The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Ryan and I booked the church/pastor for our wedding today! May 10!!! It makes my heart feel like it is wiggling . . . but in a good way.

I'm so excited for you two!

[Darn210]

Ryan and I booked the church/pastor for our wedding today! May 10!!! It makes my heart feel like it is wiggling . . . but in a good way.

SILLIES!!!! WE HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING TO PLAN!!!!

Somebody needs to get the yeti's tux to the dry cleaner. Somebody needs to get the care bear float out of storage. Sombody needs to buy some brightly coloUred (but not dehydrated) marshmallows for the marshmallow shooter. Somebody needs to contact Chuck Norris. And PLEASE people, lets keep this a secret from the Hoff this time!!!

Alex!! YaY!!! We're all invited, right?? If you're embarrassed of us, we don't mind saying we're with the groom.

[DingoGirl]

OK- after looking at my arse at least 15 times today (right cheek) it is red, hurts,is raised and straited (nice word Dr Julie!). After studying the crime scene in detail, it could have only been done by my left hand. Since my left arm has the PICC line in it, I could only have accomplished this while standing. Hmmm...let me think some more.

Okay....Bev.......are you quite sure it is not an image of the Madonna? this does happen a lot, you know. Look what I found the other day on ebay:

Open Original Shared Link

<franky, I think it looks more like a female body part - Mulva, if you will - than the Madonna>

YEAH!!!!!......and what coloUr???

Badly glutened = yellow or maybe mustard or GREEN!!!!!!!!! (EEEeeevil!!!!!! )...emulating warmth + moistness (GAH!)

Normal fart = Brown, dry

COME ON SUSIE!!!!!!!!! I NEED to know the coloUr code!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All right, Sillies.

The elliptical farts can be veeeeeeeeeeeeeery long adn veeeeeeeeeery skinny - - like a cigar pointed on both ends -- the length can vary quite a bit. These are ALWAYS brown, or clear in coloUr. No exceptions.

the zig zags, zippers, and wiggly-shaped farts are varying shades of brown adn green, of course.

the fluffy clouds are mostly green, sometimes opaque and sometimes clear. Also the more benign of this sort can be clear and odoUrless.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Seriously can't believe I"m telling you guys this, something my demented mind conjured up in early childhood, and SERIOUSLY can't believe how.....useful it's proving to be in my adult life.

*snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt*

Okay....okay............the man for whom I"ll vote? Even though I'm SO SO SO done w/ the war - - it's McCain!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the perfect leader for our country at this time. Alas, he will not win.

Obama will win, on charm and ethnicity.

<sorry, back to scatology..........>

All of this fart talk is making me giggle! My brother and I used to try and categorize every fart when we were little. Like farting while sneezing or laughing would be a pressure fart and farting while exercising/heavy lifting would be an exertion fart.

Ryan and I booked the church/pastor for our wedding today! May 10!!! It makes my heart feel like it is wiggling . . . but in a good way.

Alex

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the pastor! very exciting!!!!!!!!!!!! A wiggly heart is a good thing.

[Darn210]

All of this fart talk is making me giggle! My brother and I used to try and categorize every fart when we were little. Like farting while sneezing or laughing would be a pressure fart and farting while exercising/heavy lifting would be an exertion fart.

A small fart whilst urinating would be a wee fart.

[DingoGirl]

SILLIES!!!! WE HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING TO PLAN!!!!

Somebody needs to get the yeti's tux to the dry cleaner. Somebody needs to get the care bear float out of storage. Sombody needs to buy some brightly coloUred (but not dehydrated) marshmallows for the marshmallow shooter. Somebody needs to contact Chuck Norris. And PLEASE people, lets keep this a secret from the Hoff this time!!!

gaaaaaaaawd :lol: :lol:

Ummmmmm........but think about this - - the dehydrated, eviscerated, multi-coloUred marshmallows do compress well, are better perhaps for travel and then can be reconstituted into their fluffy state......just a thought.

<we are BARKING mad!!!!!!!!!!!!>

A small fart whilst urinating would be a wee fart.

*snort*

[jerseyangel]

<franky, I think it looks more like a female body part - Mulva, if you will - than the Madonna>

It really does

A small fart whilst urinating would be a wee fart.

Janet

You must be feeling better!

[Darn210]

Janet

You must be feeling better!

Tis an ibuprofen-high coupled with toilet-cleaning procrastination/aversion/avoidence.

[blueeyedmanda]

Alex very exciting news!

The Sillies all gave their silly blessing in the form of a parade on my wedding day, twas the best celebration ever! The Yeti is very well behaved too...He will impress you.

