The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[blueeyedmanda]

See what happens....I go out for the afternoon and Emily scares another potential silly away.....Em what are we going to do with you????

Tom hope you are feeling a little more silly after your appointment....

[confused]

I keep forgetting about the silly thread. I really need to make an note on my computer, to check in more often lol

paula

[Green12]

I'm off to the Naturopath in an hour, so wish me luck.

GOOD LUCK TOM!!!!! I hope she (he?) can help you

Nikki, happy anniversary!! Did you do anything special? I am so glad to hear wee Boris is a little bit better And a Turkey holiday, WOO HOO!!!! You lucky duck!

Our turkey holiday has a much different meaning

Hey Paula!

[jerseyangel]

I've just realised it's my 20th Wedding Anniversary today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary to you and Terry, Nik! Go fer the platinum....

I think if you provide some........ah............ BAD behaviour............it might just get you through this debackel.....

Judy!!

I used to work with this really 'macho' guy, who had a stay-at-home wife who raised their three boys. One Monday he came in to work and said "my wife went visit her parents, so I had the boys to myself this weekend. Now I understand why sometimes, when I get home at night, I walk in the house, hear the car door slam, and look out the window to see my wife driving away..."

Oh yeah--I can (or could) relate!

Wow-weeeeee! This is the longest lasting thread ever invented!!!

Well, yes it is, Anna--and welcome!

Hey, hey!! Not so fast............

and the odd penis sling......

...and....

...dare I say it???.........

ANAL GLAND!!!!

Emily, behave yerself--we have company!!

Hope it went well, Pataughmn--I'm too late to wish you luck

Hi Julie

[elye]

See what happens....I go out for the afternoon and Emily scares another potential silly away.....Em what are we going to do with you????

Anna?

Aaaaaaaaa-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??

Gaaaaawwwwwd,........

Oh, hell!.....if ya scoot after a mere mention of anal glands, ya jus' don't stand a chance here over the long haul..... . . . ..

I also mentioned penis slings, didn't I?..........

Oh, c'mon, Anna...........these are just things we.....mention............from time to time, here.

Gad..............................

[curlyfries]

So, I'm outside this evening, weeding and going along great guns when I pull this good-sized weed out from under a shrub......and an entire colony of ground bees come pouring out! I drop my shovel, run towards the porch, dropping my gardening gloves and waving my arms to try and keep the bees away (quite a sight, I'm sure )

I had never heard about ground bees until this........then it came up at a family get-together today.......my daughter had seen them by her apartment

....and the odd penis sling......

...and....

...dare I say it???.........

ANAL GLAND!!!!

Don't forget kangaroo scrotums.........and ballcocks

I want to win 217 dollars ..........and a cleaner................and a trip to Turkey..............and Tom's silly to come back .........................................I'll pass on the bee sting, though.

[happygirl]

Happy 20th, Anniversary, Nikki!!!

[Jestgar]

Oh, hell!.....if ya scoot after a mere mention of anal glands, ya jus' don't stand a chance here over the long haul..... . . . ..

well, yah, but ya gotta eeeaase 'em into these things, start out small, with words that take you a minute to remember what they mean, like scrotum. then go for the bigger, more intimidating words, like penis, and ironing, and then, when they've gotten accustomed to those things, theeennn you squeeze out the anal glands.

[elye]

well, yah, but ya gotta eeeaase 'em into these things, start out small, with words that take you a minute to remember what they mean, like scrotum. then go for the bigger, more intimidating words, like penis, and ironing, and then, when they've gotten accustomed to those things, theeennn you squeeze out the anal glands.

Okay, lemme make sure I've got this down.... . .. .scrotum first.... ....then penis......ironing..... . . (we could slide "lesbian" in here, as it does make one's face look so nice when enunciated).....all right, and after all that, anal glands can be tossed out.

Got it.

Dropping the kids of at the pool?

[Jestgar]

Dropping the kids of at the pool?

Cryptic works any time

[jerseyangel]

Hee! I love how ironing is included in this particular list.....

Does anyone know if a bee sting is supposed to itch like crazy the next day? This is seriously the second one I've had in me whole life and I don't remember such itching. My skin is also pink in the area of the sting--about the size of a quarter. Does that sound right?

