The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

My Ipod is frozen and I can't get it to work.....that is disappointing!

I've always wondered and now I know!!

The "I" is for Icicle!!

[] <-------- tongue stuck to iPod

[Jestgar]

and OMG..........the dingos were home safe with me, insofar as I know.......all night............

I hope so. There's no telling what the brief electric zaps as sprinkler water hit is head did to his thought processes. I'm afraid he may be planning to lead a furred revolution, collecting up as many willing participants as he can find, and convincing them to table dance at some of the finest restaurants in NY wearing only bikinis. I know he's be watching the coverage of the candidates, and most recently there was a piece on Guliani, which is why I'm thinking new york.

Suze, check to make sure the dingos' bikinis are still in the closet...

[elye]

excellent - this brought an actual GUFFAW for me this mornign!!!!!!!!!!

I don't got no stinkin' rack no more = infinitely quotable why yes, it is

YAY! Made Pseudo-Z laugh!

I knew it, Emily is a despot, isn't she

Indeed...I'm a diplomat's despot, at times fondly referred to as "diplodespot", but since this sounds rather like a newly discovered Alberta dinosaur, I do not encourage this short form...

Well, I'm afraid that when <SOMEONE> put all those shells into the yeti's hair <SOMEONE> used a metallic glue which apparently hasn't washed out.

Mygawd.....

Our poor yeti! He's out loose, quite possibly injured...if he's found, should he be taken to a doc or a vet? Jess, did you manage to do any DNA testing on him before this catastrophe took place, to determine an exact species ID? And Nikki! What on earth were you thinking, using metallic gel on his hair to smooth the shells down? Perhaps the search parties should simply head out into the bush with enormous magnets....

[DingoGirl]

I hope so. There's no telling what the brief electric zaps as sprinkler water hit is head did to his thought processes. I'm afraid he may be planning to lead a furred revolution, collecting up as many willing participants as he can find, and convincing them to table dance at some of the finest restaurants in NY wearing only bikinis. I know he's be watching the coverage of the candidates, and most recently there was a piece on Guliani, which is why I'm thinking new york.

I'll comment on this later....but DO remind me to tell y'all about the time, in 1983 when Fresno STate BULLDOGS (BOOOOO!!) won the NIT in New York - we (the team and various wanton fans) danced ON THE TABLES of an old pub in NY until 4 in the morning......good gawd.....I have photos somewhere

Um, Jess......what exactly happened to YOU in this lab experiment gone horribly awry?

Mygawd.....

Our poor yeti! He's out loose, quite possibly injured...if he's found, should he be taken to a doc or a vet? Jess, did you manage to do any DNA testing on him before this catastrophe took place, to determine an exact species ID? And Nikki! What on earth were you thinking, using metallic gel on his hair to smooth the shells down? Perhaps the search parties should simply head out into the bush with enormous magnets....

:lol:

another one of those distinctly MAD posts that makes me snort and think, what would newcomers think to stumble upon THIS series of thoughts strung together

:lol:

[nikki-uk]

an egregious bundle of scholarly tasks

GAD yes, hate them

where are all of you people in other time zones, who should have posted something silly here this morning? 'tis Friday!

It WAS awful.....I was inert, nay! paralysed with procrastination.....must...get ...xmas...tree...out ..from...cupboard...under...stairs.......

Hooray for Serotonin -- it beats Substance P any day in my books!

Can I get some in liquid form?? - mixed with a tad of noradrenaline?? ..the perfect tonic

Well, I'm afraid that when <SOMEONE> put all those shells into the yeti's hair <SOMEONE> used a metallic glue which apparently hasn't washed out.

*Cough*

leaving a trail of smoke and stinking wet fur on the walls he dragged the bevy of scientists along by their headsets, their wires tangled around his left leg. He managed to shake them off and ran out into the night.

This part of the sentence by far made me laugh the hardest for some reason ...'twas the mental image of the'bevy of scientists' being dragged along by their headsets I think

and good gawd, the stench of wet, smoldering yeti - a hard one to eliminate and impossible to describe

Some kind of industrial strength Oust??, Febreze??? ....oh wait, no.......if it can't remove the stench of Hoff wee it ain't gonna touch wet smouldering yeti

[Ridgewalker]

My Ipod is frozen and I can't get it to work.....that is disappointing!

