Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Funny Rendition Of A Colonoscopy

irish daveyboy

Recommended Posts

irish daveyboy Community Regular
irish daveyboy
Posted

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon,

a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


MyMississippi Enthusiast
MyMississippi
Posted

:lol::lol::lol: This was soooooooo funny ! ! ! !

Thanks for posting ! :P

missy'smom Collaborator
missy'smom
Posted
:lol: Those gowns, paper or cloth, DO make you feel more naked than if you were really naked! I feel so vulnerable. I've been more comfortable in a public bath house in a foreign country where I was the only caucasian than in one of those! I should have known that it would be Dave Barry writing that. He's funny.
ohsotired Enthusiast
ohsotired
Posted

Oh how timely. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for the 28th of this month (never had one before).

I was already freaked out about it........and now............

I did actually laugh out loud while reading this though. Glad there's a humorous side to it. :unsure:

ShayFL Enthusiast
ShayFL
Posted

That was a riot. You might as well laugh at these types of things......it beats crying. :P

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

"your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food

that you have not even eaten yet."

Oh yeah! :lol::lol: That was hilarious! Yep--we may as well laugh.....

Katsby Apprentice
Katsby
Posted

lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

Mine was orange flavored and it was a while before I could look an orange in the eye again :D

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

I got pills. I'm in Ct though, maybe they have different stuff up here. And my lovely, silly mother decided that she had been constipated for too long and took a laxative the same day I was doing my prep for the colonoscopy. Nice job, Ma. We were both dancing around the bathroom holding our butts half the day.

And I REMEMBER my procedure. I guess the amnesiac effect the drugs are supposed to have didn't work on me. The nurses were laughing at me cuz I was so stoned though. Man, they inject that stuff in the Iv and three seconds later WHooooo!!!!! I didn't care what they were doing to me really, I was having a blast. Except for when you have to swallow that tube, no fun. I do remember watching them take biospies of my insides on that screen. That was interesting.

Live2BWell Enthusiast
Live2BWell
Posted

Omg, LOL - that was great :D

I had a colonoscopy on Tuesday, so that definitely gave me a good laugh. Unfortunately I had to do a few enema's(and didn't get to drink anything, which I would have rathered!) and they didn't give me enough of the verced (the twilight anesthesia) because I rememberparts of the procedure (soooo UNcool) but they did hook me up with a good cocktail, so I was feeling pretty good :rolleyes:

p.s. JNBunnie1, I hear you about watching it on the screen, that part was kind of cool :P

  • 9 months later...
larry mac Enthusiast
larry mac
Posted

Sorry about posting to an old post from a link in a new post. But that was really funny. I miss Dave Barry. He was genius. Thanks Irish Dave.

best regards, lm

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I always enjoyed Dave Barry, too :)

Amid the laughter, I will always be grateful because a colonoscopy literally saved my dad's life 35 years ago :D

Tim-n-VA Contributor
Tim-n-VA
Posted

Just to clarify for anyone who might misunderstand the past tense of some of the posts: Dave Barry is still alive and writing books. He just quit writing a weekly column.

flourgirl Apprentice
flourgirl
Posted

I've always loved Barrys sense of humor too! Thanks for posting this Dave :lol:

When I had my proceedure I was already in serious trouble with The Big D and nausea! I don't think I got over the Movie Prep for a looooonnnnggg time. I STILL can't abide the very thought of ginger-ale, which I used to mix with. I've never had anything so disgusting. BUTT (heh heh) this very thing saved my life, because it was decided to do an endo at the same time, and so I got a diagnosis!!!! Good things sometimes do come in small (prep) boxes :DB)

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Gads, that was SO funny. "Think missile lifting off" :lol: :lol: :lol:

T'was an experience I'll never forget, but my prep was called something different (but was equally foul). And then I had to do it all again the very next week for a scan!! All that salt!! My ankles swelled and have never gone down since :( :(

  • 1 year later...
jackay Enthusiast
jackay
Posted

I just came home from the drugstore with my Movi-Prep so decided I better google it and make sure this it is gluten free. This is the what I was lead to. Did I ever laugh. I think it will give me the humor I need to get through the prep and procedure. I'm thankful I don't know the person doing it.

