Kids, Food Allergies And Parties

[AmyT]

Hi All,

I am having a hard time deciding what to do for my kids this Halloween. My son who is 9, is gluten free, but my 12 year old daughter is not only gluten free but grain free and following the GAPS/SCD diet. She is responding quite well to it but it does mean a lot of sacrificing. Now my big question is what to do about school parties. I just don't know what to do, and would love to know what others have done in a situation like this. My daughter can not have any sugar at all, and everything has to be made at home basically. Am I crazy for taking them out of school for the last half of the day to miss out on their "Fall Parties". I am trying to entice them with going to a movie or something, but they can't get too excited about that. I am glad Halloween is on a Sunday so that might be an easier low key night. They did express interest in just passing out candy so that might work.

I'd love to know what others have done in situations like this.

Thanks!!

[Charlie's Girl]

I don't have any experience with this- but just wanted to say:

You're a GOOD MOM.

[kareng]

I know a kid who sometimes stays home if he can't participate because he gets frustrated. If they want to be at school, send them with something they can have.

Around our neighborhood, groups of kids and a couple of parents trick or treat. So its just as important to be with your friends as to get candy. They then meet up at one house & trade candy. This could work for the younger one. When I got too old to trick or treat (I have done this for my boys, too), I get them a bag of their favorite Halloween candy just for themselves. Maybe you could get or make something special for your daughter. She can dress up and pass out candy or hide in the bushes and jump out. They could both stay home and make a little haunted house or a funny game for kids to play. Games like tossing plastic spiders into a plastic jack o lantern & then everyone gets a candy.

[missy'smom]

My 12 year old's class is going on a field trip in Oct. that I am not comfortable giving permission for so I am letting him stay home and we are going to do something special-bowling, movie, lunch out, shopping for something he's saved up for. If he went to school but didn't go on the field trip it would be a whole day of busy work staying in a classroom and would feel like a long detention. He has nearly perfect attendance so one unexcused absence, we don't mind.

It is possible to eat a meal out gluten-free, grain-free, sugar-free etc. That's how I'll be ordering when I take DS out.

It's up to how your kiddo feels, sometimes mine is OK with skipping the goodies and just being part of the event. Sometimes I have an alternative on hand or special treat waiting at home. As I said, I am free of many things so the usual goodies are off limits but I have learned to find other kinds of treats/indulgences. Think about or talk with her about things she really enjoys that are either non-food or "safe" foods/ drinks. Maybe making a safe food together. Can she have almond meal? There are a number of almond meal baked goods that can be made. I used to make pumpkin muffins with no sugar and no sugar replacers, with almond meal.

[celiac-mommy]

I would ask the same... How do they feel about it? My dd wouldn't care and would want to be there with her friends anyway, my son would take advantage of lunch and a movie-he hates feeling different.

Our Halloween tradition goes like this--kids trick-or-treat for as long as they can do it without being carried or having their treat bags carried. Then we go home, dump out the bags, sort out the gluten-free candy, gluten-free candy goes in the middle of the table and they eat to their heart's content until they can eat no more. The rest goes in a bag and to their dentist the next day for prizes

[AmyT]

Awww Charlie's Girl, thanks so much, I needed that! I really appreciate everyone's input. I think you are right. I know my son would love to stay and enjoy the festivities, and as a previous super crazy sweet tooth guy, he has no problem turning down sweets, he can have the occasional candy treat etc but when he can't he doesn't take it personal like my daughter. She is the one I worry about the most. She is twelve, and she is really is sensitive about not being able to eat like the other kids, but she knows how terrible it makes her feel. She gets all defensive about it and now it is affecting her social life at school. I think she feels like she is so different and therefore acts like an outsider and therefore is being treated like one. She is having a really hard time making friends this year. So I am very hesitant to take her out and make her even more different. She is having a hard time which breaks my heart. Thanks for the the support and hearing me out!

[Jestgar]

When I got too old to trick or treat ....

You coulda just sent the kids out with an extra bag to bring you back candy.

[missy'smom]

She is twelve, and she is really is sensitive about not being able to eat like the other kids, but she knows how terrible it makes her feel. She gets all defensive about it and now it is affecting her social life at school. I think she feels like she is so different and therefore acts like an outsider and therefore is being treated like one. She is having a really hard time making friends this year. So I am very hesitant to take her out and make her even more different. She is having a hard time which breaks my heart. Thanks for the the support and hearing me out!

It's tough being a 12 year old. Mines' going through some of the same stuff. Certainly different diet just adds to the list of things that make him feel different but I think alot of it is just 12 year old stuff. He responds exactly the opposite as your daughter, and still gets the same response. This is when we are challenged with teaching them to form a strong self-identity and stand strong in their own skin and have confidence in themselves. I belong to a forum of moms who send lunches, some with food allergies, other without. I'm told food allergies or not, the challenges with lunches I have are part of middle school and it gets better in high-school. I hope so.