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People Not Taking You Seriously
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53 posts in this topic

How do you deal with family members and friends who don't take you seriously?

I discovered I have celiac disease and went gluten free 6 months ago. The problem is I've been living abroad for several years so my family has not witnessed my symptoms. All these years I hid from them that I suffered from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue as well as constant GI symptoms and mental health issues, etc...

And so I'm visiting them this summer and they seem to think going gluten free has only been a diet choice, nothing dangerous. I tried telling them about the symptoms I was getting. Also, my mother has suffered the same symptoms all her life and suffers from cerebellar ataxia and has had difficulty walking for a few years as a result of gluten. I tried explaining this to them and that if I carried on eating gluten, I'd end up like this too. But it's like their face goes blank and they stop listening at this point.

So I feel like I constantly have to defend myself. They especially don't understand why I'm being careful with cross contamination and get annoyed each time I say I can't eat something.

For example, I was making gluten free pasta at my aunt's house the other day and she wanted me to use her colander. I said I'd rather not as they use it for wheat pasta all the time. But she was arguing that it's fine and that it's washed very well. I still said no, but she wouldn't let go.

Or another example of annoying conversations we have is:

Aunt: "can you eat doughnuts?"

Me: "No, unless they are gluten free"

Aunt: "I have some doughnuts in the fridge, can you eat those?"

Me: "Most likely not as doughnuts are generally made from wheat flour unless you took them in the gluten free section, but no one buys baked goods in the gluten free section unless they're looking for gluten free specifically"

Aunt: "You never know, maybe I grabbed gluten free doughnuts without realising, let's have a look"

- So Aunt gets up, walks to the fridge and brings me the doughnuts -

Me: "No seriously, they will be made of wheat. You don't go to gluten free bakeries or shop in the gluten free section unless you are gluten free. It's not something you just stumble on accidently. There are not enough gluten free products on the market for that to happen, unfortunately."

Aunt: "You don't know that. You don't know until you read the ingredients."

- Aunt hands me the doughnuts -

Aunt: "Go on, check the ingredients"

Me: "Fine"

Me: "First ingredient - wheat flour"

Aunt: "ah"

Aunt: "But I have biscuits too, can you eat those?"

Me: "No, biscuits are made of gluten too"

Aunt: "But maybe these are made with gluten free flour"

Me: "No, as I said, baked goods on the market are very rarely gluten free"

Aunt: "Why don't you just look at the ingredients before dismissing them?"

Me: "Because I know they contain gluten! These things are made with wheat flour!"

- Aunt gets up and gets the biscuits and makes me read the ingredients -

Me: "Made with WHEAT FLOUR"

Aunt: "Ah, well what about these other biscuits?"

Me: "As I said, baked goods are generally a no..."

*Sighs*

And so on.... And it gets tiring for me... and them...

And the problem is, they raise the gluten issue in every conversation. And when I respond they always seem tired and bored of me talking about gluten. Well then why don't they just let me eat what I want and stop questing and interfering. :rolleyes:

Is anyone in the same situation? How do you deal with that? :rolleyes:

(rant over)

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It gets frustrating. It is why sometimes the best family is people you aren't related to. It takes a long time to adjust to being gluten-free. I started last fall after symptoms kicked in following the flu. It has taken me some time to adjust and for gluten-free to be automatic. Yes, I sometimes have issues with friends. I took almost all my own food while camping with friends last week. With any of their gluten-free food I made sure I was "first in line." Even with that my "brother" asked if I wanted a second helping of the (gluten-free) BBQ, and I said, "no, there is always the risk of cc." He said there was no cc, and we went back and forth until I said someone was eating the non-gluten-free potato chip crumbs and they could have... There are so many sitcoms. seems like Celiac would be a good one. It is important to be anal retentive when it comes to gluten. Even 6 months later my friends ask if coconuts are gluten-free, etc. But they are learning, and more importantly, they sometimes make gluten-free allowances just for me. A friend made me a gluten-free birthday cake last night and kept all the ingredients for me to look at first. With all the frustrations, I find it best to step back and remember all of the things to be grateful for, the friends that invite me to gatherings and accept that I will bring my own food, the acceptance of my limitations, and that chocolate is gluten-free. Your family has lack of knowledge about gluten intolerance and where the nasty molecule lurks, but they also may be in denial and this can take a long time to dissipate. Could there also be a bit of "yanking your chain" to get a reaction from you?

