Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

A Tough Choice To Make

blueeyedmanda

Recommended Posts

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

So our downstairs neighbor has a 5 month old son who is wonderful, his name is Landen. She works weekends 3rd shift as a nurse at our hospital. She works 7pm-7am. We have watched her son a few times when the regular babysitter canceled last minute. It was great for us, since it gave us the practice for when we have a child. She has told me on occasion that the babysitter doesn't play with him just sticks him in a swing, and the baby always cries when Jen drops him off. So I told my husband John that I think the babysitter is looking for a way to get out of this. This evening Jen told me she is getting vibes that the babysitter is not wanting to do it anymore. (turns out she is newly single and wants to go out and party)

So John has already said maybe we should watch him on the weekends. The baby was very comfortable with us last weekend, there were no cries when he was dropped off and he was happy in the morning when she came home. She even commented on that. John enjoyed spending time with him and even offered to wake-up with him overnight. Jen forgot to leave his carseat last week but she said she didn't mind if we ran out and took him to the store. We would be able to take him and run to the grocery store or down to John's parents to visit if we needed. He is very well-behaved and didn't seem to mind the change of scenery.

He wouldn't cramp our weekend style, we are usually homebodies. Occasionally we take a trip to my families, 2 hrs away but with the rising gas prices that wouldn't happen as often. We usually do some grocery shopping and come home and watch a movie. We just are not one of those couples who is out all the time....we just want to save up for our first home. As mentioned above we could always take him out too.

She pays decent money to her current babysitter who has not been dependable lately. I think it would give her some piece of mind to know he is happy and he is with people that want him too. She would only have to bring him upstairs so she would not have to leave over an hour early for work to drop him off and then turn and go to work.

Jen has not asked us yet....I am not sure she will as to not put us on the spot. We are going to think it through another day and then talk to her.

What all do you guys think?

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted

I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but we have no children, so take this with a grain of salt, Manda.

Landen seems to be happy spending time with you and John. Both of you enjoy having Landen around. Jen needs a minder for her son and would pay something for it. You and John are saving for a home.

Unless I am missing something, the answer is clear: everybody wins if you do this.

:)

Mom23boys Contributor
Mom23boys
Posted
Unless I am missing something, the answer is clear: everybody wins if you do this.

My thoughts too.

You sound like a way better match for the baby then the current sitter. It will give her peace of mind with him being with you. It is so stressful when the kids don't want to be with someone. You are in a dream location too!

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

I would come right out and offer. You should get any monetary agreement in writing if possible but I would do it even if she is reluctant to do so. It sounds like you guys enjoy the baby and he enjoys you. Just be sure that she leaves that car seat every weekend, do NOT get in the car unless the baby is in one. In the event of an accident the baby will be a flying missle, and you will run the risk of being charged with negligent homicide if the worst should occur. This happened recently in my town, the Mom was even in the car at the time of the accident. There was an accident and the baby was thrown from the car and died. The 17 year old who was driving is facing years in prison. The Mom has run from the police, leaving her remaining live child to be raised by other family members.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
  • Author

Thanks Everyone. I think we are going to offer. We love children! :) :)

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted
Thanks Everyone. I think we are going to offer. We love children! :) :)

Sounds like a win win to me.

I'd go for it.

Hugs

Judy

jkmunchkin Rising Star
jkmunchkin
Posted
I'm old enough to be a grandfather, but we have no children, so take this with a grain of salt, Manda.

Landen seems to be happy spending time with you and John. Both of you enjoy having Landen around. Jen needs a minder for her son and would pay something for it. You and John are saving for a home.

Unless I am missing something, the answer is clear: everybody wins if you do this.

:)

I was going to say something similar. Sounds like you already know what you want to do ;)

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

I really like this idea for you, Amanda. And good for you two, for thinking it out so thoroughly before offering!!!

home-based-mom Contributor
home-based-mom
Posted

Just wanted to add my "thumbs up" that you should offer, but echo what ravenwoodglass said about the car seat. Option "B" could be for you to pick one up at a yard sale or resale shop. If you do that, be sure to check the recall list before you buy.

