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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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Darn210 Enthusiast
Who's in?

Do they have BevMo stores back east?

No just Bevvy Wevvies.


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SquatsWifDingos Newbie
Great idea on the brain share (one & the same and all that)

Wondering how Kissey copes with the lone dingo thoughts whilst shampooing carpets though :huh:

^ funny gurl make squatswifkissy laff out lowd

picture this: just as the carpet is drying out from it's cleaning, dingos rolling around on their backs trying desperately to get the smell back in !

SquatsWifDingos Newbie
DEI-VHID!!!!!!!!!!!!

You MUST agree it's your job to get her past this!!!!!

aye aye Mon Capit

elye Community Regular
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

King Ptaum

WHOOOOAAAAA....I left the thread at approximately just before two to finish the laundry (Patti!), thinking that because there was still about thirteen posts to go until Grand Flipover, I'd have a good shot. Clicked back on at 2:07, and you were at the BOTTOM of page 700! Man, no fair......

ALL HAIL KING THOMAS THE.....

Brave?

Good?

Tank Engine?

Thank you thank you thank you all .. . ...except

To the DUNGEON w/ YOU!!!!!!!!

bwaaa-haaa-haa

Okay...think it's Thomas the Tyrant.... :lol::o

Sir, your royal HIGHness, I am NO knave. I am,without a doubt, a WENCH and you will hereto refer to me as such!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay...Bev's the wench. I'm a perpetual alehouse slattern... <_<:lol:

Great news! A Sarah Sighting!! Come and bow to our new despot Monarch....!

All this talk of our past musical lives....

Now that we are surfacing, I'll admit it: cannot stand Neil Diamond...

Musical loves of my life;

Godley and Creme

Alan Parsons

Peter Gabriel

Kate Bush

...Any of the ratpack, but in particular the greatest singer our world has ever known, Ol' Blue Eyes... :) ....no, not you, Amanda.... :lol:

tom Contributor
I never knew those bands were big in the US!!!!!

When hubby was a teen he was a 'mod with a Lambretta (anyone seen Quadrophenia??)

80s UK ska was HUUUUUUUUUUGE!!

Quadro is an all-time fav of mine (the double album. Don't recall much of the movie). Recently heard 5:15, Love Reign O'er Me (right after Susie spilled the beans on this David bloke btw) <try club soda on that stain>, The Real Me (another NoSoyBoy awakening theme song) etc etc.

In '96 got to see The Who do ENTIRE Quadro album live. Spec-f*****-tacular

And Nikki's guy WAS a MOD!!!!!!

(Nik?? What's w/ the apostrophe? 'Mod? Mod? Huh? :huh: )

What is the difference anyway? Where does one cross the line from a bad cold to the flu.?

I'd guess the puking.

Hopefully she'll come back but I heard she was thinking about retiring and this may be the deciding factor.

Nooooooooo that'd be such a shame what w/ how great she's been on the gluten-free stuff.

And I've been meaning to ask about your boy re: your sig.

5 1/2 mos into gluten-free - any weed-like growth?

Darn210 Enthusiast
...Any of the ratpack, but in particular the greatest singer our world has ever known, Ol' Blue Eyes... :) ....no, not you, Amanda.... :lol:

How do YOU know???? Have you ever heard Amanda sing??

Darn210 Enthusiast
And I've been meaning to ask about your boy re: your sig.

5 1/2 mos into gluten-free - any weed-like growth?

Nahhhh . . . and believe me, he is counting down the days!!! He got glutened on the same day my daughter did (different thread). She spent the rest of the afternoon spitting up with acid reflux. He didn't notice anything. He's got a GI doc appt next week or the week after <reminder to self, check when the dr. appt is> and then he'll be officially done . . . at least for now.


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Green12 Enthusiast
Oh. Fee Waybill of The Tubes kissed ME on the cheek as I was front-and-center, standing on the table, at a small concert here in town when I was young and hot - decades ago. :lol:

Wait, so many things to reply to Susie but this caught me eye, The Tubes? She's A Beauty, The Tubes? Those Tubes?? I loved that song, btw.

And I'm not sure Kissey would be considered a metal head per se, at least that's not the category I would file the concerts he attended into....Foreigner, Loverboy, Journey, Triumph, Eddie Money, Bryan Adams, Night Ranger, The Police, The Fixx, Madness, Oingo Boingo, and The Thompson Twins..........these bands are a little on the fluffy side and much too tame for HELL :lol::lol:

We do!! Do you ever listen to Virgin Classic Rock? It is this awesome channel out of London.

