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K8ling

By K8ling
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted

So most of you know the trouble I have encountered with my MiL and the gluten-free/Celiac thing. We are going to their house this weekend and she called today...to tell me that she bought gluten-free bread and bagels for me. I almost fell out of my chair. A woman who asked if it was "my time of the month" because I was balled up on the floor from a glutening, and then purposely CC'd me to see my reaction...was being helpful. I don't know it she googled it, or what, but she was all too willing to be helpful, even going as far as to let me cook dinner Friday night when we get there.

Should I be cautiously optimistic? On guard? Concerned (is she going to poison me?! Put Gluten in my tea in the morning?!)???

I'm not entirely sure how to handle this!

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lucia Enthusiast
lucia
Posted

Sounds like she's been testing you ... maybe you passed the test??? Yes, I really do get sick when I eat that stuff !

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Maybe FIL said something. Maybe she realized she might not see the grandbaby if she doesn't shape up. Maybe she just had fun going to Whole Foods and wants to try the stuff (similiar to my hub). If other family members think she is not a witch, then maybe, she's not. Maybe, she is just confused. I'm 20 years older than you and can say that for some my age and older, cooking for the family is the way we show love. Hopefully, she just needs to adjust.

So K8, I take back what I said about not going. Give her one more chance....but keep one eye open. :)

(oh yea, report back after)

sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

I'd be cautiously optimistic, on guard, concerned and watch her carefully! (hopefully your FIL got to her)

precious831 Contributor
precious831
Posted

So most of you know the trouble I have encountered with my MiL and the gluten-free/Celiac thing. We are going to their house this weekend and she called today...to tell me that she bought gluten-free bread and bagels for me. I almost fell out of my chair. A woman who asked if it was "my time of the month" because I was balled up on the floor from a glutening, and then purposely CC'd me to see my reaction...was being helpful. I don't know it she googled it, or what, but she was all too willing to be helpful, even going as far as to let me cook dinner Friday night when we get there.

Should I be cautiously optimistic? On guard? Concerned (is she going to poison me?! Put Gluten in my tea in the morning?!)???

I'm not entirely sure how to handle this!

Sounds like something my MIL would do. I would be cautiously optimistic! I would just be very careful. She sounds like she is not looking out for your interest and would rather prove a point kwim? I can't stand people like that!

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

I just do not trust anyone. I see her buying gluten free bread and rolls, tossing them out and filling the bag with glutened stuff. lol I sure hope I'm wrong!

RideAllWays Enthusiast
RideAllWays
Posted

I just do not trust anyone. I see her buying gluten free bread and rolls, tossing them out and filling the bag with glutened stuff. lol I sure hope I'm wrong!

AHHH that's horrible!!! Has anything like this actually happened to anybody?

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MagpieWrites Rookie
MagpieWrites
Posted

AHHH that's horrible!!! Has anything like this actually happened to anybody?

Gluten? Thus far not in my case. However, my mother-in-law got caught rubbing shellfish all over my plate one night while out at a restaurant (deathly allergic) "because she wanted to prove I was just trying to ruin her night out". So... yeah. I'm sure there could be some evil sons of biscuits out there who might try.

Just hoping no one here as any particularly evil family members.

torimuse Rookie
torimuse
Posted

Gluten? Thus far not in my case. However, my mother-in-law got caught rubbing shellfish all over my plate one night while out at a restaurant (deathly allergic) "because she wanted to prove I was just trying to ruin her night out". So... yeah. I'm sure there could be some evil sons of biscuits out there who might try.

Just hoping no one here as any particularly evil family members.

"Evil sons of biscuits" is starting to sound like a worse insult than the original line. :) Thank you for the unintentional amusement, Magpie.

frieze Community Regular
frieze
Posted

I just do not trust anyone. I see her buying gluten free bread and rolls, tossing them out and filling the bag with glutened stuff. lol I sure hope I'm wrong!

that is what i thought of, as well

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

Can you ask her where she purchased them from? I wouldn't trust someone who played a trick the first time. It's too serious to trust to a "toxic" person.

