The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Stupid lock down on ALL Europes airports (stupid volcano!) mean most the teachers are stuck abroad somewhere (they must be paying 'em TOO much! )

This Icelandic volcanic ash is causing enormous turmoil in the northern hemisphere - - MIL's trip to Italy has been cancelled, or postponed, until further notice.....she ain't happy... . ....... . . .. . . ..

And it has now blown westward, and Newfoundland's airspace is closed. Gah.

Had a visit yesterday with my mom at her retirement residence. We sat down in the beautiful common room to have coffee and afternoon snacks. Mom nodded toward a little hunched-over lady who was heading for the tea carafe... . .."You see her? She's new, here.. . ...Loretta. She just had her face lifted. Take a good look at it - - unbelievable. She looks like Joan Rivers....worse, maybe. Watch when she heads over to that sofa - - her face is so tight, when she sits down her mouth opens"... . ..... .

And it did.

Mom was also complaining about how sparse, almost non-existent, her eyebrows are, and how she is actively looking into getting them tattooed on. I mentioned something about her being eighty-two, and why in hell bother now? She is determined, however.... . .she is tired of having to pencil them in every morning. I suggested using a sharpie, and then she would only have to do it once a week er sumfin' -- those pen-marks really last.....at least on plastic containers and such.

So, I am taking over my two brown sharpies tonight. The concern is this: I do not have a beige one, only medium and dark brown.

Stay tuned.. . . . . . ....

[kareng]

'tis a BRILLIANT ideer. Esp. the part about cute electrician. But.....I"ll need to stay at a motel. Can't sleep in cramped quarters with ANY sort of noise, light, spiders, or too many people invading me bath.

Yes, High Maintenance. I hate it.

I would require a hotel room also. Its not high maintenance, its medically necessary. That's my new excuse. Gets me out of long bus rides with teens & camping trips with scouts.

Monday morning peeps!!!!!!!!!

Just got a phone call that 1 of the kids isn't back to school 'til Thurs

BAH! There goes my 'quiet, house to meself day'

Stupid lock down on ALL Europes airports (stupid volcano!) mean most the teachers are stuck abroad somewhere (they must be paying 'em TOO much! )

Some of the robotics teams are stuck in the States. I hope they didn't have to fly to NY & be stuck there. Would be cheaper & nicer to be stuck in Atlanta. Can you see ash in the sky?

Mom was also complaining about how sparse, almost non-existent, her eyebrows are, and how she is actively looking into getting them tattooed on. I mentioned something about her being eighty-two, and why in hell bother now? She is determined, however.... . .she is tired of having to pencil them in every morning. I suggested using a sharpie, and then she would only have to do it once a week er sumfin' -- those pen-marks really last.....at least on plastic containers and such.

So, I am taking over my two brown sharpies tonight. The concern is this: I do not have a beige one, only medium and dark brown.

Stay tuned.. . . . . . ....

Aw! Come on! Take Mom to the tatoo parlor. Maybe she could get something more interesting then regular eyebrows.

[elye]

I would require a hotel room also. Its not high maintenance, its medically necessary. That's my new excuse. Gets me out of long bus rides with teens & camping trips with scouts.

Kherrighnne, this is great. I shall use this reason from now on... . . ...

Aw! Come on! Take Mom to the tatoo parlor. Maybe she could get something more interesting then regular eyebrows.

We discussed that briefly - - she talked about maybe having her eyebrows inked way up on her forehead, to make her look super-vigilant, alert, happily surprised perhaps. ... . ... ..I say dangerous, perhaps insane.

[jerseyangel]

Ooooooh . . . have you posted this recipe anywhere? I'd like to take a gander.

I'll post it down at the bottom

Forgot to mention . . .

I had a lovely morning. Went to a local county park for a group bird hike. I've been thinking about going for years (it's every other Sunday, year-round). There were about 10 of us and of course they are all regulars and knew each other but you couldn't meet a nicer group of people and I was invited to Starbucks afterwards. Absolutely loved it and now it will be on my calandar permanently.

This sounds wonderful, Jan-it! I'm so glad you phinally went

How to make a cup of tea at my house.

Hilarious but exhausting......

Sounds great Patti! Maybe you can get a house that you can operate.

I'm thinking a lovely apartment wif a view of NYC.....

Maybe we should all meet at your house with our hammers, paint brushes, saws & Baileys & get your kitchen done. Then hire a cute electrician that we can watch re-do the circuits.

Now this sounds like a lot of phun! How's the kitchen comin' along, Jess?

His tender wee head

pillowed soft on my shoe

his feet blocking way to the door?

Loved this

'tis a BRILLIANT ideer.

