Need Help Settling A Gluten Disagreement

[sariesue]

I'm going to preface my dilemma by saying that this is my first Christmas both Gluten free and married. So I'm finding it a little stressful and confusing. Oh, and all parties involved are aware that I am gluten free except my husband's grandmother who has significant alzhemiers and is rather estranged from the family.

My husband's family all gets together Christmas Eve for dinner at his Aunt's house. She asked me to bring rolls. Since I feel that holiday things should be home made and not store bought, my plan is to make two different batches of gluten free rolls and bring them. That way there are more than enough rolls, and there will hopefully be one people like. My husband doesn't have a problem with that. The problem is do I tell them that the rolls are all gluten free before dinner? My husband thinks that I should tell them that the rolls are gluten free before the meal. I think that it's not needed. Rolls are rolls and I don't want them to not try them because they are gluten free. I refuse to bring things I can't eat so bringing gluten rolls isn't an option.

I'm just looking for other opinions on the situation.

My first batch of rolls look fluffy light gluten dinner rolls. If that changes anyone's response.

[missy'smom]

I wouldn't tell them.

I once sent a pan of homemade coco krispy treats to my son's class. He made the innocent mistake of declaring that they were gluten-free. Not one kid ate one, not even the teacher! He was so sad and I was so mad! It's ridiculous because they were just marshmallows, butter and a gluten-free brand of cereal that many people who are not gluten-free buy. I was so greatful that the kids on the bus and in the neighborhood on they way home were happy to dig in so some were gone by the time he reached home.

I'm sure we all here can share stories of how friends and family liked our rolls not just because they were supporting us but because the actually liked the rolls.

Wrap those rolls up in some foil and warm them in the oven before serving. You may consider not even mentioning it after they eat them unless it comes up.

[Takala]

Rolls are.... not rolls.

I can't eat some of the common ingredients in gluten free baking, and neither can other people. What I can eat are common allergens for others. If the tables were turned, and this was fed to somebody with an allergy or intolerance, and you tried passing these gluten-free rolls off to somebody expecting a wheat bun, without dairy, eggs or nuts, for example, you contradict our common call for accuracy in food labeling as to avoid sickness and injury.

You should definitely bring both kinds if you are the sole "roll" provider, and make sure they are labeled, I suggest you bring bakery rolls for the regular ones, and send your new spouse to fetch and handle them.

[rosetapper23]

Since you don't mention any food sensitivities that your new in-laws might have, I wouldn't worry about telling them that your rolls are gluten free. However, just in case, I would do as the poster above suggested and have your hubbie bring some "regular" rolls if people notice that yours are "different." If even one person inquires as to why the consistency is different, you'll need to spill the beans...and then people might ignore the rolls for the rest of the evening. If asked, you might even say, "Oh, some are gluten free and others aren't," and then people won't be able to choose only the gluteny ones.

[sariesue]

Rolls are.... not rolls.

I can't eat some of the common ingredients in gluten free baking, and neither can other people. What I can eat are common allergens for others. If the tables were turned, and this was fed to somebody with an allergy or intolerance, and you tried passing these gluten-free rolls off to somebody expecting a wheat bun, without dairy, eggs or nuts, for example, you contradict our common call for accuracy in food labeling as to avoid sickness and injury.

You should definitely bring both kinds if you are the sole "roll" provider, and make sure they are labeled, I suggest you bring bakery rolls for the regular ones, and send your new spouse to fetch and handle them.

I think that people who have known allergies or intolerances would ask about the offending ingredients before assuming that it ok to eat. For example the gluten rolls I would have brought would have both dairy and eggs. They have buttermilk and are brushed with egg. The only unusual ingredient in either recipe is a small amount of xanthum gum, which is actually in many main stream products. I don't know a single person who has a food allergy or intolerance who doesn't ask about the ingredient they can't have before eating unlabeled foods. Plus these people are were ok after eating the gluten free birthday cake my mother in law bought from a gluten free bakery.

The common call is for packaged goods. Not homemade items. The rolls I'm bringing are all homemade. Plus, I'm not saying that I'm going to lie and say that the rolls I made are gluten rolls.