We used to stream it all the time when I worked down in the lab.

Who knows, one day maybe we will catch a concert together, it would be quite the party!

No, but I need to check it out. Isn't that Richard Branson's, or whatever his name is, company? Virgin?

That would be fun to have a Silly concert outing :lol:

Rick Springfield is singing Jessie's Girl on Oprah right now.....

I just watched it, he looked really GOOD :D

Oprah seemed a little smitten too :lol:

im not twisting her arm to go to this musical! so she is either a closet musical lover or... she really does :wub: me !!!! im hoping its me !

I do think it's you Kissey, and true Dingo love.....BUT I also think she has a small amount of closeted love for musicals deep down inside her and you are just the one to force it out of her :lol::lol:

Nope, not the only one. :lol:

:o Donna and Susie.

Why no love for Neile Diamond?!?!?!

I so thought we were kindred spirits :lol:

Now that we are surfacing, I'll admit it: cannot stand Neil Diamond...

:o:o

But he's THE JAZZ SINGER

:lol:

Green12 Enthusiast

A Silly I just got:

For Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

elye Community Regular
But he's THE JAZZ SINGER

NO! NO! A thousand times, NO! He ain't my jazz singer. THE Jazz Singer was Jolson. Period. :)B)

Okay....just an interjection into this fine discussion of musical tastes...it can be ignored, and music talk can continue, but I had an urge to share:

On our way back from Jack's aikido lesson, he suddenly said from the back seat, "Mommy....would you take an offer of a million dollars if in excahnge you had to wear all green clothing, head to toe, for the rest of your life?"

This somehow has kept me occupied cerebrally..... :rolleyes::huh:

Darn210 Enthusiast
On our way back from Jack's aikido lesson, he suddenly said from the back seat, "Mommy....would you take an offer of a million dollars if in excahnge you had to wear all green clothing, head to toe, for the rest of your life?"

This somehow has kept me occupied cerebrally..... :rolleyes::huh:

:lol::lol:

. . . depends on the shade of green.

WardGirl Rookie

All hail to the new king Tom :)

I hope you're not expecting me to kneel in your presence because I can certainly get down it's the getting up that is the hard part :lol:

elye Community Regular
All hail to the new king Tom :)

I hope you're not expecting me to kneel in your presence because I can certainly get down it's the getting up that is the hard part

:lol::lol:

Ah, JacquIe! You're one of the young, limber Sillies! It's 53-year ol' Scooter we have to keep helping up..... :rolleyes::lol:

tom Contributor
:o:o

But he's THE JAZZ SINGER

:o <must . .. ... .show .. . .. . .restraint .. . .. . .>

(There is SUCH a rant going on in me 'ead)

On our way back from Jack's aikido lesson, he suddenly said from the back seat, "Mommy....would you take an offer of a million dollars if in excahnge you had to wear all green clothing, head to toe, for the rest of your life?"

Hilarious!! :lol:

It'd get in the way of my ever being a TV weatherman, but I'd do it!! I like green.

Wait .. . .. .enTIREly green????? Never a touch of another coloUr in a green shirt or whateveh?

(Currently in green Levi's & a sweater w/ some green - that oughta be worth a couple hundred)

The Ripper strikes again!!!!!

jerseyangel Proficient
I hope you're not expecting me to kneel in your presence because I can certainly get down it's the getting up that is the hard part :lol:

Oh JacquIe, ain't it the truth! :D

tom Contributor
Tank Engine?

:lol:

All hail to the new king Tom :)

Thank you, & again thank you all

I hope you're not expecting me to kneel in your presence because I can certainly get down it's the getting up that is the hard part :lol:

Goodness no - no kneeling expected here.

But somewhere in SJ/South Bay there's a special woman who .. .ehhh never mind :P:lol:

Yikes so much posting for me lately. I should probably set up the pc again to speed this up. Maybe have more time to try to be productive & out in the world.

elye Community Regular
:o <must . .. ... .show .. . .. . .restraint .. . .. . .>

(There is SUCH a rant going on in me 'ead)

Oh, Great Emperor! Please unshackle thy restraints, and ranteth!....(I'm just a curious minion...wanna know yer spin on WHO is the REAL Jazz Singer)! :rolleyes:

It'd get in the way of my ever being a TV weatherman, but I'd do it!! I like green.