[tom]

Hi Anna!

EM!!!!!!!!!

To everyone BUT our Divine Miss Em:

shouldn't we have tried to recruit more ~July 2-12 or so??

Mefinks Em piqued peeked

Happy Anniv Gnic!!

<twenny's a bunch>

Wasn't Turkey last year too? Sure must've liked it. No Shveeden? Odessa, Minsk or Luxembourg? Bulgaria? Jess could translate "Is there wheat, barley, rye or anal glands in this soup?" for you!!

(Apologies if I misremembered the B_____ country!)

The old fashioned gift was China

Modern day is platinum

I ain't getting either

It's just as well. Platinum from China often contains lead.

I *am* feeling better. She's the same N.D. I originally saw for candida in '05.

There's a bit of an uplift just in feeling confident that some progress will be made.

We talked for an hour, which was apparently longer than she expected.

Of course, I walk out w/ $168 worth of jars.

I had never heard about ground bees until this........then it came up at a family get-together today.......

For a moment this seemed to be leading t'wards beeburgers on the Weber.

(2allbeeburgersspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedGFbun!!)

(Ya Em . .. .eeeeeeeeaase 'em)

[tom]

Does anyone know if a bee sting is supposed to itch like crazy the next day? This is seriously the second one I've had in me whole life and I don't remember such itching. My skin is also pink in the area of the sting--about the size of a quarter. Does that sound right?

That's how I remember 'em.

Maybe closer to nickel-sized for me long long ago. (in a backyard far far away)

[jerseyangel]

I *am* feeling better.

There's a bit of an uplift just in feeling confident that some progress will be made.

Glad yer feeling more upbeat! Sounds like a very productive appointment--many dollars worth of glass jars....intriguing

[jerseyangel]

That's how I remember 'em.

Maybe closer to nickel-sized for me long long ago. (in a backyard far far away)

Ok...good...thanks! I was imagining all sorts of sinister things going on under there

I need to chill

[~alex~]

Hee! I love how ironing is included in this particular list.....

Does anyone know if a bee sting is supposed to itch like crazy the next day? This is seriously the second one I've had in me whole life and I don't remember such itching. My skin is also pink in the area of the sting--about the size of a quarter. Does that sound right?

Hey Patti,

Ryan and I recently took CPR/First Aid since we sometimes look after his nieces and nephews and we are with our aging grandparents (and parents! ) quite often and so we wanted to be prepared for anything. Anyway, we learned that for bee stings it helps to put baking soda on the area because the bee venom stuff decreases the pH of the tissue causing some of the inflammation and pain. And for future reference if you get stung by a wasp you should put vinegar on it because wasp venom increases the pH of the tissue. Although I don't if this helps to relieve pain only if you do it shortly after the sting or if doing it now would help as well.

[jerseyangel]

Wow Alex--thank you! I'll try the baking soda It still itches, so it can't hurt and might help!

How have you been? Haven't seen you around these parts in a while.

[Judyin Philly]

patti

meat tenderizer works for jelly fish stings......wonder if it would help the tiching.

Yes i think they do itch maybe days after at least mine do.

the baking soda sounds good or maybe some cortizone cream in a tube?

not a dr here, just throwing some things out there that aren't researched......

judy

[Darn210]

Hey guys . . . remember me??

Just a quick poop-in. We're back. Mostly unpacked. Not too much laundry. Pretty tired and looks like I got sum reedin to due.

FYI . . . kicked Edna to the curb within the first hour of the trip . . . feelin' like a beached whale.

[FoxersArtist]

Hmmm, the penis song eh? Anal what? Well, if that was your best shot, be warned...I'm not that easy to scare away, though confused is something that happens to me quite regularly...that and getting myself wedged in lavatory doors. That takes talent since I'm a whapping 120lbs. What would people think if I got wedged WHILE singing the penis song? Would that scare more than a few people away? For those who read my threads related to food disasters and bathroom nightmares, you already knew that I have a sense of humor.

-Anna

Hey, hey!! Not so fast........Guys, I smell another phunny 'un here.....

Anna! Welcome to the craziness!

You do NOT want to crawl back to your corner, now that you're in this vast expanse of hilarity and mirth, lightning-speed and rife with nonsensical splendour..... .. . .