[sariesue]

Since you don't mention any food sensitivities that your new in-laws might have, I wouldn't worry about telling them that your rolls are gluten free. However, just in case, I would do as the poster above suggested and have your hubbie bring some "regular" rolls if people notice that yours are "different." If even one person inquires as to why the consistency is different, you'll need to spill the beans...and then people might ignore the rolls for the rest of the evening. If asked, you might even say, "Oh, some are gluten free and others aren't," and then people won't be able to choose only the gluteny ones.

If they ask I will tell them the truth, I just don't see the need to announce it.

[IrishHeart]

Since they all know you are gluten-free, I find it ironic/humorous that your job was to bring the rolls.

Certainly, they know you will not be baking gluteny ones, so do they assume you will be bringing only gluten-free ones??

Sometimes people have a preconceived notion of what gluten-free foods may taste like and not want to even try them.

Getting them to be light and fluffy is not easy--so KUDDOS!

I wonder what would happen if you just brought them and said nothing and waited until everyone said "These are delicious" and you said "Aren't they? They are gluten-free!"

You could always have a stash of gluteny rolls in the car if anyone wants them, just to be nice IMHO

ETA: as a side note, I am providing all gluten-free goodies at my house for Christmas Eve dining and no one has asked me if they should bring any gluteny rolls.

[mamaw]

My two cents from on old-timer!

When I'm invited to anyone's home for dinner & I'm to bring a dish I ask what to bring & if they care if its gluten-free ... Every one knows we are totally gluten-free but I always ask to be polite.....For breads I would buy wheat rolls & take some gluten-free for me & others who may wish to try gluten-free.. This way we are educating people who are not eating gluten-free to have an understanding of our gluten-free food.. They find it is very good tasting & enjoyable.. I get please bring the gluten-free version....all the time..

It is not worth the hassle of arguing about a small thing as this & maybe wreck a friendship..some things just need to tucked away & forgotten.

You say you are newly married as well... pick your battles wisely... this one just isn't worth the energy to battle...

I see no big deal in taking both .....

peace

[kareng]

I'm going to preface my dilemma by saying that this is my first Christmas both Gluten free and married. So I'm finding it a little stressful and confusing. Oh, and all parties involved are aware that I am gluten free except my husband's grandmother who has significant alzhemiers and is rather estranged from the family.

My husband's family all gets together Christmas Eve for dinner at his Aunt's house. She asked me to bring rolls. Since I feel that holiday things should be home made and not store bought, my plan is to make two different batches of gluten free rolls and bring them. That way there are more than enough rolls, and there will hopefully be one people like. My husband doesn't have a problem with that. The problem is do I tell them that the rolls are all gluten free before dinner? My husband thinks that I should tell them that the rolls are gluten free before the meal. I think that it's not needed. Rolls are rolls and I don't want them to not try them because they are gluten free. I refuse to bring things I can't eat so bringing gluten rolls isn't an option.

I'm just looking for other opinions on the situation.

My first batch of rolls look fluffy light gluten dinner rolls. If that changes anyone's response.

Just a thought but...aren't people going to be a bit confused when you bring your own dinner and don't eat any of the other gluteny or cc'd foods? Not sure you could hide the fact that the rolls are gluten-free.

You were probably asked to bring rolls because they forgot about the gluten-free, or wanted you to bring ones you could eat or they thought you would just buy them and that would be easy .

[codetalker]

I see no reason to mention it.

There used to be a gluten-free bakery in Phila called Mr. Ritt's, which made incredible high end baked goods. They came to a local support meeting one time. During the meeting, they mentioned that they had contracts with some of the local Phila hotels. They supplied breads, rolls, cakes, cookies, etc. which were gluten-free but not labeled as such. Hence, people eating at these hotels were eating gluten-free baked goods without being aware to it.

My response to someone who feels labeling is necessary would be that they should not be selective and label only the gluten-free meal items. Rather, they should advocate labeling of all items with any of the common allergens, such as soy, milk, eggs, nuts, etc. In fact, they should probably play it safe and exclude all nut items, esp those containing peanuts. Alternatively, they could allow serving of nut items only in an out-building such as a garden shed or such.

