I Can't Believe That Just Happened......

[~**caselynn**~]

I've been a Celiac (diagnosed) 2 yrs and haven't ever run into this scenario. A friend wanted to go to lunch, and chose the place with a supposed gluten-free menu that her gluten-free coworker eats at "all the time". The eatery was set up a lot like a subway sandwich shop, was not subway! As we all know, the workers at such places are quite possibly contaminating food left and right without any idea. So when I saw this and told my friend I didn't dare eat there, she was beyond mad and couldn't understand why her coworker eats there and I wouldn't.....she really didn't care to even listen to the reasoning of cross contamination and how some people are less sensitive or braver than others. Never mind the fact that this coworker could just be gluten intolerant and cheat at times?! Seriously??? Flipping seriously?! Ugh, I'm trying to let it go because we've been friends for our whole lives, but where in the H did this irrational thinking person come from?? This is definitely a first for me, So upset

[kareng]

Sorry....This sucks!

 

 

I suppose I could give you advice and strategies...... but ..... you probably know that stuff and this just sucks...

[GottaSki]

yep....sucks.

 

sometimes folks need to just be around your for awhile to "get" it -- sometimes not -- but that is their problem, not yours.

 

good on you for staying safe

[tarnalberry]

I've been a Celiac (diagnosed) 2 yrs and haven't ever run into this scenario. A friend wanted to go to lunch, and chose the place with a supposed gluten-free menu that her gluten-free coworker eats at "all the time". The eatery was set up a lot like a subway sandwich shop, was not subway! As we all know, the workers at such places are quite possibly contaminating food left and right without any idea. So when I saw this and told my friend I didn't dare eat there, she was beyond mad and couldn't understand why her coworker eats there and I wouldn't.....she really didn't care to even listen to the reasoning of cross contamination and how some people are less sensitive or braver than others. Never mind the fact that this coworker could just be gluten intolerant and cheat at times?! Seriously??? Flipping seriously?! Ugh, I'm trying to let it go because we've been friends for our whole lives, but where in the H did this irrational thinking person come from?? This is definitely a first for me, So upset

 

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

In those sorts of situations, I try to emphasize that I am "happy" to stay while the other person gets something to eat, because it's my own choice to not eat the food.  Then, hopefully, they realize that it's stupid to get mad at someone making their own choice on what to eat or not to eat.  (It's also why I always carry food with me.)

[Juliebove]

Yep.  I see this all the time.  I have diabetes.  If I say to someone that I can't eat something because it makes my blood sugar go too high, I often get the retort that their friend or aunt or coworker or whoever eats this thing all the time!  And it could be that those things are fine for those people or they may not be.  There are a lot of clueless people out there.  Diabetics who never or rarely test their blood sugar.  And people with other food issues who never make the connection to the food they've eaten when they get sick.

 

Lots of people don't understand cross contamination either.  They think a little bit won't hurt.  Perhaps because all they are familiar with in terms of diet is a weight loss diet.  They might think...  If I eat that bite of pie, I might not lose weight today.  But there's always tomorrow!  They think this sort of thinking can apply to all diets.  But we here know that it can't.

[Brandiwine]

So sorry Hun, this always hurts worse when it's a " friend". Maybe when you both have a bit of time to clear your mind from raw emotion you can talk and maybe she will be more willing to listen. Maybe reschedule some where you can eat. She may have been upset because she felt robbed of a personal victory, she could have been excited to be able to take you somewhere new that was safe for you and failed. Feeling a little blindsided she probably didn't express herself well. She obviously doesn't understand very much about your needs, hopefully she will be open to learning more. I know it was terrible but try to see her side and hopefully she will try to see yours. Maybe if you let her know that you see her effort and appreciate it, but you are very sensitive.

You probably know how to better deal with your friend than I do just, trying to give an outsiders prospective.

Good Luck

[cap6]

That sucks!!!   Those that are gluten intolerant  and cheat can really make it hard on those that are Celiac!!!

[notme]

surprising that she knows you have already been doing this for TWO YEARS - time enough to get used to the idea that you have to be very careful where you eat.  if she was that close of a friend, she has seen your health improve as well, so your 'picky' eating is necessary!  sorry, kiddo, that sucks that's why i have, like, one friend lolz she better not screw it up   

[~**caselynn**~]

surprising that she knows you have already been doing this for TWO YEARS - time enough to get used to the idea that you have to be very careful where you eat. if she was that close of a friend, she has seen your health improve as well, so your 'picky' eating is necessary! sorry, kiddo, that sucks that's why i have, like, one friend lolz she better not screw it up

Haha! Yup my friends have dwindled over the years but that's fine with me, this one has never reacted this way. We were able to get passed it and go to a great place later in the week for lobstah, but my oh my that threw me.....

And thank you all for your kind words and suggestions! As you've guessed, I tried all those things, sometimes it's a give and take. I've decided I can chalk it up to lack of knowledge, and a bad day. Next time, I will do my own research as I usually would.

[karichelle]

That sucks!!!   Those that are gluten intolerant  and cheat can really make it hard on those that are Celiac!!!

 

This also makes it difficult for those who are intolerant or not formally diaganosed and choose to eat as if they were celiac -- no cheating, avoiding CC, etc. It becomes an issue of "Well, so-and-so eats just a little bit on occasion, so surely it'll be okay for your too." I know my body well enough now to know that it is not okay for me.

 

I don't understand why people get so angry or offended over someone else's food choices, be it gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, whatever.

