Frustrated Cooking Meals

[Guest Hoodzmom]

I was diagnosed a celiac about 15 mos. ago. I have three boys & a significant other whom are not gluten intolerant (teenagers so they eat everything insight & nutrition is not a concern with them). I have been having the problem of controlling myself from eating gluten when I'm cooking for them. I do great through the day until dinner. Not only do I cook it, then I have to stare at it on the table...UGH! I love to cook & bake, so that does not help either. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help myself say "no"? My biggest challenge is BREAD, it is my biggest weakness! I really gave in last week and ate at Olive garden - Lasagna & bread sticks...I have been feeling the results severely the last couple of days. You would think I would not forget the misery that I go through & be more committed. Any ideas?

[Michi8]

I think the simple answer would be to remove gluten-filled foods from the kitchen so that you are not tempted. Do be aware that cooking a lot with wheat flour puts you at risk of cross contamination. Baking recipes can be altered to be gluten free. Keep gluten free bread & buns in the kitchen for yourself.

How supportive is your family of your need to be gluten free? Can you simply cook gluten free meals for the whole family for dinner? If your family is not willing, then can your teens be responsible for cooking dinner for themselves and your spouse?

Michelle

[CarlaB]

Simple, if I can't eat it, I don't cook it!!

If they're teenagers (and an adult) and they want gluten, I say, let them fix it themselves!! Do they ever fix you a gluten-free food that they're not going to eat? I won't handle gluten.

Welcome!

[hez]

This was an issue for me when I was first dx. I finally decided I was the chef and I was in charge! That meant that all dinners would be gluten-free It has worked out great. The kids and dh get their gluten at lunch and breakfast and dinner is gluten-free. No one seems to miss it. You really do need to do what works best for you and your family. Have you told them how you feel? That might help.

Good Luck!

Hez

PS-Welcome to the board!

[Guest Hoodzmom]

I think the simple answer would be to remove gluten-filled foods from the kitchen so that you are not tempted. Do be aware that cooking a lot with wheat flour puts you at risk of cross contamination. Baking recipes can be altered to be gluten free. Keep gluten free bread & buns in the kitchen for yourself.

How supportive is your family of your need to be gluten free? Can you simply cook gluten free meals for the whole family for dinner? If your family is not willing, then can your teens be responsible for cooking dinner for themselves and your spouse?

Michelle

They don't realize how important it is to be gluten free. I have tried to explain to them about the disease, but because it does not always have visual or immediate effects they don't think it is serious. It is really hard for me to remove all gluten out of the house, I don't want to burden them as well. But I am liking the idea of them being responsible for their own dinner if they don't care for what I make. Thanks so much

This was an issue for me when I was first dx. I finally decided I was the chef and I was in charge! That meant that all dinners would be gluten-free It has worked out great. The kids and dh get their gluten at lunch and breakfast and dinner is gluten-free. No one seems to miss it. You really do need to do what works best for you and your family. Have you told them how you feel? That might help.

Good Luck!

Hez

PS-Welcome to the board!

Ya know, I really have not told them how I feel. I guess I just feel it is my problem & I need to deal with it. Maybe I should ask for some support. I like your idea - they do get their gluten throughout the day, one meal missed is not going to hurt them, they may like it!

[kabowman]

I am in with Carla. I do NOT cook with gluten (or soy, corn, yeast, etc.). If they want mac & cheese (or anything else with that bad, nasty stuff in it), hubby fixes it, after moving all my food away from it and takes care of it afterwards.

[Guest Hoodzmom]

Simple, if I can't eat it, I don't cook it!!

If they're teenagers (and an adult) and they want gluten, I say, let them fix it themselves!! Do they ever fix you a gluten-free food that they're not going to eat? I won't handle gluten.

Welcome!

Good point! Thank you so much! It is nice to talk with people who know what I'm going through and have experienced similar situations.

