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How Do I Attend A Wedding Dinner?

Gentleheart

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Gentleheart Enthusiast
Gentleheart
Posted

My family has been invited to a distant relative's formal wedding and dinner reception. It will probably be pretty fancy. I am really not comfortable trying to call them and explain my gluten/dairy/egg/soy intolerances and why I would need different food. I don't think caterers can be as accomodating as restaurant chefs anyway, since everything is done in such volume. Is there any innovative way to just keep this under the radar and still participate graciously? If I bring my own food, it would have to be cold things, I suppose and require my usual huge bag. I realize that I could just not eat at all. But that sure is isolating. Sometimes I get weary with always standing outside by myself on the periphery of festive occasions. I realize that success with celiac is all about attitude. But even in the best of circumstances, it's still a handicap.

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jmengert Enthusiast
jmengert
Posted

I've attended two formal weddings since being diagnosed. For the first one, I spoke with my friend (who was going to try and get food for me, but I told her not to worry about it), and I just brought my own food and ate with everyone else when dinner was served. No one at my table thought it was odd, and in fact, one person was a chef at the table and knew all about celiac disease, so we had a good chat about food and stuff. The second time, I went to an evening wedding, and I ate immediately before the wedding. I brought a snack with me and kept it in the car, but I was fine and just drank water the entire night. This was a buffet situation, and it was less noticeable that I wasn't eating, which was kind of nice.

I'm sure that some caterers can do gluten-free just fine, but I'm also soy and dairy free, and I don't eat out ever, so I don't risk it. I would just give the person who's getting married a heads up, not RSVP for food, and bring your own. It should be just fine. Or, if you would like to have food there, you could speak to the caterers yourself and see what your options are and if they are able to accommodate your food needs. Good luck, whatever you decide!

happygirl Collaborator
happygirl
Posted

I've been to quite a few weddings/rehearsal dinners (and in them) and formal dinners post gluten free. I have three coming up this summer, as well..it is wedding season! If you don't feel comfortable with their preparation of food (which I completely understand), here's what I do:

Briefly tell the bride/groom that you would like to attend but because of numerous food allergies, you want to bring your own food. They will probably graciously offer to work with the caterer, bc they want you to be included, etc. Tell them that you really appreciate it, but its really important for you to be able to attend and enjoy the day with them, and not worry about food. Tell them you will be attending but will not be eating at all (so if they have 100 guests, they should only charge for 99).

Ask the bride/groom for a contact person/phone number at the caterer. When you talk to the caterer, explain your circumstances. Tell them you are bringing your own food due to multiple allergies. Tell them that you would like them to "plate" your food for you. You'll bring it to the reception in throw away tupperware, and ask them to plate it (using only a clean plastic utensil that you provide). If it needs to be heated, have them heat it in the microwave with the lid still on, and then put it on your plate. Explain that they can't touch it, can't add garnishes, can't have utensils touch it, etc. Then they'll bring it out your plate for you, and you'll eat as normal. Sometimes I plan my meal to look "similar" to what they are serving (fish, beef, pasta, etc) and sometimes I don't.

Best of luck and I hope this helps. Enjoy the wedding!

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I recently went to a catered dinner at my daughter's sorority. I asked the organizer of the event for the name of the caterer and the contact there so I could talk to her about my food intolerances. I called the caterer, who was happy to talk to me about ingredients. As it ended up, all the food was gluten-free except for the salad and they made me a special one with no problem.

I'd just find out who the caterer is and talk to them. Don't do anything that would require additional charges, but at least you can find out if they can accomodate you or whether you need to bring something for yourself. By calling the caterer on your own, you are not making any additional work for the bride/groom ... just tell them you want the caterer's number so you can talk to them about the ingredients since you have food intolerances.

  • 1 year later...
You can eat that? Chef Newbie
You can eat that? Chef
Posted
I recently went to a catered dinner at my daughter's sorority. I asked the organizer of the event for the name of the caterer and the contact there so I could talk to her about my food intolerances. I called the caterer, who was happy to talk to me about ingredients. As it ended up, all the food was gluten-free except for the salad and they made me a special one with no problem.

I'd just find out who the caterer is and talk to them. Don't do anything that would require additional charges, but at least you can find out if they can accomodate you or whether you need to bring something for yourself. By calling the caterer on your own, you are not making any additional work for the bride/groom ... just tell them you want the caterer's number so you can talk to them about the ingredients since you have food intolerances.