"ideer"

Recipe Pleeeeeze!

It's a comin'....

She tries not to get her nose too close to sperm, special occasions only, like Christmas and dh's birthday :lol:

:lol:

OMGawd, Em--yer mum's eyebrows!!!!! Get her the brow kit from Smashbox--hellofa lot nicer than a sharpie!

Low Phat Mac and 3 Cheese

Boil a bag of Tinkyada Small Shells in salted water for 5 minutes. Drain and rinse wif cold water. Preheat oven to 375.

Whisk 2 tablespoons cornstarch and 2 and 1/2 cups of skim milk (I use organic). Cook and stir mixture until thickened and bubbly. Turn down heat and add 8 oz. of low phat cheddar, chopped (I use Cabot 75% less phat), 3 heaping tablespoons of Locatelli Romano (or any sharp grated cheese), a tablespoon of butter or margarine, and pepper to taste. The grated cheese has a lot of salt, so taste for that. I don't add any. Stir till melted and smooth.

Combine macaroni and sauce, pour into a greased baking dish and top wif a couple handfuls of shredded part skim mozzarella (I use Kraft) and another sprinkle of Locatelli. Bake at 375 for about 30-40 minutes or until slightly browned and bubbly.

[Mtndog]

I had o come on because Jess's poem is FAN-FU%$#ING-TASTIC!My favorite part:

A warm patch of sun

warmer still, a soft paw

the warmest- that soft little 'mwoof'.

Can there be more than these

that we need in this life

Is this less than equations or proofs?

Our Jess is truly a Renaissance woman. A scientist, a poet, a possessed crockpot owner, a builder. Jess- Really, this poem is beautiful!

Thank you for all the hugs. And T- If I haven't alreay said it, I'm so sorry about your dad. ((((HUGS))))

Patteigh's going home!!!!!!!!!!

I have mentioned the "sperm" trees to me good phrend and nabor. She does agree they stink, but going to have to go take a whiff to see if she agrees. However, I think the most qualified person to make that distinction would be ReyShell's BFF. What say she, ReyShell?? Do you think she would be able to diagnose any kind of STD (Sperm Tree Disease) on the Sperm Tree Bradford Pear?

:lol: Rey-chelle- That's QUITE a talent!!! I have a confession- I canna' smell these trees which are in FULL bloom around my fair city. Perhaps I am immune to the smell of old sperm Bradford Pear trees. Not sure if this is good or bad.

Huge Jackman does have a lovely arse from what I've seen. P

Gianknit was crippled by binoculars while hiking with a group of birds

Pieter is has not fallen....yet! Be careful Pieter- the edge is very close!

Goodnight T's dad and sweet Psymon, who shall be best pals in Heaven

Absolutely!!!!!!!!!

Monday morning peeps!!!!!!!!!

Just got a phone call that 1 of the kids isn't back to school 'til Thurs

BAH! There goes my 'quiet, house to meself day'

Stupid lock down on ALL Europes airports (stupid volcano!) mean most the teachers are stuck abroad somewhere (they must be paying 'em TOO much!

This volcano (which I cannot even pronounce!) is CRAZY!

Em- Your mom is a firecracker. These are for her

:lol:

[elye]

Bevel! Those brows!

Pahteigh .. ....have not heard of Smashbox Eyebrows.......must google this.

Did y'all know that sparse or non-existent eyebrow hair on the OUTSIDE brow half is indicative of hypothyroidism? Got half-brows and low thyroid throughout my family - - me, sis, bro, and my brow-deficient mom, who must, I suppose, have virtually NO thyroid hormone naturally present... . . ..

[JNBunnie1]

Bevel! Those brows!

Pahteigh .. ....have not heard of Smashbox Eyebrows.......must google this.

Did y'all know that sparse or non-existent eyebrow hair on the OUTSIDE brow half is indicative of hypothyroidism? Got half-brows and low thyroid throughout my family - - me, sis, bro, and my brow-deficient mom, who must, I suppose, have virtually NO thyroid hormone naturally present... . . ..

Well, good to know I don't have THAT problem! I have very long, thick eyebrows, takes constant maintenance.

[nikki-uk]

Did y'all know that sparse or non-existent eyebrow hair on the OUTSIDE brow half is indicative of hypothyroidism? Got half-brows and low thyroid throughout my family - - me, sis, bro, and my brow-deficient mom, who must, I suppose, have virtually NO thyroid hormone naturally present... . . ..

Halph brow...... a curse

I also need to google the 'smashbox brow'...... mine are TOO blonde, I'm in Mrs Lye's camp...tired of pencilling in!!!!