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Thank heavens for humor!

cahill Collaborator
cahill
Posted

OMG I laughed right out loud,lol

Thank you for bumping this thread,,,,

** cation ** do not have a mouth full of rice crackers while reading this thread :D **

sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Just think, jackay...you'll be half-prepped before you start the prep!!! :lol: I was also!

Yes, I can relate after surviving a colonoscopy shortly before Christmas. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't read this hilarious rendition beforehand. Hahaha

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,685
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    tdouglas2901
    Newest Member
    tdouglas2901
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Draft gluten-free ciders… can they be trusted ?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      I'd go with a vodka tonic, but that's just me😉
    • Rejoicephd
      Draft gluten-free ciders… can they be trusted ?

      By Rejoicephd · Posted

      That and my nutritionist also said that drinking cider is one of the worst drink choices for me, given that I have candida overgrowth.  She said the combination of the alcohol and sugar would be very likely to worsen my candida problem.  She suggested that if I drink, I go for clear vodka, either neat or with a splash of cranberry.   So in summary, I am giving ciders a rest.  Whether it's a gluten risk or sugars and yeast overgrowth, its just not worth it.
    • Inkie
      Tea Bags and Gluten

      By Inkie · Posted

      Thank you for the information ill will definitely bring it into practice .
    • Scott Adams
      Tea Bags and Gluten

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      While plain, pure tea leaves (black, green, or white) are naturally gluten-free, the issue often lies not with the tea itself but with other ingredients or processing. Many flavored teas use barley malt or other gluten-containing grains as a flavoring agent, which would be clearly listed on the ingredient label. Cross-contamination is another possibility, either in the facility where the tea is processed or, surprisingly, from the tea bag material itself—some tea bags are sealed with a wheat-based glue. Furthermore, it's important to consider that your reaction could be to other substances in tea, such as high levels of tannins, which can be hard on the stomach, or to natural histamines or other compounds that can cause a non-celiac immune response. The best way to investigate is to carefully read labels for hidden ingredients, try switching to a certified gluten-free tea brand that uses whole leaf or pyramid-style bags, and see if the reaction persists.
    • Scott Adams
      Inconclusive results

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      This is a challenging and confusing situation. The combination of a positive EMA—which is a highly specific marker rarely yielding false positives—alongside strongly elevated TTG on two separate occasions, years apart, is profoundly suggestive of celiac disease, even in the absence of biopsy damage. This pattern strongly aligns with what is known as "potential celiac disease," where the immune system is clearly activated, but intestinal damage has not yet become visible under the microscope. Your concern about the long-term risk of continued gluten consumption is valid, especially given your family's experience with the consequences of delayed diagnosis. Since your daughter is now at an age where her buy-in is essential for a gluten-free lifestyle, obtaining a definitive answer is crucial for her long-term adherence and health. Given that she is asymptomatic yet serologically positive, a third biopsy now, after a proper 12-week challenge, offers the best chance to capture any microscopic damage that may have developed, providing the concrete evidence needed to justify the dietary change. This isn't about wanting her to have celiac; it's about wanting to prevent the insidious damage that can occur while waiting for symptoms to appear, and ultimately giving her the unambiguous "why" she needs to accept and commit to the necessary treatment. This article might be helpful. It breaks down each type of test, and what a positive results means in terms of the probability that you might have celiac disease. One test that always needs to be done is the IgA Levels/Deficiency Test (often called "Total IGA") because some people are naturally IGA deficient, and if this is the case, then certain blood tests for celiac disease might be false-negative, and other types of tests need to be done to make an accurate diagnosis. The article includes the "Mayo Clinic Protocol," which is the best overall protocol for results to be ~98% accurate.    
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.