Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Friends And Family Not Supporting You?


Guest Keating823

Recommended Posts

Guest Keating823

For some reason, my family (my 3 brothers) and my friends think it's hilarious when they are eating a really good looking sandwich or something and look at me and be like "do you want a bite? oh wait, you can't! but are you sure you don't want any? It's reallllly good!" This goes on for a while. They also like to talk about how gross my food looks and tastes when I am eating. It makes me so mad! Anybody else have that? Oh and they call me the silly-yaker... which actually I don't mind because it sounds hilarious. And when they are eating they will be like "don't eat this rach, it's a gluten-bomb!!". Yes, my family and friends are quite the jokesters.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



CarlaB Enthusiast

If it's bothering you, I would answer them something like this, but in your own words ... "I'm glad you're having a good laugh at my expense." That should give them the clue that you don't think it's funny.

If your food doesn't look as good as theirs, you need to eat something else!!!! My gluten-free food always looks great! I tend to stick to things that are naturally gluten-free. Next time they have a sandwich, make yourself a steak (is it really that much more expensive than gluten-free bread? :lol: !

stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast

This is not very fair to your situation. You are not celiac by choice, so it's not fair, that they are picking on you like that. You should let them know!

Karbol Newbie
For some reason, my family (my 3 brothers) and my friends think it's hilarious when they are eating a really good looking sandwich or something and look at me and be like "do you want a bite? oh wait, you can't! but are you sure you don't want any? It's reallllly good!" This goes on for a while. They also like to talk about how gross my food looks and tastes when I am eating. It makes me so mad! Anybody else have that? Oh and they call me the silly-yaker... which actually I don't mind because it sounds hilarious. And when they are eating they will be like "don't eat this rach, it's a gluten-bomb!!". Yes, my family and friends are quite the jokesters.

Sounds like it's hard for you. I never thought of teasing as something my son could be dealing with. I am going to ask him now. I hope that you could tell your friends and family how you feel. They may be trying to be "light about it", but obviously it is having the opposite effect for you. A simple, "Hey Guys, it is really hard for me to ........" Hang in there. Karbol

ravenwoodglass Mentor

What I would do is give them a smug and knowing look and say something like "You know this is genetic right? Well your time may come, and sooner than you think." This of course only applies if they are old enough to know what genes are. If they aren't I would try and enlist your parents in educating them or simply ignore them and take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing what you need to do, in a mature manner, to live as long and as pain free as you can. There is not much you can do to make these kids more adult but you can change the way you react to their teasing. If you do not react to their taunts eventually they will stop.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
What I would do is give them a smug and knowing look and say something like "You know this is genetic right? Well your time may come, and sooner than you think." This of course only applies if they are old enough to know what genes are. If they aren't I would try and enlist your parents in educating them or simply ignore them and take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing what you need to do, in a mature manner, to live as long and as pain free as you can. There is not much you can do to make these kids more adult but you can change the way you react to their teasing. If you do not react to their taunts eventually they will stop.

I really like your response about the genetics. :)

Guest Keating823
What I would do is give them a smug and knowing look and say something like "You know this is genetic right? Well your time may come, and sooner than you think." This of course only applies if they are old enough to know what genes are. If they aren't I would try and enlist your parents in educating them or simply ignore them and take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing what you need to do, in a mature manner, to live as long and as pain free as you can. There is not much you can do to make these kids more adult but you can change the way you react to their teasing. If you do not react to their taunts eventually they will stop.

haha that is actually really funny. and yes, they are definitely old enough to know about genetics... they are ages 16, 23, and 25! and the oldest hasn't been tested for it yet so i'm sure that will give him a little scare :) haha