You can get 'em tinted..... this scares me ..... IMAGINE if it came out TOO dark

BEVEL, a STUNNING array of brows attatched to some magnificent looking specimens!!

Oh dear gaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!!

Sat down and watched 'The Notebook' this afternoon.... haven't stopped crying since!!!!!!

_{<I am a hopeless romantic >}

*sniff*

[jerseyangel]

Pahteigh .. ....have not heard of Smashbox Eyebrows.......must google this.

Did y'all know that sparse or non-existent eyebrow hair on the OUTSIDE brow half is indicative of hypothyroidism? Got half-brows and low thyroid throughout my family - - me, sis, bro, and my brow-deficient mom, who must, I suppose, have virtually NO thyroid hormone naturally present... . . ..

This one is easy to use and looks nice--

Open Original Shared Link

The halph brow--I have also heard of that being associated wif Celiac. Or over tweezing

[elye]

You can get 'em tinted..... this scares me ..... IMAGINE if it came out TOO dark

.... . . .....Like, if done with a brown Sharpie, perhaps?

This one is easy to use and looks nice--

Open Original Shared Link

The Sharpie I plan to use on my mother is very like this li'l pencil tool... .. . ...I'll just need some type of gel to finish the look. Mom will probably insist on Vaseline, the old standby. . . . ......

[celiac-mommy]

OK, I have started the 'gift boxes' cakes for a baby shower this weekend. I have 6 8" layer cakes on my counter, I have colored the gum paste and molded the baby rattle-turned out cute. Next is filling the cakes with the ganache and getting them into the freezer so I can shape and crumb coat, and making the fondant bows today. Oh, and I also need to finish 3 loads of laundry and get the kids to their sports this afternoon... Me so tired!!

So, I am taking over my two brown sharpies tonight. The concern is this: I do not have a beige one, only medium and dark brown.

Stay tuned.. . . . . . ....

I have those furniture markers where you start wif the lightest marker and keep adding layers till you get the color you want. They'd probably work for the brows, then you can get the exact match Want me to send em to ya??

Bevel! Those brows!

Those brows look like mine I waxed that and my 'stash last night

Sat down and watched 'The Notebook' this afternoon.... haven't stopped crying since!!!!!!

_{<I am a hopeless romantic >}

*sniff*

Told ya! I couldn't even tell anyone I watched it for 2 weeks in fear that they would ask me about it and the waterworks would start again. I think that may have been the point of time I started to question my marriage....

[jerseyangel]

.... . . .....Like, if done with a brown Sharpie, perhaps?

The Sharpie I plan to use on my mother is very like this li'l pencil tool... .. . ...I'll just need some type of gel to finish the look. Mom will probably insist on Vaseline, the old standby. . . . ......

Em is stuck on the Sharpie Poor mom....

OK, I have started the 'gift boxes' cakes for a baby shower this weekend. I have 6 8" layer cakes on my counter, I have colored the gum paste and molded the baby rattle-turned out cute. Next is filling the cakes with the ganache and getting them into the freezer so I can shape and crumb coat, and making the fondant bows today. Oh, and I also need to finish 3 loads of laundry and get the kids to their sports this afternoon... Me so tired!!

Those sound so pretty! Rah-shell=superwoman!

[kareng]

Rey schell - you always have so much energy. The cakes sound lovely. I'm also jealous that you have a freezer big enough for all those cakes.

Brows - Interesting fact about the half brows. I have had my hairdresser dye mine along with my hair because all my life mine are much darker then my hair. Gave up on that, just cost money & didn't do much good.

Last night, Hub & I were fixing dinner. I picked up the beer next to me on the counter & took a small drink. Thought "That gluten-free beer tastes different!" Looked at it & realized I had picked up Hub's beer. AGH! Hub said "Go throw up!" I said that wouldn't work. We continued on with dinner. Felt bad at bed time, spent a little time in bathroom. Had some small problems during the night. Today have a mean headache & a "delicate" stomach but not too bad - Thank God! I think the moral of this story is : Wodka - Can't be mistaken for "real" beer."

[Mtndog]

Patteigh- Please get that penthouse overlooking NYC...then I can stay wityouse when I go to my doctor!!!! Or you could move to The Jersey Shore and hang out with Snookie and Mike "The Situation" :lol: That show is whacked!

Em- Your mom can have my unibrow-like Rey-chelle and Bunnie, I am high maintenance!

OK, I have started the 'gift boxes' cakes for a baby shower this weekend. I have 6 8" layer cakes on my counter, I have colored the gum paste and molded the baby rattle-turned out cute. Next is filling the cakes with the ganache and getting them into the freezer so I can shape and crumb coat, and making the fondant bows today. Oh, and I also need to finish 3 loads of laundry and get the kids to their sports this afternoon... Me so tired!!