[rez]

We have been gluten free for 10 weeks and honestly if someone came and lived with me for a week, they would never know they were missing gluten. I think loving to cook and bake works to our advantage. I bake monster cookies from gluten free oats, peanut butter balls (naturally gluten free), gluten free pantry brownies are awesome too! I cook every night and don't even miss gluten. We have meat, some type of potatoe/rice/fries, fresh fruit and veggies. If I were you, I would stop cooking with gluten and they probably wouldn't even notice the difference. Also, if they complain, pass the apron!! My husband is so happy that my son's feeling better, he eats the foods with a smile. There are so many foods that are gluten free, bread is really the only thing that's not. Buy bread, I wouldn't bake it for them. I would not want those foods in the house! I have given up gluten with my son, and my acid reflux is soooooooo much better. Stick up for yourself. I never bake things my son can't eat. I feel like that is unfair to him, and you should feel it's unfair to you. Remember, a lot of the time we can't control things, and thank goodness this is a situation where you are in control. Don't even tell them and I bet they won't know. Good luck!!! Stay positive!!

PS Have your kids screened and you may have a gluten free pal! That will teach em'!!! :)

[CarlaB]

Good point! Thank you so much! It is nice to talk with people who know what I'm going through and have experienced similar situations.

That's what we're here for!! I think you will find that if you don't say anything, they won't realize the meals are gluten-free to begin with. I mean, most of our dinner foods are naturally gluten-free -- meat, veggies, potatoes and rice. They're not going to say, "Oh, I wanted BREADED chicken!" Tinkyada Pasta tastes just like regular, so they won't be missing out there either. If you're having pasta, and they want bread, that doesn't actually take any preparation on your part, just buying the bread .... I'd serve it with dishes of olive oil so you don't contaminate the butter. I actually serve my family gluten-free bread. I wasn't getting better, and I wanted ALL gluten out of the house ... since they all really wanted me better, it was no problem for them to agree. Out of 8, there are three of us completely gluten-free.

[bluejeangirl]

Another thing Hoodzmom is to keep yourself informed by reading articles, books, news anything that keeps you updated. Find out new recipes that get you excited all over again. Challenge yourself to see how close you can get new foods to taste like the old favorites. Feel yourself getting stronger and see yourself as being healed in meditation. Don't let it become "old hat". Maybe get into a group. I'll google something, maybe find an article that I can talk about with my husband or friend. I'll get people to quit eating gluten even when they don't have to.

Its like any relationship it takes alittle work to keep it fresh and exciting but the more you put into it the more strength you get to avoid the temptations and pitfalls.

Good luck

gail

[Guest Hoodzmom]

We have been gluten free for 10 weeks and honestly if someone came and lived with me for a week, they would never know they were missing gluten. I think loving to cook and bake works to our advantage. I bake monster cookies from gluten free oats, peanut butter balls (naturally gluten free), gluten free pantry brownies are awesome too! I cook every night and don't even miss gluten. We have meat, some type of potatoe/rice/fries, fresh fruit and veggies. If I were you, I would stop cooking with gluten and they probably wouldn't even notice the difference. Also, if they complain, pass the apron!! My husband is so happy that my son's feeling better, he eats the foods with a smile. There are so many foods that are gluten free, bread is really the only thing that's not. Buy bread, I wouldn't bake it for them. I would not want those foods in the house! I have given up gluten with my son, and my acid reflux is soooooooo much better. Stick up for yourself. I never bake things my son can't eat. I feel like that is unfair to him, and you should feel it's unfair to you. Remember, a lot of the time we can't control things, and thank goodness this is a situation where you are in control. Don't even tell them and I bet they won't know. Good luck!!! Stay positive!!

PS Have your kids screened and you may have a gluten free pal! That will teach em'!!! :)

Thank you, I am going to cook gluten free & see what happens! I am going to talk with my significant other as well, tell him how I feel and seek some support!

[ajay]

Thank you, I am going to cook gluten free & see what happens! I am going to talk with my significant other as well, tell him how I feel and seek some support!

*Definitely* tell him how you feel. Though it is not always the case, it can make a big difference if you try to explain it. OK, so it's not as extreme and obvious as anaphylactic shock, it's still deadly. Would your sweetie want you to drink a drop of mercury every day? I mean, It wouldn't kill you the first day, but...

Also, if it turns out your sweetie is clueless, post about it here! You may get some good advice, and you will get plenty of sympathy!

