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My Very Good Friend

plantime

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plantime Contributor
plantime
Posted

She was 45. She was diagnosed with nonspecific-somethingorother-carcinoma less than a year ago. Last night, she gave up the fight completely and went to heaven.

This hurts me hard. I moved around all my childhood, and the last ten years I have lived in this same house, and had the same friends. Now I have lost one to a disease. I am angry at the disease. I feel like my anger is irrational, since a disease is not a living being. But I am angry, nonetheless. It stole a beautiful, vibrant woman from her loved ones.

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wowzer Community Regular
wowzer
Posted

Dear Dessa, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It is very hard to lose a dear friend. A friend wrote these words to my husband after his father died. I found a kind of peace from these words. "Her work on earth was done and now she is in a better place." Cherish the happy memories in your heart that you had with your friend. Take Care. Wendy

Fiddle-Faddle Community Regular
Fiddle-Faddle
Posted

{{{{HUGS}}}} She does live on, in a sense, in the wonderful memories you carry in your heart. Not the same, I know, and not much comfort right now. You might try writing down a lot of your memories of her right now; memories sometimes fade with time. Also, her family might be comforted by your memories.

luvs2eat Collaborator
luvs2eat
Posted

My heartfelt sympathies go out to you.

UR Groovy Explorer
UR Groovy
Posted

I'm sorry for your loss. It's very difficult - losing a good friend. My Sympathies.

Take Care

confused Community Regular
confused
Posted

i am so sorry for your loss

paula

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Dessa- ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))). I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose a good friend.

Being angry is not irrational. Especially at a disease. I think you'll find a lot of us HATE cancer. You may even find yourself angry at your friend, and that's normal too. Let yourself feel what you're feeling. Hugs, B

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2kids4me Contributor
2kids4me
Posted

Dessa,

That is devastating, I am so sorry for your loss.

No it is not irrational to be mad at the disease - in fact it makes complete sense to me!

Nothing much ever makes sense at times like this.

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

sandy

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

Dessa,

I'm so very sorry. A warm hug to you.

I think it's quite natural for you to hate her disease--it took your friend from you. Please take care.

darlindeb25 Collaborator
darlindeb25
Posted

I believe when we die, we go to a much better place and everyone is 26 and painless. Angels are with her and she will always be with you.

Deb

dlp252 Apprentice
dlp252
Posted

I'm so very sorry! Anger is a natural stage of mourning and healing!

Nantzie Collaborator
Nantzie
Posted

I'm so sorry for your loss. Being angry is totally normal and completely rational.

I'm praying for you and all of her family and friends as you go through this time. I wish I could say something to help make it better.

:(

Nancy

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I'm sorry you lost your friend. Being angry at a disease is fine, there's not a thing wrong with it. If you were mad at your friend or a "living being" over it, that would be irrational. It's perfectly normal to hate cancer, we all do.

Creative-Soul Newbie
Creative-Soul
Posted

I am so sorry for your loss; my deepest sympathies to you...

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I know it hurt but think of the good times. One of the things that helps me when loved ones/friend pass is if they were fighting a disease that they no longer are suffering. There is no more pain. It helps me come to terms a little easier.

***HUGS****

elisabet Contributor
elisabet
Posted

I'm so sorry for your loss.A warm hug to you.

elisabet

TinkerbellSwt Collaborator
TinkerbellSwt
Posted

So sorry to hear of your loss. Sometimes I think life is just unfair.. I know that sounds selfish too, but it hurts so much. I know your friend is in a better place now, no more disease. I hope you find comfort soon

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

I know only too well what you are going through. (((((((Hugs)))))))

Ursa Major Collaborator
Ursa Major
Posted

Dessa, I am very sorry you lost your friend. I will pray for you.

Viola 1 Rookie
Viola 1
Posted

Dessa, I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Anger is a very normal reaction and part of the grieving process.

When I've lost someone I love, I try and think of this little verse I found somewhere.

On the heavens in Shining stars

On the earth in Tender Flowers

The ones you love will live on forever.

Hang in there, we are all thinking of you.

Rachel--24 Collaborator
Rachel--24
Posted

Dessa,

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

I would be very angry at any disease which took a loved one from me....its perfectly normal to feel this way. You're friend is in a better place and she'll always be in your heart.

AndreaB Contributor
AndreaB
Posted
One of the things that helps me when loved ones/friend pass is if they were fighting a disease that they no longer are suffering. There is no more pain.

I totally agree with this. I lost my dad to cancer 3 weeks ago and although he was 78 and not as young as your friend, it helped to think about the pain he was in that he wasn't anymore. It's always harder for those of us who are left.

Cherish the memories and give yourself time to grieve. It is normal to be angry. I was too. My father was the first person with cancer I've ever dealt with. It seems that cancer is all around now but I realize it has been for a long time, it's just my awareness of it has expanded.

HUGS.

Michi8 Contributor
Michi8
Posted

My condolences on the loss of your friend. :(

Michelle

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

Oh Dessa, may I offer my sympathy also on the death of you friend. :( Cancer has taken many in my family.....a wicked, evil disease.

debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

Dessa

Truly sorry for your loss of your friend. It's hard not to be angry at life, God, the world, etc. when bad stuff happens. Sometimes the anger overshadows the sorrow and perhaps that's a coping mechanism. I hope your anger fades quickly and your good memories overshadow your grief.

Debbe

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