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



bloatedntexas Rookie

yes, i have had my share of teasings. they make comments like "hey, want to go to lunch at pot belly sandwich? oh wait, you can't eat sandwiches." they think it's cute. they make fun of my celiac shirts, too and say things like "can i get one that says, "i love my retarded cousin". this is after i have bought them one that says "someone i love is a celiac". it hurts my feelings, but they simply don't understand that celiac is real and it is painful. i try not to take personally.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
haha that is actually really funny. and yes, they are definitely old enough to know about genetics... they are ages 16, 23, and 25! and the oldest hasn't been tested for it yet so i'm sure that will give him a little scare :) haha

Any rude comments or ewhhh remarks went away after my kids and hubby were tested. They were all positive :lol: I then became the one to go to ask 'can I eat this, is this safe to use etc'. Testing of all family members is strongly encouraged because of the number of body systems that can be effected and the link to lymphomas and other nasty diseases. So..... Tell them to roll up their sleeves, or to order stool testing from Enterolab. I would be will to lay money that you are not the only one in the family.

melrobsings Contributor

DUDE!!! I get the same sort of thing but one that really pissed me off way at my mans company BBQ. His boss was doing corn on the grill and I said "hey dude what brand of butter do you use?" and he said "what?! Butter? Are you kidding me?!" and I said like a hard @ss "nope. what brand?" and he said "it's butter, get over it!" and my man goes "dude, she has food allergies" and he just huffed and I looked at him up and down and say "EW" (like a typical california valley girl and I totally can cause i was born and raised there!) and walked off. I didn't have my corn but I heard via my man that I go voted "coolest girl friend there" cause I "ew-ed" his boss! not to mention there was nothing there for me to eat but the smoked sausage we brought....and wine, LOTS of wine!

Jestgar Rising Star
yes, i have had my share of teasings. they make comments like "hey, want to go to lunch at pot belly sandwich? oh wait, you can't eat sandwiches." they think it's cute. they make fun of my celiac shirts, too and say things like "can i get one that says, "i love my retarded cousin". this is after i have bought them one that says "someone i love is a celiac". it hurts my feelings, but they simply don't understand that celiac is real and it is painful. i try not to take personally.

Maybe you can suggest to them that if they can't figure out how important this is to you, you'll be forced to get a "i love my retarded cousin" shirt.

aikiducky Apprentice
yes, i have had my share of teasings. they make comments like "hey, want to go to lunch at pot belly sandwich? oh wait, you can't eat sandwiches." they think it's cute. they make fun of my celiac shirts, too and say things like "can i get one that says, "i love my retarded cousin". this is after i have bought them one that says "someone i love is a celiac". it hurts my feelings, but they simply don't understand that celiac is real and it is painful. i try not to take personally.

I would so show up in a t-shirt that said "I love my clueless co-workers/siblings/whoever it was that made the remark" the next time I was going to see them...

Pauliina

Guest Keating823

it's not so much that i can't fend for myself... growing up with 3 brothers and a sister and being the second youngest i have definitely have a sense of humor and can crack a joke back but after a while it just gets annoying. i mean, how many gluten-bomb jokes can people laugh at? i have a celiac t-shirt too! it says "silly yak" and then it has a picture of a yak with crossed eyes. it's hilarious. anyways, i can't believe everyone else gets stupid celiac comments like me haha

Jestgar Rising Star

Next time you eat with them, carry a box of ex-lax. When they offer you gluten, smile and offer them a couple pills "so we can go through this together".

Guest Keating823
Next time you eat with them, carry a box of ex-lax. When they offer you gluten, smile and offer them a couple pills "so we can go through this together".

hahaha sounds like a plan.

melrobsings Contributor

or buy the gluten-free brick bread and chuck it at them! It will knock them out cold!

zarfkitty Explorer
Next time you eat with them, carry a box of ex-lax. When they offer you gluten, smile and offer them a couple pills "so we can go through this together".

