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Life Has A Way Of Playing Cruel Jokes On You...


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24 replies to this topic

#1 Trudyjerry

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 03:12 PM

I'm in the middle of a total melt-down. This is some sort of a cruel, cruel joke. I enjoy food. I love cooking. I absolutely love feeding other people. I'm very creative in the kitchen. The colors and flavor combinations and textures were my pleasures in the kitchen. These days I can't stand being in my kitchen.

Take the gluten sensitivity, throw in a dairy allergy, add a sprinkle of apricot allergy, a splash of off limits passion fruit juice, mix it all together and top it with a possible soy intolerance and you've got me.

I've been gluten free almost four months now and I'm still angry and feeling very much betrayed by my own body. Please tell me that this does eventually get easier, that I will be able to enjoy spending time in my kitchen again. It's not that I haven't been enjoying cooking gluten and dairy free but I want my old life back. I've had to turn my life upside down. I've turned my kids' lives upside down. I've turned my husband's live upside down and none of it is fair.

All I want to do is stomp my foot like a three year old. I want to throw a temper tantrum.

Life plays cruel, cruel jokes on you...
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#2 Christine0125

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 03:49 PM

So sorry you're feeling down. I keep telling myself this will become the new normal in due time for not just myself but my family as well. I'm also waiting for that day because I still seem consumed by it.
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#3 bartfull

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 03:51 PM

I never liked cooking and now I HAVE to. And I'm not good at it. So on top of not being able to eat the foods I used to love, now I'm stuck eating my own lousy cooking. Talk about a cruel joke! You could almost say it's a tasteless joke.

OK, sorry. I don't know what to tell you except that you'll get used to it. My Dad had severe asthma, and as the years went on he could no longer do woodworking (swadust), or small engine repair (gas fumes) or a lot of the physical things he used to love to do. He told me each time he lost something it freed up time to learn something new. He was always upbeat and happy.

I know I'll never be as good a person as he was, but he sure taught me a lot.
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gluten-free since June, 2011

Can't eat soy, corn, or foods high in salicylates.

Nightshades now seem to bother me too.

 

BUT I CAN STILL PLAY MY GUITAR AND THAT"S ALL THAT MATTERS!

 


#4 anabananakins

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 05:47 PM

I'm sorry you feel so upset. It does get better, truly. I've been gluten free 2 years now.
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#5 mommida

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 06:30 PM

You may be the person to develop the best gluten free food ever. Your love of cooking and entertaining does not need to end, just needs to be allergen safe. ;)

Hate to say it, this isn't that bad.
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Michigan

#6 Googles

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 07:49 PM

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I went through this when I was first diagnosed. I was so angry and felt like my body betrayed me. It does take time to adjust. Realize that in getting this diagnosis you go through a period of grief. Anger is one of the parts of grief. You will find foods that you enjoy cooking and like. I thought I would never find anything I ever wanted to eat that wasn't bland. But I have. It takes time to learn how to cook gluten free. Give yourself time to grieve. It is a major loss. Then work on finding things that you can create that you love.
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#7 beebs

 
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Posted 22 May 2012 - 07:53 PM

Yeah, It does get better. I consider myself a total foodie, not just cooking but eating out ALL the time, new cafes and restaurants and never a care in the world. It is hard, and I still have that horrible feeling about it. But it gets better. And now if I stumble on a great cafe etc that has a gluten free menu I just have the best time. You start to appreciate the little things more. You will get back into your cooking and eventually you won't even notice it anymore.
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HLA DQ8, gluten-free since January 2011

#8 tuxedocat

 
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Posted 23 May 2012 - 08:09 AM

I hear you. i am very much a foodie and much of my social life revolved around eating out, as I don't have the resources to entertain and I'm too far for anyone to drive. Most of my friends live 40 miles away, so we have to meet midway which means - meeting at restaurants.

The good news is that it's easier if you DO like to cook, than if you don't. It's even easier if you like to experiment in the kitchen. I transitioned away from bread and pasta being any kind of meal centerpiece a long time ago, and pretty much can make and enjoy anything I want to eat in my own kitchen. It's eating out that is the big suck because it makes it so hard to travel or socialize.
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2007 - dx'd with Graves' Disease
Suspected DH (no biopsy)
Tested negative for celiac (after gluten free two months)

2012 - Gluten free again after suggestion it might help my thyroid symptoms. Many strange one-off symptoms cleared up. Brain fog gone.

