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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

We must transfer them up to my MIL's neck of the woods, remote and thousands of kilometres away -- Whitehorse, in the Yukon. Mountains, rivers, barren moors and bloody freezing a lot o' the year.. . . . ....perfect, don'cha think? ;)

Then they can all come with MIL to visit you! Trailers full of junk. People who know more than you on any subject. Gluteny crumbs spread throughout you house. People who won't talk to you unless they need you to do something for them.

Too close for my liking.

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GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

I am freaking out!!! So I got busy packing more things up today. When I finally took a break and checked my cell phone I had 10 missed calls and 4 voice messages from my husband. He even tried sending me a facebook message--which is really funny because he never uses fb! He's at work and the IL's called to say they are on the way!

:blink::o<_<:ph34r::unsure::angry::( <--- seriously all these emotions are going through me right now!

I've got a plan now though. I've kicked it into high gear packing as many boxes as I can. Even if something doesn't NEED a box I'm packign it up and sealing up the box to cover the floor with packed boxes. Our place is already so crazy that we have to walk through this little tunnel of boxes to get on to the kitchen. I'm now piling things in front of the couch so there is no place to even sit let alone lay down. And since I have a bad back I won't be lifting these "heavy" boxes out of the way. They will get here, come in see there is no place to even sit down and go to a hotel, right? Please tell me this will work! They CAN'T stay here! I'm in panic mode.

My other possible avoidance plan is to suddenly need to go to the store about the time when I think they will get here. I can find lots of ways to waste time so when they arrive and try to call me I can calmly tell them to just go to their hotel (as if I think they have already booked one) and we will meet for dinner when hubby gets off work. Hubby works in a building with high security so they can't get to him unless he lets them in. I just hope they don't trick him. As soon as he steps outside his work building he's a gonner I'm afraid. They might even be able to steal the keys from him! Help! If any of you are the praying type please pray for a flat tire or road construction or heavy traffic or something! Anything to delay them gettign here today!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

CLose the blinds & don't answer the door. You don't have to flee your house. Put boxes everywhere, even if they are empty.

Let hubby go to dinner with them. You are too busy getting packed.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

CLose the blinds & don't answer the door. You don't have to flee your house. Put boxes everywhere, even if they are empty.

Let hubby go to dinner with them. You are too busy getting packed.

They will pound on the door until the neighbors call the police I'm afraid! The neighbors are a bunch of older people that like their peace and quiet. We have assigned parking so even if they don't remmember what type of car I drive they will figure out I'm home. I may just have to let hubby meet them. Or maybe I will tell them (on the phone), "you must be so tired from driving all that way. Why don't you relax in your hotel room, get some dinner and we'll meet you somewhere tommorrow." I have already cooked up the perfect amount of leftovers for my husband and I to eat today and tommorrow so really he doesn't even need to go out with them (but he probably will because he doesn't want to be rude). I'm just so flabbergasted that they have flat out ignored our requests to come at a different time and plan to show up uninvited!!

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Head for Vegas. Have hub call you when it's all over.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

They will pound on the door until the neighbors call the police I'm afraid! The neighbors are a bunch of older people that like their peace and quiet. We have assigned parking so even if they don't remmember what type of car I drive they will figure out I'm home. I may just have to let hubby meet them. Or maybe I will tell them (on the phone), "you must be so tired from driving all that way. Why don't you relax in your hotel room, get some dinner and we'll meet you somewhere tommorrow." I have already cooked up the perfect amount of leftovers for my husband and I to eat today and tommorrow so really he doesn't even need to go out with them (but he probably will because he doesn't want to be rude). I'm just so flabbergasted that they have flat out ignored our requests to come at a different time and plan to show up uninvited!!

So...let them call the police. There is no law that you have to answer the door. Move your car or go to Starbucks or the park, get a lemonade & relax.

I've had people come to the door uninvited. They may figure I'm home. If I don't want to answer the door, I don't.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

Head for Vegas. Have hub call you when it's all over.

YES! Who wants to meet me there? I really did tell hubby that if they don't stay in a hotel I'M moving into one. :lol:

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GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

So...let them call the police. There is no law that you have to answer the door. Move your car or go to Starbucks or the park, get a lemonade & relax.

I've had people come to the door uninvited. They may figure I'm home. If I don't want to answer the door, I don't.

Well I just got the latest on where they are. I did some figuring and I don't think they will be here until 7 or 8 at night. So my new plan is to just leave all the lights off and pretend to be asleep. All these boxes are bothering my allergies and I will need to take some Benedryl. I can sleep through pretty much anything when I take a couple benedryl. :D

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Well I just got the latest on where they are. I did some figuring and I don't think they will be here until 7 or 8 at night. So my new plan is to just leave all the lights off and pretend to be asleep. All these boxes are bothering my allergies and I will need to take some Benedryl. I can sleep through pretty much anything when I take a couple benedryl. :D

Hub can tell them you aren't feeling well. He can meet them if he wants or tell them he has to get some stuff done quietly while you sleep. Maybe some stuff from his job since he has to take a day off & they are terribly busy right now?