....and the odd penis sling......

...and....

...dare I say it???.........

ANAL GLAND!!!!

[FoxersArtist]

I think my very first recollection of the words "anal gland" came out of my brother-in-laws mouth and though I was quite sure it was too much information, I was not at all in the least bit surprised. What are brother-in-laws for? This was the same man who insisted that "Snakes on a Plane" was "awesome."

-Anna

well, yah, but ya gotta eeeaase 'em into these things, start out small, with words that take you a minute to remember what they mean, like scrotum. then go for the bigger, more intimidating words, like penis, and ironing, and then, when they've gotten accustomed to those things, theeennn you squeeze out the anal glands.

[FoxersArtist]

Dropping the kids of at the pool?

Ok, NOOO! Anything but that!!! My husband heard that a few months ago and thought it was the greatest phrase ever (Grrreeeaaat.) Somehow I just can't force myself to associate "kids" with my own BMs. Their BMs on the other hand, lets not go there. Our 2 year old dropped the kids off at the "ocean" the other day. Thank goodness Hubby was on duty as I stayed as far away from the bathtub as possible. Come to think of it, you can get a nice visual by looking at my avitar.

-Anna

[blueeyedmanda]

my coworkers use the same phrase....dropping the kids off at the pool only they dont use the word kids....

[nikki-uk]

Happy 20th, Anniversary, Nikki!!!

Thanks Laura!!

Wasn't Turkey last year too? Sure must've liked it. No Shveeden? Odessa, Minsk or Luxembourg? Bulgaria? Jess could translate "Is there wheat, barley, rye or anal glands in this soup?" for you!!

(Apologies if I misremembered the B_____ country!)

Ptaum!!.....calm down!!......I haven't visited every country in Europe!!

Yes, Turkey again ....because it's so lovely...so cheap to eat out (one of the few countries that hasn't got 'The Euro' for currency....the pound is very weak against it now)

It's just as well. Platinum from China often contains lead.

Ptaum getting glimmers of silly back??

Hey guys . . . remember me??

Darn210....Mmmmm........it does ring a bell.......let's see now........... ..........

Just a quick poop-in. We're back. Mostly unpacked. Not too much laundry. Pretty tired and looks like I got sum reedin to due.

Gian-knit!!!!!!

Git reading!!!!.........and HOW do you have very little laundry??????..........tell US your secret!!!!!!!!!!

FYI . . . kicked Edna to the curb within the first hour of the trip . . . feelin' like a beached whale.

T'would be illegal to DO any different

OMGAWD!!!!!!!!!!

Anna said there's a Penis SONG????? (what are the words?? I don't believe I know it......how does it go??? )

.........is that as well as a sling???????

Off for me 'double Sven'

[elye]

Good Sunday Morning, Sillies!

Ah! I missed the return of Anna last night! You are made of the good, strong stuff we need 'round here, girl.....Your name means gracious and merciful - - I dunno how that's gonna fit in with us bunch of tell-it-like-it-is, no holds barred characters. Grace and mercy in Sillyville?? It'd be a foist.......

A PENIS SONG???! OMG...... . ... . . . .

Why do I not know this song?????

Would it by any chance be a campfire-type song that I could introduce to the cubs scouts? Need a new one for the fall session. You know, a joining-in kind of tune with rounds that repeat, and shouting, etc.?

Somehow, I would doubt it. But this would be a verrrrrrry interesting piece of music for an adult cottage party........

To everyone BUT our Divine Miss Em: shouldn't we have tried to recruit more ~July 2-12 or so??

Ptaoughmghmn, I must take this moment to voice my constant amazement at your recognition of dates and other number-y things. Hell, I can't even remember when I was away!

"Is there wheat, barley, rye or anal glands in this soup?"

Mygawd.... . .I wonder if we ever do inadvertently eat those? You hear of beaks and horns and hooves being thrown secretly in......

Could become a much-coveted, rare entree item in the most exclusive of world eating establishments..... . That small, bohemian place tucked into a corner near The Pompidou in Paris, quietly featuring a dish of braised Glandes Analles with shallots and cranberry feta.

You wait, and mark my words.........

I *am* feeling better.