[Mrslmc]

Just a thought but...aren't people going to be a bit confused when you bring your own dinner and don't eat any of the other gluteny or cc'd foods? Not sure you could hide the fact that the rolls are gluten-free.

You were probably asked to bring rolls because they forgot about the gluten-free, or wanted you to bring ones you could eat or they thought you would just buy them and that would be easy .

I don't think people will have a problem if they are gluten free. Just say 'I baked these myself and they're gluten free if anyone wants to try them, bring another option if you think people won't try them.

I had a dinner for my family and inlaws at the weekend. I used all gluten free recipies, made gluten free tomato and basil bread and wheat free sticky toffee pudding. Everyone thought everything was delishes, they probably tried them just to be polite, but ended up really enjoying them.

So go ahead present your own and watch the surprised looks at how tasty they are

[bumblebee-carnival]

If they ask I will tell them the truth, I just don't see the need to announce it.

I second this. It's kind of weird that they asked you to bring rolls since they know you are gluten free. Maybe next year or for other holidays, I'd ask if you can bring a vegetable or side dish.

[Katrala]

I can't eat some of the common ingredients in gluten free baking, and neither can other people. What I can eat are common allergens for others. If the tables were turned, and this was fed to somebody with an allergy or intolerance, and you tried passing these gluten-free rolls off to somebody expecting a wheat bun, without dairy, eggs or nuts, for example, you contradict our common call for accuracy in food labeling as to avoid sickness and injury.

You should definitely bring both kinds if you are the sole "roll" provider, and make sure they are labeled, I suggest you bring bakery rolls for the regular ones, and send your new spouse to fetch and handle them.

I can't think of allergens in gluten-free rolls that aren't present in most gluten rolls.

Plus, people with allergies typically ask. Especially for homemade goods.

I don't see the need to point out they are gluten-free. They asked for rolls, you're bringing rolls. If they don't like them, they likely won't ask you to bring rolls next year.

If someone asks, tell them.

[ciamarie]

I can't think of allergens in gluten-free rolls that aren't present in most gluten rolls.

Plus, people with allergies typically ask. Especially for homemade goods.

I don't see the need to point out they are gluten-free. They asked for rolls, you're bringing rolls. If they don't like them, they likely won't ask you to bring rolls next year.

If someone asks, tell them.

+1

And if they are as good as they sound, I hope you'll share the recipe in the recipes topic! Or this one...

[Lisa]

I don't see the need to point out they are gluten-free. They asked for rolls, you're bringing rolls. If they don't like them, they likely won't ask you to bring rolls next year.

If someone asks, tell them.

I like this answer too. Life is way too complicated, especially in our lives. Keep it simple for yourself and enjoy your holiday.

[StephanieL]

I don't ask "is it okay if it's XYZ/gluten free?" because if I am bringing it, they can eat it or not! If they don't like "vegan/veg/allergy friendly/gluten-free" they'll pass just like if they don't like peas or carrots! Also, because so many people ASSume that these kinds of foods taste bad, it's kind of nice for them not to know and take one, like it and find out AFTER that it's gluten-free!

I agree that if they don't like them the won't ask you to bring them again next year

[Gemini]

I think that people who have known allergies or intolerances would ask about the offending ingredients before assuming that it ok to eat. For example the gluten rolls I would have brought would have both dairy and eggs. They have buttermilk and are brushed with egg. The only unusual ingredient in either recipe is a small amount of xanthum gum, which is actually in many main stream products. I don't know a single person who has a food allergy or intolerance who doesn't ask about the ingredient they can't have before eating unlabeled foods. Plus these people are were ok after eating the gluten free birthday cake my mother in law bought from a gluten free bakery.

The common call is for packaged goods. Not homemade items. The rolls I'm bringing are all homemade. Plus, I'm not saying that I'm going to lie and say that the rolls I made are gluten rolls.

I wouldn't worry about whether or not anyone else has a food sensitivity because you are right...it would have been brought up or the person with issues would certainly be checking the food ingredients before eating them.