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I don't have much help as far as dealing with family. We all have allergies and are used to reading labels and whatnot.

The thing that struck me about your story is that your mother needs celiac tests. You know celiac can cause cerebellar ataxia, right? If it's at all possible you need to drag your mother to the doctor and get her tested for anti-gliadin IgA. She may not come up positive on the other tests because they're for gut damage.

Good luck staying healthy during your visit and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

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yes! you need to drag your mother to get tested.... im "THIS CLOSE" to dragging my dad in ..

i COMPLETELy understand- in addition to family- its everybody else too.... looking at u like you're looney- oh i totally am there with ya

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Good point regarding the ataxia. If your mother hasn't been tested for Celiac then it is important to do so. There are a great many symptoms that can be associated with gluten intolerance, and finding a doctor familiar with Celiac (not an easy task) can help to sort all of these out. I have a niece with lots of GI problems that is gluten-free, but she won't have the Celiac tests because of the real fear that she won't be able to get insurance for a preexisting condition if it comes out positive :rolleyes: . I have a sister with lots of GI issues as well, but her's aren't severe or obvious, and she won't go gluten-free or get tested. I sent her a lot of gluten-free pastas for her birthday and she said she would save them for when I or her daughter visit. Family. Celiac just offers one more layer of frustration.

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That is soooo annoying. I've started saying something like...I will never be able to eat anything that you cook for me, ever. I will take care of my food, so please don't offer me any. I do not like to call attention to myself so please don't ask me about it.

I've had food issues my entire life. There are always going to be people who don't believe you and that's unfortunate. I've had very close friends accuse me of "making up my food allergies to get attention." Really? Yeah, everybody wants this kind of attention, right? I'm no longer friends with those people.

I've been allergic to citrus since I was a child. My sister sent me a box of grapefruit for Christmas a few years ago. I mean, what the hell? I had to get my neighbor to get the box off of my porch. I've discovered that some people will never get it because they really don't want to. Stay strong and just SAY NO!! *even if they don't want to hear it :)

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I found it was educating to go with my Mom through Wikipedia articles together (both for ADD or celiac or whatever..) And translate stuff or show her pictures of vilii and explain briefly.. so she understands the mechanisms and the symptoms..

I was gluten-free before and it kinda drove them crazy (even if I cooked my own food, just leaving the extra dishes around was 'soo annoying' ugh)

Celiac has been in the papers in the last few years too, and some acquainatnces have been officially diagnosed, so that helps too..

If there were no articles in your country, consider translating some stuff, especially signs/consequences etc. Some really good tips on this forum too :)

Also, remember old people can have trouble remembering stuff.. They just want you to have a good time.. Sometimes they can't eat cookies due to health reasons and want you to 'enjoy' for them!! (They may also equate cookies=love! :))

Educating, inspiration, or just changing the topic can help?

I've sometimes said that I have a 'pre-diabetic' condition too, my blood sugar can go haywire after sweets and I try to stay away.. They know about diabetes (though some of the diabetic relatives still eat and bake cookies and such!!) at least it helps them relate more easily...