OMG! Now I'll have to carry a box of ex-lax in my purse so I'm never caught unprepared!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Teacher1958 Apprentice
For some reason, my family (my 3 brothers) and my friends think it's hilarious when they are eating a really good looking sandwich or something and look at me and be like "do you want a bite? oh wait, you can't! but are you sure you don't want any? It's reallllly good!" This goes on for a while. They also like to talk about how gross my food looks and tastes when I am eating. It makes me so mad! Anybody else have that? Oh and they call me the silly-yaker... which actually I don't mind because it sounds hilarious. And when they are eating they will be like "don't eat this rach, it's a gluten-bomb!!". Yes, my family and friends are quite the jokesters.

I always say that you choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives, unfortunately. I know you don't want to stop seeing your brothers, but I have pretty much disowned many of my relatives. They had no tact and would tease anyone about anything. I can't even imagine the ridiculous things they would say about the gluten free diet. I consider most of them a bunch of rednecks, but that's neither here nor there.

Maybe you should try to avoid as many meals as possible with your family. You could always arrive late or leave early. You could get up and walk out. You could eat your own food before you get there and go do something else while they eat. I suppose it's impossible to insult them, so that's not an option. I think I am fresh out of ideas.

georgie Enthusiast

Oh...I so need this thread...... Last night was my first family dinner at our local Pub since being diagnosed. THEY chose the venue. There was NO choice for me. I knew this - so my dear hubbie cooked a risotto before I left and I ate that at home. So ...I wasn't hungry while I sat there watching them eat their crumbed snitzels, battered fish and sauce laden food. Or the hot vegetables made with cheese sauces. Or the chips made from a packet blend. I wasn't hungry ..but ..it ..was ... so HORRIBLE

Then they kept offering me food. Or even worse - offering me a bread roll and then saying ' you can't eat this but they are nice'

The final straw was when the chocolate mud cake came out with candles etc - for the birthday lady. It had been ordered and planned but ...NOTHING was planned for me .... :( I used to love Mud Cake ...

One cousin - a nurse - had a smirk on her face and I knew what she was thinking. Others seem to think it was a joke too.

ARGGHH ! I swear and declare that family dinners like this are the pits and I will not attend in future. Why waste karma on negative situations - I would rather be with friends who accept me and help and support me ...

stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast
haha that is actually really funny. and yes, they are definitely old enough to know about genetics... they are ages 16, 23, and 25! and the oldest hasn't been tested for it yet so i'm sure that will give him a little scare :) haha

And when the oldest one gets tested and it comes back negative, then you must reply "That might not save you, a negative result can become positive anytime, you have to be retested every year"... lol. :lol:

Teacher1958 Apprentice
Oh...I so need this thread...... Last night was my first family dinner at our local Pub since being diagnosed. THEY chose the venue. There was NO choice for me. I knew this - so my dear hubbie cooked a risotto before I left and I ate that at home. So ...I wasn't hungry while I sat there watching them eat their crumbed snitzels, battered fish and sauce laden food. Or the hot vegetables made with cheese sauces. Or the chips made from a packet blend. I wasn't hungry ..but ..it ..was ... so HORRIBLE

Then they kept offering me food. Or even worse - offering me a bread roll and then saying ' you can't eat this but they are nice'

The final straw was when the chocolate mud cake came out with candles etc - for the birthday lady. It had been ordered and planned but ...NOTHING was planned for me .... :( I used to love Mud Cake ...

One cousin - a nurse - had a smirk on her face and I knew what she was thinking. Others seem to think it was a joke too.

ARGGHH ! I swear and declare that family dinners like this are the pits and I will not attend in future. Why waste karma on negative situations - I would rather be with friends who accept me and help and support me ...

The question I asked myself was this- "If these people weren't family, would I be friends with them?"

That question pretty much answered itself. A family should support its members, not cause them emotional pain. Too many people endure untold agony because they feel that they have to spend time with their families. Always remember that it's a choice no matter how much guilt they throw at you.

