Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

"you Might Be A Celiac If....."


VegasCeliacBuckeye

Recommended Posts

celiac3270 Collaborator

Haha :lol: those are great!


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 259
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Guest gfinnebraska

That GAS one is just TOO true!!! Hits home way too hard!!! LOL I think that one is the winner so far... :D:lol::D

Guest Leidenschaft
:lol: Ha, with 11 dogs, (especially the Dobermanns!!) I ALWAYS have someone I can blame gas on! :lol:
tarnalberry Community Regular

... if you read this list to your SO (who doesn't have celiac) and they laughed right along with you.

Twister2 Contributor

The passing gas one is hilarious! Lets add on that one.....

-You might be a Celiac if you have ever thought you might explode from holding in a fart too long while in public..........

AT least that been my experience... :lol:

Here's some more:

-You might be a Celiac if you have ever had nightmares about being trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store

-You might be a Celiac if you have ever had a meltdown from actually BEING trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store.

Ohhh this is FUN!!! :lol:

Guest gfinnebraska

... If you call a dream about eating pizza and chocolate cake a NIGHTMARE!!

celiac3270 Collaborator

Ha...that's actually happened to me. I had a dream once where I was in a really dark restaurant and I was told a chocolate cake they had was gluten-free and even though I knew it wasn't (in the back of my mind) I ate it anyway (in the dream of course).......then I panicked and woke up...this was a few months into the diet.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



Guest Leidenschaft

"you might be a Celiac if...." you read a topic called Cheating and you just KNOW it's not about her husband and her best friend!! :blink::lol:

KaitiUSA Enthusiast

Hahaha thats a good one Tammy :lol:

Guest ajlauer

LOL. Tammy, that had never even occured to me! Too funny!!! :lol:

FaithInScienceToo Contributor

You might be a celiac if....

Your answer to this joke:

"Why did the lion spit out the clown?"

is something like...

"Because the lion had celiac and as his fangs began to clench down he saw out of the corner of his eye that the clown's hand was holding a slice of pizza ?"

When the real answer is:

"Because the clown tasted funny!"

:)

plantime Contributor

You might be a celiac if you pay $1.59 for a 12 oz bottle of rootbeer! :(

stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast

There are some things I personally noticed with me. Some aren

VegasCeliacBuckeye Collaborator

Dana is the head of R.O.C.K. (Raising Our Celiac Kids)

She is based out of So-Cal.

She started Celiac Run/Walks there and has written a few books, gives presentations and is generally a great person.

No idea who the other two are.....

KaitiUSA Enthusiast

Peter Green and Anne Lee are pretty much celiac expert doctors and work in NY celiac disease center at columbia university. They are like the best.

stef-the-kicking-cuty Enthusiast

Ah!!! Thanks, guys :lol: You're always so quick...

celiac3270 Collaborator

Yea...I said those because they are three of the most well-known specialists in their own celiac areas:

Dr. Green is the world-wide authority/expert on Celiac disease

Anne Lee works w/ Dr. Green and is the most well-known and best celiac nutritionist.

Danna Korn is probably the most known celiac author and the founder of R.O.C.K. (Raising our celiac kids).

I guess that one didn't work :lol:

Guest Leidenschaft

Hey Stef, good to see you back on the board!! :D Where ya been?? Kicking butt by the sounds of things! :lol:

Maybe "see" you on board tomorrow!

celiac3270 Collaborator

Now here's the complete list as of April 14....easily compiled for sending to people who would understand :P . We're up to 78! By the way, I love this topic!

You might be celiac if...

