The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Judyin Philly]

It's worse than I thought! Even worse than I thought! He went through all the bills last night and is blaming me for everything! All are money problems are my fault! I can't stop shaking and crying! He's furious with me! With ME! God help me! I did everything I could to keep us afloat, so much, so much, and now he's acting like I'm some dumb deadbeat that he has to get out from under!

The horror of it, the unbelievable unfairness of it, makes me sick! I'm sick! I'm frantic! He's demanding that I come over to split up all our things... Our life together... TOMORROW! And says if I don't then he'll do it by himself!

I'm scared, I'm so scared! I don't know this person, and he's my babies' daddy! I want my husband back!!! And it's like he's dead and gone.

Sarah

I saw this after I posted

Sarah..........please honey you have to get some professional advice on this.

you just can't go to the house alone with him tomorrow

i'm afraid for you.

he can't throw out your stuff

can you contact Lisa?

She seems to know about some of this stuff.

Your rights as a still married spouse are so being violated here

i wish we could all come tomorrow in mass and stand in front of the house.

Again, please don't go over there alone.

love judy

[blueeyedmanda]

Sarah- I second everyones advice. Please do get a third party to be there....he has no rights to your stuff. Tomorrow is too soon for you to be expected to sort through the material things, how can you when you are still trying to sort through everything else.

[elye]

Oh, Sarah.........

Okay. You absolutely need legal counsel, here. I know you do not have money, but you need to get into a lawyer, legal aid, anything. Plead your case, and you will be helped. This all is overwhelming for you, and I don't know if you are able to do this one thing on your own. Can your parents go with you? Bring the kids if you have to...just get this bit of help.

If you get into some type of women's legal counsel, perhaps affiliated with state shelters, and in the condition you're in, recount this entire story, emphasizing that he is now a complete stranger that you do not know nor trust, you will get immediate help.

Stay strong, dear Sarah!!!

[Judyin Philly]

This could be really bad advice............please tell me if it is........don't want Sarah to get into any trouble here

how about a restraining order so he can't go and pitch stuff.

i'm just so out of my league here on this advice.

A womans center in the phone book might even help her find FAST HELP

HANG IN SARAH....WE'LL DO SOME BRAIN STORMING FOR YOU

JUDY

[elye]

This could be really bad advice............please tell me if it is........don't want Sarah to get into any trouble here

how about a restraining order so he can't go and pitch stuff.

i'm just so out of my league here on this advice.

A womans center in the phone book might even help her find FAST HELP

HANG IN SARAH....WE'LL DO SOME BRAIN STORMING FOR YOU

JUDY

Yes, the phone book is a good idea. I just looked under "Women's" in our book up here, and there are legal aid contacts, as well as emergency numbers for women and their children who are in sudden domestic upheaval - - like our Sarah.

Check the yellow pages, Sarah!

(Can any Sillies do this for Sarah's area? I'm out of country)..........

[Ridgewalker]

I just don't know.. my parents' keep screaming Lawyer, and I'm so reluctant. I never dreamed this could happen... not with us. Sure as hell not this freaking fast, with no warning for me, no way to prepare...

My mom... is so enraged, I've never seen her like this.

I don't think he would throw out my things... the idea is appalling.. and yet how can I possibly predict what he might say or do next? He's demanding I hand over the checkbook and my debit card... as if I would STEAL from him or something???

The fact that not only has he broken our relationship and our family, he's trying to force me to make this FAST... clean... I can't keep up.

I didn't really answer him when he said the stuff about the checkbook and my card. I'm trying not to agree to anything when I talk to him... Because I cannot think straight at all... I'm trying not to agree to anything when I talk to him, and waiting till I talk to my mom.

I can't think straight about the details... I just keep asking him how he could do this, what happened to him... and he won't talk about that, he only wants to move forward with his new life... his new life that he has to clean up and get out from under me... is how he's acting. It's... beyond hideous...

Everytime I talk to him, it gets worse, and I dread meeting with him today, but i have to. I have to get some money to get my car fixed, and get the boys school clothes, and everything else... I'm going to try to get ahold of him and tell him that we need to meet at the bank and close the joint acct.

