The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

When you apply mascara, you raise your eyebrows, thus pulling the skin upwards, causing the mouth to gape open.

And in my case, this occurs simultaneously whilst holding the magnification mirror wif me left hand whilst applying said mascara wif me right. Of course, this means that I have to put down the mirror to re-load the brush wif mascara to do the second eye....

[celiac-mommy]

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Me: Hi sir, my name is Rachelle, I'm going to take a look at your heart...

Him: What's yer name?

Me-louder: Rachelle!!

Him-louder: What??

Me-louder and slower: R-A-C-H-E-L-L-E, like MICHELLE, but with an "R"

Him: Oooohhhhhh.... You must be a pretty strong gal to be called Russell. Not many girls could handle a name like that...

Me: Yeah, that's right....

[kareng]

Sooooo, with the final prompt from my therapist yesterday, I started my cookbook today I don't know how long it will take or what I expect, but I've had so many people tell me I should.....so I am! I's skeert!!

All my cake recipes will be in there too......

I'll buy it! Can I get it autographed? Will you be using Russell as your "nom de plume?" (did I use that fancy French sounding phrase right?)

I've been outta the Great Phorum Loop -- is everyone, like me, sidelined and greatly handicapped by this new feature (or lack thereof) that no longer allows us to see past posts when we are posting? 'Tis quite... .. ..debilitating, at times... . .... ...I believe that this should be brought forward in the official minutes of the Moderators Only Section as an item to peruse.

Oh, yes.. . .. . .....and right beneath this, the question of why I cannot apply mascara with my mouth closed.

Yes, I keep forgetting either what I want to say or who I'm saying it to.

Do your eyes close when you put on lipstick?

And in my case, this occurs simultaneously whilst holding the magnification mirror wif me left hand whilst applying said mascara wif me right. Of course, this means that I have to put down the mirror to re-load the brush wif mascara to do the second eye....

The things we women must do for beauty.

[jerseyangel]

Will you be using Russell as your "nom de plume?"

:lol:

"Russell"

Now on a pserious note Rah-shell.....you will be dedicating this book to the sillies, right?

We knew you when, and all......

[curlyfries]

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Reminded me of a conversation with my deaf student.

She also has difficulties with her reading and speech, so whenever she has to read something aloud, she points out words she doesn't know or can't pronounce, and we practice them, quietly, until it's her turn.

She had to write a paragraph on her opinion of same-sex classrooms.

She points.....

Me: sex

Her: stex

Me....sex

Her....seck

Me....sex

Her.....sex

RIGHT!!

stex

no....sex

stex

there's no T......ssseeeexxx

sss...ex

Right!

stex

sex

That's the stupidest word I ever heard!

[DingoGirl]

argh, quote-busted!!!!!!!!!

Geoss, I have Butt Paste in my drawer, from a FIERCE case of poison oak, many years ago (it did not work, was beyond the help of normal salves and required hospital visit(s)

Leesargh's microwave system, 'tis crazy, BUTT brilliant

'Morning, Pgang!

Methinks the Psilly thread should be broadcast through the intercoms of hospital recovery and observation areas -- professionals reading our lines, going through the posts in real time, with recap and summaries before shift-change. People would recover more quickly.....and even if they didn't, they would be larfin', and larfter ALWAYS helps.. . .. ..... .

'tis a CAPITOL IDEER! get it spread through the Commonwealth, at once

Does she know you drew them on? They may be preparing a bed for you in the "special" wing.

*snort*

Ahh --took me laptop to Best Buy last night, thinking I'd have to leave it wif the Geek Squad because it wouldn't recognize the router's signal anymore and I was getting weary of the pop ups it was generating every time I'd come on. The lovely geek had a look and proceeded to phix it right there. Evidently there's a single key on my model that will turn off the ability to obtain a signal and I musta hit it by mistake whilst on-line late the other night wifout the lights on Annoying pop ups gone as well

WHOT?

oh the HEINOSITY of tehcnology!!!!!

No--that's the amazing part! I asked him what I owed him and he said--nothing!!

Pads - only you - all them free dinners at PF Chang's and such......you is blessed

She is faring well, it seems.

yay!!!

Sooooo, with the final prompt from my therapist yesterday, I started my cookbook today I don't know how long it will take or what I expect, but I've had so many people tell me I should.....so I am! I's skeert!!

WHOT? this is very exciting! And, as Pads has said, ARE YER dedicating it to yer Sills?

Oh, yes.. . .. . .....and right beneath this, the question of why I cannot apply mascara with my mouth closed.

Tis quite simple......

When you apply mascara, you raise your eyebrows, thus pulling the skin upwards, causing the mouth to gape open. This is a sign of still young, tight skin.

I, on the other hand, no longer have young, tight skin, therefore I do not have a problem keeping my mouth shut.