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It is extremely frustrating. I don't have it nearly as bad as you (OP)...but yet even the occasional callous comment like "Well I'd assume someone on your diet would know what you could or could not eat" (at a fair)...when of course it's like...not unless I see the ingredients of EVERY food, and even THEN there could be contamination, hidden gluten, etc ad infinitum. It's not like I'm doing it to be paranoid or finicky. I'm doing it because every thing I eat has a potential bomb lodged inside it that will go off in my instestines if ingested. So, heck yeah I'm careful and always air on the side of caution. I'm sure there ARE things I could eat that are gluten free, but unless I KNOW, or it is labelled gluten-free, or I have checked the brand, or it's just a plain carrot...etc...I'm not gonna eat it. sorry. but people do seem to get annoyed occasionally, like the fact I'm not eating gluten is an inconvenience to THEM so how...even when it does not affect what they eat at all. It's like...why does it matter, then? Just let me be lol. I'm not complaining and don't stand around whining about what I can't eat to everyone all the time...so just leave me alone and believe me when I say I don't want to eat something because it might make me sick.

So kudos to you for having way more patience than I would with your aunt.

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Since you posted this a few months ago, I'm just curious, did it get any better? That's a very strange conversation with your aunt. My thoughts were either she is illiterate and unable to read the ingredients herself or she is just trying to annoy you. Some people that think this disease is fake will go to great lengths to tempt you to eat gluten. Then again I have heard of people thinking white bread is made of rice so I would not be completely surprised if she is just that ignorant of what is in her food. If they are not being annoying on purpose I would try to educate them. It sounds like your mom needs testing. I hope you can convince her someday to get it before she is completely diasbaled by the gluten ataxia.

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I think sometimes that if a reaction to gluten was similar to peanuts and the need for epi-pens (I know it's NOT an allergy but an autoimmune response) people would take it more seriously. When I read the conversation with the aunt I immediately thought of my dad who at 85 is always offering me food (often gluten laden), I think it stems more from lack of knowledge and understanding about how many products have gluten--think how hard it is for us just navigating the grocery store. Food is equivalent to love for many people and I would bet for your aunt it may be the same. I find in these situations, it's easier to say thank you but I'm so full from lunch, breakfast, etc and remember she loves you. We have to find a way to live safely in the food world around us, if we are lucky enough to have family members who are knowledgeable and willing to accommodate that is wonderful, but I don't think we should ever assume that family and friends are out to trip us up.

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I have also had that sort of conversation....I remember my dad getting into it with me and saying something like "the label says MAY contain gluten, not that the product DOES contain gluten" and he was suggesting that I should give it a go! lol. I finally said, "Dad, I'll pass. I'm happy with my lettuce wraps right now"

In the end I appreciate that he just doesn't get it. I mean, there is some sort of huge block for him. He is a smart guy, but this 'gluten free thing' just doesn't jive with him for whatever reason. No big deal. I simply REFUSE to engage in any conversation with him on it. If I am at his house, I bring my own food, cutlery, dishware, microwavable container, etc and if he asks "would you like this or that...do you think it contains gluten" i don't even bother trying to educate him. I just say "no thanks, Dad. I'm good"

At the end of the day, he is not going to ever appreciate the nature of celiac disease and that is okay. I know he loves me and now that I've given up trying to educate him, there's no more of those idiotic stress-filled conversations. phew.

KDawg

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Hahahaha! Replace "Aunt" with "Mom" and you just glimpsed my life. <_<

Thank you, my husband and I laughed out loud reading that. Very "Whos on First." :P

I am currently dealing with this as well. And I'm pissed because I've averaged 8 hours a day worth of in depth research into Gluten for the past 6 months. I think at this point I know a little something about the issue. :rolleyes: So when people act like idiots it is very hard not to take it as disrespectful of my intelligence...as if I don't know what I'm doing.

:blink:

I have no advice as I keep on trying to educate whenever possible and completely against the odds (But this is too important not to!).

Anyway, know that you made two people smile today and you do have support here on the forum. :P

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my Dad is sort of like your aunt. "So, you can't eat that then Sis". "No Dad". "well let's look at this." I can't get upset cause he really cares but at 82 he just doesn't get it. When we visit I take my cooler, scrub a spot in his refrig, take my own pan and cutting board, a sense of humor and love and... pray! He means well and cares and he always takes me out to eat at Outback cause he knows I can eat there!