SO I was stared down by my punk neighbors when I came home from work today, So who can get the Yeti on the next train to Harrisburg, I will pick him up at anytime....I need him!

[elye]

Dear Dr. Patti, Dr. SusieQ, Dr. Julie, et al (I LOVE using that!),

Thank you all for your speculative diagnoses. I believe that Dr. Emily is correct- it is a SIGN. A sign from, upon closer inspection, our great founder Richard. He HAS been kidnapped and trapped in a job that forces him to work like a gerbil stuck in a Habitrail

This sounds like something Richard would attempt....what with his amazing photo pimpery. It is a call for help. You sure it isn't a likeness of Bob Goulet?

I'll have a sonnet in iambic pentameter to go please.

Iambic pentametre......Hmmmmmmmm.....

I have a crazy thing upon my ass,

It's huge, and swelled right up, like Mama Cass.

YEAH!!!!!......and what coloUr???

Badly glutened = yellow or maybe mustard or GREEN!!!!!!!!! (EEEeeevil!!!!!! )...emulating warmth + moistness (GAH!)

Normal fart = Brown, dry

Hmmmm......I'm going more by the smell....

Burnt umber.

Raw sienna.

All of this fart talk is making me giggle! My brother and I used to try and categorize every fart when we were little. Like farting while sneezing or laughing would be a pressure fart and farting while exercising/heavy lifting would be an exertion fart.

Categories around here, with DH: When he gets out of bed, arising fart. When he's brushing his teeth , brushing fart. When he sits down, sitting fart. Walking, walking fart. On the phone, phone fart. Eating, food fart. Drinking, drink fart. We actually have an entire catalogue.....

[elye]

SO I was stared down by my punk neighbors when I came home from work today, So who can get the Yeti on the next train to Harrisburg, I will pick him up at anytime....I need him!

Oh, Amanda, how unnerving...gad, you don't need this....

We'll get that yeti to you!

[blueeyedmanda]

Thank you, Emily!!! John said if they keep acting up tonight he will be calling the cops.

[DingoGirl]

Tis an ibuprofen-high coupled with toilet-cleaning procrastination/aversion/avoidence.

Well, there is that Kaboom cereal, there, you know. Also useful for cleaning toilets, I have heard. Special magic-action foaming marshmallows.

Hmmmm......I'm going more by the smell....

Burnt umber.

Raw sienna.

do not forget Acid Green and Yellow OchRE.

Mama Cass

Amanda......wish I were there. I'd scare the bejaysus out of them.

we'll get Yeti there right away.........I am plucking marshmallows out of his hair.

[Mtndog]

What the HELL do you put in that picc line???????? .....and I WANT SOME.....Billy Idol

:lol:

I'm so excited for you two!

Yippee!!!!!! Another wedding..more celebrations in Sillyville!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay....Bev.......are you quite sure it is not an image of the Madonna? this does happen a lot, you know. Look what I found the other day on ebay:

Open Original Shared Link

<franky, I think it looks more like a female body part - Mulva, if you will - than the Madonna>

Okay....okay............the man for whom I"ll vote? Even though I'm SO SO SO done w/ the war - - it's McCain!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the perfect leader for our country at this time. Alas, he will not win.

Obama will win, on charm and ethnicity.

A wiggly heart is a good thing.

Your new nickname is Mulva McCain :lol: cannot believe that a lemoned image of the Madonna would only go for $4.99??

SO I was stared down by my punk neighbors when I came home from work today, So who can get the Yeti on the next train to Harrisburg, I will pick him up at anytime....I need him!

Forgeti the Yeti- you need Susie and her Iroquois skull crusher! That is horrid.....

I have a crazy thing upon my ass,

It's huge, and swelled right up, like Mama Cass.

NICELY done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we'll get Yeti there right away.........I am plucking marshmallows out of his hair.

Yes- and get him a SPIKED collar for added effect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Judyin Philly]

OMG things are getting VERY STRANGE HERE IN 'TICKLE VILLE'

BEV has a hand print on her arse.........................

SUSIE.............Has been know pages back to draw 'farts' as a child.

AMANDA..............Had a stare down with a punk kid..........

PATTI........... SAID SOMETHING VERY UN PATTI LIKE 4 PAGES BACK ............BUT I FORGET

THE REST OF YOU I DON'T KNOW...........BUT....................

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....IT'S CRAZY HERE............. BUT FUN.

CARRY ON MY SILLY'S AND I'D READ.

JUDY

[psawyer]

Alex, how exciting. Another wedding for the silly crowd to celebrate.

Did you know that marriage is the leading cause of divorce? In 100% of divorces examined in a recent scientific study, the parties were married first.

On another topic, two three. So far. Updated to 10:08 pm.