It definitely sounds like Landen would be better off with you than where he is now.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
  • Author
Just wanted to add my "thumbs up" that you should offer, but echo what ravenwoodglass said about the car seat. Option "B" could be for you to pick one up at a yard sale or resale shop. If you do that, be sure to check the recall list before you buy.

It definitely sounds like Landen would be better off with you than where he is now.

I actually have a spare one.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Hi Amanda--

I vote "yes', too. Sounds like it would work beautifully for everyone :)

Phyllis28 Apprentice
Phyllis28
Posted

Sounds like a good idea. One other thing, in my opinion, you need to check your states laws and determine if you need to become a "licensed child care" provider.

Ursa Major Collaborator
Ursa Major
Posted
Sounds like a good idea. One other thing, in my opinion, you need to check your states laws and determine if you need to become a "licensed child care" provider.

I think (at least here in Canada that is the case) that you only need to do that if you actually run a real daycare and have several kids from different families every day.

Amanda, I say, 'go for it'! You enjoy the little guy, he is happy with you, and you will get some extra money to safe for your house.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
  • Author
I think (at least here in Canada that is the case) that you only need to do that if you actually run a real daycare and have several kids from different families every day.

I think in the US, for us it would not apply since we are just a babysitter of one child.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted
I think in the US, for us it would not apply since we are just a babysitter of one child.

I agree. People in PA do it all the time.

What a wonderful time saver for the mom and you getting more $$ for your home.

Thrilled for you. Bet the Mom will be thrilled too.

Judy

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
  • Author
I agree. People in PA do it all the time.

What a wonderful time saver for the mom and you getting more $$ for your home.

Thrilled for you. Bet the Mom will be thrilled too.

Judy

I am really glad she is our below neighbor, we get a long so well. Our last below neighbors were a bit difficult and not respectful at all.

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Judyin Philly
Posted
I am really glad she is our below neighbor, we get a long so well. Our last below neighbors were a bit difficult and not respectful at all.

Hi Amanda.

I did this for my neighbor next door. People help neighbors all the time.

We got the $$ out of the way first............and then it was separate from our 'neighborly --do for free casue we're neighbors' kinda thing. We have each other house keys, get mail when on vacation etc.

Also it would just be SO east for everyone. I hope she wants to do it.

love judy

Cheri A Contributor
Cheri A
Posted

Sounds like a great situation for both of you. I used to babysit for a family in my home.

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

Amanda

One word of advice: you many have to declare the pay as "income" and pay federal and state taxes on it.

Reason: as a nurse, the Mom may have a Flexible Spending Plan at her work and this plan actually reimburses her for a portion (if not all of her daycare expenses). However, she will have to name you as the receipient of the funds and may have to supply them with your social security number. This will force you to have to delcare this pay as income.

Fiddle-Faddle Community Regular
Fiddle-Faddle
Posted

Not only do I agree with everyone that it's a win-win situation, but if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't DREAM of leaving my baby with a sitter like the one she has!!! That "sitter" sounds like she can't be trusted to keep the baby safe, let alone well-cared for.

The sooner you offer, the better. I just have a VERY creepy feeling about that "sitter."

Your neighbor is so lucky she has you as a friend and neighbor!

Cheri A Contributor
Cheri A
Posted
Not only do I agree with everyone that it's a win-win situation, but if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't DREAM of leaving my baby with a sitter like the one she has!!! That "sitter" sounds like she can't be trusted to keep the baby safe, let alone well-cared for.

The sooner you offer, the better. I just have a VERY creepy feeling about that "sitter."

Your neighbor is so lucky she has you as a friend and neighbor!

ITA!!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
  • Author
Not only do I agree with everyone that it's a win-win situation, but if I were your neighbor, I wouldn't DREAM of leaving my baby with a sitter like the one she has!!! That "sitter" sounds like she can't be trusted to keep the baby safe, let alone well-cared for.

The sooner you offer, the better. I just have a VERY creepy feeling about that "sitter."

Your neighbor is so lucky she has you as a friend and neighbor!

