So Pissed

[Googles]

I am so pissed off. So I am at my brother's house for Christmas. I brought a little food and a two pots and a griddle to be able to cook while I'm here and a wooden spoon and a spatula. They know I'm gluten free because  of celiac. They didn't ask me anything about what I needed, and the last time I visited them (2 years ago- for 3 days their  wedding) I brought all the food I needed for my trip. So me bringing what I need to eat is nothing new to them. This time I'm supposed to be here from Sunday to Friday. So i get here and bring my stuff in. I took my bag (everhthing not food and cooking stuff) to the room they had for me. I asked where I could put my food and my brother said in the cabinet. The griddle didn't fit in the cabinet so I asked if there was somewhere I could put it. His reply was "If you need to bring all that sh*t you can keep it in your room." He said he didn't want it making his kitchen messy. He kept a clean house and my griddle would ruin that. And now I'm being told that it is unreasonable for me to be upset that he called my stuff "sh*t". Apparently my stuff is so awful. I am so pissed. I regret even coming. It would have been so much easier just to stay at home.

[mamaw]

Yep,  it  sounds  a lot  like  my family.....Not that  this is  the  correct  answer  for  everyone  but  I just  don't  ever  go  back... Their  loss  not  mine... When I go  to  someone else's house  I  always  take  gluten-free  food  for  everyone &  share  plus  I make  gluten-free  things  they  love....you  have  every  right  to be  angry....remember  he too  along  life's  journey  may  develop celiac   after all he  is  your  brother.... what  goes  around  comes  around....

I  would  leave   & tell  him to kiss-off....no  one needs

  family or friends  like  that.....

Your  welcome  at  our  house  & you don't  need to bring  a  thing!!!!

[Adalaide]

I'd be pissed off too. It's Christmas and that isn't the attitude I'd want to be greeted with. I'd say so, pack my "s$#&" back in the car and leave in the morning. No one needs to be treated that way. There is no reason you can't be somewhere else for Christmas.

[GFinDC]

Hmm, the Christmas movies I remember the family always gets in some kind of big kerfluffle at the beginning and then they make up and hug and sing Christmas carols at the end.  Sometimes they even open presents and stuff, and let the kids come in out of the snow long enuff to eat.  Maybe your brother has watched too many Christmas movies and thinks that's how you are supposed to do Christmas.

[ravenwoodglass]

Well at least you won't have to worry about someone grabbing one of your dedicated gluten-free supplies and contaminating them. Life is too short to let stuff like this ruin your holiday with your family.  Now is the time to be thankful for the loved ones you have. Warts and all. Try not to let this ruin  your festivities.

[powerofpositivethinking]

googles, I'm sorry you're brother is being so inconsiderate    You have every right to be upset!  I totally agree with mamaw...what goes around comes around.  Anytime I get upset I think of Justin Timberlake's song "What Goes Around...Comes Around."  Always helps to make me feel a bit better.  I have a hard time with my parents getting things, and you share genes with your brother, so maybe the way he's talking to you is because of fear that he has the potential to get celiac too.  Is that any excuse for his behavior...no!!  I hope today is better for you    If it doesn't get better, don't feel obligated to stay until Friday, but I'd definitely stay for Christmas Day.  Sending good vibes!

[NoGlutenCooties]

Sounds like the typical stress of the holidays.  Unfortunately (at least at times it will seem unfortunate) you can't pick your family.  But they're your family.  I wouldn't take it personally that he called your things "sh*t" - he could have just as well as said "stuff".  I would very calmly simply say, "remember this when you or one of your kids develops Celiac" - and put your griddle in your room.  I hope the week gets better and you're able to enjoy Christmas.

[GF Lover]

Don't fret about it too much.  I just got back from a trip and kept my toaster, food etc. in the room with my things.  I didn't want them getting contaminated anyway.   Try to enjoy your Christmas and don't sweat the small stuff.

 

Happy Holidays,

 

Colleen

[eers03]

I hope you cook up the BEST food ever with your "stuff".  Have yourself a great time and when his nose starts snooping around your cooking tell him to eat "stuff".

[Googles]

Thanks everyone. My family has a long history of being verbally/emotionally abusive towards me. So it just continues the family pastime.

[Adalaide]

Thanks everyone. My family has a long history of being verbally/emotionally abusive towards me. So it just continues the family pastime.

 

Lovely. I put up with a husband like that for many years. Eventually I realized I was more than his emotional punching bag. No one should be that, not for a spouse, a parent, a sibling, no one. I now twice as firmly believe I gave good advice the first time. I can't imagine why you are on speaking terms with him and frankly don't recommend at the very least ever attempting putting your health at risk by attempting to visit with abusive people in the future.

[Gemini]

Thanks everyone. My family has a long history of being verbally/emotionally abusive towards me. So it just continues the family pastime.

I think Addy is spot on with her response.  No one should put up with that type of behavior.....I mean, he came out and insulted you to your face.  Staying, in my mind, is just being an enabler. I would not yell back or be anything but calm BUT I would leave and spend Christmas with those you really enjoy being around and who treat you with the respect you deserve. 

 

My sisters can be very passive aggressive with me and I have gotten some extent of a lack of respect from family also...and these idiots also have a problem with gluten they refuse to see.  I do not spend that much time with family and it doesn't bother me anymore.  My friends treat me with respect as far as Celiac goes so they get my company.

Remember, if you allow them to treat you this way and do nothing about it, then you cannot complain. I know it's hard to discipline family but it can do wonders for your self respect!     Family can suck so bad, at times......