Guest Keating823

don't get me wrong... i absolutely LOVE my family. they are my best friends. my sister is my best friend in the world, she has celiac disease too. and my brothers are so funny nice and protective of me. i mean, all my friends are jealous i have such an amazing family they are just awesome. it's just a little teasing. i mean, i tease my 25 year old brother for being as tall as a giant and my younger brother for being an idiot. haha i just thought it would be AWESOME to just be able to vent about those stupid times when you just get SO FRUSTRATED with having this stupid disease.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
don't get me wrong... i absolutely LOVE my family. they are my best friends. my sister is my best friend in the world, she has celiac disease too. and my brothers are so funny nice and protective of me. i mean, all my friends are jealous i have such an amazing family they are just awesome. it's just a little teasing. i mean, i tease my 25 year old brother for being as tall as a giant and my younger brother for being an idiot. haha i just thought it would be AWESOME to just be able to vent about those stupid times when you just get SO FRUSTRATED with having this stupid disease.

And this is a good safe place to vent all you need. We all need to vent and it does not mean that you love them any less, and if teasing is something you guys have always done in a good natured way it doesn't mean they love you less. But if it does bother you it may be a good idea to sit down with them and tell them why.

par18 Apprentice
don't get me wrong... i absolutely LOVE my family. they are my best friends. my sister is my best friend in the world, she has celiac disease too. and my brothers are so funny nice and protective of me. i mean, all my friends are jealous i have such an amazing family they are just awesome. it's just a little teasing. i mean, i tease my 25 year old brother for being as tall as a giant and my younger brother for being an idiot. haha i just thought it would be AWESOME to just be able to vent about those stupid times when you just get SO FRUSTRATED with having this stupid disease.

Actually the disease is pretty smart. It responds to the diet . It is the uneducated masses (including doctors, co-workers, family members and friends) who are STUPID! After all "stupid is as stupid does".

Tom

kbtoyssni Contributor

It's too bad it's your family doing this, because it's a little harder to cut them out of your life than friends. Do you ever bring yummy gluten-free food to share at family events? I know this probably isn't going to work with people like this, but I like to show everyone how yummy and normal my food is. I make gluten-free cakes all the time and bring them to work. About 30 seconds after I send out the email I've got a line of people waiting for a piece.

