Got Glutened Again! Mad!

[ranger]

I made my Easter dinner; scalloped poatatoes and ham, asparagus, corn muffin, and rhubarb cake. Off to MIL for dinner, feeling safe.

Before dinner, she chided me - saying I wouldn't eat in her kitchen because it was too dirty. I assured her that it was just because it had so much gluten in it. I had to micro my dinner and notice that the micro was really dirty - full of food crud - and the counters had crumbs and crud everywhere! I tried to be as careful as possible, heated my food, and ate. And got glutened. Is it possible to get glutend by being in a kitchen like that? Should I just take a sandwhich or not eat next time? Can I say this now? YES, MIL, YOUR KITCHEN IS TOO DIRTY FOR ME TO EAT IN! ( And, probably for everyone else.) I've been sick for 2 days, but feel a little better now. Thanks

[TrillumHunter]

I hope you feel better soon! Be good to yourself when you're feeling bad.

As far as advice, I don't have any. What does your spouse say? Was it always like this?

A friend has the same problem. Her MIL sweeps the kitchen floor with the same broom she uses to sweep dog doo off the deck. Once there was mold in some shredded cheese and my friend wanted to toss it. Nope, she was told to sprinkle it on the casserole. Where's the puking smiley?

[ranger]

Maybe they should meet for moldy tea and peniccilin-laced crumpets! heh,heh,heh

[bigbird16]

A friend has the same problem. Her MIL sweeps the kitchen floor with the same broom she uses to sweep dog doo off the deck. Once there was mold in some shredded cheese and my friend wanted to toss it. Nope, she was told to sprinkle it on the casserole. Where's the puking smiley?

OMG. sounds like a relative of mine with cheese--the same one who didn't know wheat was in pasta, each and every time I've said to her, "No, I can't eat pasta because it has wheat in it, thank you."

[ranger]

Hey, on top of that, their bathroom door won't close and their toilet wouldn't flush. A celiacs nightmare! And, I walked out of there with light colored cat hair all over my black pants! Thank God I don't have to eat there again till Thanksgiving. That might geve me time to move out of state. Sorry, DH, it's not your fault. And thank you all!

[SalmonNationWoman]

I think the answer is pretty obvious if you're sick. A dirty, gluten-contaminated kitchen doesn't end at the kitchen door. That contaminated dust can spread throughout the house and HVAC system.

My "in-laws" are far more considerate than my own family but there's still confusion and mix-ups. Perhaps they're more sympathetic because my boyfriend of 9 years (their immediate family member) is also gluten intolerant and has soy allergy. We don't live near our families so this isn't such a frequent problem.

How about having dinner ala potluck at your house or a more neutral venue next time? You know your kitchen is clean and the ability to control cross contamination is in your hands. An alternative place is probably cleaner than the in-laws', making some assumptions for your post.

[mysecretcurse]

If people are going to be so non-understanding as that, then yes, I would just say "I'm sorry, but my health is important to me and yes, there is a danger of cross contamination in your kitchen, no offense."

If they reacted badly to that, Id simply shrug it off and bring my own food next time.

If they reacted badly to me bringing my own food, I wouldn't go to that place again.

Lack of support = I don't want in my life.

I'm so sorry you got glutened. *hug*

[ang1e0251]

The problem was she did bring her own food and still was glutened.

I guess I would enclose my container in a large plastic bag while it was microwaved. Not to say if your a sensitive, you could be sick just from touching their surfaces. In-laws are tough. I have not had to deal with that situation yet. I would like to go back to Colombia for a long visit but they are into manners. I can see many situations where my diet would be very rude and insulting to them. I wouldn't make myself sick because of it but the situation would be so uncomfortable.

[Crystalkd]

The gluten all over the kichen and in the microwave is most likely what made you sick. I'm sorry. It does suck badly. If I'm not in my own home I alway cover my food to re-heat it. My family makes sure they clean up thier crumbs so I don't have to deal with it and if I'm watching the kids they eat what I eat. After getting sick from making thier dinner a few times my rule is if I can't eat it I don't cook it. My family has become very understanding especially since I've become more sensitive and a reaction puts me down and out for a coup;e of days. If you MIL kichen is dangerous to your health tell her that a gently as possiple. It is not your fault if she takes in personal. I personally don't care what others think of me if I know what I'm doing is right for me. You might have to take that stance as well. What does your spouse say about the situation?

[samcarter]

Yuck! i know where you're coming from. My DH has decided we're not going back to his parents' for a long, long time. Their house is so old and full of junk (MIL is a hoarder, I seriously think she is mentally ill) and dusty and moldy. I have severe dust and mold allergies. I can't sleep there overnight, which MIL thinks is a snub. I want to tell her, "YES, your house is a death trap!" She has so much junk piled up that she can't clean, so it gets dirtier and dirtier.

When DH was growing up in that house he'd have to kill RATS before getting his breakfast in the morning. RATS. Picture a 12 year old having to grab a broom and kill a rat before he can pour a bowl of cereal! There are always ants and spiders and in the summers, wasps coming out of the walls. I'm sure the kitchen is covered in gluten, which is why I insist on making meals there and controlling my own food. Which she also hates.

[lasal]

I made my Easter dinner; scalloped poatatoes and ham, asparagus, corn muffin, and rhubarb cake. Off to MIL for dinner, feeling safe.