Wait .. . .. .enTIREly green????? Never a touch of another coloUr in a green shirt or whateveh?

(Currently in green Levi's & a sweater w/ some green - that oughta be worth a couple hundred)

I asked for clarification on these points:

-Only green. NO other coloUrs permitted.

-The clothing would be supplied. (Uh, Jack did not specify by WHOM)...... :huh:

Oh JacquIe, ain't it the truth! :D

Do you guys hear lots of cracking and groaning when you get up from a kneel? ...I think I do.... :ph34r:

jerseyangel Proficient
Do you guys hear lots of cracking and groaning when you get up from a kneel? ...I think I do.... :ph34r:

I have a toe that has been cracking ever since I can remember....my knees also pop a little when I bend down.

~alex~ Explorer
On our way back from Jack's aikido lesson, he suddenly said from the back seat, "Mommy....would you take an offer of a million dollars if in excahnge you had to wear all green clothing, head to toe, for the rest of your life?"

This somehow has kept me occupied cerebrally..... :rolleyes::huh:

Sounds like you've got a budding philosopher on your hands! I don't think I could do it. It is quite perplexing to ponder. It seems ridiculous that I wouldn't do it but I don't know . . . I just don't think I could. Did Jack have a decision on what he would do?

Mtndog Collaborator
Rick Springfield is singing Jessie's Girl on Oprah right now.....

And I missed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <_< He was a cutie patootie!!!!!!!!

Gawd--I've been freezing all day! Hope your son feels better soon--I've had this since last Thursday or so, and don't really feel much better. Mark had it, and it lasted for a solid week.

Oh no Patti- Get lots o' rest. My visiting nurse just got over the p-monia :(

Tina WITH Ike IS quite the coup!!!!

Walter Fagan on Kid C has the sort of vocal inflections that make Elton's singing special.

"I think the peeeeeeople down the hallllllll know who ya ARE!"

**********Proclamation #1!!!!!!!!!!!!************

Tomorrow .. .no .. . .FRIday shall be First Absinthe-Enlightened Royal Inaugural Event!!!!!!! (aka FAERIE ;):lol: )

Who's in?

Do they have BevMo stores back east?

Oh, oh, oh!!!!!!!! I LOVE Steely dan...the Cuervo Gold, the fine Columbian, make tonight a wonderful thing!

No BevMos....just Mo' Bevs!!!!!!!!!!

No just Bevvy Wevvies.

:lol: :lol:

Okay...Bev's the wench. I'm a perpetual alehouse slattern... <_<:lol:

Great news! A Sarah Sighting!! Come and bow to our new despot Monarch....!

Musical loves of my life;

Godley and Creme

Alan Parsons

Peter Gabriel

Kate Bush

Slattern :D :D :D

OMG- I love ALMOST all the music you guys have mentioned. Kate Bush- what a voice! Her songs "Wuthering Heights" and "Woman's Work " leave me teary eyed!

UHM- hallo...I'm tired and trying REALLY hard here :huh::P Did NO ONE notice that my intro to Squatty (aka Kissy) was a parody of Sympathy for the devil and I posted a VERY FUNNY video! HARUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

jerseyangel Proficient
On our way back from Jack's aikido lesson, he suddenly said from the back seat, "Mommy....would you take an offer of a million dollars if in excahnge you had to wear all green clothing, head to toe, for the rest of your life?"

This somehow has kept me occupied cerebrally..... :rolleyes::huh:

What an interesting question...I don't honestly know if I could....of course there are different shades of greren, so there would be some variety there.

Green pants, though.....that might be tough. A million dollars is a lot of money....must ponder some more.

tom Contributor
Did NO ONE notice that my intro to Squatty (aka Kissy) was a parody of Sympathy for the devil and I posted a VERY FUNNY video! HARUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

What???!!

When?

Where??????????

No shot at the vid for me, but I should be ashamed to miss a Stones' Sympathy allusion!!!!!!!

jerseyangel Proficient
UHM- hallo...I'm tired and trying REALLY hard here :huh::P Did NO ONE notice that my intro to Squatty (aka Kissy) was a parody of Sympathy for the devil and I posted a VERY FUNNY video! HARUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

You poor thing :(

I musta missed it :ph34r:

happygirl Collaborator

An official hi (and belated!) to SWD.