However......it seems that some tightness-challenged women still apply make-up with mouth open. This is either due to poor memory (forgot that eyebrows no longer able to open mouth) or poor eyesight (and the erroneous belief that opening the mouth provides more light to shine on the optic nerve, thus improving vision)

good greef, Laydeez, don't y'all have a HUGE magnifying mirror at yer makeup stations? I NEVER have mouth open when applying mascara.......am looking into a HORRIFYING magnifier when applying makeup........mouth never opens (can only see one part of face when using - highly recommended and also highly horrifying)

Just like my right thumb locks into a certain position, just like my mom's used to, and I have to use my other hand to straighten it out

Now let's see, what else can I blame on me mom? Don't get me started But the RA comes from me Dad Most of the other stuff, though, is maternally influenced, except my strong bones (read large frame as well ) and big head - barely a hat made to encase the brains bulging from this hulking skull of mine. I see they have finally changed the sizing to read "One Size Fits MOST!!

cracked me up, Shroom

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Me: Hi sir, my name is Rachelle, I'm going to take a look at your heart...

Him: What's yer name?

Me-louder: Rachelle!!

Him-louder: What??

Me-louder and slower: R-A-C-H-E-L-L-E, like MICHELLE, but with an "R"

Him: Oooohhhhhh.... You must be a pretty strong gal to be called Russell. Not many girls could handle a name like that...

Me: Yeah, that's right....

RUSSELL!!! x 55 nom de plume, indeed

[celiac-mommy]

:lol:

"Russell"

Now on a pserious note Rah-shell.....you will be dedicating this book to the sillies, right?

We knew you when, and all......

Absof*%kinlutely! I've honestly never met such a bunch of amazing, supportive people in all of my life :wub: (I guess technically I still haven't ) And my cousin Chris who helped me wif the name......Will reveal later (hubby's not sure I'll get it past a publisher...)

That's the stupidest word I ever heard!

Me tooo!!! :lol:

[elye]

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Dear gawd, yes... .. . and hospitals are FULL of 'em.

Reminds me of a statistic I came across not long ago:

Researchers tell us that only about 25 percent of what is said can be understood by lipreading.

For example:

Suppose a woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean this place up,

Your stuff is lying all over on the floor

and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow

unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

Do your eyes close when you put on lipstick?

Thank heavens, only when I'm putting it on my eyelids.. . . ..

Now on a pserious note Rah-shell.....you will be dedicating this book to the sillies, right?

We knew you when, and all......

Dear GAWD, yes. With accompanying photos of our choice avatars.. . . . ......

Russell! You is publishing a cookbook! This is really terrific. Good for you! Seeing your incredible baked works of art on Da Book keeps me thinking that you need to be really focusing on this... . ...such a talent.

sex

That's the stupidest word I ever heard!

Crap, at times it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.. . . . . . .. . ...

[jerseyangel]

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

:lol:

Mornin' sills....got nuttin--too early <sleepyphace>

[kareng]

And my cousin Chris who helped me wif the name......Will reveal later (hubby's not sure I'll get it past a publisher...)

Sounds like your not going for a name that evokes a wholesome mom & apple pie vibe? Perhaps something a little sexier?

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean this place up,

Your stuff is lying all over on the floor

and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow

unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

[celiac-mommy]

Dear gawd, yes... .. . and hospitals are FULL of 'em.

Reminds me of a statistic I came across not long ago:

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

tis true

Russell! You is publishing a cookbook! This is really terrific. Good for you! Seeing your incredible baked works of art on Da Book keeps me thinking that you need to be really focusing on this... . ...such a talent.

Ahhh, thanks. It would be my dream to have my own business. I guess it's starting to happen

Mornin' sills....got nuttin--too early <sleepyphace>

Good mornin', Good mornin', Good mornin' to you!!!!!!!

Sounds like your not going for a name that evokes a wholesome mom & apple pie vibe? Perhaps something a little sexier?

A play on words......G F means one thing to us, but others may see it standing for sumphin else. After my cousin tasted my cooking, he was in love. He would message me every day telling me to have a G F day. I thought there was a double meaning behind it, and everyone else on da book just thought it meant good "f..k.ng" day. I thought it was heeelarious, especially when I found out he was only thinking gluten-free and not the other. he couldn't understand why people were making such a big deal. He's the one who first mentioned the cookbook and he even designed me a cover and sent it to me I adore him!!

[Mtndog]

Leesargh's whole post :lol:

Absof*%kinlutely! I've honestly never met such a bunch of amazing, supportive people in all of my life :wub:

I now the psillies are the best bunch of peopple I've mostly never met but feel like I have :wub:

Reminds me of a statistic I came across not long ago:

Researchers tell us that only about 25 percent of what is said can be understood by lipreading.

For example:

Suppose a woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean this place up,

Your stuff is lying all over on the floor

and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow

unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!! Do you ever bag them? I always say "Honey, what did I just say?" (I think it's the teacher in me) and his answers are priceless sometimes. I bought him a t-shirt that says "I see your lips moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah"!

Russell!

Good mornin', Good mornin', Good mornin' to you!!!!!!!

A play on words......G F means one thing to us, but others may see it standing for sumphin else. After my cousin tasted my cooking, he was in love. He would message me every day telling me to have a G F day. I thought there was a double meaning behind it, and everyone else on da book just thought it meant good "f..k.ng" day. I thought it was heeelarious, especially when I found out he was only thinking gluten-free and not the other. he couldn't understand why people were making such a big deal. He's the one who first mentioned the cookbook and he even designed me a cover and sent it to me I adore him!!

