Afraid To Say It Out Loud

[bartfull]

I've been gluten-free for a year now. Developed intolerances to other things (corn, soy, nightshades, and a few other things I have no idea about why). I was under a lot of stress for the six months between November and the end of April, trying to take care of my friend who had terminal cancer.

I have had unexplained jaw pain that would come on and last for weeks at a time. Anything from a dull constant ache to sharp and intense shooting pains. Psoriasis flares, brain fog, and exhaustion that would come and go. It seemed that every time I would try to add a food I would have a bad reaction and set my healing back.

I went through a crisis with vitamin deficiencies that I thought was going to kill me until I finally found a good multi-vitamin without any of my "poisons" in them.

Well, now, for the past couple of weeks it seems that I have broken through the other side. My jaw is quiet and painless. My psoriasis is healed. My friend mercifully left this world and all the pain behind. I have added a few really healthy foods to my diet without any problems.

And I feel GOOD!!!! Not only am I pain free, rash free and thinking clearly again, but just in the past couple of weeks my energy level has increased so much! When I walk from room to room I walk fast, as if I am on a mission. My housework is finally getting caught up.

And I am HAPPY. I don't mean the kind of happy you feel when something good happens. I mean the kind of happy that has me waking up in the morning looking forward to the day, knowing it's going to be a good day no matter what happens.

I think I am done trying to add foods for a while. Right now I have a dozen foods I know I can eat - meat, white rice, yams, broccoli, cauliflower, butter, avocados, banannas, cheese, eggs, pistachios, and Hagen Daz vanilla ice cream. That's a pretty healthy diet, don't you think? And I have a salty crunchy snack, and a sweet snack to keep me on the straight and narrow.

I think I am FINALLY really healing and I don't want to rock the boat. I plan on going through the summer eating only these foods, then in the fall I'll be healed enough that maybe I will be able to tolerate more.

I just wanted to thank everyone here who has helped me to figure things out, given me hugs and encouragement when I needed to whine, and ALSO to let those who are not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel to realize that it WILL get better. It blows my mind to feel better than I have in decades, to feel young again!

So if you're feeling hopeless (as I was just a couple of months ago), stick with it! My wish for all of you is that you will soon feel as good as I do now.

And once again, THANK YOU for all the help!!!!!

Now, I think I'll go run a marathon or something. Maybe build a bridge, fight a forest fire, or invent something that will insure world peace. I've got to do SOMETHING with all this energy!

I love you all!!!

[rosetapper23]

I love reading stories like yours! And I'm so glad that you've found the "key" to good health and happiness after such a stressful year.

Yay for you! And thanks for sharing your update--always great to read a success story!

[dani nero]

Aww! What a great and bright post. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, and congratulations + well done for reaching your balanced and healthy lifestyle. Hope it continues for you :-)

[Ninja]

I'm so happy to hear that you are doing better! I know it's tough to get through the rough spots, which seem like more than "spots" sometimes (or most times), but it's great when all of your hard work begins to pay off. Kudos to you for finding out what works for you

[alex11602]

This is wonderful to read! I am so happy for you.

[1974girl]

(and just in case your jaw pain comes back...it might be TMJ) My husband and my MIL have it. They sell this mouthguard at Walgreens that keep you from clinching your teeth at night. You may not know you are doing it but when you are stressed it gets worse! Anyway, it has helped him. My MIL had $10K worth of work to fix hers.

Glad you are doing better!

[Bubba's Mom]

You really went through a rough time for quite a while. I'm so glad to see it seems like you've turned the corner and feeling better. It's so miserable to get so sick that it feels like you're circling the drain. Very hard to describe, but so wonderful when it lifts. Well done..carry on!

[IrishHeart]

Honey, I know your road was rocky and I think having extra stressors made things more difficult than it had to be, but you DID it.... and I am standing up and wildly applauding you !!!!yaaay!!!