[w8in4dave]

I think thats what happened!! I bet your friends co-worker in just intolerant. I am starting to believe I am just intolerant also ... I don't think your friend should of gotten so angry with you about it tho. Glad you were able to patch things up!!  

[Brandiwine]

This also makes it difficult for those who are intolerant or not formally diaganosed and choose to eat as if they were celiac -- no cheating, avoiding CC, etc. It becomes an issue of "Well, so-and-so eats just a little bit on occasion, so surely it'll be okay for your too." I know my body well enough now to know that it is not okay for me.

I don't understand why people get so angry or offended over someone else's food choices, be it gluten free, vegan, vegetarian, whatever.

Thank you!!!! I feel like a broken record with that sentence! It really shouldn't matter to anyone but the person prosuing the diet!!!

[Adalaide]

I think thats what happened!! I bet your friends co-worker in just intolerant. I am starting to believe I am just intolerant also ... I don't think your friend should of gotten so angry with you about it tho. Glad you were able to patch things up!!  

 

I actually think the problem with the co-worker is that they are a piss-poor advocate for their own health and the gluten free community as a whole.

 

Distinguishing between people with celiac and NCGS in terms of diet, compliance, and how they eat is not only unproductive but destructive to our community. There are many here who are diagnosed NCGS who were every bit as sick as some of us who are "gold standard" biopsy diagnosed celiacs. Many more simply could not withstand a challenge and got a NCGS diagnosis while they may very well have celiac. Many of these in both categories get every bit as sick as someone with celiac from the most miniscule amount of CC.

 

Let us refrain from dividing the community and recognize this for what it is. An uneducated person, fad dieter, or moron eating where they shouldn't.

[pricklypear1971]

I actually think the problem with the co-worker is that they are a piss-poor advocate for their own health and the gluten free community as a whole.

Distinguishing between people with celiac and NCGS in terms of diet, compliance, and how they eat is not only unproductive but destructive to our community. There are many here who are diagnosed NCGS who were every bit as sick as some of us who are "gold standard" biopsy diagnosed celiacs. Many more simply could not withstand a challenge and got a NCGS diagnosis while they may very well have celiac. Many of these in both categories get every bit as sick as someone with celiac from the most miniscule amount of CC.

Let us refrain from dividing the community and recognize this for what it is. An uneducated person, fad dieter, or moron eating where they shouldn't.

Or someone that doesn't have obvious reactions and can't tell they've gotten into gluten. In the beginning I couldn't....took a while to figure it out.

But I did know how to recognize a risky situation if I saw it (like Subway). Kitchens where I can't see what's happening require a leap of faith.

[eers03]

I'd be upset too.  Your friend is not a gluten expert and risks that might be acceptable to her friend don't have to be acceptable to you.  These moments are frustrating.  

[gatita]

I'd be seriously upset. I'm NCGI, but NO WAY can I eat in a CC place. My good friends know this, and I'd be angry if they didn't listen to me about it.

 

Awhile ago, I downloaded a pamphlet about celiac for family and friends that I gave to my fiance so he'd get it. He does.

 

Maybe that would be a good thing to give to people who won't listen.

[Gemini]

Haha! Yup my friends have dwindled over the years but that's fine with me, this one has never reacted this way. We were able to get passed it and go to a great place later in the week for lobstah, but my oh my that threw me.....

And thank you all for your kind words and suggestions! As you've guessed, I tried all those things, sometimes it's a give and take. I've decided I can chalk it up to lack of knowledge, and a bad day. Next time, I will do my own research as I usually would.

I'm thinking there is a New Englandah in there because you pronounced it "lobstah"!   

[IrishHeart]

I'm thinking there is a New Englandah in there because you pronounced it "lobstah"!   

 

we always know anuthah noo Englandah.....and  if I recall, caselynn...is in Maine?? yes??!!!

 

and now, suddenly...I want lobstah....

[~**caselynn**~]

we always know anuthah noo Englandah.....and  if I recall, caselynn...is in Maine?? yes??!!!

 

and now, suddenly...I want lobstah....

Haha! A New Englandah I am! In fact, I'm a Mainah! A northern Mainer though lol where we speak more of a French accent, eh? but that accent isn't as fun when you're saying lobstah! ....makes me want lobstah too, mmmmm

You all are very right, it would be awesome if as a whole, the gluten-free community could move forward and educate others. As we all know, for every one of us that is spreading the news about gluten-free and cc, there's always going to be one who is non compliant, non symptomatic or just not well versed in their disease. Perhaps we can try and get more info out there, it certainly can't hurt!

PS: if you're a New Englandah and in the Portland area, you MUST go to Bam Bam Bakery!! (I don't work for them just love 'em!) Commercial St downtown P-town, dedicated gluten-free bakery and cater to other allergens as well!! Breakfast, lunch, dessert, catering, wedding cakes, etc. cinnamon roll for breakfast before my 4 hour drive north was just what the doctor ordered.......okay, he didn't order for me but he did tell me to check it out!! Thank you Dr. Stefan!!!!

[powerofpositivethinking]

any chance you can put a link to that pamphlet please?

 

 

I'd be seriously upset. I'm NCGI, but NO WAY can I eat in a CC place. My good friends know this, and I'd be angry if they didn't listen to me about it.

 

Awhile ago, I downloaded a pamphlet about celiac for family and friends that I gave to my fiance so he'd get it. He does.

 

Maybe that would be a good thing to give to people who won't listen.