I couldn't agree more. Thanks :)

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

It's all good, Amanda! Can't think of a single negative in all of this.....Everyone benefits, particularly Landen, as he'll have you two great caregivers! :)

Guhlia Rising Star
Guhlia
Posted

I too think it sounds like a real win win situation. Have you talked to her yet?

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,669
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    CDR40
    Newest Member
    CDR40
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Rejoicephd
      Draft gluten-free ciders… can they be trusted ?

      By Rejoicephd · Posted

      That and my nutritionist also said that drinking cider is one of the worst drink choices for me, given that I have candida overgrowth.  She said the combination of the alcohol and sugar would be very likely to worsen my candida problem.  She suggested that if I drink, I go for clear vodka, either neat or with a splash of cranberry.   So in summary, I am giving ciders a rest.  Whether it's a gluten risk or sugars and yeast overgrowth, its just not worth it.
    • Inkie
      Tea Bags and Gluten

      By Inkie · Posted

      Thank you for the information ill will definitely bring it into practice .
    • Scott Adams
      Tea Bags and Gluten

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      While plain, pure tea leaves (black, green, or white) are naturally gluten-free, the issue often lies not with the tea itself but with other ingredients or processing. Many flavored teas use barley malt or other gluten-containing grains as a flavoring agent, which would be clearly listed on the ingredient label. Cross-contamination is another possibility, either in the facility where the tea is processed or, surprisingly, from the tea bag material itself—some tea bags are sealed with a wheat-based glue. Furthermore, it's important to consider that your reaction could be to other substances in tea, such as high levels of tannins, which can be hard on the stomach, or to natural histamines or other compounds that can cause a non-celiac immune response. The best way to investigate is to carefully read labels for hidden ingredients, try switching to a certified gluten-free tea brand that uses whole leaf or pyramid-style bags, and see if the reaction persists.
    • Scott Adams
      Inconclusive results

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      This is a challenging and confusing situation. The combination of a positive EMA—which is a highly specific marker rarely yielding false positives—alongside strongly elevated TTG on two separate occasions, years apart, is profoundly suggestive of celiac disease, even in the absence of biopsy damage. This pattern strongly aligns with what is known as "potential celiac disease," where the immune system is clearly activated, but intestinal damage has not yet become visible under the microscope. Your concern about the long-term risk of continued gluten consumption is valid, especially given your family's experience with the consequences of delayed diagnosis. Since your daughter is now at an age where her buy-in is essential for a gluten-free lifestyle, obtaining a definitive answer is crucial for her long-term adherence and health. Given that she is asymptomatic yet serologically positive, a third biopsy now, after a proper 12-week challenge, offers the best chance to capture any microscopic damage that may have developed, providing the concrete evidence needed to justify the dietary change. This isn't about wanting her to have celiac; it's about wanting to prevent the insidious damage that can occur while waiting for symptoms to appear, and ultimately giving her the unambiguous "why" she needs to accept and commit to the necessary treatment. This article might be helpful. It breaks down each type of test, and what a positive results means in terms of the probability that you might have celiac disease. One test that always needs to be done is the IgA Levels/Deficiency Test (often called "Total IGA") because some people are naturally IGA deficient, and if this is the case, then certain blood tests for celiac disease might be false-negative, and other types of tests need to be done to make an accurate diagnosis. The article includes the "Mayo Clinic Protocol," which is the best overall protocol for results to be ~98% accurate.    
    • Scott Adams
      Medication

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Welcome to the community! Generally, for a gluten challenge before celiac disease blood tests, Tylenol (acetaminophen) is considered safe and should not interfere with your antibody results. The medications you typically need to avoid are those like ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) or naproxen (Aleve) that can cause intestinal irritation, which could potentially complicate the interpretation of an endoscopy if you were to have one. However, it is absolutely crucial that you confirm this with either your gastroenterologist or your surgeon before your procedure. They know the specifics of your case and can give you the definitive green light, ensuring your surgery is comfortable and your celiac testing remains accurate. Best of luck with your surgery tomorrow
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.