Seriously, though, you don't need this kind of negative influence in your life. I'd tell them to stop it and if it doesn't, stop hanging around at meal time.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,553
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Jennifer CCC
    Newest Member
    Jennifer CCC
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Your post demonstrates the profound frustration and isolation that so many in the Celiac community feel, and I want to thank you for channeling that experience into advocacy. The medical gaslighting you endured for decades is an unacceptable and, sadly, a common story, and the fact that you now have to "school" your own GI specialist speaks volumes about the critical lack of consistent and updated education. Your idea to make Celiac Disease a reportable condition to public health authorities is a compelling and strategic one. This single action would force the system to formally acknowledge the prevalence and seriousness of the disease, creating a concrete dataset that could drive better research funding, shape medical school curricula, and validate the patient experience in a way that individual stories alone often cannot. It is an uphill battle, but contacting representatives, as you have done with Adam Gray, is exactly how change begins. By framing it as a public health necessity—a matter of patient safety and protection from misdiagnosis and neglect—you are building a powerful case. Your voice and your perseverance, forged through thirty years of struggle, are exactly what this community needs to ensure that no one else has to fight so hard just to be believed and properly cared for.
    • Scott Adams
      I had no idea there is a "Louisville" in Colorado!😉 I thought it was a typo because I always think of the Kentucky city--but good luck!
    • Scott Adams
      Navigating medication safety with Celiac disease can be incredibly stressful, especially when dealing with asthma and severe allergies on top of it. While I don't have personal experience with the HealthA2Z brand of cetirizine, your caution is absolutely warranted. The inactive ingredients in pills, known as excipients, are often where gluten can be hidden, and since the FDA does not require gluten-free labeling for prescription or over-the-counter drugs, the manufacturer's word is essential. The fact that you cannot get a clear answer from Allegiant Health is a significant red flag; a company that is confident its product is gluten-free will typically have a customer service protocol to answer that exact question. In situations like this, the safest course of action is to consider this product "guilty until proven innocent" and avoid it. A better alternative would be to ask your pharmacist or doctor to help you identify a major national brand of cetirizine (like Zyrtec) whose manufacturer has a verified, publicly stated gluten-free policy for that specific medication. It's not worth the risk to your health when reliable, verifiable options are almost certainly available to you. You can search this site for USA prescriptions medications, but will need to know the manufacturer/maker if there is more than one, especially if you use a generic version of the medication: To see the ingredients you will need to click on the correct version of the medication and maker in the results, then scroll down to "Ingredients and Appearance" and click it, and then look at "Inactive Ingredients," as any gluten ingredients would likely appear there, rather than in the Active Ingredients area. https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/   
    • Scott Adams
      What you're describing is indeed familiar to many in the Celiac community, especially in the early stages of healing. When the intestinal villi are damaged from Celiac disease, they struggle to properly digest and absorb fats, a condition known as bile acid malabsorption. This can cause exactly the kind of cramping and spasms you're seeing, as undigested fats can irritate the sensitive gut lining. It is highly plausible that her reactions to dairy and eggs are linked to their higher fat content rather than the proteins, especially since she tolerates lean chicken breast. The great news is that for many, this does improve with time. As her gut continues to heal on a strict gluten-free diet, her ability to produce the necessary enzymes and bile to break down fats should gradually return, allowing her to slowly tolerate a wider variety of foods. It's a slow process of healing, but your careful approach of focusing on low-fat, nutrient-dense foods like seeds and avocado is providing her system the best possible environment to recover. Many people with celiac disease, especially those who are in the 0-2 year range of their recovery, have additional food intolerance issues which could be temporary. To figure this out you may need to keep a food diary and do an elimination diet over a few months. Some common food intolerance issues are dairy/casein, eggs, corn, oats, and soy. The good news is that after your gut heals (for most people who are 100% gluten-free this will take several months to two years) you may be able to slowly add some these items back into your diet after the damaged villi heal. This article may be helpful: Thank you for sharing your story—it's a valuable insight for other parents navigating similar challenges.
    • Beverage
      I had a very rough month after diagnosis. No exaggeration, lost so much inflammatory weight, I looked like a bag of bones, underneath i had been literally starving to death. I did start feeling noticeably better after a month of very strict control of my kitchen and home. What are you eating for breakfast and lunch? I ignored my doc and ate oats, yes they were gluten free, but some brands are at the higher end of gluten free. Lots of celics can eat Bob's Red Mill gluten-free oats, but not me. I can now eat them, but they have to be grown and processed according to the "purity protocol" methods. I mail order them, Montana Gluten-Free brand. A food and symptoms and activities log can be helpful in tracking down issues. You might be totally aware, but I have to mention about the risk of airborne gluten. As the doc that diagnosed me warned . . Remember eyes, ears, nose, and mouth all lead to your stomach and intestines.  Are you getting any cross contamination? Airborne gluten? Any pets eating gluten (they eat it, lick themselves, you pet them...)? Any house remodeling? We live in an older home, always fixing something. I've gotten glutened from the dust from cutting into plaster walls, possibly also plywood (glues). The suggestions by many here on vitamin supplements also really helped me. I had some lingering allergies and asthma, which are now 99% gone. I was taking Albuterol inhaler every hour just to breathe, but thiamine in form of benfotiamine kicked that down to 1-2 times a day within a few days of starting it. Also, since cutting out inflammatory seed oils (canola, sunflower, grapeseed, etc) and cooking with real olive oil, avocado oil, ghee, and coconut oil, I have noticed even greater improvement overall and haven't used the inhaler in months! It takes time to weed out everything in your life that contains gluten, and it takes awhile to heal and rebuild your health. At first it's mentally exhausting, overwhelming, even obsessive, but it gets better and second nature.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.