The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[WardGirl]

Congrats on the house Amanda

[nikki-uk]

...CONGRATS AMANDA + JOHN!!!!!!!!!

[Jestgar]

...CONGRATS AMANDA + JOHN!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, that John character that hangs around with Manda...

[Jestgar]

None of my computers are behaving today <stomping feet>.

Stupid things KNOW there's a holiday coming up.

[Darn210]

Congratulations Amanda and John . . . just in time to ask fer all of yer Christmas presents to be in the form of . . . trash bins, garden hoses, rakes, Lowe's gift cards, lawnmowers, SNOW SHOVELS . . . you get the drift . . . snicker snicker . . . get it?? Drift?? Snow Shovel???

Emily . . . I've been having intermittent trouble wif charging me phone also. I'm thinking it may be my charger and not the phone. The car charger seems phine. Also a woefully late congrats to Sophie for MVP . . . was it for the game, team, or tournament? A great accomplishment which ever it is.

[elye]

None of my computers are behaving today <stomping feet>.

Gah, Jess. . . . . . .this must mean that you are pounding and pounding on the keys very hard, repeatedly. . . ... ..

Also a woefully late congrats to Sophie for MVP . . . was it for the game, team, or tournament? A great accomplishment which ever it is.

It was for an Eastern Ontario tournament. Somethin' she really needed. . . . having some doubts of her abilities, some teenaged-girl self-esteem issues. .so it came at the perfect time.

And to Smack, Janet!! Big belated congrats to him, as well, for the Tae Kwon Do green belt! Good for him!!

[Jestgar]

Gah, Jess. . . . . . .this must mean that you are pounding and pounding on the keys very hard, repeatedly. . . ... ..

More like pounding on my head really hard :poutyface:

[Mtndog]

CONGRATULATIONS AMANDA AND JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How are ye, my psillies? Very happy for you Amanda! Will you also be inviting the Twa people to live under YOUR stairs? :lol:

I remarked, "Well, this morning it was NOT charging. It was like....well.... .. .it had made its way down the hole of a porta-potty".

He stared at me for a moment, then quietly asked, "Would you reach in and attempt to retrieve it?"

I stared back at him. I replied, "You need to get onto this forum of which I'm a member"

Emily

laffylaffylaffy!!!!!!!!

Julie's gone parking mad with laffy taffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, good thing I'm driving a 10-year-old Jeep - the Amish version, before those key alarm thingys were invented

Susie- An Amish version Jeep :lol:x<SNORTCACKLE>

I asked them outright!....'are YOU Twa???' ........ the strangest thing happened....

They proceeded to do a dance .. stamping their feet, waggling their tongues chanting 'Twa, twa!'

Will run out of emoticons at this rate :lol:

Actually, I was just informed of the official formula for determining when the age difference for a woman and a young man becomes "sick", as my 42 year-old single friend called it. The Sick Scale: The woman's age, divided by two, plus seven years. So, she can go out with 28 year-old guys without feeling like a pathetic, skanky cougar.

A skanky cougar :lol:

Ah, the Psilliness is back!!!!!!!!!!! Time to up the wackl

[Mtndog]

Uncle ray sends his regards:

On their wedding night, the young bride

approached her new husband and asked

for $20.00 for their first lovemaking

encounter. In his highly aroused state,

her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made

love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a

cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that

she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was

surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that

his employer was going through a process of corporate

downsizing, and he had been let go.

It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find

another position that paid anywhere near what

he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which

showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest

totaling

nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits

issued

by the bank which were worth over $2 million,

and informed him that they

were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than

three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,

these holdings had multiplied and these were the

results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments

worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could

barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,

I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when

to keep their mouths shut

[Darn210]

Julie's gone parking mad with laffy taffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have visions of Julie parking in one spot . . . then moving to another because it's closer . . . but moving again because it was too tight of a fit . . . but this one's by a pos car that won't think twice about dingin' her doors . . . time to move again to a new spot . . . oh but this one requires parallel parking . . .

- Uncle Ray's wacklability

[blueeyedmanda]

I can't wait to get moved in and get some pictures taken for you guys.

[Jestgar]

Required Thanksgiving recipe:

Happy Thanksgiving EVERYBODY!!!

Who would have thought of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that.

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like

me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly

cooked, but not dried out.

Give this a try.

8 - 15 lb. turkey

1 cup melted butter

1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)

1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)

Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter

salt, and pepper.

Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.

Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's

a$$ blows the oven door open,

it's done.

[jerseyangel]

It's not really a party until the turkey's a$$ blows the oven door open

[elye]

So phunnee. . . ...Here I was, reading Jess's recipe, going along thinking, "GREAT!! Finally, a trick to know how a turkey's done! Must be when the popcorn's all popped!"