I actually am a wedding caterer with Celiac, and it comes up more than people would think. I usually make ratatouille as an additional dish for those who have Celiac on polenta, it's yummy if anyone wants the recipe. I think that no matter the function, your needs should be met, it would be the same if someone needed Kosher food or was diabetic.

susieg-1 Apprentice
susieg-1
Posted

I am also attending a wedding this summer and like the suggestion of calling chef ahead. Was suprised today when visiting the college that my son will be attending in August. The cafeteria had gluten-free bread and salad dressing in addition to being able to accomodate me for dinners when family is invited as long as I call ahead. The manager took time to speak with me today without any prior notice which was great as I assumed that I would just be going without as usual.

AndrewNYC Explorer
AndrewNYC
Posted

When I have to attend events like this I just bring my own stuff. Set one of these up outside the wedding tent and grill up your owns burgers: http://hackedgadgets.com/wp-content/Hemi-Grill.webp No cross contamination worries, etc.

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Wonka Apprentice
Wonka
Posted
I actually am a wedding caterer with Celiac, and it comes up more than people would think. I usually make ratatouille as an additional dish for those who have Celiac on polenta, it's yummy if anyone wants the recipe. I think that no matter the function, your needs should be met, it would be the same if someone needed Kosher food or was diabetic.

I'd love the recipe.

  • 1 month later...
runnerjen Apprentice
runnerjen
Posted

Hi everyone,

I've been gluten-free for about 3 weeks now. My boyfriend and I were invited to a wedding in Pittsburgh in July. It's an acquaintance of my boyfriend's, not someone he's really close with, and someone I have never met.

So, I'm wondering what I should do about eating. The RSVP card lists beef, chicken or fish. So do I check on off and ask for it gluten-free? Or have my boyfriend call his friend and see what I can do? Or just bring my own food? I'd hate for them to have to pay for a meal that I'm not going to eat, but it seems like if they're having steak, maybe they could just make it plain, no sauce? Again, since I don't even know these people, I don't want to make any kind of fuss. Should I find out the caterer like suggested above?

What do I do?

Thanks!

LuvMoosic4life Collaborator
LuvMoosic4life
Posted

If I was in this situation i would most definitly call ahead and make sure I can have a meal suited to my needs. I would feel very awkward bringing my own food! but thats just me. I dont see why it would be a problem, people make rquests all the time. I've worked for catering and worked in a fast food place, you would be suprised at the amount of "strange" requests you would get. Acually, if someone asked to have something w/o gluten, that would seem very normal compared to some of the requests I've gotten working in food service!!! haha

Phyllis28 Apprentice
Phyllis28
Posted

I usually bring my own food. I ask when I get to the wedding reception if there is a place I can put my food until it is time to eat. I use a soft sided lunch box or soft sided can cooler with blue ice mats to hold my meal. When it is time to eat I get a plate and silverware from the caterer and eat with everyone else. If anyone asks, I simply explain that I have food intolerances that will make me sick so I opted to bring my own food to be on the safe side, then move on to other subjects.

As a side note, the last wedding I went to my husband was jealous. He had to eat the poor quality food served while I ate a delicious chicken salad that I brought from home.

Hope all goes well.

kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

I always call the reception place myself. It's easier for me to talk to the chef than it is for my friends to try to relay the message. You should know where the reception is being held so getting in touch with the caterer shouldn't be too much of a problem. Most wedding dinners are held at nicer places and can easily accommodate. But after talking to the catering staff, you can make the decision on whether you trust them yourself. I do bring a snack for between the ceremony and dinner - I'm not going to eat the appetizers! On the reply card, I write in "gluten-free". I've only gone to weddings of good friends so far and they know about my celiac and have usually already asked the caterer if they can accommodate.

Generic Apprentice
Generic
Posted
When I have to attend events like this I just bring my own stuff. Set one of these up outside the wedding tent and grill up your owns burgers: http://hackedgadgets.com/wp-content/Hemi-Grill.webp No cross contamination worries, etc.

I was just laughing so hard my daughter gave me a strange look. I showed her and she thought it was great. Very discreet. LOL

KaitiUSA Enthusiast
KaitiUSA
Posted

My cousin just got married last weekend and we have my husbands best friends wedding this weekend. When we went I brought my own food but i did have some fruit that was not already cut. It worked out fine. I have learned that even if they are offended it is ok because they probably don't fully understand the extent of it...in the end it comes down to you looking out for yourself.

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