Told ya! I couldn't even tell anyone I watched it for 2 weeks in fear that they would ask me about it and the waterworks would start again. I think that may have been the point of time I started to question my marriage....

Those sound so beautiful!!!!! The Notebook, sigh....hang in there Rey-chelle. Sending you :wub:

[jerseyangel]

Wodka - Can't be mistaken for "real" beer."

True dat!

Pheel better, Kharrighn.

Reminds me that I dreamed last night that I ate half a pumpernickel roll before remembering I couldn't. I don't think I've ever had a "gluten dream" before--this was so realistic and when I realized what I did, I thought wth and ate the whole thing.

Woke up before I knew if I got sick

[jerseyangel]

Patteigh- Please get that penthouse overlooking NYC...then I can stay wityouse when I go to my doctor!!!!

Bevvie--I swear to gawd I mentioned this to Mark. I told him that maybe sometime we could meet up wif Bev when she sees her Lyme doc in NYC!!!!! Of course you would stay wif us.....ha--a penthouse wouldn't that be nice! As if

[kareng]

Patteigh- Please get that penthouse overlooking NYC...then I can stay wityouse when I go to my doctor!!!! Or you could move to The Jersey Shore and hang out with Snookie and Mike "The Situation" :lol: That show is whacked!

Yeah! Get a beach house. I want to see that Snookie & The Situation in real life!

[jerseyangel]

Oye....really made a mess of that one!

[jerseyangel]

The Situation

That guy cracks me up!

[jerseyangel]

Told ya! I couldn't even tell anyone I watched it for 2 weeks in fear that they would ask me about it and the waterworks would start again. I think that may have been the point of time I started to question my marriage....

Jeepers, I missed this completely....are you ok Rah-shell?

[mushroom]

Goodnight T's dad and sweet Psymon, who shall be best pals in Heaven

Amen to that; thinking of you, T

And yes, EVERYONE must be on da book!!! Tis a great rule!!! Get on it Shroomie.

My "book" would nae be a pitcher book, since I've ne'er posted a picture (successfully ) in me life. T'would be full of dense, boring text and no one would ever bovver to read it

I would require a hotel room also. Its not high maintenance, its medically necessary. That's my new excuse. Gets me out of long bus rides with teens & camping trips with scouts.

What a poifect excuse it is, too. I must use dat one.

I had o come on because Jess's poem is FAN-FU%$#ING-TASTIC!

Our Jess is truly a Renaissance woman. A scientist, a poet, a possessed crockpot owner, a builder. Jess- Really, this poem is beautiful!

I really loved Jess's kitty po-em. Only a kitteh lover could write such sweet words. :

Did y'all know that sparse or non-existent eyebrow hair on the OUTSIDE brow half is indicative of hypothyroidism? Got half-brows and low thyroid throughout my family - - me, sis, bro, and my brow-deficient mom, who must, I suppose, have virtually NO thyroid hormone naturally present... . . ..

Had to get up and go check me eyebrows -- and on the outside, talk about sparse!!! I have been ignoring them lately (letting herselph go, they say!) and hiding them behind spectacular spectacles where you can nae see them anyway, but if I didn't had the specs I would probably need the Sharpie

Told ya! I couldn't even tell anyone I watched it for 2 weeks in fear that they would ask me about it and the waterworks would start again. I think that may have been the point of time I started to question my marriage....

Rey Schell!!! Dat sounds so pserious. Hope you two can still make a go of it

Patteigh's going home!!!!!!!!!!

I love it when families *want* to be together instead of *having* to be together When they is not dysfunctional and fighting all the time When I was little I had two separate friends whose houses I would go to, and their mothers were so sweet and loving, and I wanted to go live with them. I used to ask them, "Is your mum always like this?" Always thought I was either switched at birth into the wrong family, or was a secret alien arriven in a spaceship -- that is, until I started looking uncannily like my dad --No!, No!, dirty minds, facial features only.

Pads, are you sure the boys are as happy about this as you are?? That they're not thinking, well darn, phlipping boomerang parents!! And here we thought we phinally had them stuphhed away in TexA$$!!!

No, No, I know that's not the case. That would be *me* thinkin' Spent 40 years living in CA and did nae come home to live until they were both long gone~~

So is it to be Nu Yawk, or New Joisey?? I spent a week in Newark once, waiting for our car to arrive from Germany, just before the riots Holed up in a scrungy hotel with the air conditioner blasting (t'was July and we was poor). Don't think you'd want to live there, but t'was just a short subway ride from Times Square....