(PSSSTT-------We love Susie!!!!!!!!!!!)

Green12 Enthusiast
NO! NO! A thousand times, NO! He ain't my jazz singer. THE Jazz Singer was Jolson. Period. :)B)

:o <must . .. ... .show .. . .. . .restraint .. . .. . .>

Really, no need.

You've put me in my place.

I was referring to The Jazz Singer the movie.

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    • lmemsm
      This may make you feel better about cross-contamination: https://nationalceliac.org/celiac-disease-questions/do-i-need-new-designated-pans-plates-and-utensils/ https://theceliacscene.com/rethinking-cross-contamination-no-need-to-be-so-careful/ I use Tom's of Maine or a toothpaste that states it's gluten free.  I have allergic reactions to some toothpastes so some of the toothpastes in health food stores are usually safer for me. They're typically gluten free as well. Spices can contain cross-contamination from gluten.  There are a few lists online of spices that are safe for celiacs.  I also grow my own herbs and use them in place of store bought when I can.  I think Badia lists their spices as gluten free and Spice Lab has some gluten free too. Knitty Kitty has a great point about nutritional deficiencies and B vitamins.  I got a lot of aches and pains when I got off gluten.  I tried to replace wheat with other healthy grains like teff, buckwheat and sorghum.  Limiting one's diet too much and not getting enough vitamins, can make someone feel worse.  A lot of the gluten free foods in the stores are made with lower quality ingredients than the wheat varieties.  I try to replace all my foods with homemade options.  Then I know the quality of the ingredients and which vitamins I may be high or low in.  Probiotics or prebiotics can help with bathroom issues.  Better to get them in foods if possible and not pill form.  My doctors keep recommending magnesium too.  It's not supposed to be taken alone, but they don't seem to care about that.  It's easy for vitamin D to be low too.  That was another thing doctors told me to take.  Unfortunately, they didn't monitor it and it went too high.  Again, better from natural sources like food and sunlight.  However, supplementing can help if you're not getting enough.  Some sources say to take D with K2.  You may want to have iodine levels checked.  If you add iodine, make sure to get sufficient selenium for thyroid.  You can get iodine naturally in most seaweed.  Nori may also be one of the few non-animal sources for B12.  Brazil nuts are a good source of selenium and you only need a few a day to meet RDA.  Some brands of nuts specifically say gluten free.  Unfortunately, there are issues with Brazil nut production and they're much harder to find this year. The more you can vary your diet the better.  One study said aim for at least 30 different foods in a week.  You might want to try kiwi fruit.  There were some studies that said eating kiwi improved mood.  It also has a covering which most people don't eat, so that should protect what's inside from contamination. I've limited my diet quite a bit over the years because of migraines, so I know how uncomfortable it can be finding safe foods.  However, I'm afraid limiting diets like that may actually be causing more harm than good.  It's something I'm trying to work on.  I keep trying to expand the number of foods I eat and my recipe repertoire.  I made a list of brands of foods that I've found that are gluten free so I have a guide when I'm shopping.  
    • knitty kitty
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    • Dora77
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The new they bought me pan was even carried home in a shopping bag with gluten bread in it, which triggered my OCD. It also has a rubber handle and I’m scared it might still hold onto gluten. Even if it’s washed well, it’s stored next to other pans that were used for gluten food/bread. Our kitchen table is used for eating gluten bread daily. My mom wipes it but not with soap. I’m scared tiny particles remain. If she made gluten-free bread dough on a board at the table, I’d still worry about cross contmaination contamination even with something under the dough and on the table as at one point the dough would probably touch the table. So I stopped eating anything she makes.   I know OCD is making it worse, but I can’t tell how much of my fear is real and how much is anxiety. Examples: • I wash my hands 20–30 times a day — before eating, after touching anything at home or outside, after using my phone/laptop. • I don’t let others touch my phone, and I’m scared to use my laptop because friends at school or my brother (who eat gluten) have touched it. And it annoys me a lot when others touch my stuff and feels like it got contaminated and is unsafe instantly. • I stopped eating while using my phone or laptop, afraid of invisible gluten being on them. • I wash my hands after opening food packaging (since it was on store cashier belts where gluten food is placed). • I avoid sitting anywhere except my bed or one clean chair. • I won’t shake hands with anyone or walk past people eating gluten. • At school, when switching classes, I wash my hands before getting out my laptop, again before opening it, etc. • I open door knobs with my elbows instead my hands   Job Concerns (Powder Coating, Sandblasting, Etc.) I’m working a temporary job right now that involves: • Powder coating • Sandblasting • Wet spray painting • Anodizing There’s also a laboratory. I don’t need this job, and my OCD makes me believe that dust or air particles there might contain gluten somehow. Should I quit?   