Before dinner, she chided me - saying I wouldn't eat in her kitchen because it was too dirty. I assured her that it was just because it had so much gluten in it. I had to micro my dinner and notice that the micro was really dirty - full of food crud - and the counters had crumbs and crud everywhere! I tried to be as careful as possible, heated my food, and ate. And got glutened. Is it possible to get glutend by being in a kitchen like that? Should I just take a sandwhich or not eat next time? Can I say this now? YES, MIL, YOUR KITCHEN IS TOO DIRTY FOR ME TO EAT IN! ( And, probably for everyone else.) I've been sick for 2 days, but feel a little better now. Thanks

Hi ranger,

Been there, done that. What I do is take it upon myself to clean the friends or relatives kitchen, then wash my hands, then prepare my food, or better yet, just heat it in the (cleaned) microwave. If they have questions or a problem with me cleaning for them, I explain. The friends and relatives I eat at know that I have celiac, and usually I tell them I'm sorry if it seems anal, but that I have to do that. If necessary, the first time, I explain it like a peanut or other allergy, since those are so common. The only problem I have still is with well meaning relatives and friends who think they can pick up my plate of food and move it for me, if they want me to eat elsewhere. I've been glutened that way, even last week at a funeral luncheon. The other problem I have is with people who think I'm paranoid and express concern and worry for my mental health, because of all the cleaning I do, and my response to someone else picking up my food when they've already handled their bun, or pizza or whatever. Good advice to just do what's right for you, and don't let it bother you what others think of you.

[lasal]

Maybe they should meet for moldy tea and peniccilin-laced crumpets! heh,heh,heh

Ha, that's funny.

[neesee]

I made my Easter dinner; scalloped poatatoes and ham, asparagus, corn muffin, and rhubarb cake. Off to MIL for dinner, feeling safe.

Before dinner, she chided me - saying I wouldn't eat in her kitchen because it was too dirty. I assured her that it was just because it had so much gluten in it. I had to micro my dinner and notice that the micro was really dirty - full of food crud - and the counters had crumbs and crud everywhere! I tried to be as careful as possible, heated my food, and ate. And got glutened. Is it possible to get glutend by being in a kitchen like that? Should I just take a sandwhich or not eat next time? Can I say this now? YES, MIL, YOUR KITCHEN IS TOO DIRTY FOR ME TO EAT IN! ( And, probably for everyone else.) I've been sick for 2 days, but feel a little better now. Thanks

Ranger, I noticed that you are 63 years old. That would make your in-laws somewhere in their 80's. If I were you, I would cut them some slack. Maybe they could even use a little help around the house themselves. Take a good hard look at them. They could be slipping. If the kithcen is that filthy, they probably need someone to help them out.

This stuff is pretty heavy on my mind right now because I have been taking care of my elderly Aunt. She isn't capable of cleaning any longer. My brother and I put her in-patient in hospice just last week. She has advanced COPD and dementia.

[ranger]

Ranger, I noticed that you are 63 years old. That would make your in-laws somewhere in their 80's. If I were you, I would cut them some slack. Maybe they could even use a little help around the house themselves. Take a good hard look at them. They could be slipping. If the kithcen is that filthy, they probably need someone to help them out.

This stuff is pretty heavy on my mind right now because I have been taking care of my elderly Aunt. She isn't capable of cleaning any longer. My brother and I put her in-patient in hospice just last week. She has advanced COPD and dementia.

neesee, I'm so sorry to hear about your Aunt. I probably should have explained that the condition of the house is not her fault. She is 77 years old and cannot do the cleaning anymore, but her 2 40-plus daughters live with her, and they're supposed to do it. But they don't, and she's still sharp as a tack, so she should tell them to do it. But, they're all kind of lazy, so I'll just have to be more careful because I do love them. I am just so new to this and still learning (sometimes the hard way) how to stay safe, and still function in these kinds of situations. ps- I married a younger man. She's only 14 years my senior!

[ranger]

And a special THANKS to all of you. You don't know how much I've learned from this forum. And it does feel good to VENT! thanks,all

[Jestgar]

. ps- I married a younger man.

as every woman should..... :lol:

[babysteps]

Yuck! i know where you're coming from. My DH has decided we're not going back to his parents' for a long, long time. Their house is so old and full of junk (MIL is a hoarder, I seriously think she is mentally ill) and dusty and moldy.

My (deceased) mother was a hoarder, perhaps not quite to the same extent (the vermin stayed in the garage as far as I could ever tell) but not a safe kitchen! Not until after she died did I find out that hoarding is now considered a form of OCD.

Anyway, hang in there, definitely keep you & DH safe by not staying overnight and not eating at your MIL's.

Luckily my mother was always happy to go out to eat (whether fancy or basic), that helped. As long as there's a gluten-free friendly restaurant nearby. Or a gluten-free relative. Or you can do a look-what-I-brought-for-our-picnic event!!

[eringopaint]

This was terrific to read. It is a tricky situation with family, especially in-laws.

Terrible to think though that we are just trying to keep ourselves healthy... and have to worry about insulting or hurting others.

This is especially relevant to me right now - we are leaving tomorrow morning to spend a weekend at our friends' home and I am stressing about what food to bring. and how to handle meals out in a group if I can't control where we go.