1. The centerpiece on your dining room table is a bread machine.

2. Your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out Play Doh.

3. Your bread weighs more than any moon rock could possibly weigh.

4. The only way you will eat your bread is toasted.

5. You've paid over $5 for a loaf of bread.

6. You make your own pizza

7. You visit a health food store at least twice a week.

8. You buy most of your food on the Internet.

9. One of your primary goals in life is to create "Fake Oreo Cookies" (and/or Cheerios)

10. There are Garage Sale stickers on all your kitchen food containers.

11. You have argued about and read articles about distilled vinegar and oats.

12. You've disinherited loved ones for putting their knife in your mayo.

13. You've ever been caught licking a discarded Twinkie wrapper.

14. At Christmas, visions of guar gum dance in your head.

15. You are a strictly brand name shopper

16. You've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101.

17. You weep at picnics, parties, receptions and fast food joints.

18. You weep at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

19. You've ever "brown bagged it" to an elegant dinner party.

20. You have written "contaminated" on jars of peanut butter.

21. You have become friends with the customer service representatives at every company.

22. The customer service representatives at every company recognize your voice.

23. You know the difference between an allergy and an intolerance...and you care.

24. You have two of everything in your kitchen (pots, pans, wooden spoons, etc.).

25. You are afraid of spices and in restaurants, ask for your food "naked."

26. You are afraid of and have nightmares about bagels, pizza, and cake.

27. You make many phone calls from the supermarket.

28. You know what disodium phosphate, tartaric acid, and quinoa are...and care.

29. You know who Danna Korn, Peter Green, and Anne Lee are.

30. You bring many, many lists with you to the supermarket.

31. The first thing you do, upon reaching an unfamiliar location, is pinpoint the location of the nearest bathroom.

32. You have ever tried to explain to a waiter that "it is necessary to use clean pans for you food" and he stares back at you in disbelief.

33. You ordered a salad with no croutons and the entire time its being made you wish you could go back to the kitchen and watch them prepapre it but were afraid to ask.

34. You have taken a poop at all of your friends and relatives houses, even if you just met them...

35. You have explained to people the difference/similarities between Modified Food Starch and Modified Corn Starch at least 50 times (or you know what disodium phosphate is -- celiac3270)

36. You ask Asian restaurants if they have baked or mashed potatoes

37. You ask every restaurant if they have baked/mashed potatoes

38. You've kissed someone who just drank beer and wonder if you will get sick

39. You've kissed someone who just drank a beer and you really wanted their beer instead of your vodka/tonic, wine, spritzer, ......

40. You've responded to someone's post on a website about bowel problems and were brutally honest about your own "issues with bowels"

41. You read this post and laughed because you've "been there"

42. People think you're on the Atkins diet

43. You've asked for a bunless burger...and been looked at as if you have three heads.

44. You've asked about the ingredients of shampoo

45. You post on this board...that's not funny, though

46. You've washed your telephone after your child/spouse has answered it while eating.

47. You've checked all cups in a coffee shop for crumb residue.

48. You can say Kinnikinnick 10 times fast without making a mistake

49. With just one quick whiff, you can pinpoint the brand name and fragrance of every air freshener on the market!

50. You have had to leave the room because someone else was eating Pizza Hut's breadsticks and they smelled TOOOOOOO good!

51. Someone else complains of IBS, and you tell them to quit eating gluten!

52. Or you know someone that was dx with diverticulitis and you tell them to stop eating gluten!!!

53. You don't know what a "normal" bowel movement is.

54. You thought of (or started) a topic called "you might be a celiac if...."

55. Eating out is a "death sentence" not an enjoyable event!

56. All you eat at the church pot luck dinner is jello

57. Your tears compete with your drool when you pass a Krispy Kreme!!!

58. Carry some type of medication with 24/7 (ie Immodium)

59. At least once a day smile and say, "Sorry, I can't have that"

60. Have been lectured on your crazy dieting and told to just forget about your weight

61. Have survived for some period of time solely on rice or peanut butter

62. Physically flinch at the feel of bread or similar product

63. Feel nauseous at the sight of some gluten filled food

64. Have mastered the art of passing gas in public

65. You read this list to your SO (who doesn't have celiac) and they laughed right along with you.

66. You have ever thought you might explode from holding in a fart too long while in public

67. You have ever had nightmares about being trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store

68. You have ever had a meltdown from actually BEING trapped in the bread aisle in the grocery store.

69. You call a dream about eating pizza and chocolate cake a NIGHTMARE!!

70. You read a topic called Cheating and you just KNOW it's not about her husband and her best friend!!

71. Your answer to this joke: "Why did the lion spit out the clown?" is something like... "Because the lion had celiac and as his fangs began to clench down he saw out of the corner of his eye that the clown's hand was holding a slice of pizza ?" When the real answer is: "Because the clown tasted funny!"

72. You pay $1.59 for a 12 oz bottle of rootbeer!

73. You

Canadian Karen Community Regular

You might be celiac if........