Had a very unpsilly day yesterday. Went for my routine dental hygiene appt. and mentioned about this molar at the back that was feeling a bit strange for a while now. It has a crown on it, and a root canal in one of the roots, and it turns out that not only is the crown cracked, but the tooth is cracked both horizontally and vertically down into the one good root, and there is infection around the root and it's curtains for this tooth!! Now it has been nothing but a bother all my life and I should be happy to be rid of it, but I won't, because I lost the back one next to it when I was young and psilly in London and neglected it by living on codeine for a few months , and lost the one below that one in my 30's (shtoopid, soft, celiac-type teef), so when this toof goes there's not going to be a lot on that side to support my phace!!! and nothing left to chew with either, so I am probly going to have to fork out $6,000 for an implant!!! Oy vey!!! The one bright spot - I do not have osteoporosis and the x-ray shows good bone structure to hold the implant Shtoopid toof, though, and shtoopid dentist who originally worked on it and created all the problems (it cracked once before because he put too tight a crown on it ) many moons ago. Oh well, enuphhh!!

We are having lurvely autumn weather here, with nippy nights and warm, golden days. There are still some apples on my trees--must bake something appley today.

Drat! Emoticonly busted. Apologies to original authors for removal of their emoticons, and insert mine where appropriate as I have done DRASTIC editing because I didn't want to phigure out how to do a Part Deux.

[Darn210]

Reminds me that I dreamed last night that I ate half a pumpernickel roll before remembering I couldn't. I don't think I've ever had a "gluten dream" before--this was so realistic and when I realized what I did, I thought wth and ate the whole thing.

Woke up before I knew if I got sick

Perfect timing!!! Dream of eating gluten but wake up before the symptoms set in.

Speaking of unwanted hair and dreams . . . Last night I dreamt that I had chest hair . . . and it gets better . . . it was highlighted. I also dreamt that I had hair on my back but it was realy long and looked mane-like. I was trying to determine if I should wear it in a ponytail . . . oh, and the back hair had NO highlights!!

[jerseyangel]

When I was little I had two separate friends whose houses I would go to, and their mothers were so sweet and loving, and I wanted to go live with them. I used to ask them, "Is your mum always like this?" Always thought I was either switched at birth into the wrong family

I get that, Shroomie--and I had those same feelings as a child.

Pads, are you sure the boys are as happy about this as you are?? That they're not thinking, well darn, phlipping boomerang parents!! And here we thought we phinally had them stuphhed away in TexA$$!!!

Yep, quite sure. I ain't much, but the thing I'm most proud of is that I did not continue the manner in which I was raised when I became a parent. My kids and I actually like each other, and they are both glad we are moving back. We are in touch regularly, in fact I just talked to the eldest this morning (he called to see what was happenin').

It's New Jersey, but the northeastern part where it's not unusual for people to have NYC views. It's just across the river. We will still be 70 miles or so from where the kids are, but it's gonna be a heck of a lot easier to visit and do holidays than it is from here.

[celiac-mommy]

2 load of laundry down, cakes are filled and in the freezer, will shape and crumbcoat before I go to bed, it works so much better when they're frozen! Bows are cut, shaped and drying and my kitchen is almost clean!

I think the moral of this story is : Wodka - Can't be mistaken for "real" beer."

When in doubt, drink wodka!!!

Jeepers, I missed this completely....are you ok Rah-shell?

I'm OK. We're working on it, really hard. Divorce is really not an option for me, so I started seeing a therapist a few weeks ago to try to figure it all out. He refuses to see one, unfortunately, but he's trying as well. Time will tell..... Thanks for all the luvs

My "book" would nae be a pitcher book, since I've ne'er posted a picture (successfully ) in me life. T'would be full of dense, boring text and no one would ever bovver to read it

I would!!! We all would!!!

I love it when families *want* to be together instead of *having* to be together When they is not dysfunctional and fighting all the time

We do a really good job of hiding it from everyone. Even my best friends had no idea when I told them. Apparently I'm quite the actress I did talk to Madeleine's teacher about it. She said she's noticed nothing different with her behavior and would let me know if she picks up on anything, so that's good.

Speaking of unwanted hair and dreams . . . Last night I dreamt that I had chest hair . . . and it gets better . . . it was highlighted. I also dreamt that I had hair on my back but it was realy long and looked mane-like. I was trying to determine if I should wear it in a ponytail . . . oh, and the back hair had NO highlights!!

:lol: Back hair needs a nice french braid, would be so elegant! :lol:

[jerseyangel]

We're here if you need us, Rah-shell--and you know where to find me