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Have A Date But Also Have A Problem

jasonD2

By jasonD2
in Coping with Celiac Disease

Recommended Posts

jasonD2 Experienced
jasonD2
Posted

Met a girl who wants to go out with me but she suggested we meet for dinner on Friday. Im still reluctant to eat out since any type of seasoning or spice will aggravate my delicate GI and will cause burping and indigestion which could be a problem on a date; then theres the whole gluten thing

How do i handle this? i cant keep going out on dates that consist of drinks only eventually the girl is gonna wanna know what my deal is and why i dont eat? maybe ill just cancel the date all together...any suggestions?

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Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

Call or stop by the restaurant a few days before, let them know you are gluten free and see what they can have ready for you. Go on the date, enjoy your self and your friend.

I know you can do this and enjoy yourself.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Yeah Jason! I would think that telling a new girl about parasites & other gastric issues might be a bit of a turn-off. Maybe you could find a place that has something you can eat & talk to them ahead. When she asks why your eating plain chicken & cooked carrots, you may have to tell her you have some food allergies to sort out. Or your trying to loose weight/ get in shape. All true.

You could try for a date that doesn't involve food like bowling, golf, etc.

Good luck. Let us know all the juicy details. At least what the moderators will allow. :P

jasonD2 Experienced
jasonD2
Posted
  • Author

Im just gonna keep it at drinks this time. This may sound silly but I usually dont bring food into the mix until date#3 and by then theres usually a good chance i will be able to cook dinner which makes me look even better :)

lynnelise Apprentice
lynnelise
Posted

Is there an area restaurant you feel comfortable with? If so make sure to go there! Otherwise follow the above advice to check in ahead of time to see if they can accomodate you.

Have you told your date about having celiac disease? It's nothing to be ashamed of and beats canceling the date. Maybe she'd prefer to eat before seeing you and you could go to a movie or something.

jasonD2 Experienced
jasonD2
Posted
  • Author

i decided to just do drinks...i dont get into the celiac thing until im comfortable with the girl. saying that on a first date can be a big mistake...gotta put on my best game face, make her fall for me & then reveal my shortcomings at a later date ;)

tictax707 Apprentice
tictax707
Posted

I totally feel your pain and agony about dating with this disease! While it's nothing to be ashamed of or anything, I don't like to bring it up too early because I don't want the disease to define me, you know? Plus I don't want to hit them with too much big stuff too early either. Hope you have a fantastic time!!

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mbrookes Community Regular
mbrookes
Posted

How about this? What if she has celiac, too? There are a lot of us and some of us are really really cute!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Im just gonna keep it at drinks this time. This may sound silly but I usually dont bring food into the mix until date#3 and by then theres usually a good chance i will be able to cook dinner which makes me look even better :)

Cooking for her is great! I tell my boys this every time they complain that they have to fix thier own food.

Roda Rising Star
Roda
Posted

I don't know what part of the country you are in but what about a picnic at a local park or something? You could bring the food. I think it would be sweet.

CeliacMom2008 Enthusiast
CeliacMom2008
Posted

I'd capitalize on the great spring weather...drinks and a walk by a lake or river, botanical gardens, zoo or miniature golf or something you might have locally that you can use the spring weather as an excuse to go. A "we can't waste this beautiful weather" kind of approach. Assuming of course that spring has hit where you live.

tmbarke Apprentice
tmbarke
Posted

Met a girl who wants to go out with me but she suggested we meet for dinner on Friday. Im still reluctant to eat out since any type of seasoning or spice will aggravate my delicate GI and will cause burping and indigestion which could be a problem on a date; then theres the whole gluten thing

How do i handle this? i cant keep going out on dates that consist of drinks only eventually the girl is gonna wanna know what my deal is and why i dont eat? maybe ill just cancel the date all together...any suggestions?

awwe sweetie - don't be so hard on yourself.

I was up front about my issue and come to find out - they are a cook in a hospital that knows all about cooking gluten free....and has gout too so diet is understood.

Drinks is cool too - and getting to know a person for who they are rather than what you can afford is priceless too!

Now me and that hospital cook gout sufferer are very much in love because there is someone out there that understands.

I hope you are understood too!

Hugs and good luck! Prayers are with you!

Tena

KateGrace Newbie
KateGrace
Posted

I totally understand! Discussing flattened villi and abnormal bowel movements aren't very "romantic" first date conversations. :)

However, consider this: it could possibly lead to a very interesting conversation! If she knows nothing about it: great! She'll probably have loads of questions and you can educate her. She's a girl, is probably familiar with the cookie aisle (as all females are), and has probably noticed all the "gluten-free" signs popping up everywhere. Now you can fill her in.

And if she knows something about it--yay! Maybe her cousin has it. Then you have something in common (a good thing).