Mine does that sometimes. If I just leave it alone, it runs a self-diagnostic thingy and fixes itself!

Hello everyone! I'm not dead!

It's the last full week of school, and I'm going absolutely INSANE.

1 paper

5 article reviews (yay for empirical articles in Psychology journals...NOT)

1 test today (easy, thank God)

3 tests next week

Ok, that just made me SHUDDER and filled me with gladness that I'm not longer in college.

I don't got no stinkin' rack no more = infinitely quotable :lol: why yes, it is

:lol:

Well, I'm afraid that when <SOMEONE> put all those shells into the yeti's hair <SOMEONE> used a metallic glue which apparently hasn't washed out.

..................

I haven't seen him since, but someone said they thought they heard him muttering something that sounded like "dingos".

:lol: OMG this had me giggling like a fool! I can picture it so clearly! :lol:

[Jestgar]

Um, Jess......what exactly happened to YOU in this lab experiment gone horribly awry?

I'm actually very worried. I had just finished preparing to do the testing when my arm was bumped and somehow I managed to inject myself with pure yeti DNA.

What will happen if it integrates into my own genome? Could my hair possibly look any worse than it does now? Will I have to clean my shower drain every day? And those huge feet! I'll never find dressy shoes that fit

[tom]

Or perhaps you are apologizing for saying my bad. For this, I shall forgive you.

Oops, sorry about the confusion regarding what prompted my apology.

My bad.

Incidentally, Tom, I'm relieved to see your new, sophisticated disguise. The last chicken suit obviously failed to hide your identity, as Janet easily picked up our clandestine cyberchatter....No one will know who I'm dallying with, now. Incredible work...you've done PI work before, haven't you?

<she said "clandestine cyberchatter">

I knew it, Emily is a despot, isn't she

Heehee whenever I see the store Office Depot, I think Office Despot.

. . .. . ... .

As he ran through the hallway leaving a trail of smoke and stinking wet fur on the walls he dragged the bevy of scientists along by their headsets, their wires tangled around his left leg. . . . .

ROFL!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

. . .. . a furred revolution, collecting up as many willing participants as he can find, and convincing them to table dance at some of the finest restaurants in NY wearing only bikinis. . . ..

. ...

Suze, check to make sure the dingos' bikinis are still in the closet...

OMG and there's MORE!!!! :lol:

Indeed...I'm a diplomat's despot, at times fondly referred to as "diplodespot", but since this sounds rather like a newly discovered Alberta dinosaur, I do not encourage this short form...

. . . Perhaps the search parties should simply head out into the bush with enormous magnets....

So much hilarity before I even get 1st cup o' java in me!! I have to think more replies would've come to mind had I delayed reading until mid-2nd-cup.

Whoa! Pseu-zee traveled to NY to attend basketball games????!!

Dating a player back then? Or the coach?

[Ridgewalker]

I'm actually very worried. I had just finished preparing to do the testing when my arm was bumped and somehow I managed to inject myself with pure yeti DNA.

What will happen if it integrates into my own genome? Could my hair possibly look any worse than it does now? Will I have to clean my shower drain every day? And those huge feet! I'll never find dressy shoes that fit

*GASP!*

[DingoGirl]

What will happen if it integrates into my own genome? Could my hair possibly look any worse than it does now? Will I have to clean my shower drain every day? And those huge feet! I'll never find dressy shoes that fit

oh good gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd :lol:

Jess is funnier than usual this morning - prompting curioUsity of the heretofore unnavigated vagaries and mysteries of the mind of Yeti

Whoa! Pseu-zee traveled to NY to attend basketball games????!!

Dating a player back then? Or the coach?

'twas a player. The only coach I dated was the men's tennis coach. I think.

[elye]

Jess is funnier than usual this morning - prompting curioUsity of the heretofore unnavigated vagaries and mysteries of the mind of Yeti

Agreed....but Jess, I fear for you, now. What on earth will become of you? Combining DNA is....terrifying stuff. There were photos in our National papers not long ago, showing work that Chinese scientists have done--they injected human DNA (no wait...or was it stem cells?....C'mon, you bevy of science minds, here, help me out!) into a mouse, and the end result was a little mouse with a large human ear growing out of its back. So, Jess...mygawd.....you may have...yeti things erupting from your skin. I should think that if all you get away with is crazier hair or size 15 shoes, you'd be a lucky one...

'twas a player. The only coach I dated was the men's tennis coach. I think.