I dread this... How things can crash around you this fast... I never knew.

[DingoGirl]

SARAH!!!!!!

It is IMPERATIVE that you get some legal counsel. I know you don't have a phone at your parents'.....are you writing from there? If so......can you find help for women? It IS in most, if not all, states......PLEASE. I can't stress enough that.......NOTHING should be moved out and sorted at this time!!!!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

Brian is a stranger now. You can't expect anything normal, stable, or helpful coming from him at present. so PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU AND THE BOYS. Please.

I will be out for a bit, then can come back and research for a short time before having to leave again and help my friend set up her classroom.

I am very suspicious of how QUICKLY he is making you do all of this - makes me think HE"S done some research.

Put yourself in auto-pilot for now......find out your rights.......get some free legal counsel.....take care of yourself.

SEnding love, hugs, prayers.

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more later

[elye]

Great advice, Susie!

I am very suspicious of how QUICKLY he is making you do all of this - makes me think HE"S done some research.

Yep. Doing things quickly keeps Sarah overwhelmed and unable to focus enough to keep her best interests (and the kids') at heart. This is advantageuos for this new stranger.......

[Jestgar]

Sarah, talk to a lawyer.

Keep the credit card and checkbook. You had an agreement that you would take care of the children, and he would provide the finances. He wants to break that agreement. You don't have to.

Dumping his family does not mean dumping his responsibility.

[blueeyedmanda]

Sarah, talk to a lawyer.

Keep the credit card and checkbook. You had an agreement that you would take care of the children, and he would provide the finances. He wants to break that agreement. You don't have to.

Dumping his family does not mean dumping his responsibility.

very well said

[Darn210]

Sarah, listen to your parents, let them help, get some legal counsel . . . if it helps, act as if you're doing this for someone else, forget the emotion part for now (I know, I'm asking the impossible) but you need to be in survival mode for you and your children . . . and I'm talking long term. You didn't see this coming . . . so you don't really know what he's going to do. He is NOT who you thought he was!! You need to assume he will do his worse and you need to protect yourself and the boys from the ramifications of that. Be the Mother Bear and protect your cubs . . . be a BadA$$, Sarah!!!

[jerseyangel]

Sarah--if you are still reading or get back on here....please take your mom's and everyone here's advice and get a lawyer pronto. Please, he has blindsighted you and caught you off balance.

You have rights.....please, please call someone today. If you have to drive somewhere to get to a phone--do-- you need to have someone who knows the law repesent you. He is counting on the fact that you're reeling.

Love you sweetie, stay strong and please get legal help.

[Green12]

I totally agree, Sarah you must have legal representation. You CAN'T do this alone. He is looking out for his best interests and obviously has done his homework on all of this and you need to have someone looking out for you and your kids.

[Jestgar]

Sarah, I'm sorry my first post was so short, here's what I meant to say.

Just because you didn't start this, doesn't mean you can't take control. Whatever happens farther down the line doesn't change this. You need to be very clear on what your rights and responsibilities are, and what his rights and responsibilities are. Taking to someone with knowledge of NC law will help you sort this out.

You have been completely taken off guard, I understand that. A legal advocate will help you with this also. A neutral party will help you stay on track with what needs to be done to keep you and the boys' lives as stable as possible in a very unstable world.

I know you feel alone, but you aren't. There are people out there who want to help you, you just have to find them.

[psawyer]

Sarah, talk to a lawyer.

Keep the credit card and checkbook. You had an agreement that you would take care of the children, and he would provide the finances. He wants to break that agreement. You don't have to.

Dumping his family does not mean dumping his responsibility.

Well stated, Jess.

Sarah, you need legal support. You have lots of rights in this situation. Don't let him take advantage of confusion or hesitation. PLEASE get a lawyer involved. Don't agree to anything until your lawyer has looked at it.

You are in our thoughts. :wub:

[Scott Adams]

Hello Everyone,

Without naming names I want to point out that several people in this thread were given board warnings recently for violating our Board Rule #1:

"Do not be abusive or otherwise out of line towards other board members. Show respect for each board member, no matter what you think of their views. This is not a place to quarrel."