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Ohh yes it's hard... Right there with you.

My mom keeps threatening to send me to an "eating disorder clinic". She takes me to the emergency room and tries to persuade the doctors that I have an eating disorder because I do not eat gluten and lactose. Because I'm self diagnosed and too late for testing... they seem to be on her side.

Quite a hard place to be put for us! But we'll grow from it. All that matters is that you are feeling well

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Ohh yes it's hard... Right there with you.

My mom ...... takes me to the emergency room and tries to persuade the doctors that I have an eating disorder because I do not eat gluten and lactose.

What you need to tell the doctors is if you ate gluten and lactose you would really have an eating disorder - called untreated celiac disease. :P

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I find it fascinating how people give a crap what you are eating or not eating. Your body, your mouth. You can decide what not to eat and what to put in it. End of discussion, no need for further explanation. Maybe it's just me, but who cares. Really, why are other people so concerned with what other people are eating? I think our society is obsessed with food. Nosey? Maybe. Silly...definitely. :angry:

*gets off soapbox*

:D

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OMG reading these posts made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I'm new to this so 'that gluten thing again' seems to be a topic of conversation with just about everyone I eat with. Last week eating dinner with a friend: "All your having is a salad?", my response "Yes, I like salad". But they have so many good things here at this 'SANDWICH' restaurant" I try to explain for the 100th time that I can't eat the bread to no avail so I outright asked the manager if they had gluten free bread for their lovely sandwiches and she said oh no we don't. End of conversation or so I thought. I get my salad and friend says to me 'you forgot your croutons, I'll get them for you"... heavy sigh and want to escape through the bathroom window!

Another friend via email that I love dearly and we laughed about this later when I called her on it.. I said I tried the gluten free frozen waffles and the texture of them was a little strange once I put the syrup on them they seemed to melt on my plate. Lovely friend replies "You should try the whole wheat one's in the health food section at the store they are really good"... I stop, I reread this again and then I ask her if she's gone mad.... she says why zo I explain to her again that wheat has gluten... she feels dumb and says omg I must have been tired when I wrote that, I know that.. Note to self never eat at her house in case she's tired when she's cooking... LOL (I told her that too)

Trying to keep my sense of humor in tact above all else as I venture into the gluten free world that to others seems to be a dark and evil place! :P It's not so dark and evil so far, it's a wee bit texture challenged but I'll get used to it (I hope)

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Since June of 2009 I have been having what I thought were allergic reactions to food. People in my extended family told me it was in my head, even my allergist said I wasn't allergic to red dye after an anaphylactic reaction landed me in the Emergency Room. Since I left him I found a Nurse Practioner who discovered that I was a celiac. I am also allergic to food dyes, potatoes, wheat, shellfish, walnuts, kale and intolerant of almost every grain including rice. My immediate family, husband and two daughters, are not going gluten free and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also have candida issues so I feel like garbage most of the time. Does anyone have any advice on how to manage life with food allergies and intolerances when you live with someone who does not take this seriously and is practically a gluten addict? I have my own pots and pans and some of my own food storage containers. My daughters know that they can't put anything into the containers that mom can't have but I still end up getting sick from cross contamination. I could easily be a food Nazi given my own kitchen but I don't know what to do short of moving out and I can't afford that.

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your aunt and my grandma are very similar! My grandma brought candy for my kids. My youngest is gluten intolerant and she wanted to give her a kit kat bar. I said no because they have gluten in them. She said, "no its cookie" and I said, "yes but cookies are made of wheat flour and that has gluten in it" and she said, "Oh, how about a twix bar instead?'' I said "no, that has cookie too." Then she offered her a meatball, made with bread. I said no. It just went on and on from there =). She understands more now. But she still tries to give her stuff she can't have.