And with so many people being vegan, vegetarian, octo-lacto-vegetarian, on Atkins or paleo or bla bla bla, everyone seems to have an opinion on diets. Eating differently is no longer that weird...in fact, people are fascinated with other people's diets. You don't have to show this girl your lab results or go into any icky detail. You can just say your doctor recommended it or whatever. No big deal!

The point is--celiac is part of you, and it makes you interesting! And it makes for interesting conversation.

So no need to be scared.

Good luck!

KateGrace Newbie
KateGrace
Posted

p.s. I recommend a sushi place for dinner, since they usually don't have a lot of wheat lying around (lower risk of c/c). But call ahead of time and talk to the chef, if possible! You can order sashimi (raw fish) if you want to be safe, since the rice could be carelessly sprinkled with crumbs or whatnot.

Or, like others have suggested, cook your own dinner! I'm a girl, and YES, this is very charming.

ianm Apprentice
ianm
Posted

Go out to dinner to a place that serves food that is naturally gluten free. Talk about the celiac but leave out the gross details. It will give you something to talk about and chicks dig that kind of thing as long as it doesn't get gross. B)

ShoreGirl Newbie
ShoreGirl
Posted

Met a girl who wants to go out with me but she suggested we meet for dinner on Friday. Im still reluctant to eat out since any type of seasoning or spice will aggravate my delicate GI and will cause burping and indigestion which could be a problem on a date; then theres the whole gluten thing

How do i handle this? i cant keep going out on dates that consist of drinks only eventually the girl is gonna wanna know what my deal is and why i dont eat? maybe ill just cancel the date all together...any suggestions?

Hi Jason!

I feel your pain and insecurity TOTALLY! I am a woman in the dating scene requiring a gluten free menu and Ive noticed that if you just try to order "with this, without that" and not mention anything THATS when people start to wonder. Is she high maintenance?? So I have found it better to be open and say "that I have food allergies and just try to keep to my diet." Almost everyone has something that they cant eat and if they cant accept that then they are not worth dating anyway. Its life. Keep it simple until they get to know you but all dates end up eating food. Outback has gluten free menu, been good with sushi, salads. You can do it and not be completely freaked about it. Have a great date-and so what youre a wine drinker not a beer drinker! LOL

Wendy:)

skigirlchar Newbie
skigirlchar
Posted

one of my best 1st dates (before my dr. even thought i might have celiac's) started over 5 plates at as tapas resturant. 1/2 the choices could have made would have killed me but i just told him I had a lot of weird allergies. ended up being one of THE BEST DATES I EVER went on. I kept trying to get him to talk about himself, he kept wanting to know more about me and all my weird allergies. I finally asked if he was putting together a dossier to kill me on a later date.

  • 2 weeks later...
K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted

How about this? What if she has celiac, too? There are a lot of us and some of us are really really cute!

SO TRUE! OMG what if she's Celiac and doesn't want to tell YOU?

MY how the tables could TURN lol

afreeclimber74 Rookie
afreeclimber74
Posted

I'm pretty sure she burps, farts, and poops too.

MagpieWrites Rookie
MagpieWrites
Posted

And if she doesn't.... there are bigger problems in her life than dealing with a dates celiac! (Possible exploding worries, for one! lol)

mommida Enthusiast
mommida
Posted

I would LOVE the home cooked meal! ;)

Have you found any places that are just gluten free? Some of the places here in MI that are strictly gluten free don't have huge signs or any over the top signs announcing gluten free. I even asked if this was "the gluten free" place just to make sure.

Relax and go at your own pace, but don't wait too long. She is going to have to make sure she has gluten free lips for some safe kissing. :P

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      how much gluten do I need to eat before blood tests?

      By catnapt · Posted

      oh that's interesting... it's hard to say for sure but it has *seemed* like oats might be causing me some vague issues in the past few months. It's odd that I never really connect specific symptoms to foods, it's more of an all over feeling of unwellness after  eating them.  If it happens a few times after eating the same foods- I cut back or avoid them. for this reason I avoid dairy and eggs.  So far this has worked well for me.  oh, I have some of Bob's Red Mill Mighty Tasty Hot cereal and I love it! it's hard to find but I will be looking for more.  for the next few weeks I'm going to be concentrating on whole fresh fruits and veggies and beans and nuts and seeds. I'll have to find out if grains are truly necessary in our diet. I buy brown rice pasta but only eat that maybe once a month at most. Never liked quinoa. And all the other exotic sounding grains seem to be time consuming to prepare. Something to look at later. I love beans and to me they provide the heft and calories that make me feel full for a lot longer than a big bowl of broccoli or other veggies. I can't even tolerate the plant milks right now.  I have reached out to the endo for guidance regarding calcium intake - she wants me to consume 1000mgs from food daily and I'm not able to get to more than 600mgs right now.  not supposed to use a supplement until after my next round of testing for hyperparathyroidism.   thanks again- you seem to know quite a bit about celiac.  
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    • SilkieFairy
      IBS-D vs Celiac

      By SilkieFairy · Posted

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