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Family Troubles

PicturePerfect

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PicturePerfect Explorer
PicturePerfect
Posted

Hey!

I am having some trouble with my family. None of them have Celiac, and so they want to go out to eat more often. That is fine with me..... except that they want me to come. It is a huge problem on this coming up vacation to Idaho especially, and they keep saying that the hotel we are staying at is a very nice one. The chef will come out and all of that, but I DO NOT want to get sick on vacation! I would be happier if I just had a hot dog and chips or something up in the hotel room. I keep telling them that, but its like they have their ears turned off or something. What should I do/say? Should I just go to the hotel restaurant and face the consequences? :unsure:

Lisa

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SandraNinTO Rookie
SandraNinTO
Posted
:huh: Oh wow. I've been there. How long will you be there? I would call the hotel and tell the chef. Also, try to get a microwave in your room. You can do the cold cereal / milk for breakfast or I can send you my microwave breakfast polenta recipe. Alternatively you can do the omelette in a clean pan request at the restaurant. Hmm......lunches. The salad bar gets a bit thin after a while, eh? Don't want you to starve. Grilled fish? Baked potatoes are safe. See if they'll send you an advance copy of the menu. Isn't it lovely to order straight from the menu? You can ask for any pasta sauce (if you think it's safe) over mashed potatoes or over rice. If you can (and if you're a hermit like me) ask for the chef's e-mail address and e-mail back and forth a few times until you know what you can order. Good luck! Sandra in Toronto
jenvan Collaborator
jenvan
Posted

I'd have a real frank convo with your family about it. If they are still unwilling to compromise at times and you have to go out there are a few things you can do. When the restaurant I have to go to seems like it will difficult, I will eat something before and then bring something to snack on at the restaurant or get a drink. Sometimes I will bring my own gluten-free sauce and put it over plain grilled meat or steamed veggies/rice. Read this post below for other tips for eating out:

Open Original Shared Link

I do not eat out as often as I once did...but I don't think it would be a good idea to "never go out and eat again..." However, I think it is a wise to take it slow on eating out if you are newly diagnosed... Knowing how to make safe choices will get easier for you in time... Good luck!

MySuicidalTurtle Enthusiast
MySuicidalTurtle
Posted

You could eat what you want to eat and then go to dinner with them ans just not eat.

Jen H Contributor
Jen H
Posted

I agree with suicidal turtle. Since I'm new to celiac disease, I've eaten at home a few times and then I'll just get something to drink at the restaurant. That way I don't risk being glutenized, but I also spend time with my family/friends. My family said that they enjoy my company at the restaurant even though I don't always eat with them.

:) Jen

Jnkmnky Collaborator
Jnkmnky
Posted

How about another perspective?? :D I think you sound fearful and like you're withdrawing. :( Now don't get mad at me for saying this... but I think your family is looking out for best interests -- as they see them-- not as you see them. Celiac Disease has never kept our family from going out to eat, going cross country, vacationing, etc. We've never glutened the celiac disease kid on any trip either... or at a restaurant. At the school's christmas bake sale...well, dad bought him a rice krispy treat made with regular MALT filled rice krisyps. :o Anyway, if you were not a social person who enjoyed going out to meals with friends and family BEFORE your dx, then fine. Stay in your hotel room and be safe from every opportunistic gluten crumb out there. If you were a social person who enjoyed the company of friends and family prior to your dx and going out for meals with them was a joy... Then you need to think about that and maybe consider that you're in those bluesie justbeendx stages of a life changes disease. Depression is sneaky. Could you be showing signs and symptoms of that that your family is trying to counter? :unsure:

KaitiUSA Enthusiast
KaitiUSA
Posted

I would bring stuff along and eat before you go out with them. You could always just order a drink then and not eat because of cross contamination. They may not understand but don't let them pressure you because you will be the one who pays if you get glutened and that just would not be good.

If you do want to eat there I would definitely make a call ahead of time to see if they can accomodate you and have a good policy.

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PicturePerfect Explorer
PicturePerfect
Posted
  • Author

Thanks for the help, guys! I'll try your suggestions!! It sucks though because I do WANT to eat with them. I would be happy if I could just heat something up before and then just have a drink at dinner, but we will not have a microwave. <_< Do you think that the hotel will let me use their kitchen???? I guess it can't hurt to ask! :D

celiac3270 Collaborator
celiac3270
Posted

I think that it's entirely understandable that you wouldn't want to eat out--I didn't either. Now I have everything under control and no gluten in my regular, everyday life. Three months in, you're still learning, cutting, etc. It is often suggested (by support groups, others) that you not eat out until you've completely healed and such. This way you'll know if you mess up and you'll feel more comfortable. I would eat out now, but not two-three months into the diet.