You were asked specifically to bring rolls and you do gluten free ones. I wouldn't tell anyone either because there's no need to......homemade gluten-free rolls taste as good, if not better than the gluten ones. I love not telling people and then wait for their look of surprise when they realize the gluten-free ones are delicious. Why is there always a big issue with people over what's in the rolls? Do people get as uptight when eating ethnic food? I have found that gluten eaters will eat anything and not question what's in them. Most people don't know what's in the food their eating anyway!

Make the gluten-free ones...what a treat! Homemade rolls!

[Googles]

Just remember to grab your own rolls before people start passing them around and possibly cc'ing them. As soon as they touch food with gluten and then the rolls, you have the potential of cc.

I also agree that you don't have to make an announcement of it. If they ask you can tell them, otherwise go and enjoy. It would be weird (I think) for you to bring (or them to expect) you to bring something you can't eat.

[Juliebove]

I would bring both. People won't like the gluten-free ones even if you don't tell them. If you do tell them they won't try them. In my mind there is no sense spending more money to make gluten-free stuff for people who don't need them. Just buy the wheat rolls. Nobody will care that you bought them.

Frankly I would be far more worried about the rest of the meal.

[Strawberry-Jam]

Screw gluten. I wouldn't pay for it. Buying gluteny things just props up the system that keeps us down, yo!

if they don't like your gluten-free rolls, they can deal. they can load up on stuffing or whatever else they want to put in their faces.

I think it's cruel to have to bring food you can't eat to an event, boughtten or not.

[Katrala]

I would bring both. People won't like the gluten-free ones even if you don't tell them. If you do tell them they won't try them. In my mind there is no sense spending more money to make gluten-free stuff for people who don't need them. Just buy the wheat rolls. Nobody will care that you bought them.

Frankly I would be far more worried about the rest of the meal.

I don't necessarily agree that people won't like them even if you say they are gluten-free. There are good gluten-free rolls and then there are gluten-free rolls that pay homage to the stereotype we try to avoid.

However, I do think you bring up a good point regarding cost. The cost of making gluten-free rolls for a large group of people can be quite large.

At my family gatherings, most food is homemade, but the rolls are actually one thing that we typically buy.

Is it possible the family asked you to bring rolls because they thought it would be something you could just buy instead of having to make? Maybe they thought they were making it easier on you?

[tarnalberry]

I'm in the "don't advertise" camp. Not that you shouldn't tell people if they ask what's in them or if they are gluten free or why you are eating them, of course. But you are gluten free and you were asked to bring rolls - it's not an unreasonable assumption that you are going to bring gluten free ones. I would, also, only do this if you can bring gluten free rolls that are suitably good. Maybe they don't have to fool people that they're wheat, but that they are good enough in their own right to eat. (And face it, who hasn't had someone bring something to a dinner that, frankly, isn't that good, regardless of ingredients?)

When I made cookies to hand out as gifts this year, I didn't think twice about giving a whole bunch of non-gluten free people gluten-free cookies. (One was even vegan - gasp!) Everyone *LOVED* them (and I posted a link to the recipes a few days ago . ) I did get one friend asking if one of the cookies was gluten free *and* vegan, because he didn't think they could taste quite that amazingly good with so many "modifications" in a recipe. But it was more a confirmation question, like "those are gluten free, aren't they?", than anything else.

[GFinDC]

Ok, so is your husband not going to tell his family they are gluten-free rolls? Has he been sworn to a code of roll silence?

If I was him I'd be spillin' the beans for sure. What if they eat them and then discover they are gluten-free and didn't know it before hand? Good heavens, Christmas dinner ruined by a shocking subterfuge!

Just tell them they are gluten-free because you are gluten-free. That way if they have a problem they can bring their own gluteney rolls. They are going to find out you eat gluten-free eventually, and they may even accept that part of your husband's and their son's life. People are actually reasonable sometimes! What will happen next Christmas? Will everyone look at you wondering if you are sneaking gluten-free food into their Christmas dinner? Or will they wonder what wonderful new gluten-free food you will bring that they never had before? Easy way out, tell, reveal, disclose.

Sometimes people put a little cocoa powder in gluten-free baked goods to give them a darker color.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas!