The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Sequel

[kareng 2,318]

What did the vegetarian zombie eat?

 

 

Graaaaaaaaains!

 

 

[IrishHeart 1,644]

What did the vegetarian zombie eat?

 

 

Graaaaaaaaains!

 

 

  lol

[moosemalibu 48]

 

I have been dealing with potty training a 3 year old beagle rescue... and this is humorous yet totally my life.  ::face palm::

[elye 96]

           

[GottaSki 460]

 

I have been dealing with potty training a 3 year old beagle rescue... and this is humorous yet totally my life.  ::face palm::

Lmao...just had a visit from my kids, kidlets and their two dogs...great dogs, but the youngest somehow forgot the way to the back yard...doh! Been a long time since I stepped in poop ... Um don't think I ever have in the house .. Now where is that cute vomit dude when I need him?

[LauraTX 115]

When I was 16, we were making a 7 hour road trip to visit family that we do fairly often.  This time it was special, because the girlfriend who my dad eventually married was with us, and we were getting in some quality time together.  We got stuck in traffic on I-20 in rural Louisiana, and sat in the same place for 3 hours since there was a jackknifed truck or something of the like.  Eventually everyone had their cars turned off and were sitting there napping, etc... and the whole time I kept smelling something bad.  I couldn't figure it out... I asked my dad if he farted, he said he would have owned up to it.  So, eventually I came to the conclusion that his girlfriend was farting and not saying anything, so I asked her a few times and she denied it.  I think my dad was starting to think this as well.

 

A few minutes later as I am getting all antsy from sitting forever, I gaze down and there is something on my shoe.  I reach out to touch it to see what it is and JUST as soon as I stick my finger on it I realize it is dog poop.  Commence crying freakout.  Luckily we got cleared out of there soon after and I remember my now step mom helping me as I was crying in the restroom of a gas station.... I had just bought those new shoes with my own money and I threw them out!  LOL.....  my aunt felt bad and bought me new shoes when I was there visiting.

 

It was my first great bonding experience with my stepmom, LOL.  I still say sorry to her for thinking she wasn't owning up to it!  

[GottaSki 460]

Great memory Laura and a good poop story. So many of our smelly stories are funny after a bit of time and distance

[IrishHeart 1,644]

It was my first great bonding experience with my stepmom, LOL.  I still say sorry to her for thinking she wasn't owning up to it!  

 

yes, nothing says "it's great getting to know you" like farts and poop. It's how I bonded with J's mother.

yeah, she had a bowel resection surgery  and guess what newly wed got to empty her portable potty for her and help her wipe her butt? It wasn't him.

And yet, she never could warm up to me. (and that's putting it mildly). Poor grouchy thing. 

[kareng 2,318]

A joke -

What's brown and sticky?

[IrishHeart 1,644]

A joke -

What's brown and sticky?

 snort...um, Laura's shoe?

 

j/k ...do tell! lol

[kareng 2,318]

A stick!

Were you thinking something else?

Dumb 4 year old joke

[IrishHeart 1,644]

A stick!

Were you thinking something else?

Dumb 4 year old joke

 

 

Don't poke fun at me for not figuring it out. I'm a LOT older than 4. 

[kareng 2,318]

 

 

 

But at least its gluten-free?

[GottaSki 460]

100% of all peeps exposed to water will die...roflmao

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

That is funny stuff, right there...I do believe I'll be stealing that line very soon

 

I am so happy to have a line to counter one of hubs favorites

 

"Life causes Death."

Edited June 12, 2014 by GottaSki

[IrishHeart 1,644]

 

 

 

But at least its gluten-free?

 

 

are you sure, because "I HEARD THAT...."

 

 

100% of all peeps exposed to water will die...roflmao

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

That is funny stuff, right there...I do believe I'll be stealing that line very soon

 

I am so happy to have a line to counter one of hubs favorites

 

"Life causes Death."

 

 

yup 

[kareng 2,318]

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical womans's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.

[GottaSki 460]

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical womans's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.

Thanks for the giggles...Hubs back in ER...keep the silly stuff flowing please

[IrishHeart 1,644]

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical womans's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.

 

In this case, i am happy to say "I am not your typical woman"...337? what the...? that's crazy....Just for fun, I may go and count later....

[IrishHeart 1,644]

Thanks for the giggles...Hubs back in ER...keep the silly stuff flowing please

 

uh-oh....what happened???

edit: okay, saw your email from the middle of the night...hope they found out what's going on by now, Prayers and love sent.

[IrishHeart 1,644]

 

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came around,
he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake,
Paddy, stepped out of the boat ... and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him back into the boat and safety.

 Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

 'Grandma,' he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like me farder, his farder, and his farder before him?"

 Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,"Because ye farder, ye grandfarder and ye great-grandfarder were all born in January, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!"

[GF Lover 202]

Evidently I should not drink coffee while at the computer or maybe I need a "Coffee Proof" one?  And Irish, I am sending you some shirts to launder since YOU caused the "coffee spits"         

 

[IrishHeart 1,644]

Evidently I should not drink coffee while at the computer or maybe I need a "Coffee Proof" one?  And Irish, I am sending you some shirts to launder since YOU caused the "coffee spits"         

 

 

 

well, then, looks like my work here is finished. 

[kareng 2,318]

How does NASA organize a party?

They PLANET!

[GottaSki 460]

Lol

Times two.

[kareng 2,318]

Apparently, today is a national holiday!  Blame Someone Else Day!

 

to celebrate, my hub's work group are having a potluck lunch.  Everyone is bringing dessert.  They will blame the calories on someone else.