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I have also had that sort of conversation....I remember my dad getting into it with me and saying something like "the label says MAY contain gluten, not that the product DOES contain gluten" and he was suggesting that I should give it a go! lol. I finally said, "Dad, I'll pass. I'm happy with my lettuce wraps right now"

In the end I appreciate that he just doesn't get it. I mean, there is some sort of huge block for him. He is a smart guy, but this 'gluten free thing' just doesn't jive with him for whatever reason. No big deal. I simply REFUSE to engage in any conversation with him on it. If I am at his house, I bring my own food, cutlery, dishware, microwavable container, etc and if he asks "would you like this or that...do you think it contains gluten" i don't even bother trying to educate him. I just say "no thanks, Dad. I'm good"

At the end of the day, he is not going to ever appreciate the nature of celiac disease and that is okay. I know he loves me and now that I've given up trying to educate him, there's no more of those idiotic stress-filled conversations. phew.

KDawg

Hello K-Dawg...I am new. I stumbled upon this site in a panic state with my gluten intolerant daughter having a severe reaction at 430 am this morning. Her father brushes off the diagnosis of her being gluten sensitive although she IS hashimoto's, hypothyroid (she is on cytomel and synthroid since 05) AND pcos and was being treated for parasites and hey she is still young!! lol (that was more of a sarcastic laugh).

I am wondering do you live with your father? Does he at least acknowledge there is a dietary issue causing you discomfort? My husband doesn't really care. In fact he just recently purchased three diff brands of gluteny cookies, muffins, bagels, breads, cereals, croutons, bread sticks, pretzels and crackers. I have since gathered them up in a BIG basket and stored them in his work room. Fine. He can have them....just not in the kitchen.

I find myself rising earlier than my daughter to clean kitchen counters, cabinets, handles, light switches, floors, etc for the kitchen is usually contaminated. I have gone gluten free along with her. It just makes sense. I don't know if her father is suffering from some other issue for this behavior of his borders on cruelty toward his own daughter.

My focus is her safety and her health right now - not his over consumption of gluten/wheat products which arent doing him any GOOD.

Is there contamination issues with you and your family? Thank you.

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I am wondering do you live with your father? Does he at least acknowledge there is a dietary issue causing you discomfort? My husband doesn't really care. In fact he just recently purchased three diff brands of gluteny cookies, muffins, bagels, breads, cereals, croutons, bread sticks, pretzels and crackers. I have since gathered them up in a BIG basket and stored them in his work room. Fine. He can have them....just not in the kitchen.

I find myself rising earlier than my daughter to clean kitchen counters, cabinets, handles, light switches, floors, etc for the kitchen is usually contaminated. I have gone gluten free along with her. It just makes sense. I don't know if her father is suffering from some other issue for this behavior of his borders on cruelty toward his own daughter.

My focus is her safety and her health right now - not his over consumption of gluten/wheat products which arent doing him any GOOD.

Is there contamination issues with you and your family? Thank you.

Oh BeeFree, I just saw this. I had to go gluten free 100% a year ago after positive results, and my daughter a month ago after *her* positive results. At first my husband didn't take me seriously but he's getting better educated and keeping junk out of the kitchen now that it's my daughter too. However, for the past year, especially before my daughter's tests, he bought a multipack of whole wheat pasta! from Costco, giant boxes of Triscuits and most recently a giant box of wheat thins. Are there no gluten free snacks? The most annoying was Costco sized Shredded Wheat. Talk about crumbs. I got really pissed I must say and forbid him from making bread in the breadmaker with flour or cooking pasta in my pots. He has a dedicated wheat pan, but has decided it's mostly too much work and eats gluten free at home. He *has* to have his bags of supermarket bagels in the car for the ride to work though. I think he's kinda addicted to wheat because it's either wheat snacks or beer. Grr...

I think you need to take charge of your kitchen! Give them a pan or two and cook gluten free for them. Let them have a gluten snack in their backpack or work bag if they must. Forbid flour or crumbs at the table. They can eat it when they're at work/school if it's so darn important! Try showing them studies about antibodies not going down from cross contamination and how continued exposure increases risk of lymphomas and other cancers. Hang in there!