That is awesome! A phun title and your food looks like a work of art!

[celiac-mommy]

This has been the sslloowweesstt day in history, and no one's been on here all day! Boo-Hoo!

Except Bev's--Hi Bev's

I'm BORED!!!!! And I still have an hour left of work!!! And I want to eat, but I'm past my allotted caloried phor the day and that makes me CRABBY!!!

but.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

[JNBunnie1]

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!! Do you ever bag them? I always say "Honey, what did I just say?" (I think it's the teacher in me) and his answers are priceless sometimes. I bought him a t-shirt that says "I see your lips moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah"!

My boyfriend should get this shirt for ME. He talks and I just kind of wander away in my mind..... it's not my fault, he repeats himself so much I can't stay tuned! The whole family just talks nonstop, it's genetic. They're Italian. He talks to me while I'm reading. I'm like, uh, honey? You know how you hate it when I talk during movies? Yeah, same thing here...... I don't know how he does it, but if I tried to talk that much I'd damage my vocal cords.... :lol:

[Mtndog]

My boyfriend should get this shirt for ME. He talks and I just kind of wander away in my mind..... it's not my fault, he repeats himself so much I can't stay tuned! The whole family just talks nonstop, it's genetic. They're Italian. He talks to me while I'm reading. I'm like, uh, honey? You know how you hate it when I talk during movies? Yeah, same thing here...... I don't know how he does it, but if I tried to talk that much I'd damage my vocal cords.... :lol:

:lol:

That's a switch! Why am I picturing Bunnie with Joey Tribiani. How YOU doing?

Ray-chelle- What is Dobostorta (looks yummers)? Is it like sorta Doberman? A Doberman tarte? Are you making cake outta my nephew Jake the Dobie?

All kidding aside, will you come over HERE and make it? Please, oh pretty please????

[celiac-mommy]

:lol:

That's a switch! Why am I picturing Bunnie with Joey Tribiani. How YOU doing?

Ray-chelle- What is Dobostorta (looks yummers)? Is it like sorta Doberman? A Doberman tarte? Are you making cake outta my nephew Jake the Dobie?

All kidding aside, will you come over HERE and make it? Please, oh pretty please????

Doberman tartar....

And.....Someday

You know, I can put up a lot 'o people in my house, and I'm known to cook nonstop when we have company (how am I not Italian???). You should all come stay for a vaca!!

[jerseyangel]

I now the psillies are the best bunch of peopple I've mostly never met but feel like I have :wub:

True dat

but.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

Gawd that looks good

Has anyone ever told you that you should write a cookbook?

Hee Bunnie--you know what I can not do? Listen to CNN and read the scroll at the bottom of the screen at the same time I don't know, your post reminded me of it

[Jestgar]

I have accomplished my to do list for the evening which consisted of:

plug in mp3 player

plug in laptop

I am astonished by my own industriousness....

[mushroom]

I have accomplished my to do list for the evening...

Aim high and you will always hit high (lol).

[Jestgar]

Aim high and you will always hit high (lol).

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

[jerseyangel]

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

A multitasker!

[mushroom]

Well, that should reduce your stress levels considerably!

[DingoGirl]

...

but.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

what in hell IS that? I want it NOW!!! Doberman tartar? bring it on!!!! (with ganache, of course)

You know, I can put up a lot 'o people in my house, and I'm known to cook nonstop when we have company (how am I not Italian???). You should all come stay for a vaca!!

don't tempt me........I'll be drivin' up with a Kitteh and a Sweet Oui-zell in no time (they are both real People Persons )

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

:lol: Um.........I do this ANY time I bring something EVILLE into my house.......if you eat it all in one day, you just do NOT have to worry about it after that

FREEZING COLD RAIN here with WINDOWS OPEN - 'tis FABULOUS!!!!!!!!

[kareng]

Hee Bunnie--you know what I can not do? Listen to CNN and read the scroll at the bottom of the screen at the same time I don't know, your post reminded me of it

Me either. If I sit with it long enough, it puts me to sleep.

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

Sounds like a busy evening. Motivating me to get moving.

:lol: Um.........I do this ANY time I bring something EVILLE into my house.......if you eat it all in one day, you just do NOT have to worry about it after that

If you eat it right away, you don't have to share!

[nikki-uk]

.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

Bloody hail Raech!!...HOW do you not EAT everything you make...it all looks so fantastically delicious!!!!!!!

The book is a fabulous ideer!!

He talks to me while I'm reading. I'm like, uh, honey? You know how you hate it when I talk during movies? Yeah, same thing here......

My son does this..... it's all (IMO) non - important/could wait noise.....I tell my son not to, he apologises....then continues to do it!

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

This is the only way

*high five* on the charging of electrical goods Geoss!!!..... I myselph consider it a great achievement (gaaawd, charging the ipod requires a torch AND a magnifying glass to get the usb thingy in the hole )