And, yes, what did become of Sarah. She has been missing for over two days. Do we need to send the Yeti on a search and rescue mission in Surry County, NC?

[DingoGirl]

BEV has a hand print on her arse.........................

SUSIE.............Has been know pages back to draw 'farts' as a child.

AMANDA..............Had a stare down with a punk kid..........

PATTI........... SAID SOMETHING VERY UN PATTI LIKE 4 PAGES BACK ............BUT I FORGET

THE REST OF YOU I DON'T KNOW...........BUT....................

Yup, that sounds about right.............. :lol:

On another topic, two three. So far. Updated to 10:08 pm.

*snorrrrrrrrrrrrrt*

:lol: :lol: :lol:

the fact that Peter is playing our little game is just too funny for me.

My count today? ZERO. That's right, sillies. I expect a handful during the night, though...you never know.

Bev's av!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

So Sillies I am going to begin moonlighting at my 2nd job. I am once again going to spend some time on 2nd shift in the lab processing bloodwork. The lab is short staffed and over a year ago I started doing Overtime for them. Well in the summer it stopped, now there is a need again. They pay me at my current hourly rate and then it gets doubled. I can use the extra money right now too.

I may land there tomorrow, I sometimes know my scheudle ahead of time and sometimes I go in for people who call off. So I go from one end of the hospital to the other.

When I am down there I dont have time to pop in either, I work in the State Lab processing the high priority tests.

So I'll let you all know how I make out.

[psawyer]

Four.

[elye]

Alex, how exciting. Another wedding for the silly crowd to celebrate.

Good morning, Sillies.....

Yes, yes!! I did not mention this yesterday...HOW EXCITING, ALEX!! I smell a parade....

Did you know that marriage is the leading cause of divorce? In 100% of divorces examined in a recent scientific study, the parties were married first.

We must all get a handle on this high-risk behavior....

So Sillies I am going to begin moonlighting at my 2nd job.

processing the high priority tests.

So I'll let you all know how I make out.

Yes, please do, Amanda! This sounds like a good thing. I'm missing you already in the wee morning hours!

Four.

I think my grand total yesterday was 3. We aren't a farty bunch, are we? This is because we are a healthy bunch. We did not get an official count from Bev...she of machine-gun calibre....

[Mtndog]

I've only been awake for an hour so...uhm..three.

Yesterday was epic proprtions.....10

But I swear NONE of them were silent but deadly

No, really I swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

I missed you this morning too Em,

See this morning we had some very unexpected ice and that happened during the mornign commute making the roads a literal ice skating rink, cars sliding all over the place. We live 15 minutes from work, we left the house at 7:30 and I got to my desk at 9...the roads are terrible! Accidents everywhere. We had a few close calls with cars almost hitting us. John was driving luckily. I was sitting there shaking...not because I was cold. Everyone was getting stuck no traction....Nightmare I tell you, Nightmare!

[Mtndog]

An Uncle ray for you:

When Insults Had Class:

I like Keating's and Kerr's

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one."

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response:

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."

Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."

Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee! " Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

[jerseyangel]

Uncle Ray

[Darn210]

Bev - Excellent Quotages!!

I believe Winston Churchill would have done quite well on this Silly Thread!!!

Had to go lookin' on the net for some help to jump start the silly this morning:

What is a Cat?

Cats do what they want.

They rarely listen to you.

They're totally unpredictable.

They whine when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to be alone.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They expect you to cater to their every whim.

They're moody.

They leave hair everywhere.

They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: Cats are tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.

They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

They growl when they are not happy.

When you want to play, they want to play.

When you want to be alone, they want to play.

They are great at begging.

They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.

They leave their toys everywhere.

They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: Dogs are men in little fur coats.

[elye]

See this morning we had some very unexpected ice and that happened during the mornign commute making the roads a literal ice skating rink, cars sliding all over the place. Everyone was getting stuck no traction....Nightmare I tell you, Nightmare!

Those commutes are terrifying...we have a few each winter here in Ottawa, and most people (i.e., the feds) stay home. The school buses are cancelled, so lots of kids do, too. You may be busy at the hospital with accident victims!....Gosh, hope not....

I'm SO excited....

We've booked a HUGE, rustic, lovely chalet/condo for our skiing/falling trip in the Laurentians. There is room for twelve in this place, and we'll be nine total, so a bunch of you can come and crash on the couches. Huge, outdoor hot tub, games room with pool table, huge stone fireplace, 50" satellite TV, enormous kitchen, four baths.....

I cannot wait.

However, I am not a downhill skier...so I shall make perhaps one attempt, and then lie in the hot tub, snowshoe through the woods, and drink wine...

YOU GUYS HAVE TO COME!!!