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There is a great test that you can do from home. Never need to see a doctor!!! no I don't work there but I had all my tests done with them and tested positive for gluten sensitivity after testing negative with blood tests.

EnteroLab www.enterolab.com

they send everything you need to your home and then send you the results in 3 - 4 weeks. They can also do DNA testing for sensitivities.

I'm having my children tested too since it is inherited.

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That's funny.

I told my brother that I am alergic to gluten and he said that I should try eating organic.

OMG reading these posts made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I'm new to this so 'that gluten thing again' seems to be a topic of conversation with just about everyone I eat with. Last week eating dinner with a friend: "All your having is a salad?", my response "Yes, I like salad". But they have so many good things here at this 'SANDWICH' restaurant" I try to explain for the 100th time that I can't eat the bread to no avail so I outright asked the manager if they had gluten free bread for their lovely sandwiches and she said oh no we don't. End of conversation or so I thought. I get my salad and friend says to me 'you forgot your croutons, I'll get them for you"... heavy sigh and want to escape through the bathroom window!

Another friend via email that I love dearly and we laughed about this later when I called her on it.. I said I tried the gluten free frozen waffles and the texture of them was a little strange once I put the syrup on them they seemed to melt on my plate. Lovely friend replies "You should try the whole wheat one's in the health food section at the store they are really good"... I stop, I reread this again and then I ask her if she's gone mad.... she says why zo I explain to her again that wheat has gluten... she feels dumb and says omg I must have been tired when I wrote that, I know that.. Note to self never eat at her house in case she's tired when she's cooking... LOL (I told her that too)

Trying to keep my sense of humor in tact above all else as I venture into the gluten free world that to others seems to be a dark and evil place! :P It's not so dark and evil so far, it's a wee bit texture challenged but I'll get used to it (I hope)

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That's funny.

I told my brother that I am alergic to gluten and he said that I should try eating organic.

It's surprising how often people think that's the answer, isn't it? My favorite was an acquaintance who thought all my troubles with gluten would be solved if I went on a macrobiotic diet...the one where grains are the main source of nutrition. Then proceeded to give me all these whole wheat and barley recipes. :rolleyes:

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It's surprising how often people think that's the answer, isn't it? My favorite was an acquaintance who thought all my troubles with gluten would be solved if I went on a macrobiotic diet...the one where grains are the main source of nutrition. Then proceeded to give me all these whole wheat and barley recipes. :rolleyes:

OY!!!!!!!!! My friend thinks I can solve a wheat allergy if I fix what she thinks is a leaky gut........I'm sorry, but a leaky gut DOES not cause a major histamine response. She thinks if I follow this fix and take pro-biotics, I will be fixed, and able to eat wheat again...I can't convince her otherwise. It's so frusterating...