PicturePerfect Explorer
PicturePerfect
Posted
  • Author
I think that it's entirely understandable that you wouldn't want to eat out--I didn't either.  Now I have everything under control and no gluten in my regular, everyday life.  Three months in, you're still learning, cutting, etc.  It is often suggested (by support groups, others) that you not eat out until you've completely healed and such.  This way you'll know if you mess up and you'll feel more comfortable.  I would eat out now, but not two-three months into the diet.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wait.. do you mean two-three months into feeling better.. or actually having the diet?

celiac3270 Collaborator
celiac3270
Posted

I meant the diet, but it could be either. Seven months in I didn't want to eat out, either, because I still felt just as sick. So at least a few months, maybe more if you don't feel well yet.

jkmunchkin Rising Star
jkmunchkin
Posted

I'm not a teenager but I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.

I don't think you need to be so scared of eating out. I've been gluten-free for less than 2 months and I eat out in one form or another every day. Part of my job is being social and going out for lunches. The people I work the closest with are all aware of my situation so while they have started to jokingly refer to me as Meg Ryan I just make sure to ask plenty of questions before ordering and go with what is most likely the safest items. For instance if we are just grabbing something from a deli I make sure we go to a deli that has Boar's Head cold cuts and have them wrapped in lettuce (making sure they prepare it on paper rather than just the counter). Or if we go to a restaurant I'll order a burger with no bun (and make sure they don't add breadcrumbs).

Ofcourse you need to be careful, but in my experience so far most restaurants are very accomodating and very careful once you tell them that you have a food allergy and are not just being a pain in the butt. (I know it's an intolerance but I find people understand better if you describe it as an allergy).

SandraNinTO Rookie
SandraNinTO
Posted

Really? Every time I tried describing it as an allergy they were afraid they'd kill me and closed up. If I tell them it's a digestive disorder they were less afraid and more willing to help.

Has anyone out there got tips on carrying food in the backpack or purse? i.e. spill proof bottles for gluten-free soy sauce or salad dressing?

Also, just a comment re: the bread basket. It's getting easier to say "no bread for me thanks". Wait staff seem to hear it all the time from the low-carb crowd.

KaitiUSA Enthusiast
KaitiUSA
Posted
Ofcourse you need to be careful, but in my experience so far most restaurants are very accomodating and very careful once you tell them that you have a food allergy and are not just being a pain in the butt. (I know it's an intolerance but I find people understand better if you describe it as an allergy).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, in my experience people take it more seriously if you describe it as an allergy.However, I learned that saying an autoimmune disorder will get their attention too. Alot of times I will say that gluten will tear up my intestines and can put me at high risk for cancer and other things and that I will die prematurely. That pretty much gets their attention if I say that and some have questions about it and some don't

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    • Mari
      My only proof

      By Mari · Posted

      Years  ago a friend and I drove north into Canada hoping to find a ski resort open in late spring,We were in my VW and found a small ski area near a small town and started up this gravelled road up a mountain. We  got about halfway up and got stuck in the mud. We tried everything we could think of but an hour later we were still stuck. Finally a pickup came down the road, laughed at our situation, then pulled the VW free of the mud. We followed him back to the ski area where where he started up the rope ski lift and we had an enjoyable hour of skiing and gave us a shot of aquavit  before we left.It was a great rescue.  In some ways this reminds me of your situation. You are waiting for a rescue and you have chosen medical practitioners to do it now or as soon as possible. As you have found out the med. experts have not learned how to help you. You face years of continuing to feel horrible, frustrated searching for your rescuer to save you. You can break away from from this pattern of thinking and you have begun breaking  away by using some herbs and supplements from doTerra. Now you can start trying some of the suggestions thatother Celiacs have written to your original posts.  You live with other people who eat gluten foods. Cross contamination is very possible. Are you sure that their food is completely separate from their food. It  is not only the gluten grains you need to avoid (wheat, barley, rye) but possibly oats, cows milk also. Whenever you fall back into that angry and frustrated way of thinking get up and walk around for a whild. You will learn ways to break that way of thinking about your problems.  Best wishes for your future. May you enjpy a better life.  
    • marion wheaton
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By marion wheaton · Posted

      Thanks for responding. I researched further and Lindt Lindor chocolate balls do contain barely malt powder which contains gluten. I was surprised at all of the conflicting information I found when I checked online.
    • trents
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By trents · Posted

      @BlessedinBoston, it is possible that in Canada the product in question is formulated differently than in the USA or at least processed in in a facility that precludes cross contamination. I assume from your user name that you are in the USA. And it is also possible that the product meets the FDA requirement of not more than 20ppm of gluten but you are a super sensitive celiac for whom that standard is insufficient. 
    • BlessedinBoston
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By BlessedinBoston · Posted

      No,Lindt is not gluten free no matter what they say on their website. I found out the hard way when I was newly diagnosed in 2000. At that time the Lindt truffles were just becoming popular and were only sold in small specialty shops at the mall. You couldn't buy them in any stores like today and I was obsessed with them 😁. Took me a while to get around to checking them and was heartbroken when I saw they were absolutely not gluten free 😔. Felt the same when I realized Twizzlers weren't either. Took me a while to get my diet on order after being diagnosed. I was diagnosed with small bowel non Hodgkins lymphoma at the same time. So it was a very stressful time to say the least. Hope this helps 😁.
    • knitty kitty
      My only proof

      By knitty kitty · Posted

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