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First Party Bringing My Own Food

FruitEnthusiast

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FruitEnthusiast Enthusiast
FruitEnthusiast
Posted

Today was the first party I've been to bringing my own food, and the first party I've been to in 3 years - that's how long it's taken for me to feel well enough to go to a social event since my food intolerances began - quite a milestone!!! I've been seeing a new Nutritionist who has helped me get there. I'm going to post more info about that in another topic.

 

Now I understand what all of you were talking about when you shared your party stories. The host, my friend (who knows about my food limitations) couldn't seem to understand when I turned down everything she offered me. She was even surprised when I didn't want a piece of her homemade cake that had several things in it that I don't eat - gluten/grains, dairy, eggs, sugar, etc. She seemed hurt that I couldn't enjoy something special she had made, it was hard to disappoint her.

 

She was uncomfortable seeing me not eating or drinking anything, so I took out the water and food I brought. Then people were upset that I was eating out of plastic baggies. It didn't bother me. I was surprised that everyone was so concerned, I'm so used eating with no frills.

 

Next time I'll bring my food in containers or put it on a plate before I eat it, so the others will feel more convinced that I'm enjoying myself :) Or if anyone has suggestions on how I can blend in better next time, and not stand out so much, I'd love to hear them.

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celiac sharon Apprentice
celiac sharon
Posted

Some of takes time and education for your friends. Friends who are worth, will learn to get it When we have work parties there are efforts by my friends to include safe foods. I always bring my own safe contribution. Everyone is used to me reading every label so they will actually save labels for me. They also let me fill my plate first to avoid my risk of cross contamination, then I just don't have seconds. It takes time, but good friends will accomadate

gilligan Enthusiast
gilligan
Posted

I don't know what I do differently, but I just have not had that problem (yet).  If your friend is hurt, maybe you should ask her why she's so concerned about what you do/do not eat.  Friendship isn't based on food choices.  I have been passed over for lunch and coffee outings.  When I found out that a couple of friends wanted to meet me at the theatre instead of picking me up because they were going to have lunch first, I'll admit I was upset.  I had to tell them that I didn't want to go if I was not invited to lunch with them like in the "old days".  

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

Does she know why you're gluten free? My friends are usually not offended, because I make it clear that staying gluten free is a matter of life and death for me--it's not a fad diet.

nvsmom Community Regular
nvsmom
Posted

I find it helpful to remind people that I'm at the party for the people and the fun, and not the food.  People usually can appreciate that.

 

I too usually bring extra food, and more than what most would bring.  My youngest son did a play last week and they had a potluck after.  He's 7 and doesn't like to feel left out.  Most people brought one dish but I brought strawberries, brownies, cookies, crackers and cheese dip (all gluten-free).  That way he could have options.... I think only one person commented on it and I just told them that we eat food that isn't the norm so I brought extra.  No problems at all.  :)

 

Glad you had fun at the party and stayed safe.  :)

julissa Explorer
julissa
Posted

I am glad to hear you were able to make the move to go and bring your food.

 

it's a complete mystery to me why anyone would care at all what you are eating. I go everywhere and bring my own food. why should anyone have anything to say?   to me, it's their problem. I go to people's houses, restaurants etc, and ask no permission or apology. 

FruitEnthusiast Enthusiast
FruitEnthusiast
Posted
  • Author

I don't think I explained this quite right. My friend wasn't giving me a hard time, she just felt bad for me because I couldn't enjoy the things others could. It was my first time at her house and a very small gathering, mostly just her family. They were all so nice and wanted to make sure I was having a good time.

 

My family knows about my restrictions and they don't make a big deal about it, but I think some of them feel uncomfortable eating things in front of me that I don't eat. I just try to keep it as light as possible and let people know it's no biggie, I'm just happy to feel good.

 

I think it's just awkward for me when it seems like people are feeling sorry for me and wish I could skip the conversation about food altogether and just blend in like everyone else.

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notme Experienced
notme
Posted

it cracks me up, anymore, when people feel sorry for me because i'm so 'deprived' lolz - the last party i went to i brought oysters bienville (mardi gras) people were amazed they were gluten free - i told them don't cry for me, peoples.  i'm not living on baloney sandwiches, trust me ;)  

 

then, there is my husband, who buys mcd's filet o fish (two of them!  jerk!) and eats them very joyously in front of me, lip smacking and all..... <_<   LOLZ i guess we are beyond it...  :P  ^_^

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

What I usually do is make up some food for the party and put it in a glass pyrex portables dish. If it's hot, I can keep it hot in a thermos. 

FruitEnthusiast Enthusiast
FruitEnthusiast
Posted
  • Author

Next time someone gives me that look of pity I'm going to say, I like to eat healthy because it makes me feel great, like I'm in my twenties again.

 

I don't think I'm going to say anything at all about what I "can't" have. I'm going to make my food choices all about being healthy as if I have decided to eat that way by choice. I'm going to turn it into a positive.

 

I will say I eat Paleo, bring some fun containers, utensils and yummy things to eat, like organic raspberries. I won't be the one to feel sorry for, but the one to be inspired by!!!! Yes!

julissa Explorer
julissa
Posted

glad to hear they weren't giving you a hard time.. yes, that pity can be quite annoying. I hear you loud and clear 

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

I like the way you think....organic raspberries are definitely a treat! :)

FruitEnthusiast Enthusiast
FruitEnthusiast
Posted
  • Author

Thanks guys, good to know I'm not alone!

MomBTired Newbie
MomBTired
Posted

We kind of went through something like this. My son's best friend got married and she was upset he wouldn't be able to have wedding cake. I mean, it was stressing out the bride. I told her I would go get him a cupcake to bring. Then life was all good :)  As far as his parties go, he's 19 so at the moment he just brings snacks they all can eat. Most Frito Lay is gluten free so he pretty much goes everywhere with a bag of Ranch Doritos

cap6 Enthusiast
cap6
Posted

Those first few times of bringing your own food are almost more uncomfortable for others than for us! I have been doing it for so long that now our friends just ask if I need to warm anything up. I usually take my stuff, plate it (so I look like everyone else) and maybe warm it in their micro. And like a couple of others said I always remind people that I am there to enjoy them!

BlessedMommy Rising Star
BlessedMommy
Posted

I went out with my homeschool co-op friends to a restaurant the other day. I ordered a glass of juice, then pulled a bunch of grapes and a banana out of my purse. They thought that it was cool that I had goodies in my purse! People just get used to it after awhile.

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