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    • Hi All, I'm new to this and very confused! I have Lea & Perrins WC sauce, it lists it's first ingredient as Malt Vinegar.  I have the Coeliac Society of Ireland Food List 2015 here, and it says "All Vinegars are Gluten Free including Malt Vinegar." Doesn't that mean that L&P Worcestershire sauce is safe?   Their website states " Lea & Perrins® Worcestershire Sauce is cholesterol free, fat free, preservative free, gluten free and has 80% less sodium than soy sauce. " I'm cooking for my coeliac niece, can't afford to make a mistake!
    • I get these crazy cravings for some things I can not eat anymore. Not only am I diagnosed with celiac but I also have a allergy to corn, olives, sesame, peanuts, and intolerance to yeast, soy, dairy, and a very low tolerance for carbs/sugars, Top it off with I can not digest meats or egg yolks, they just give me the burps and come up later.
        To deal with these I find myself turning to Republic of Teas (They have a great desert tea line up all certified gluten-free) and sweetening them with monk fruit extract, or stevia. And I find myself making Puddings bases that I use for shakes, dips, and ice-cream for meals. The puddings are normally a blend of cashew, or almond milk with a thickening agent like agar agar, pectin, or knoxx gelatin, blended with a sweetener like xylitol, swerve, stevia, monk fruit or a combination. And flavored with Lor Ann Oils (all gluten-free certified and you can find the kosher ones listed as such) super strength flavors or fountain syrups to match something I can not eat normally a combination of two flavors (Strawberry Cheesecake, Banana and Carmel, Cookies & Cream, etc) Then I add a fat that matches best, like almond butter, cashew butter, hemp butter, ground flax seed, coconut flour, chocolate, Pumpkin seed butter or a combination) These bases are normally blended up and consumed with 1-2 scoops of protein powder and eaten with steamed vegges as a side dip or loaded into a ice cream maker for a desert after my meals.      Also found myself making desert soups....like a pumpkin soup that taste like pumpkin pie. I am sure we all have our little quirks but this is one of mine for getting that sweet craving taken care of. Most premade items are off my list due to the allergies and it seems most companies use the oils, starches I am allergic to as non stick or thickening agents, Even the semi safe ones tend to put way to much sugars in them and I find myself only being able to nibble . There is also my little binge issues with almonds, pumpkin seeds, and, cocoa but that was explained to me as normal And on my most craving for peanuts I have found sancha inchi powder to work great, The Powder itself taste like the girl scout peanut butter cookie sandwich from my childhood, And is great mixed with a bit of almond milk into a butter or used in baking and smoothies. Before this I have been making Artisan blends of almond butter for years and even made a market selling them to pay  for my own consumption. Baked goods wise I have a bunch of recipes I make for others and sell at markets and this allows me to nibble on a sample to check it, as most contain a bean or gluten-free Harvest Oats/Flour in them and the carbs from that and the coconut sugars bother me. Still helps with cravings there, I only have 2 recipes that sell good and are safe for me to eat full servings of but are so expensive as they use almond and coconut flours, low sugars/xylitol and are paleo that I only can afford to make them once a month. Posting to hear about some odd and out there ways others deal with substitutions and cravings. Please do not bash mine as odd as they might be as they keep me from going crazy. (Yes I know DROP THE OATS, fact is I only get them when tasting stuff and they are gluten-free Harvest, the only ones I have never gotten glutend with)  
    • After suffering pretty much all year with one illness after another I've finally managed to get a diagnosis and it turns out to be celiac. After my doctors consistently failing to even consider the possibility it might be that (as opposed to "IBS" or "stress") I kept pushing for the Iga TTg test and it was off the charts with a score of >128... may as well fail it in style I guess. So here I am at the start of what feels like the end of my life as I know it. Been doing nothing but reading for the past week and frankly it's terrifying. Here's a few things that are going round in my head and I'd really appreciate your thoughts with. Apologies if it's a bit of an essay  Diagnosis I'm still furious at my doctors for not even entertaining the thought that celiac could be the root cause of all my ills. Given the blood test is so simple it feels almost negligent that they don't run this right at the start to rule it out. Instead I got subjected to poisons like Omeprazole which made me even more ill, whilst being told the physical symptoms were all in my head. Just as well I knew better and kept hitting up Google until my self-diagnosis was proved correct... to think these people get paid highly to be so incompetent makes my blood boil. Does feel good having outwitted the so-called professionals though. Seems 9 months is comparatively quick from symptoms to diagnosis compared to some others that have gone years with the problems so could be worse I guess. Food and diet I'm male vegetarian (non-negotiable) which makes this even harder as so many of my