Ccd Teacher Got Me Upset Today

[Nic]

I registered Jacob (now 7 and in first grade) for CCD this past summer for this school year. I put it in writing that he is on a strick gluten free dairy free diet and should not be given any food without my consent. They understood. The first day of class in September I went in to speak to the teacher (who happens to be the parent of a set of twins he went to pre k with). She was very understanding and said she remembers him from pre k and know about his "allergies". Today she comes to me after class to tell me that since the class has been so good she decided to give them a treat and she bought them candy. It was chocolate hearts with rice krispies inside (alway contains gluten from what I have found). Well she handed them out to the class but told them they could not eat them until they checked with their parents because Jacob has food allergies. Well Jacob, who has been becoming more daring with cheating, ate it anyway because he knew I would take it from him. Now I understand he should know better and he was delt with but he is a child after all and really misses chocolate and made a bad decision. I am really upset that the teacher used food as a reward without telling me first. Had he not eaten it I would have taken it from him and then he wouldn't have had any reward for good behavior like the rest of the class. I can't imagine putting food in a kids hand who can't eat much of anything and telling him don't eat this. But what I am most upset about is that I acted as though this wasn't her fault and he should have known better. Which he should have but so should she as the adult. I think I should call her this week to remind her that I need to be told before she gives him any food. What do you think?

Nicole

[HAK1031]

I completely understand your frustration...that was pretty irresponsible of the teacher. What if your son had an anaphylactic allergy? He could have died. Kids his age don't really understand the consequences.

On the other hand, I understand that the teacher doesn't really know much about allergies. I mean, it is such a way of life for us...personally, even before I was DX'd, I grew up around my cousins with allergies and I knew that I couldn't touch or kiss them w/o washing my hands, and I knew to check on all the foods. So when I found out I was celiac, I knew the drill. But most people don't. I would say a (polite, for now) talk with the teacher is in order. And with your son as well...good luck

[dandelionmom]

I can see why you're upset! Why do people insist on giving kids food rewards?! Can you provide the teacher with some safe treats to hand out along with some info about celiac? Is there also someone higher up that can talk to her?

[Darn210]

What a tough situation. I think if I were in your shoes, I would remind/follow-up with the teacher and try to be nonconfrontational. If it were my daughter (who is also seven), she would get a talk about "knowing better" but they are just kids and it's tough to be different or singled out and we can't expect them to be the adult when supposedly, one is running the class. I think I would also recommend to the teacher to use a nonfood treat. Pencils, silly erasers, plastic bugs, . . . kids love that kind of junk and then nobody has to be singled out.

[home-based-mom]

Had he not eaten it I would have taken it from him and then he wouldn't have had any reward for good behavior like the rest of the class. I can't imagine putting food in a kids hand who can't eat much of anything and telling him don't eat this.

What do you think?

Nicole

I think these 2 sentences are the key to the whole issue here. The teacher wasn't thinking. The teacher is the adult. She should know better than to put such a temptation (that some adults can't handle) in front of a 7 year old and expect him to just go, "Oh, well" especially since, as you pointed out, "he wouldn't have had any reward for good behavior like the rest of the class."

I suggest scheduling an appointment with her ASAP and gently but firmly tell her that this cannot happen again. Period. Use whatever words you think are necessary, but there should be no misunderstanding about the teacher's responsibility for the safety of her students by the time you leave the classroom.

That's what I think!

[blueeyedmanda]

Well she handed them out to the class but told them they could not eat them until they checked with their parents because Jacob has food allergies.

This statement bothered me....how do you think Jacob felt when the teacher used him as the reason they cannot eat the treats....don't single kids out.

I agree non-food treats are so much better. For everyone!

[jerseyangel]

This statement bothered me....how do you think Jacob felt when the teacher used him as the reason they cannot eat the treats....don't single kids out.

I thought the same thing....she really wasn't thinking

[taweavmo3]

We had a very similar incident happen with my dd's kindergarten teacher. I was running late for the party, the teacher gave her a regular cookie, then said "oh wait, don't eat that". BUT, she didn't take it away. The teacher acted like Emmie just should have known better, and not eaten the cookie.