Pretend you have a "gluten" indicator and tell her you're going to bring it along to test the items (I believe there is such a thing). Tell this to her face and see what facial reaction she has......otherwise, I would not trust her to do the right thing.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

So most of you know the trouble I have encountered with my MiL and the gluten-free/Celiac thing. We are going to their house this weekend and she called today...to tell me that she bought gluten-free bread and bagels for me. I almost fell out of my chair. A woman who asked if it was "my time of the month" because I was balled up on the floor from a glutening, and then purposely CC'd me to see my reaction...was being helpful. I don't know it she googled it, or what, but she was all too willing to be helpful, even going as far as to let me cook dinner Friday night when we get there.

Should I be cautiously optimistic? On guard? Concerned (is she going to poison me?! Put Gluten in my tea in the morning?!)???

I'm not entirely sure how to handle this!

Now I'm dying to know what happened? Were the gluten free bread and bagels legit? I would given her another chance if she sounds sincere. Just be cautious.

looking4help Apprentice
looking4help
Posted

Geeeezz! Such a hard call. The idea of the "gluten indicator" sounds really good! Having a back up supply of food in your suitcase also sounds good!

I know that some of those not so wonderful mother in laws can change after they realize you are the one in determining certain things she wants, such as visits with grandson, HER SON etc. That is how I worked my MIL.

Please do update us!

Magpie, seriously your MIL rubbed shellfish all over your plate? MAN! There are truly evil people in this world!

Now I'm dying to know what happened? Were the gluten free bread and bagels legit? I would given her another chance if she sounds sincere. Just be cautious.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I'm hoping no news is good news. Or K8 is in jail for strangling her MIL. :)

looking4help Apprentice
looking4help
Posted

:blink: We should have set up an alibi story for her! :P

I'm hoping no news is good news. Or K8 is in jail for strangling her MIL. :)

K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted
  • Author

HAHA I love ALL of you! Yes, I am indeed, ALIVE AND KICKING! I think she finally got the point that if I keep getting sick around her, MY son will not see her. At all. My husband and I cooked all weekend to introduce her to gluten-free cooking, and she even went to Publix with me to get ingredients! We were coloring outside with the baby (sidewalk chalk) and she asked tons of questions. She set all my food away from the wheat stuff, across the kitchen, labeled my butter and PB, and made my munchkin PB and J with RICE BREAD!! When she did give the kid bites of Glutenous stuff she told me after, and washed his hands.

Oh and, the gluten-free stuff was LEGIT! She even used my pans and bought special plastic cooking spoons- plastic and whatnot- that will live in a special drawer. She raised the idea of getting a medic alert bracelet so people would take it more seriously.

Now, I am not saying that I trust her 100% HOWEVER this was a MUCH better weekend than I expected. She asked about alcohol, mixers...she even sent us out for dates both nights we were there (the reunion was cancelled and so we had down time). FiL said she felt terrible for making me so sick (although she maintains she did nothing WRONG, it was an accident). Things are looking decidedly up.

Thank you so much for the support everyone, I was dreading this and I made it through (and couldn't have done it without you guys!). The only tummy troubles I had were from drinking a tiny bit too much (LOL). I will still be nervous about Thanksgiving, but I am less worried than I was. And I think I AM going to get a bracelet because it'll help people take it seriously.

OH, and she bought Tom's Toothpaste because she "read it was gluten-free and toothpaste matters, right?"

Cautiously optimistic- I NEVER let my guard down, but instead of walls lined with spikes they're just brick walls :P

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

WOW

Great, K8! ;)

I would still keep an eye on her just because she doesn't do this all the time and might make an honest mistake or forget something. My Hub sometimes forgets because some things are a habit he will have to break. The best in my house has been my 14 year old son who isn't Celiac. He reminds me sometimes and double checks ingredients id he thinks something might be suspicious.

Ahorsesoul Enthusiast
Ahorsesoul
Posted

My hats off to your in-laws! Love her idea of the Med-ID bracelet.