Vegas is sooo hot right now. Is there somewhere else we could meet? Maybe Jess's house? WE could commune with the chickens.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Vegas is sooo hot right now. Is there somewhere else we could meet? Maybe Jess's house? WE could commune with the chickens.

ooohh yes! 60F here. Overcast today, but tomorrow should be nice. Can you stay for the weekend? Bring strwberries, the wee chickies love them.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I am "writing" low sodium recipes for my folks. I thought I could say put this spice mix on the chicken & cook in the crockpot. Then I remembered who I was talking to - mainly my Dad who can barely heat water in a teapot. So here is an example:

Crockpot Chicken

Spray with Pam the inside of the crockpot. Put about

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I'd be careful with the timing since different crocks might cook differently. Also depends on how full it is. I'd go for overcooking rather than under. Maybe say: start crockpot at noon, will be done by 6 (adjust time for whenever they normally eat).

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I'd be careful with the timing since different crocks might cook differently. Also depends on how full it is. I'd go for overcooking rather than under. Maybe say: start crockpot at noon, will be done by 6 (adjust time for whenever they normally eat).

They were cooked in 3 hours in mine. Just 1 or 2 pounds. Single layer. No bones.

I have been checking items at the store for sodium. The sad thing is, I'll do all this & they will make things about once then stop until the next time she swells up. They stopped doing some things they were told to do by the cardiologist, last time, because the GP didn't think to tell them to keep it up. :o

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I know. My mom has selective hearing/memory as well. "They never told me I should do OT after my heart surgery." "My doctor never said that smoking caused all my heart problems. It's genetic."

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

I am "writing" low sodium recipes for my folks. I thought I could say put this spice mix on the chicken & cook in the crockpot. Then I remembered who I was talking to - mainly my Dad who can barely heat water in a teapot. So here is an example:

Crockpot Chicken

Spray with Pam the inside of the crockpot. Put about

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Sounds good. But I would not add water. Usually there is enough juice in the chicken itself that it doesn't need water. If they add some potatoes and baby carrots under the chicken then the chicken stays out of the liquid, doesn't stick to the crock and cooks nicely. Onions, celery and garlic are good veggies for adding flavor too but would require some cutting. With potatoes and baby carrots they can just rinse them and put them in the pot. And even if they don't rinse them no big deal. The juices from the chicken will flavor the carrots and potatoes too so they don't need salt.

This is just a way to make some chicken they can use for salad or sandwiches. The Litehouse mix is freezedried herbs only. Celery is full of sodium.

I refuse to do all the cooking or shopping for them. I have to be careful or that could happen.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

This is just a way to make some chicken they can use for salad or sandwiches. The Litehouse mix is freezedried herbs only. Celery is full of sodium.

I refuse to do all the cooking or shopping for them. I have to be careful or that could happen.

Really? I had no idea about the celery. Sorry!

Well my hubby called and told me to book a hotel. I found one and booked it for them for tonight. Hubby will call them and give them directions to the hotel as if they had planned on staying in one all along. He has spoken to them a few times and they seemed pretty intent on camping out on our floor tonight. He's past the point of worrying about being rude to them about it now. They are going to a hotel whether they like it or not. THEY are the ones that decided to come uninvited so we are not being rude. I just have to keep telling myself this because normally I'm the type of person that would bend over backwards to accomodate guests. We will meet them but I won't be eating with them tonight. I just can't risk getting sick on moving weekend. When we moved last time I was undignosed and bed-bound with pain. I was so sick, Hubby did it ALL. This time I'm well and I'm determined to stay that way! I won't be sabotaged!

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Really? I had no idea about the celery. Sorry!

Well my hubby called and told me to book a hotel. I found one and booked it for them for tonight. Hubby will call them and give them directions to the hotel as if they had planned on staying in one all along. He has spoken to them a few times and they seemed pretty intent on camping out on our floor tonight. He's past the point of worrying about being rude to them about it now. They are going to a hotel whether they like it or not. THEY are the ones that decided to come uninvited so we are not being rude. I just have to keep telling myself this because normally I'm the type of person that would bend over backwards to accomodate guests. We will meet them but I won't be eating with them tonight. I just can't risk getting sick on moving weekend. When we moved last time I was undignosed and bed-bound with pain. I was so sick, Hubby did it ALL. This time I'm well and I'm determined to stay that way! I won't be sabotaged!

Its not rude to put them in a hotel. We expect a full report.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

I'm headed to Jess' . . . currently 100 here . . . was still in the 90's last night at 9pm. Jess, I'll sleep anywhere. Just give me a civkrb to coudle with.

GFM, good luck with the move . . . and the IL's.

I'd help move, but my back is still out . . . went out on vacation. I think I musta left it in North Carolina. Where's Suzzle and her muskle relaxants when you need her/them?

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Its not rude to put them in a hotel. We expect a full report.

With embellishments, as needed.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I'm headed to Jess' . . . currently 100 here . . . was still in the 90's last night at 9pm. Jess, I'll sleep anywhere. Just give me a civkrb to coudle with.

I'll order some of Open Original Shared Link

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

:lol: Thanks Jess.

Kinda pricey . . . but hey!! There's free shipping!!

So do chickens even care that they are wearing a diaper?

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

Weather report: At 5 pm (45 minutes ago) the temperature at Toronto International Airport was 100F. The all-time record high, since the airport opened in 1937, is 101F on August 25, 1948.

I'd gladly go to Vegas, though. The casinos are air conditioned and the bars never close. :ph34r:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I suppose you can get used to anything.....

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Weather report: At 5 pm (45 minutes ago) the temperature at Toronto International Airport was 100F. The all-time record high, since the airport opened in 1937, is 101F on August 25, 1948.

Holy crap! Canada is supposed to be cold all the time, being the great WHITE NORTH and all.

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