What else are kids going to do when such goodies are placed right in their hands??? Yes, I guess theoretically they should know better...but they are KIDS. Even adults have a hard time saying no when someone shoves such sweets right in their face.

And the whole idea of food as rewards needs to change. It is everwhere, even in my kids' school. Besides all of the allergies that are so prevalent now, childhood obesity is becoming an epidemic. Is it any wonder why??? I won't get on my soap box about that, but the school rewards with food within the same breath they are telling students to eat "five a day". My third grader is taking the TAKS test test this week...and the school is rewarding them with pizza and donuts. I want to raise a stink, b/c I think the seriously needs to be changed.

Sorry, didn't mean to go on and on, lol. I would be very upset too, and along with providing Jacob with his own bag of safe gluten free treats, I would also provide the teacher with non food alternatives. I shop online at Oriental Trading Company for lots of cheap reward goodies, and teacher stores (also Mardel if you have one) often have bulk stickers, pencils and such for super cheap. Good luck!

[Nic]

Thank you for all the support, it is nice to know I am not over reacting. This actually opened my eyes to the fact that now that Jacob is getting older he might be more willing to cheat. When he was 4-5 he wouldn't have considered it a possibility. Makes me worry about what he does at school. Iwill be talking to the CCD teacher. thanks again.

Nicole

[Mom23boys]

It is irritating that it happens but it is one of those things that just keeps coming up. If it is not her again, you can pretty much bet that someone else will do it.

We try to replace the treats our kids are given with something they will want even more than the treat -- sometimes $$, sometimes a stop off to pick up a safe candy, sometimes a stop at Starbucks...right now the oldest is into baking so he gets to bake a Gluten-free Casein-free mix we have at home.

[kbtoyssni]

It's really not fair to give candy to a kid this age and expect them to do the right thing. They need a little bit of help from the authorities figures in their life. I was also shocked that she singled him out as the kid with allergies. I'm sure she meant well, but it had to be really embarrassing for him when it was announced to everyone that he's "different". I'm also becoming more and more appealed at the stories all you parents post about food in the classroom. Food should not be used as a reward.

[superbeansprout]

wow, I'm so sorry you and your son had to deal with that. No 7 year old should be singled out to feel different or special in a negative way. Aside from the fact that kids are cruel, now they'll have something to hold against him when they can't eat those food rewards. And I also don't think kids should be given food rewards. give them the treat of an extra 10 minute recess or something active rather than lazy sugar-eating.

I think the teacher definitely needs a little reminder that just telling kids not to eat something doesn't mean they'll adhere to it. they're kids! it's candy! do the math!

I also think that since she doesn't seem to know much about what gluten is found in, she may need a reminder for that, or some information, or maybe she can just ask you for some things that he CAN eat, and just supply those for those food treat moments, instead of treats she may not know contains hidden gluten. then she wouldn't have to worry your son would get sick, and he wouldn't be singled out as the kid who's different.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

did your son get very sick from the candy then? did he learn his lesson, too? hehe. kidding!!

[home-based-mom]

or maybe she can just ask you for some things that he CAN eat, and just supply those for those food treat moments, instead of treats she may not know contains hidden gluten. then she wouldn't have to worry your son would get sick, and he wouldn't be singled out as the kid who's different.

This is what we do in AWANA at church. We find out what candy the allergic kids CAN have and make sure there is some of it in the bucket the winning team picks from. No one has to know that someone picks Laffy Taffy or Smarties because they can't have Tootsie Rolls. (Or whatever.) Everything in there is just regular stuff and the parent makes sure the kid knows what they can and cannot have. We make sure there is always something safe.

It really does not take that much effort.

[debmidge]

I don't even have willpower when it comes to candy! Imagine a kid!

It's not a hopeless situation...all the suggestions given on this thread are super. The teacher needs some "gentle guidance" and not a full blown "blow-out" ....