Please remember that even though you may disagree with a member (or viewpoint expressed by more than one member) of this board, it is not ok to use personal attacks here. Please also remember that the Gab/Chat area of this board was created specifically to be:

"General Chat Unrelated to Celiac Disease - Discuss most things here EXCEPT Celiac Disease / Gluten-Free Diet. Keep it light and avoid controversal topics like global warming, gay marriage, gun control, euthanasia, speed limits on the Autobahn, prisoner torture, etc."

Remember, we all came here for very similar reasons, and most of us are here to try to learn and help others. It is sometimes easy to get caught up in a topic and forget that what you post here stays here (for the most part anyway)...and it might offend or hurt someone. So be sure to think about what you post very carefully before you post it, and try to ask yourself a few quick questions before you click that "Add Reply" button...questions like:

1. Will my post offend anyone on this board;
   
2. Will I be sorry about posting this sometime down the road?
   
3. Is my post positive and contructive to the topic/thead?
   

Thank you for listening!

Take care,

Scott

[Mtndog]

Remember, we all came here for very similar reasons, and most of us are here to try to learn and help others. It is sometimes easy to get caught up in a topic and forget that what you post here stays here (for the most part anyway)...and it might offend or hurt someone. So be sure to think about what you post very carefully before you post it, and try to ask yourself a few quick questions before you click that "Add Reply" button...questions like:

1. Will my post offend anyone on this board;
   
2. Will I be sorry about posting this sometime down the road?
   
3. Is my post positive and contructive to the topic/thead?
   

Thank you for listening!

Take care,

Scott

Agreed! Thank you SCOTT for listening to us as well! You have a tough job!

[tom]

Haven't had that hard of a time seeing since my coworker tried to figure something out, and overworked her pea-sized brain and the office filled with smoke!

(this was my early AM laugh)

Ptaoughmghmn! I see you posting!!!!

Uh........so.....didja watch the...you know........game?

Geh I woke up early (for me), just before 7, and it was already in overtime or "extra-time"? Already 2-1.

Didn't watch - I've been trying to start the day w/ a little walk. It ended 2-1, I assume.

[Darn210]

Haven't had that hard of a time seeing since my coworker tried to figure something out, and overworked her pea-sized brain and the office filled with smoke!

I totally Bev'd that!! Thanks for quoting, Tom . . . made me take another look.

[~alex~]

Sarah,

I just want to respectfully peak my head in and let you know I'm thinking about you and your two precious boys. I really wish I had some special knowledge to be able to give you some helpful advice. It sounds like others here have given you some good ideas -- especially about the legal aid. You and your little guys need an advocate to assure you get a fair shake. I'm so glad you have your parents to help you out. Lean on them and let them and everyone else you have in your corner help you out in any way they are able.

You have all of my thoughts and prayers for strength and eventual peace of mind.

Alex

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies--boy do I got some news...

My mom called tonight and said to me, you need to come visit and see my boy. This afternoon my mom got a new foster child. He is 2 1/2 and his name is Allen. He can talk a lot, he has talked to me on the phone. He has got blonde hair and blue eyes. His home was condemed and now he is in foster care. I am hoping to get to see him this weekend. I love when my mom gets kids

Kitty is going back to the vet again.....he is sick again!

[jerseyangel]

Hi Alex--I miss you

Amanda--great news! I'm so glad that little Allen is safe with your parents. What wonderful people they are

Poor Lucky

[Darn210]

Sorry 'bout the kitty, Amanda . . . how old is Lucky?

Your parents are special people . . . bringing all these little ones into their home and giving them a safe and nuturing environment.

Hi Alex. :wavinghelloface:

[tom]

Speaking of youth-in-asia, the other day the Olympics announcer says "the Chinese women" while the tv shows those teensy barely-teen gymnasts!!! :facemakingsnortofdisbelief:

16 is the minimum age now but one seems to be 13 & another 15 - according to, until very recently, China's own official athletics websites!!!

Alexxxxxxxxxxxx!!! Good to see ya!

Yay Allen

Boo not-so-Lucky

[tom]

. . ..giving them a safe and nuturing environment.

Typo-shmypo Allen does NOT want a neutering!!!!!!