GlutenFreeManna Rising Star
GlutenFreeManna
Posted

HAHA I love ALL of you! Yes, I am indeed, ALIVE AND KICKING! I think she finally got the point that if I keep getting sick around her, MY son will not see her. At all. My husband and I cooked all weekend to introduce her to gluten-free cooking, and she even went to Publix with me to get ingredients! We were coloring outside with the baby (sidewalk chalk) and she asked tons of questions. She set all my food away from the wheat stuff, across the kitchen, labeled my butter and PB, and made my munchkin PB and J with RICE BREAD!! When she did give the kid bites of Glutenous stuff she told me after, and washed his hands.

Oh and, the gluten-free stuff was LEGIT! She even used my pans and bought special plastic cooking spoons- plastic and whatnot- that will live in a special drawer. She raised the idea of getting a medic alert bracelet so people would take it more seriously.

Now, I am not saying that I trust her 100% HOWEVER this was a MUCH better weekend than I expected. She asked about alcohol, mixers...she even sent us out for dates both nights we were there (the reunion was cancelled and so we had down time). FiL said she felt terrible for making me so sick (although she maintains she did nothing WRONG, it was an accident). Things are looking decidedly up.

Thank you so much for the support everyone, I was dreading this and I made it through (and couldn't have done it without you guys!). The only tummy troubles I had were from drinking a tiny bit too much (LOL). I will still be nervous about Thanksgiving, but I am less worried than I was. And I think I AM going to get a bracelet because it'll help people take it seriously.

OH, and she bought Tom's Toothpaste because she "read it was gluten-free and toothpaste matters, right?"

Cautiously optimistic- I NEVER let my guard down, but instead of walls lined with spikes they're just brick walls :P

It's like a miracle! Wow, sounds like she really did do some research and figured out you are not just a hypochondriac. Of course you still need to be on your guard, but it appears she is going to be more cooperative in the future. That's half the battle won right there. :)

torimuse Rookie
torimuse
Posted

Congrats, K8!! That's amazing. :)

K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted
  • Author

well lets not get crazy now, I think she was more open HOWEVER once she has to handle the butt pain of cooking for me in a gluten kitchen, we may backslide a bit.

But yes, VAST improvements!!

looking4help Apprentice
looking4help
Posted

This is awesome! Remember MILs really do respond to the threat of not being able to see their own son much less their grandkids!

Ultimately, just put your good smile on and "sweet" her to death! Give her a call and tell her how very much you appreciate the extra care.

I find if I "sweet" my MIL enough she is in a place where if she does act like a B to me then everyone int he family gets on her case because after all I have been NOTHING but nice! HEEHEEHHEHEE

Keep up the guard! We're here girl!

well lets not get crazy now, I think she was more open HOWEVER once she has to handle the butt pain of cooking for me in a gluten kitchen, we may backslide a bit.

But yes, VAST improvements!!

K8ling Enthusiast
K8ling
Posted
  • Author

HAHAHA I am officially going to "sweet" her to death, I love that term!!! . I sent a Thank you card this morning. Husband just said I was "waging maternal warfare".

looking4help Apprentice
looking4help
Posted

Well, SHE may open the card and think WTF but I promise the rest of the family will smile and think things are all hunky dory again!

Imagine this: MIL did NOT like me one bit. Horror stories I could tell you. THEN about 4 years into this I sent her roses for Mothers day. HAHAHHAHAHA! I had her there. Everyone was like ohhhh ohhhhh how sweet!! See she isn't bad at all!!

I am like HEHEHEHEHEEHE!!! Of course it was all the more sweet when I found out that noone had ever sent her roses before in all her years!! HAHAHA!! I promise I never ever forget to send that bouquet of flowers EVERY year!

HA!

If you need ideas how to "sweet" her let me know. I got a million of them by now!

HAHAHA I am officially going to "sweet" her to death, I love that term!!! . I sent a Thank you card this morning. Husband just said I was "waging maternal warfare".

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