[DingoGirl]

YAAAAAAAAAAAY, AMANDA!!!!!!!

It's SO exciting!!. .. . .Um. . . .should we perhaps be planning another parade??

Meant to ask about this meself . . .. . ..I've never heard of "bobblehead" meaning anything but....well....a bobblehead. Those silly figurines on my daughter's shelf - - hockey players, mostly.

Leeeesa, what is the naughty meaning? We all have our suspicions, of course. Tell us this - - is it a word that you provided instructions for making in ASL?

Yes! Something else I wanted to explore. Ptaoughmghmn, where is your quaalude scar? Is it in the shape of a quaalude, or is it named this due to it being created whilst you were taking quaaludes??

Soooozie, you would be terrific in front of a slow elevator.. . . . ..

Um... . . .yer dreams. . .. . ....forgive my ignorance. . .....are you dreaming about Elen Degeneres? Portia who?

I have visions of Julie parking in one spot . . . then moving to another because it's closer . . . but moving again because it was too tight of a fit . . . but this one's by a pos car that won't think twice about dingin' her doors . . . time to move again to a new spot . . . oh but this one requires parallel parking . . .

- Uncle Ray's wacklability

It's not really a party until the turkey's a$$ blows the oven door open

SILLIES!!!!!!! am at work, have quoted all of the above and now have no time to address each individually

but x 50

and Patti said -

It's not really a party until the turkey's a$$ blows the oven door open

[Green12]

Hello Sillies!!!

Bev said to up the wackl, I am parking mad, Tom has a lude scar, and the turkey's arse is blowing open the oven door?!?!?!

HEE HEE!!

Amanda I am SO EXCITED for you and John!!!! It's been a long and bumpy road, but finally you have your home! Can't wait to hear all about it as you go through every step of this process

GAHHH!!!!!! The plumber has been (alas NO ballcocks) ... but he DID look like a young Colin Farrell!!!! <Somebody STOP me!!..he was young enough to be me son!! >

Colin Farrell is dreamy! Hope your boiler situation was fixed and you are all toasty warm

The Twa ARE the little people under me stairs, I'm sure!!!

I asked them outright!....'are YOU Twa???' ........ the strangest thing happened....

They proceeded to do a dance .. stamping their feet, waggling their tongues chanting 'Twa, twa!'

Nikki, you so FUNNY!

Actually, I was just informed of the official formula for determining when the age difference for a woman and a young man becomes "sick", as my 42 year-old single friend called it. The Sick Scale: The woman's age, divided by two, plus seven years. So, she can go out with 28 year-old guys without feeling like a pathetic, skanky cougar.

Skanky Cougar!!! ....so I could safely date a 25 yr old?!?!

sillies - OMG - I am having SO many celebrity dreams lately - - two about the Obamas in the last week and last night, I was hanging out with Ellen and Portia, at their HOUSE, Portia told me what kind of lip gloss she was wearing as we were shopping at Sak's Lauren was in a play at UCLA and we went to retrieve her through the throngs of a dense crowd

and - my big toe was bleeding profusely from a tiny pin prick - their private nurse attended me........

I got to see and smell HUNDREDS of exotic perfumes - some familiar to me, some not......

I found the most glorious posh and very expensive greenish purse at Sak's

What does it all mean?!?!?

Omg, you must consult the Dream Dictionary for all of these very specific objects and symbols:

Open Original Shared Link

(yes Emily, Ellen Degeneres. Portia de Rossi is Ellen's wife, she's an actress)

get it?? Drift?? Snow Shovel???

I got it!

I have visions of Julie parking in one spot . . . then moving to another because it's closer . . . but moving again because it was too tight of a fit . . . but this one's by a pos car that won't think twice about dingin' her doors . . . time to move again to a new spot . . . oh but this one requires parallel parking . . .

Janet's on a roll! Yep, that would be parking mad

Excellent Uncle Ray!

Excellent recipe/joke Jess!

Thanksgiving prep is in full swing for me. My house smells so GOOD!!! I made the cranberry compote and baked the corn bread for the dressing last night and just baked the gingerbread cakes for the trifle.

Went over to my brother and sil's house to decorate most of the late morning and early afternoon. They live backed up to a little horse pasture I guess you could call it and Arnie had a VERY good time running around in their huge back yard, so much so he brought us a present to the door, a wee little mouse! YIKES!

[Mtndog]

Julie makes compote SHE IS PARKING mad!!!!!!!!!! :lol: WTHIC? (What the heck is compote?). I prefer chutney- sounds like a lurvely town in Vermont. Yes- Kurt and I are going to Chutney this weekend <SNACKLE>

OK- must take a holiday poll. Do you prefer cranberry sauce or the cranberry THING that comes out of a can (canberry?). My first Thanksgiving with Kurt's family I tried to heat the canberry and <GASP> was yelled at by my MIL as cranberry sauce is hot, but apparently CANBERRY is a dish best served cold

I have visions of Julie parking in one spot . . . then moving to another because it's closer . . . but moving again because it was too tight of a fit . . . but this one's by a pos car that won't think twice about dingin' her doors . . . time to move again to a new spot . . . oh but this one requires parallel parking . . .