I know what you mean about wondering if anything is ever going to get better and then, one day, you realize, holy crappers! I AM better !! and I have jumped a hurdle and even if I am not 100%, I am not in hell anymore.

That TMJ dysfunction is one I share with you. I even wrote an informative paper about it for my dentist who deals with this issue. It's stress, inflammation from gluten and holding yourself in a pattern with your shoulders up around your ears that makes it happen.

You can move forward now, knowing you have turned the corner all newly DXed celiacs hope for.

In time, you will be able to add more foods in. I had a very short list myself and now, I enjoy a wide range of nutritious foods.

I am so HAPPY for you-- and thank you for posting this for others to see and feel encouraged. You are paying it forward.

My sincere sympathies on the loss of your friend. You were an angel to be so loving and caring.

Good for you, girl! Rock on!

Hugs and a big smoochie,

IH

[bartfull]

Thanks my friends. Even though TMJ was one of the first things they ruled out, I know stress does make the jaw worse. Personally I think (even though the dentists have said it's not possible) that it is a wisdom tooth that never came in. It is hooked under the jawbone and I think it is moving around in there. The pain centers around the exact spot where the tooth is. They have ruled out everything else except cancer - it's not TMJ, it's not a blocked saliva duct, and I think if it WERE cancer I'd be dead by now. I've had it for about six years now off and on.

But whatever it is, it is quiet now.

And you know, I have found that whenever I am in trouble, that's when I find out how many friends I have. They always surround me with love and support. In the case of my Celiac disease, YOU folks have been the very best friends a girl could ever ask for. You have helped me more than any doctor, and you have supported me like my "in real life" friends. I am overflowing with love and gratitude to all of you right now.

PLEASE, if any of you ever decide to vacation in the most beautiful place on the planet - the Black Hills of South Dakota, PM me and I'll give you directions to my shop and my home so you can come see me and let me give you the hugs I can only type here. I'll even cook for you! (Well, then again, I DO love you all so why in the world would I want to inflict MY cooking on you? )

[kareng]

Thanks my friends. Even though TMJ was one of the first things they ruled out, I know stress does make the jaw worse. Personally I think (even though the dentists have said it's not possible) that it is a wisdom tooth that never came in. It is hooked under the jawbone and I think it is moving around in there. The pain centers around the exact spot where the tooth is. They have ruled out everything else except cancer - it's not TMJ, it's not a blocked saliva duct, and I think if it WERE cancer I'd be dead by now. I've had it for about six years now off and on.

But whatever it is, it is quiet now.

And you know, I have found that whenever I am in trouble, that's when I find out how many friends I have. They always surround me with love and support. In the case of my Celiac disease, YOU folks have been the very best friends a girl could ever ask for. You have helped me more than any doctor, and you have supported me like my "in real life" friends. I am overflowing with love and gratitude to all of you right now.

PLEASE, if any of you ever decide to vacation in the most beautiful place on the planet - the Black Hills of South Dakota, PM me and I'll give you directions to my shop and my home so you can come see me and let me give you the hugs I can only type here. I'll even cook for you! (Well, then again, I DO love you all so why in the world would I want to inflict MY cooking on you? )

I was wondering about your MRI and your "cancer". You were under a lot of stress taking care of your friend glad you are feeling better.

Maybe we could grill? Hard to mess that up.

[IrishHeart]

When I make my tour of the country and meet the people I have met on c.com, I will keep you in mind. I mean it!! No worries, I'll help you cook--if you do not mind some assistance!

I meant to add, mine was not TMJD either! It was just stress- induced tight muscles. I believe you when you say it is better because you are not stressing so much and you are not sick 24/7.

Me too! But for 3 years, I could not even lay my cheek on a pillow without agony.

You are not sick, worried and holding your jaw clenched anymore and hopefully the pain will subside even more.

You are healing!

Stay well.