Doctors Haven’t Helped My family doctor told me: “Asymptomatic celiac isn’t serious, if you have no symptoms, your intestines won’t get damaged, so you don’t need a gluten-free diet.” I knew that was wrong, but he wasn’t open to listening. I just nodded and didn‘t argue. My gastroenterologist (who’s also a dietitian) said: „If your antibodies are negative, there’s no damage. It might even be okay to try small amounts of gluten later if antibodies stay negative.“ Also said, pepper that says “may contain gluten” is fine if it only contains pepper. She was more informed than my family doctor but didn’t seem to fully understand celiac either.   Questions I Need Help With 1. Is it realistically safe to eat food my mom cooks, if we get separate pans/ and boards even if gluten is still used in the same kitchen? There will always be low risk of cc chances like that she will still touch stuff that was touched by her and my siblings after they ate gluten. And as there are gluten eaters in the house and she also prepares and eats gluten. So would opening the fridge then getting the food and touching the food be okay? So basically what i am doing, washing my hands multiple times while preparing food, she would only wash it once before, then touch anything else (for example water tap or handles) that were touched with gluteny hands, then also touch the food. I dont know if I ever could feel safe, I could try telling her how important cc really is. And I trust her so she wouldnt lie to me then be careless about cc, but idk how safe it really can be if she and everyone else keeps eating gluten and touching stuff in the house after eating. 2. Do I need to worry about touching doorknobs, fridge handles, light switches, etc. that family members touched after eating gluten? What about public places like bus handles or school desks? Or like if i went to the gym, I would be touching stuff all the time, so there will be small amounts of gluten and those would get transferred on my phone if I touch my phone while in the gym. But I want to knos if it would be enough to do damage. 3. Is an endoscopy (without biopsy) enough to tell if my intestines are healed? I’d pay privately if it could help and if i dont get a refferal. Or do i need a biopsy? 4. Could my job (powder coating, sandblasting, etc.) expose me to gluten or damage my intestines through air/dust? 5. Do I need certified gluten-free toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, or moisturizer? (For example: Vaseline and Colgate don’t contain gluten ingredients but say they can’t guarantee it’s gluten-free.) 6. Is spices like pepper with “may contain traces of gluten” safe if no gluten ingredients are listed? Or does everything need to be labeled gluten-free?  7. Is continuing to only eat my own food the better choice, or could I eventually go back to eating what my mom cooks if she’s careful? 8. is cutlery from dishwasher safe if there are stains? Stuff like knives is used for cutting gluten bread or fork for noodles etc. I often see stains which i dont know if its gluten or something else but our dish washer doesnt seem to make it completely clean. 9. I wash my hands multiple times while preparing food. Do i need to do the same when touching my phone. Like if i touch the fridge handle, I wash my hands then touch the phone. I dont eat while using my phone but i leave it on my bed and pillow and my face could come in contact with where it was.  10. Do i need to clean my phone or laptop if theyve been used by people who eat gluten? Even if no crumbs fall onto my keybaord, i mean because of invisible gluten on their fingers. 11. Does medication/supplements have to be strictly glutenfree? One company said they couldn‘t guarantee if their probiotics don’t contain traces of gluten.  12. I had bought supplements in the past, some of them say glutenfree and some of them dont(like the brand „NOW“ from iherb). I bought them and used them when i wasnt washing my hands so often, are they still safe? As I touched and opened them after touching door knobs, water taps etc. It was like a year ago when i bought those and even though i was eating gluten-free, I never worried about what i touch etc. I know this post is long. I’m just extremely overwhelmed. I’m trying to protect myself from long-term health damage, but the OCD is destroying my quality of life, and I honestly don’t know what’s a reasonable level of caution anymore. Thanks for reading.
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