was lead to. Did I ever laugh. I think it will give me the humor I need to get through the prep and procedure. I'm thankful I don't know the person doing it.

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Thank heavens for humor!

[cahill]

OMG I laughed right out loud,lol

Thank you for bumping this thread,,,,

** cation ** do not have a mouth full of rice crackers while reading this thread **

[sa1937]

  On 2/17/2011 at 11:21 PM, jackay said:

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Just think, jackay...you'll be half-prepped before you start the prep!!! I was also!

Yes, I can relate after surviving a colonoscopy shortly before Christmas. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't read this hilarious rendition beforehand. Hahaha