Wasn't he the French guy who stunk?

[blueeyedmanda]

My coworkers and I snuck out shopping for 2 hrs today in the snow.....I bought some stuff too!

[Ridgewalker]

My coworkers and I snuck out shopping for 2 hrs today in the snow.....I bought some stuff too!

WOOHOO for retail therapy! YES!

I'm making a trip to Tar-jay tomorrow morning, in search of Legos and Transformer bedsheets!

I made some gluten-free sugar cookies last night, first time. They turned out GREAT, just like regular! (whew!) They even taste great with no frosting. The boys and I are taking them to a friend's house this afternoon for a little Christmas cookie decorating party.

[blueeyedmanda]

Tar-jey is a bit of a hike from work, we went to the Hershey Outlets. SpringMaid is going out of business. I got a full sized comforter for $13 bucks....Martha Stewart brand at that

[Ridgewalker]

Tar-jey is a bit of a hike from work, we went to the Hershey Outlets. SpringMaid is going out of business. I got a full sized comforter for $13 bucks....Martha Stewart brand at that

Wow, good one!!! I love hearing about people's bargain finds!

[blueeyedmanda]

We waited until our boss left for DC, not that she would have cared anyway. We left at 11:30, just came back at 1:30....we are so bad! The snow is falling down, hopefully when we are leaving the roads won't be too bad.

[JoyfulM]

Ok, I really don't need to be on here. But honestly, if you had to choose between working on a paper or checking the Sillies before class, which would you choose?

Wasn't he the French guy who stunk?

:lol: :lol:

Speaking of accents, there's a student at my school from Scotland. I just found out were he was from yesterday when he gave a class presentation. Gosh, that accent makes me swoon. Just don't tell the BF.

[Ridgewalker]

Scottish and Irish accents are INFINITELY swoonable!

[nikki-uk]

What will happen if it integrates into my own genome? Could my hair possibly look any worse than it does now? Will I have to clean my shower drain every day? And those huge feet! I'll never find dressy shoes that fit

Don't panic J!...We will do something with the hair ummm (you might find it a bit courser)...braid it maybe??

We just have to avoid this

prompting curioUsity of the heretofore unnavigated vagaries and mysteries of the mind of Yeti

Fabulous sentence!!!

Tar-jey is a bit of a hike from work, we went to the Hershey Outlets. SpringMaid is going out of business. I got a full sized comforter for $13 bucks....Martha Stewart brand at that

Oh my GAWD - like my very own Tesco - and what a bargain! ..that would be...around

[blueeyedmanda]

So after we came back from shopping, we spent the rest of the day decorating our office for Christmas, making snowflakes out of tin paper and hanging things. Making a Christmas mural....what a wonderful Friday. The snow falling outside really got us into the spirit.

But we did have an excuse. Our network computers got knocked offline today, hospital wide so most applications were made unavailable.....so we did not just sit and twiddle our thumbs.

[elye]

Whenever I hear a Scottish accent, I always think of my grandmother's joke that she used to tell, in a terrific Scottish brogue (This was my dad's mom, and she was funnier than he is...) Now, I'm certain that much of the effect and humoUr came from her fantastic rolling R's and lilting cadence, but I think it will still be funny when read:

Old Ina and Fiona, both in their eighties, are trudging slowly along a cobbled path in Glasgow. Ina says to her friend, "You know, I had me operation last week".

"Oh!", exclaims Fiona, "that's why you're walkin' so slow. How are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm feelin' better today, I must say. But do you know....they had to shave me?"

Fiona looks at Ina, horrified. "They shaved you...Down there?"

"Aye", Ina replies. "Quite something, really. C'mon behind the shrubs here, and I'll show you".

The two old ladies clamber behind the hedge. Up goes Ina's skirt, down go her bloomers. "My!" exclaims Fiona, looking under Ina's skirt. "You know, I must say, it makes you look a lot younger!"

[Darn210]

Well, I'm afraid that when <SOMEONE> put all those shells into the yeti's hair <SOMEONE> used a metallic glue which apparently hasn't washed out.

Once the yeti started through the maze and started sweating, the metal bits in his hair reacted with the metal electrodes. He's fine - no need to worry - he'll just be having a bad hair day for quite some time....

The maze, unfortunately, did not fare so well.