#9 Victoria6102

 
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Posted 23 May 2012 - 08:58 AM

I know how you feel. I've adjusted to where most of the time I'm pretty positive about my diet. But every so often I'll get a week where I feel so angry and upset, missing how life used to be, feeling like I want to just curl up in a ball and cry. basically, I have a pity party. And after all I've been through in my short life, I think once in awhile I deserve to feel a little bad for myself , don't you?
I know people say "well you could be worse off, like having cancer or sickle cell anemia" well I'm very thankful to not have those things. But not comparing celiac to any other disease, just how bad it is in itself, it's a pretty awful disease. Some people it effects in worse ways than others. Sure, maybe I don't have cancer, but I've spent the last 7 years of my life feeling like I could throw up at any second, chowing down saltines to try to make myself feel better, when in reality saltines were the very thing making it worse. The last few years have been complete misery. Then you finally get an answer to why you're feeling so bad...and they tell you have to give up a HUGE food group and can never eat it again unless you want to damage yourself. And it's not just giving up gluten that's so hard. It's dealing with all the idiots out there who have no clue about Celiac or gluten and make your life miserable because now you're not "normal". It's all the time you have to spend researching to make sure you don't get sick. It's the thought that there's no hope for a cure, for you to ever get rid of celiac, atleast not in this generation. And the thought that no matter what you did you couldn't have stopped yourself from having it, and that no matter what you do, you will always have Celiac.

Sorry didn't mean to be negative....but all that to say, I know how you feel. I know it is tough and I KNOW it does NOT seem fair. But it WILL become easier and you will start to feel less and less upset about it. Like me, maybe you'll have a time every once in awhile where you feel upset again. But those times will become fewer and fewer . It will get better!
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#10 Trudyjerry

 
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Posted 24 May 2012 - 04:57 PM

Thank you all for your kind responses. I truly do appreciate them. Yes, I guess I am wallowing in self-pity a bit, which sets me off yet again because all I can have is a freezer pop and what I really want is a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

I'm sure this will get better but I'm just not seeing how right now.

Thank you all again. At least all of you understand because my friends and family certainly don't.
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#11 kareng

 
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Posted 24 May 2012 - 06:00 PM

Thank you all for your kind responses. I truly do appreciate them. Yes, I guess I am wallowing in self-pity a bit, which sets me off yet again because all I can have is a freezer pop and what I really want is a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

I'm sure this will get better but I'm just not seeing how right now.

Thank you all again. At least all of you understand because my friends and family certainly don't.


Hey! Try these coconut milk ice creams. So yummy! And I can eat real cow juice ice cream but we still get these.

http://www.turtlemountain.com/products
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#12 tuxedocat

 
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Posted 24 May 2012 - 07:38 PM

Hey! Try these coconut milk ice creams. So yummy! And I can eat real cow juice ice cream but we still get these.

http://www.turtlemountain.com/products


I don't to my knowledge have any issue with dairy and yet I eat coconut milk ice cream because it is SOOOOO good!!!!! ZOMG

I especially love Larry & Luna's Coconut Bliss.
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2007 - dx'd with Graves' Disease
Suspected DH (no biopsy)
Tested negative for celiac (after gluten free two months)

2012 - Gluten free again after suggestion it might help my thyroid symptoms. Many strange one-off symptoms cleared up. Brain fog gone.

#13 Fairy Dancer

 
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Posted 25 May 2012 - 06:43 AM

Sounds daft but I dance rather than eat most of the time when I am pissed off. I find the movement very relaxing and invigorating at the same time. If I do need to tuck into something nice to eat, being paleo, I go for a piece of one of my favourite meats and some nice vegetables. I like snacking on king prawns at those times too.

It does get easier but then again I do the paleo diet which fascinates me right now, meaning I kind of enjoy it, so I guess I adapted easily to it and don't really miss my old diet at all. Mind I go to extremes as I have also stopped using shampoo and chemicals on my hair (which is starting to restore its natural curl...something that no styling product has ever been able to do and keep it that way) and I also grew my armpit hair back as I wanted to see what it felt like to be a bit more natural.