[Sweetfudge]

What I tell people who are being difficult about my diet is that eating gluten is the equivalent to eating rat poison. That gets the message across. I defintely recommend talking to your family. My husband has been so much more supportive since I've told him more, like even a crumb will get me sick. Now he helps keep me in line when I want to cheat. He reminds me of how sick I will be, and how I will just be hurting my body. I really appreciate that a lot! I try to cook mostly gluten free, but still have regular bread, tortillas and cereals for him. He has a toaster so if he wants toast w/ our dinner, he can make himself a piece, and butter it with his butter. Labeling things helps, especially for teenagers. I love using my black sharpie, and writing really big, GLUTEN FREE on my stuff. I'll also write "LUKE'S" for his stuff, so he knows its okay. If your family understands what you're going through, they will have an easier time adjusting.

Also, cooking naturally gluten-free foods is a great idea! I love making mexican dishes, meat and rice meals, and lots of potato dinners. Browse the recipe section and you'll find some good ideas that everyone will love!

I wish you the best of luck!

[rinne]

Lots of great advice and yes please make taking care of yourself a priority.

I'd just like to add that though your sons may be fine it is possible that if they have children they may have a problem. This is an ideal time to educate them so that if ever they have to deal with that they are already sensitive to the issues.

And welcome, I'm glad you are finding this forum helpful.

[emerisle]

I am quite new to being gluten-free (2 months now). I spent a good deal of time educating my husband, who is quite supportive. I decided the safest thing was to make the whole house gluten-free. He agreed. He eats whatever he wants when we go out, but at home, we eat the same. He is fine with this arrangement and better understands my frustrations with trying to find tasty breads, brownies, etc...

Good luck to you - Beth

[mamaw]

That is a problem for many... I started out cooking two separate meals--- what a hassle. By the time supper came around I was to tired to eat, I just wanted them to eat so I could clean up!!!!Then I went to meats with spices, veggies & salads so we all were eating alike.I make my own sauces so on pasta nights I just was cooking two separate pastas, then slowly when I would have leftovers I started taking my leftover pasta & mixing it in with the reg. wheat pasta & to my surprise (sort of) they ate it & couldn't tell the difference.So I started being sneaky by using gluten-free products , cookies,cake,& so on . Now we are pretty much gluten-free. That way I think they didn't feel I was sticking them with my diet.

Carla I like the way you think!!!!But I carry sucker across my forehead... I get myself roped into way to may things. Even for my church,, they always say when all else fails ask me to do it. I never refuse anyone....

Good luck & when you have something out of this world make sure you share with the gluten family. It doesn't take long for them to want it also.....

mamaw

[ArtGirl]

Hoodzmom - you've been given good advice. I'll just add my "dittos" to what the others have said. You may not be able to keep a totally gluten-free kitchen, but you certainly don't have to cook with it yourself. You can buy packaged snacks for the kids - store them far away from where you prepare and store gluten-free foods, and train them to throw the packaging away and then wash their hands after eating gluten.

I was having trouble with my husband handling bread and then touching knobs and other things in the kitchen and house (i.e., remote control). Finally yesterday I told him to pretend that breads and other gluten foods were like paint that never dries. He touches the bread, then touches something else, and the "paint" is on that and everything else he touches. so he needs to wash his hands after handling gluten foods. I think this analogy helped - this was just yesterday I said this and today he's been better at not touching things with contaminated hands.

It's a difficult concept for people to understand that only a little bit can hurt, and that gluten can be transferred from object to object to hand to mouth to.....oops, running for the bathroom! I'll tell people that it's on the molecular level and even if you can't see it, it's there. (I still have trouble with this concept myself but in reading what other very sensitive people here go through, I believe it.)

Good luck with educating your family.

[Guest nini]

Celiac is genetic, so the odds at least one of your kids has it even without symptoms is pretty high. It won't hurt them to be gluten-free for dinner. I refuse to cook with gluten at home. If my hubby wants to eat something with gluten he has to make it himself. My daughter and I are both gluten-free and we don't miss much of anything. (other than Krispy Kremes)

[StrongerToday]

My daughter is 9. I do make her sandwiches and bagels on regular bread; but other then that she eats gluten-free. IF she has a friend over I will make them mac n cheese or Chef Boy-R-Dee as a treat. That being said, it really is just the two of us so it's pretty simple to handle over here. But even when Prince Charming shows up, he'll still eat gluten-free unless he's cooking it himself

[Tree]

For what it's worth:

I keep a gluten-free house, because I need to have a safe place in my life where I don't have to be the gluten police! If we had gluten bread in the house, I would constantly be nagging my reluctant husband about how it really does matter to use a different sponge, different water, etc when washing gluten and non-gluten dishes.

