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Friend Doesn't Get It

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 06:23 PM


As a teenager, there are some things about your life that you do not have control of.

You are old enough to make your own decisions about some things. You have the right to decide what you will (or will not) eat. Nobody can "make" you eat anything. If this was a parent trying to force something on you, there might be some room to argue. They do have some authority over a minor. But the daughter of your mom's friend--phooey. Tell her to stick the gluten where the sun doesn't shine. She's a bully and is NOT your friend. :ph34r:
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Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000.
Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986
Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 08:06 PM

I feel for you. Most of us moms here can remember (it doesn't feel like that long ago) what it was like to put up with the line crossing behavior of our teenage "friends". It seems a universal problem with teenage girls especially. So many of them think it's their job in your life to tell you what to do because that's what they want.

I've got a couple of kids now - one son in 2nd year of college - and a daughter who is almost 10. A little Mom advice here...learn now how to surround yourself with people who respect you in life. You'll be a lot happier. If a friend cannot support your food choices (I mean who cares what you eat - gimme a break?) what else will she attempt to force on you as the mood suits her? This girl is truly not your friend.

The kind of friends you surround yourself with will lead to the type of man you marry. It's a life skill to learn to surround yourself with supportive, kind, caring people. If you can learn it now at 13/14 years of age, my dear, you are sooo ahead in life. You'll have friends that last a lifetime and then you'll have a great husband someday and then your kids will thank you.

Hang in there and stand your ground. If she doesn't back down, face off with her and tell her what you think of her bullying behavior. There are girls out there that would love to have you as a friend. Go find them :)



Wow I never thought about that. Thanks for all the support and advice! It really helped me
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I have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease since April 2011.
~ Susie ~ :)



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Posted 24 April 2011 - 03:01 AM

People like this will be around all the time! It's not fair, it's not nice, and we shouldn't have to put up with it but we do.

She reminds me of my sister. My sister thinks she's always right but she doesn't know anything about gluten-free which creates a lot of controversy. One thing I've done is just to take my own food with when I eat with her. I simply say this is my food and this is what I'm eating. I don't make a big deal out of it and always take something precooked easily warmed up in a microwave. I also let her try my food I bring and she's slowly starting to change her attitude.

Best of luck to you and hope things turn out for you!
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Gluten Free since November 2010 and feeling fantastic!

(Mis)diagnosis with IBS in 2004
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Posted 24 April 2011 - 04:23 AM

Susie, I think you're a very itelligent young lady and will find it easier to stand up to the people in your life as they try to sabotage your diet. It definitely helps when you get older to simply say NO and have people realize that you really mean NO. I know I had one friend who thought I had totally gone overboard (approaching OCD). Like, "not everyone with celiac is such a fanatic as you are"...and we've probably all gotten, "but a little bit won't hurt you, so-and-so ate a tiny piece of it and it didn't hurt her", et al. Also, "Why did you buy a new toaster...you could just shake the crumbs out of it." NOT!

Maybe you should wish diarrhea on your "friend". :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Positive Celiac Blood Panel - Dec., 2009
Endoscopy with Positive Biopsy - April 9, 2010
Gluten Free - April 9, 2010



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Posted 24 April 2011 - 05:09 AM

First off I agree with the others that this girl is not your freind. Do talk to your Mom about this so she can alert the girls mother about what is going on. Be very careful about eating anything this person can get near as she will likely try to sneak gluten into stuff without you knowing. Be firm about refusing and don't let her bully you. Just because your mother is her mothers freind doesn't mean you have to take it. They can be freinds without you two having to associate.
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Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying
"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

celiac 49 years - Misdiagnosed for 45
Blood tested and repeatedly negative
Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002
Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis
All bold resoved or went into remission with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002
Some residual nerve damage remains as of 2006- this has continued to resolve after eliminating soy in 2007

Mother died of celiac related cancer at 56
Twin brother died as a result of autoimmune liver destruction at age 15

Children 2 with Ulcers, GERD, Depression, , 1 with DH, 1 with severe growth stunting (male adult 5 feet)both finally diagnosed Celiac through blood testing and 1 with endo 6 months after Mom

Positive to Soy and Casien also Aug 2007

Gluten Sensitivity Gene Test Aug 2007
HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)


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Posted 24 April 2011 - 05:37 AM

Always remember friends don't make friends eat poison.
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If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'-unknown



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Posted 24 April 2011 - 07:45 AM

I am making my way through Allergic Girl's new book, "Allergic Girl: Adventures in Living Well with Food Allergies", and so far I love it! She has so many great suggestions for handling situations like this with your friends. I thought the trailer for her book was hilarious, if you want to see it: http://www.youtube.c...u/1/PMwzEKkm7ro .

The book has some specific stories about celiac too! And my 7 yo DD seems to be enjoying the read as well. It is nice to to know that others can relate to the struggles of celiac and food allergy. And there is lots of great information and strategies for working your way through the many relationships that you face while dealing with your medical needs. Take care and do not eat the gluten!
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My super silly red siren is my guiding light. She has been a tremendous lesson for me in how gluten affects different people in very different ways. She is a super duper silly girl that was simply born that way. I have no idea why I am so blessed to have her guidance.

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