I kind of like it. Although people don't have to go that far obviously lol.

I don't eat any dairy, legumes, grains or processed foods. My fluid intake consists of mostly mineral water with the occasional cup of black unsweetened coffee. I don't consume processed sugars or any kind of artificial sweetener. I basically keep my diet clean...uber clean but there are plenty of foods to chow down on: Meats, fish, poultry, nuts, vegetables, small amounts of fruits...

Nature provided many great foods! I like to tuck in.
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#14 farmer jennings

 
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Posted 25 May 2012 - 09:50 AM

I feel for you. It will get easier as time goes by. If you can just get the whole family on a gluten-free diet it will be easier for you.
Start with pasta and sauces. With both of these and veggies alone you can make numerous meals from lasagna to spagetti. Yes you can use chicken in spagetti if you cant tollerate beef, you can leave it out and just add in more veggies too. You will master this fast, then move on to soups and before you know it you will be having fun creating . As for ice cream..I now am lactose intollerant and even with the lactase pills from costco I cant have it. But Breyers vanilla was ooooohhhh so goodwhen I could have it and gluten-free!
For cheese I use lamb chopper. Goat taste too much like barnyard. I know that if I buy a whole 10-lb cheese roll from our Whole foods Market I get 10% off the whole roll.So I save up and buy it when I can. I am trying my hand at making ice cream with coconut milk, its not as creamy but quite good.
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#15 love2travel

 
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Posted 25 May 2012 - 10:01 AM

I'm in the middle of a total melt-down. This is some sort of a cruel, cruel joke. I enjoy food. I love cooking. I absolutely love feeding other people. I'm very creative in the kitchen. The colors and flavor combinations and textures were my pleasures in the kitchen. These days I can't stand being in my kitchen.

Take the gluten sensitivity, throw in a dairy allergy, add a sprinkle of apricot allergy, a splash of off limits passion fruit juice, mix it all together and top it with a possible soy intolerance and you've got me.

I've been gluten free almost four months now and I'm still angry and feeling very much betrayed by my own body. Please tell me that this does eventually get easier, that I will be able to enjoy spending time in my kitchen again. It's not that I haven't been enjoying cooking gluten and dairy free but I want my old life back. I've had to turn my life upside down. I've turned my kids' lives upside down. I've turned my husband's live upside down and none of it is fair.

All I want to do is stomp my foot like a three year old. I want to throw a temper tantrum.

Life plays cruel, cruel jokes on you...

Believe me, I know exactly where you are coming from. I was there myself when I was diagnosed a year ago. The first few months were very sad, especially when I made bread and so on. And I am the biggest food person there is - I dream of it. Think of it constantly. Write recipes while awake and asleep. Heck - I teach cooking classes and am a professional recipe tester! My husband and I have traveled to Europe to food festivals. You should see my extensive culinary library of nearly 500 books.

Anyway, one day you will wake up and realize that it truly can be worked around. You can be even more creative than ever before. Experiment with new grains and ingredients and flours. I have about 20 kinds of flour in my freezer to play with. Now all the cooking/baking classes I teach are gluten free. It was pathetically sad to begin with but now it truly is ok. Travel still is the hardest for me. We just came back from Croatia and Italy and sometimes it was a challenge.

So, get back in your kitchen and re-think things. Be inspired and create amazing dishes that are naturally gluten free. Pull out that appliance that you haven't used for awhile.

You know, it really can be done. Head on over to our What's for Dinner thread and see the yummy things we create! Do not ever settle for second best. Do not bother eating out at chains. You deserve to cook the best you possibly can and eat as good or better than those who eat gluten. Please believe me - I have been there and have succeeded!! And I did not even get sick when glutened so I did not have that extra motivation to keep me on track. But I have. And so can you. You WILL do this! :D
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<p>Confirmed celiac disease February 2011 from biopsies. Strictly gluten free March 18 2011.Diagnosed with fibromyalgia April 13 2011.3 herniated discs, myofascial pain syndrome, IT band syndrome, 2 rotator cuff injuries - from an accident Dec. 07 - resulting in chronic pain ever since. Degenerative disc disease.Osteoarthritis in back and hips.Chronic insomnia mostly due to chronic pain.Aspartame free May 2011.

When our lives are squeezed by pressure and pain, what comes out is what is inside.




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