Also, since we went gluten-free a little over two years ago, it was for my then-7 yo daughter. I felt like it would be pretty cruel to have her watch us eat all the good stuff in front of her. Now that I'm also gluten intolerant, I guess my fantasies of free-range breadcrumbs in the kitchen when she went to college will remain unrealized. So it goes.

[tarnalberry]

It's just me and my husband, but I dont' 'require' all gluten to be out of the house, I just won't cook it. If he wants some, he can have it; he just has to make it himself. Your husband and kids can do the same.

[Saz]

I would invest in a good recipie book. The most recent one I bought has a recipie for the yummiest looking crumbed chicken, its made with gluten-free bread crumbs and I swear their are so many herbs and spices in it you prob wouldnt even notice. I'm actaully looking foward to trying it out next week ( I hope)

[2ofus2kids2dogs]

Hi - I'm pretty new to gluten-free, only about 6 weeks. I'm the only one in my house that's eating gluten free. I have a husband and two kids. For the most part, not much has changed. I still buy stuff for them at the grocery store and still cook for them, too. I have made a few minor changes, no one has complained. I never fixed bread with every dinner, so lots of our dinners are naturally gluten free. They like the Tinykada pasta for mac and cheese and lasagna. I cook my spaghetti sauce and 2 different kinds of noodles for spaghetti. They still eat garlic toast with their italian - but I don't like garlic toast anyway. I buy the Pillsbury frozen biscuits and rolls and cook those for them when they want something. I have started making gluten free deserts that everyone is eating and loving, but I have made gluten ones, too. Normal cupcakes for halloween, slice and bake cookies, just because they're quick and easy. I just don't eat them and I'm very careful about washing my hands after handling them. My husband and kids are very supportive and glad that I'm feeling so much better. I don't think anyone would care if the the house was gluten-free, but the gluten-free foods are expensive and the homemade gluten-free foods are time consuming. Sometimes it is just a matter of what makes life easier.

I'm glad you're going to talk to them about it. Take care.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

They don't realize how important it is to be gluten free. I have tried to explain to them about the disease, but because it does not always have visual or immediate effects they don't think it is serious. It is really hard for me to remove all gluten out of the house, I don't want to burden them as well. But I am liking the idea of them being responsible for their own dinner if they don't care for what I make. Thanks so much

Ya know, I really have not told them how I feel. I guess I just feel it is my problem & I need to deal with it. Maybe I should ask for some support. I like your idea - they do get their gluten throughout the day, one meal missed is not going to hurt them, they may like it!

If one of them had celiac and NOT you, would you say it is their problem and they should deal with it and not be a burden on the rest of the family?

I hope not.

YOU ARE A FAMILY. YOU ARE NOT THEIR SERVANT.

Continued ingestion of gluten for a celiac is like continually ingesting small amounts of arsenic--it will lead to all kinds of horrible complications for you. The lining of the intestines is the tip of the iceberg: there are many on this board who have multiple autoimmune disorders: thyroid, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, fibromyalgia, and a whole host of others. These are often painful and sometimes even crippling--and on top of diarrhea, well, do you really want to go there?

Make your kitchen gluten-free. If you had a severe allergy to peanuts, you wouldn't be sprinkling your kitchen with peanuts. If one of your children were severely allergic to peanuts, I bet you wouldn't even let peanuts in the door.

If your kids want gluteny stuff, designate a corner of the kitchen as the gluten corner, and store and prepare all gluteny foods and utensils there--and it should be your kids' responsibility to prepare and clean up that area.

This will go a long way towards teaching your sons compassion and responsibillity.

[dragonmom]

After practicing a while I think we eat pretty normal meals, I really don't like gluten-free spagetti, but lasagna noodles are very good. I don't cook anything that I can't eat, but the family likes everything that I make. I still would like to make a good onion ring......I'll keep working on it. But your family really has to at least attempt to be helpful. My son was surprised when he had my gluten-free chicken fried steak and gravey -he liked it.