The sparks from the electrodes ignited the walls which smoked, more than they burned and set of the sprinkler system. The water put out the flaming yeti, but made the floor very slippery. As everyone ran for the exit, the yeti slipped on the floor, slid into the wall (taking out a whole row of fleeing scientist who actually became airborne from the force of the impact and were flung into the corners of the lab) and smashed through the wall into the monitoring room.

Well, if you've ever smelled a wet, smoldering yeti you'll understand why that room emptied almost immediately as well. Unfortunately, being full of scientists, they all forgot that they were actually connected to the monitoring panel by headsets and microphones and an assortment of wires. As they ran for the door they created a web of wires which they yeti ran into, and through.

As he ran through the hallway leaving a trail of smoke and stinking wet fur on the walls he dragged the bevy of scientists along by their headsets, their wires tangled around his left leg. He managed to shake them off and ran out into the night.

I haven't seen him since, but someone said they thought they heard him muttering something that sounded like "dingos".

OH MY, JESS!!! I can't imagine the tab he ran up with all the damage he's caused. I'm sure your lab's insurance will cover the cost . . . I sure hope they don't have a smoldering yeti exclusion clause.

I'm actually very worried. I had just finished preparing to do the testing when my arm was bumped and somehow I managed to inject myself with pure yeti DNA.

What will happen if it integrates into my own genome? Could my hair possibly look any worse than it does now? Will I have to clean my shower drain every day? And those huge feet! I'll never find dressy shoes that fit

Is there some sort of prophylactic available?

Excellent Work Sillies - I have come in from a very busy day (spent the day with a horde of 6-11 olds) and am thoroughly enjoying my respite before the evening activities (Family Christmas Party benefitting Toys for Tots - another but different agglomeration of children). I'm tired and I need an alcoholic beverage!

[Darn210]

Jess is funnier than usual this morning - prompting curioUsity of the heretofore unnavigated vagaries and mysteries of the mind of Yeti

Are you saying Jess is funnier because of the comingling of the Yeti DNA? . . . thus the Yeti's sense of humoUr which previously was thought to be virtually non-existent is indeed more advanced than our own (much like his hearing, sense of smell, and actual smell)

[tom]

. . . ... smoldering yeti exclusion clause.

<rising voice> I think we've got a title for CBC's 2nd C.D!!

Or would it be BadassSnowPoodles'?

Which one are WE again? BSP!

P.S. I thought of a real moneymaker!

But, shoot!! www.supplementalsmolderingyeti.com is already dominating market share.

[DingoGirl]

Agreed....but Jess, I fear for you, now. What on earth will become of you? Combining DNA is....terrifying stuff. There were photos in our National papers not long ago, showing work that Chinese scientists have done--they injected human DNA (no wait...or was it stem cells?....C'mon, you bevy of science minds, here, help me out!) into a mouse, and the end result was a little mouse with a large human ear growing out of its back. So, Jess...mygawd.....you may have...yeti things erupting from your skin. I should think that if all you get away with is crazier hair or size 15 shoes, you'd be a lucky one...

Yeah, Jess'll be lucky if she only ends up with bigger feet and is a little more hirsute than usual..........

Wasn't he the French guy who stunk?

You mean I told you about him? No, 'twas not. Do I keep anything to myself?

I'm making a trip to Tar-jay tomorrow morning, in search of Legos and Transformer bedsheets!

Um, ahem, Sarah, I don't mean to sound harsh, but I REALLY don't think you need to tell us about your kinky little fetishes and mood enhancers here........

:lol: :lol: :lol:

*snort*

Ok, I really don't need to be on here. But honestly, if you had to choose between working on a paper or checking the Sillies before class, which would you choose?

Um.........remember my spanish class, and the constant avoidance of homework? ha ha, I think the answer is clear.........

Up goes Ina's skirt, down go her bloomers. "My!" exclaims Fiona, looking under Ina's skirt. "You know, I must say, it makes you look a lot younger!"

*snnnort*

OH MY, JESS!!! I can't imagine the tab he ran up with all the damage he's caused. I'm sure your lab's insurance will cover the cost . . . I sure hope they don't have a smoldering yeti exclusion clause.

little-known but surprisingly oft-used..........in the colder countries.

P.S. I thought of a real moneymaker!

But, shoot!! www.supplementalsmolderingyeti.com is already dominating market share.

*snort*

yes but probably a rather limited supply of that resource, anyway.