[bartfull]

I still never got the MRI. Some friends were talking about a benefit party for me but when our local no-kill animal shelter burned to the ground (they lost 11 dogs and one cat), I put on a benefit party for them instead. Then smene else did too. And after that there was ANOTHER benefit party for them (Can you tell we lve animals here?) People are benefitted out, at least for a while.

But the way I'm feeling right now, I really think that whatever it is, it's going to go away and never come back.

[IrishHeart]

But the way I'm feeling right now, I really think that whatever it is, it's going to go away and never come back.

My doc says all celiac-related inflammation that produces pain can go away as long as there is no other pathology involved.

It is what I hang my hopes on.

For all you have done to help others in need, you are truly generous in spirit and perhaps now your body is relaxed and you will continue to get better and better and that pain will resolve entirely.

[sa1937]

Bartfull,, your story is an inspiration to all of us! I wish you continued good health...you've come a long way in the past year and hopefully will continue on that path!

[squirmingitch]

Bartful,

I feel like dancin', dancin', dance the night away! I'm doing a happy jig over your news! LOVE the inspirational success stories. I can't wait for the day I can tell one. But I know the day will come; because of people like you who post their wonderful news.

[ravenwoodglass]

What wonderful news. Things have been so hard for you it is great to hear that you can open your eyes to the morning sun and smile. Thanks so much for the update as post like yours give the newbies hope.

[beachbirdie]

I've been gluten-free for a year now. ...

...So if you're feeling hopeless (as I was just a couple of months ago), stick with it! My wish for all of you is that you will soon feel as good as I do now.

And once again, THANK YOU for all the help!!!!!

Now, I think I'll go run a marathon or something. Maybe build a bridge, fight a forest fire, or invent something that will insure world peace. I've got to do SOMETHING with all this energy!

I love you all!!!

So wonderful to hear your good news! Your story is inspiring, for sure, and it's so good to know how well you are doing after your struggles. I actually HAVE been feeling pretty hopeless the last couple of days and you brought a ray of sunshine into the gloom!

[dilettantesteph]

Congratulations! Isn't it amazing how good normal can feel?

[love2travel]

It has been interesting reading your posts. And you have such a great reason so celebrate you and celebrate life. I am happy because you are happy. It is contagious! So, keep doing what you are doing. In this world of ours it seems news is often bleak and disheartening but yours is encouraging and edifying. Thanks for posting!

[Tamar Ann]

Thanks my friends. Even though TMJ was one of the first things they ruled out, I know stress does make the jaw worse. Personally I think (even though the dentists have said it's not possible) that it is a wisdom tooth that never came in. It is hooked under the jawbone and I think it is moving around in there. The pain centers around the exact spot where the tooth is. They have ruled out everything else except cancer - it's not TMJ, it's not a blocked saliva duct, and I think if it WERE cancer I'd be dead by now. I've had it for about six years now off and on.

But whatever it is, it is quiet now.

Has Trigeminal Neuralgia been ruled out? In any case, it is so good that it is quiet now.

[amcam17]

ok so I have to ask what is that sweet and salty crunchy snack???

[bartfull]

"And I have a salty crunchy snack, and a sweet snack to keep me on the straight and narrow."

The salty crunchy snack is the pistachios, and the sweet snack is the ice cream.

[Gemini]

Thanks my friends. Even though TMJ was one of the first things they ruled out, I know stress does make the jaw worse. Personally I think (even though the dentists have said it's not possible) that it is a wisdom tooth that never came in. It is hooked under the jawbone and I think it is moving around in there. The pain centers around the exact spot where the tooth is. They have ruled out everything else except cancer - it's not TMJ, it's not a blocked saliva duct, and I think if it WERE cancer I'd be dead by now. I've had it for about six years now off and on.

But whatever it is, it is quiet now.