Your children just "know" that it is not safe to go into the bathroom for at least 5 minutes after you leave it..... ;)

Karen

KarenCM Rookie

Thanks for starting this topic. I started laughing and couldn't stop after reading that gas one. I used to be able to clear a room and my brother would always walk in front of me when out in public never behind me hahaha. Here is my little addition You might be a Celiac if someone has said to you "Just try a little bit and see if it hurts your tummy"

Karen

I thought of another one

You might be a Celiac if a family member has sprayed the air freshener directly on you hoping that will help and you will fart Spring Fresh.

VegasCeliacBuckeye Collaborator

80. You've ever asked the waitress is the ice tea has wheat in it....

81. You've rolled your eyes when a non-celiac has said to you in a health food store, "I've (voluntarily) tried the gluten free diet before, I felt great"

82. You been afraid of having your significant other spend the night because of "night gas"...

83. You have sent someone else to the store to buy "emergency pepto"

84. You have received 3 copies of Bette Hagman's books collecting dust in your bookcase

85. You've actually said a profanity in a grocery store after reading an ingredient label and seen "wheat flour" as one of the ingredients....

86. You've wondered if Pepto or Immodium have "hidden gluten"

87. You've thought that your future soulmate is another celiac

88. You've called 4 grocery stores and 3 duistributors in various parts of your home state to encourage them to carry Bard's Dragon Gold Beer -- I did that this week :)

89 Every time you order gluten-free food at a chain fast food restaurant, you lean over and try to watch them make it..

Time for bed....

celiac3270 Collaborator

Ahhh....some more good ones.

Karen, you're back! :D

mytummyhurts Contributor

I don't think I saw these on there:

You eat before you go out to eat.

You ask family members to bring barf bags home from airplane flights.

You tell your husband to drive really fast and then you still have to stop at a public restroom when you are only 5 minutes from home.

Your significant other knows what it means when you look at him and say "Uh-oh, I don't feel so good."

Canadian Karen Community Regular

You might be celiac if:

You call the bread aisle in the supermarket "The Aisle of Death"......