protein sources are now ruled out. Seems many with celiac were having trouble losing weight whereas I'm in the opposite situation. Already lost best part of a stone in the past few weeks and it's becoming noticeable now. The MyFitnessPal app reckons I need 2600 calories a day to maintain \ gain weight - no idea where that's going to come from. On top of that I read sites like Gluten Dude where even the Gluten Free foods are seen as poisons and going on extreme diets like Paleo \ SCD are the only real way forward. Again being veggie makes that practically impossible and if I'm unlucky enough to end up with the dairy issues as well I'm well and truly stuffed. Right now I'm trying the gluten-free Quorn products to see how I go, as well as more eggs etc. Porridge has been my go-to breakfast in the mornings for a while after I cut out bread whilst self-diagnosing but depending on where you read even that's a potential problem (currently using gluten-free porridge oats and seeing how it goes) Seems many gluten-free people have to go right back to basics and cook everything from scratch. That's a problem for me as I'm utterly hopeless on that front and time doesn't permit waiting hours just to prepare one meal. Seems nigh-on impossible to do day-in, day-out. Health Rightly or wrongly right now I see this diagnosis as a death sentence long-term. Looks like it brings other associated illnesses with it and this particular article really scares me: http://scdlifestyle.com/2012/03/the-gluten-free-lie-why-most-celiacs-are-slowly-dying/ I've only really had noticeable symptoms for the past year or so but wonder how long this has been going on for and what damage has already been done. All seems to have started from when I turned 30 (knew I was dreading that age for a reason) and right now I wonder how long I'm going to last before the really bad stuff starts. One of the other illnesses I'd considered as a possibility before getting diagnosed was Hashimoto's Thyroiditis; now it seems that's closely linked with Celiac so may not be out of the woods with that yet either. Just seems to be one big list of illness all triggered from the same point One positive change I've noticed thus far since cutting out gluten is that bloating seems to have gone down and bowel movements are better. Still getting headaches and muscle twitching, which could be as much a withdrawal symptom from gluten as anything else.  Some sites were suggesting stopping exercise whilst withdrawing but I can't face that as it's the only thing keeping me going at present. Again will keep going as-was and see what happens. Then to top it off it sounds like the next step is the biopsy - I'm scared of being put out for the procedure as a member of family went into hospital a few years back for something supposedly routine and never came back out. From what I've been told it's important to have done though as it shows just how broken the villi are so another thing to worry about in the meantime. I've just read on another thread that you have to be on gluten to have the test, that's another kicker after having started to cut it out the diet. With such a high blood test Iga-TTg score isn't it almost certain that celiac is the cause and the endoscopy in this case is just confirming levels of damage? OK means I can have a final blow-out eating all the "bad" foods but no doubt with all the side effects that come with it... Social life Seems like despite there being some gluten free options in certain restaurants (granted better now than years ago) I'm going to be hugely limited in food options. Either sitting on the side looking on or just plain not able to go out much anymore. Already had the first hitting-home moment watching colleagues eating pastries that were brought in while I just have to look on... then it dawns that this is never going to get better... urghhh Family life I'm really struggling to accept this lifelong illness and loss of health and it's taking a toll on the people around me at the moment. They won't be going gluten-free so will have to take my chances with the mixed kitchen environment; already gone with split toasters etc. so can't do much more than that. Dating Basically seems game over on that front, unlike many who are diagnosed with understanding partners \ spouses I'm still in the dating game, which is judgemental enough as it is without all the complications that the gluten issues bring. I'm reading even kissing someone with lipstick \ make-up is apparently a big no-no... once any date hears that they won't be coming back... forever alone status confirmed is how it looks right now. Overall feelings I still can't quite figure out if this illness was in me all along and just hasn't flared up enough to notice until now or whether the extreme stress I've been under for the past year or so has triggered it. If the second scenario is correct I can't stop thinking about the events that all led up to this almost year-long bout of ill health and life-changing diagnosis. Can celiac be brought on by stress alone or realistically was I always a ticking timebomb just waiting to be set off? For every person I see that's had a positive change after cutting out gluten (and getting by with reasonably achievable adjustments) there seems to be 10 others with horrible side-effects and long-term complications. Right now the future feels rather bleak - like all hope just been taken away. Help???
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