Uncle Ray's wacklability

:lol:

I'm so punchy today (read tired) that this and me spelling mistake are cracking me up

It's not really a party until the turkey's a$$ blows the oven door open

Dying laughing here- may have peed me pants- patti, our lurvely, polite, sweet psilly said the above. The wackl has officially been upped :lol:

[DingoGirl]

oh yeah, the wackl is upped all right :lol:

mygawd - - JULIE, I"M COMING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just don't go to any of that kind of effort.....such a sad, pitiful little Thanksgiving I make for myself, and take with me, can hardly be bothered - - WISH I made homemade cornbread stuffing and such.....

and - parking mad :lol:

AMANDA!!!!!!!! I canNOT believe how quickly that happened!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!

canberry? have eaten it.......but hot cranberry relish/compote? what in hell? all kinds of cranberry are served cold here.......

SILLIES! what in HELL am I going to make for a delicious, phoolproof, wonderful dessert?

[elye]

Bev said canberry

We don't bother with cranberry stuff over here.. . ..no one ever eats it. Just dressing and TONS of gravy. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....... . . .:drooly:

Arnie brought Jooolie a wee mouse!

I wonder if a large dog could carry a Twa?

[elye]

SILLIES! what in HELL am I going to make for a delicious, phoolproof, wonderful dessert?

Canuck Lumberjack Tarts! Throw some pureed pumpkin in for a Thanksgiving theme!

[tom]

WOOHOO AMANDA!!!!!

Congrats!! :)

[jerseyangel]

Julie, your house sounds so festive with all the yummy smells!

I made a simple apple crisp for dessert tonight--we're having it when DWTS is on later. I had a bunch of apples that had seen better days--sliced them up topped wif brown sugar, Smart Balance and brown rice flour and baked. <droolphace>

Tomorrow, I'm making a spice cake wif buttercream frosting, 5 bean salad (shudder.....legumes, but me son loves it), cranberry-orange relish and my corn/red pepper/bacon side dish. I'm bringing all that to me son's on Thursday.

My 2 cents on the cranberry......canberry discussion--we make homemade cranberry orange relish by processing raw cranberries, oranges and sugar in the food processor, and letting it chill for at least 24 hours. Mark's mom's recipe and a family tradition.

Personally, I prefer cooked cranberry sauce--cooking the berries wif some sugar and cinnamon till they boil and pop. I like it warm

[Green12]

Julie makes compote SHE IS PARKING mad!!!!!!!!!! :lol: WTHIC? (What the heck is compote?). I prefer chutney- sounds like a lurvely town in Vermont. Yes- Kurt and I are going to Chutney this weekend <SNACKLE>

OK- must take a holiday poll. Do you prefer cranberry sauce or the cranberry THING that comes out of a can (canberry?). My first Thanksgiving with Kurt's family I tried to heat the canberry and <GASP> was yelled at by my MIL as cranberry sauce is hot, but apparently CANBERRY is a dish best served cold

I think cranberry relish and/or canberry is typically a dish served cold!! But if you like it hot Bev, then you should just have hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this recipe for "Cranberry Compote" that was meant to be served topping a Cranberry Bundt Cake a few years ago and it turned out really good so I have been making it ever since.....it can be served hot or cold however, I serve it cold. (btw compote=cooked fruit that is kind of saucy, or stewed fruit)....anyhow it's fresh cranberries, dried cranberries, orange juice, orange zest, cinnamon sticks, sugar and vanilla and you cook it until it's thickened. Super easy. I cut the sugar way back and it's got that kind of sweet/kind of tart taste. Really good with turkey and all the fixings

SILLIES! what in HELL am I going to make for a delicious, phoolproof, wonderful dessert?

Canuck Lumberjack Tarts! Throw some pureed pumpkin in for a Thanksgiving theme!

Yes! Great idea Em, or as sweet Patti would say capitol idea!!!

I am also thinking of something no bake, what about Pumpkin Mouse Sooze?

Here is an example:

Open Original Shared Link

I'll keep thinking on it for ya!

I wonder if a large dog could carry a Twa?

Ha ha!! A Twa would be a welcomed gift from said large dog.

[happygirl]

Patti - Mark's family's cranberry tradition is ours, also .

[jerseyangel]

Julie, speaking of dessert (because we usually are )--I decided on the spice cake over the trifle since we have an hour's drive on Thursday. I am going to make it for here, though, closer to Christmas. It looks so good.....you must let me know how everyone liked it