Karen

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,188
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Leeila
    Newest Member
    Leeila
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Ginger38
      So I recently had allergy testing for IGE antibodies in response to foods. My test results came back positive to corn, white potatoes, egg whites. Tomatoes, almonds and peanuts to name a few.  I have had obvious reactions to a few of these - particularly tomatoes and corn- both GI issues. I don’t really understand all this allergy versus celiac stuff. If the food allergies are mild do I have to avoid these foods entirely? I don’t know what I will eat if I can’t  have corn based gluten free products 
    • Kris2093u4
      Geography makes a difference.  I'm in the West and Trader Joe's gluten-free bread tastes great and is a better price than most gluten-free breads sold elsewhere in my area.  
    • JForman
      We have four children (7-14 yo), and our 7 year old was diagnosed with NCGS (though all Celiac labs were positive, her scope at 4 years old was negative so docs in the US won't call it celiac). We have started her on a Gluten Free diet after 3 years of major digestive issues and ruling out just about everything under the sun. Our home and kitchen and myself are all gluten-free. But I have not asked my husband/her dad or her other siblings to go completely gluten-free with us. They are at home, but not out of the home. This has led to situations when we are eating out where she has to consistently see others eating things she can't have and she has begun to say "Well, I can't have <fill in the blank>...stupid gluten."  How have you supported your gluten-free kiddos in the mental health space of this journey, especially young ones like her. I know it's hard for me as an adult sometimes to miss out, so I can't imagine being 7 and dealing with it! Any tips or ideas to help with this? 
    • Jane878
      By the time I was 5 I had my first auto0immune disorder, Migraine headaches, with auras to blind me, and vomiting, sensitivity to light and sound. I was 5 years old, and my stepfather would have pizza night, milling his own flour, making thick cheesy gluten pizza, that I would eat and the next day, I would have serious migraines, and my mother & stepfather did nothing about my medical problems. When I was 17 in my first year at college, I was diagnosed with my 2nd known auto-immune disorder, Meniere's disease. I was a elite athlete, a swimmer, and soccer player. And once again my parents didn't think anything of understanding why I had a disorder only older people get. Now after my mother passed from Alzheimer's disease she also suffered with living with gluten. She had a rash for 30 years that nobody could diagnose. She was itchy for 45 years total. My brother had a encapsulated virus explodes in his spleen and when this happened his entire intestines were covered with adhesions, scar tissue and he almost lost his life. He has 5 daughters, and when I finally was diagnosed after being pregnant and my body went into a cytokine storm, I lost my chance to have children, I ended up having Hashimoto's disease, Degenerative Disc disease, and my body started to shut down during my first trimester. I am 6ft tall and got down to 119lbs. My husband and I went to a special immunologist in Terrace, California. They took 17 vials of blood as we flew there for a day and returned home that evening. In 3 weeks, we had the answer, I have Celiac disease. Once this was known, only my father and husband made efforts to change their way of feeding me. At the family cabin, my stepfather & mother were more worried that I would ruin Thanksgiving Dinner. It wasn't until one of my cousins was diagnosed with Celiac disease. They finally looked into getting Gluten Free flour and taking measures to limit "gluten" in meals. He did nothing but ask for me to pay for my own food and wi-fi when I came to the cabin to stay after our house burned down. When he informed my mother, they proceeding to get into a physical fight and she ended up with a black eye. The is just more trauma for me. Sam had no interest in telling the truth about what he wanted. He lied to my mother that he had asked my husband if I could pay for "food" when he asked Geoffrey if I had money to pay for my wi-fi. My mother hates when he spends so much time on the computer so he lied and said I could pay for my own food. I will remind you I weighed 119lbs at this time. (At 6ft) that is a very sick looking person. Neither parent was worried about my weight, they just fought about how cheap my stepfather was. As my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2014. He had her sign over the will to a trust and added his children. He had no testimonial capacity at the time, so she signed without proper papers. Making this Trust null and void. When I gave my brother my childhood home, my mother stated I would be getting an equal part of inheritance to the house on Race. It currently worth 2.0 million $. I got nothing, and my stepfather has since disowned me b/c of my claim and he knows that my mother would never have left it uneven between my biological brother and myself. She sat me and my husband down, as we lived at the Race Street house and treated and took care of it as our own. My brother took over b/c he was going through a horrific divorce and needed a home so he could get a better custody deal with his soon to be ex-wife who was a Assist DA for Denver. She used the girls against him, and he & I were the primary caregivers. We, Judd and I spent the most time with them pre the divorce. Once Judd moved into the house, he threw all of my mother, grandmother and my family heirlooms out to the Goodwill. Nobody told my mother about this as she was going through cancer treatment and had Alzheimer's disease in her mother and her sister. My stepfather and biological brother took advantage of this matter, as I called a "family council" that my brother just never could make it to at the last moment. All of the furnishing, kitchen ware, everything was in the house my brother just moved into. He had had 2 weddings, I chose to elope b/c my stepfather ruined my brother's first wedding by talking about his relationship with my brother in front of my dad and his entire family, insulting him and having my grandfather leave the ceremony. It was a disaster. My stepfather just plays dumb and blames my father for the slight. I was the only child not to have a wedding. So, my mother and stepfather never had to pay for a thing. My mother had had an agreement with my father he'd pay for college and all medical issues with their kids, myself and Judd. So truly my mother never had to pay for anything big for me in her entire life. I am looking for anyone that has had a similar story, where they grew up in a household that had a baker that regularly milled flour and ate gluten. What happened to you? DId you suffer from different auto-immune diseases b/c of living with a baker using "gluten" Please let me know. I have been looking into legal ways to get my stepfather to give me what my mother had promised, and he erased. Thank you for listening to my story. Jane Donnelly  
    • trents
      Possibly gluten withdrawal. Lot's of info on the internet about it. Somewhat controversial but apparently gluten plugs into the same neuro sensors as opiates do and some people get a similar type withdrawal as they do when quitting opiates. Another issue is that gluten-free facsimile flours are not fortified with vitamins and minerals as is wheat flour (in the U.S. at least) so when the switch is made to gluten-free facsimile foods, especially if a lot of processed gluten-free foods are being used as substitutes, vitamin and mineral deficiencies can result. There is also the possibility that she has picked up a virus or some but that is totally unrelated to going gluten-free.
×
×
  • Create New...