And you know, I have found that whenever I am in trouble, that's when I find out how many friends I have. They always surround me with love and support. In the case of my Celiac disease, YOU folks have been the very best friends a girl could ever ask for. You have helped me more than any doctor, and you have supported me like my "in real life" friends. I am overflowing with love and gratitude to all of you right now.

PLEASE, if any of you ever decide to vacation in the most beautiful place on the planet - the Black Hills of South Dakota, PM me and I'll give you directions to my shop and my home so you can come see me and let me give you the hugs I can only type here. I'll even cook for you! (Well, then again, I DO love you all so why in the world would I want to inflict MY cooking on you? )

Bartfull.....isn't it an amazing and life changing moment when healing finally happens and pain is going away? I am so happy for you and know exactly how you feel! I will keep you in mind as I have wanted to see Mount Rushmore ever since seeing one of my all time favorite movies, North by Northwest. Really....you may hear from me in the future and we'll have a party!

I also send my deepest condolences regarding your friend who passed away. This is why all Celiac's should remember there are far worse diseases to have you have little control over. May your friend rest in everlasting peace.

I have to make a comment on the TMJ thing and it may not be popular. I am not a believer that it is a real condition, rather one that is a sign of an underlying condition or emotional baggage that needs to go. I am going out on a limb here telling what happened to me and I hope no one will think I have crossed the line into Fruit Loop-dom.

I had what I thought was TMJ in my 20's and it was bad. I could not eat crunchy foods or chew gum or eat many things as it caused so much pain in my jaw. Yes, I was an undiagnosed Celiac by then but that wasn't the whole problem with my jaw. I came from an alcoholic household and I had baggage then. Lots of anger at people who made life miserable for a long time. Lots of anger=lots of stress.

I refused advice from the dentist to have a mouth guard made. Wanted nothing to do with one. I had a friend who was friendly with a woman who was a renowned healer in my area. A faith healer of sorts and I was a skeptic. She had documented cases of amazing healing from her past. I still was skeptical. However, the pain was excruciating and I thought I would open my mind and give her a whirl. It couldn't hurt!

This woman was in her 80's then and when I got to her home, she had me sit in a chair and she did the laying of hands on me. I felt kind of foolish but she was such a lovely woman, I did as she asked and did not want to insult her in any way. For 5-10 minutes she meditated and did the laying of the hands as I sat there trying to clear my mind and not do anything stupid. She then said I had a lot of baggage I needed to let go of and that was causing all my jaw pain. Okey Dokey. She also commented that my will was incredibly strong and not to fight her attempts to heal me. Ok...she's on to me as I was a skeptic. I mean, we've all seen the bad faith healers and charlatans, haven't we?

The session ended after she told me she had been successful in removing bad energy and I was to just let things go mentally.

Say bye-bye to the bad in my life. I thanked her and left, not sure what had just happened.

The next day I woke up and felt pretty good. I went to work and ate my lunch and then it hit me....no more jaw pain. I am not kidding...completely and utterly gone! I tested it out and ate foods I had not been able to eat for a long time...no pain. Nothing! Now I am completely freaked out and realized I had met a miracle worker. To this day, and it's almost 30 years later, I have never had a return of the pain that was so very bad. I started to chew gum, eat hard candies and ate salad and steak with no problem. The dentist kept asking me how my jaw was and I told him the pain was completely gone. He looked at me like I was crazy and I just told them that I had done something I was not going to talk about because they would have me committed. It drove him crazy because I would not tell him I went to a faith healer. Never went to one again as Charlotte passed away not too long after I went to her as she was in her late 80's by then. It made me a believer in many things I didn't give much credit to before. She told me that all that anger and stress was the root cause and she removed it.....no more pain.

So, if people think I am crazy, so be it. I am painless crazy, thank you. You have had a very stressful time in many aspects and that was probably causing your pain, along with the food issues. People clench their jaws and grind their teeth at night because their subconscious is speaking to them and they aren't tuned in. They may have problems on many levels they may not even be aware of. Oh yeah...and I stopped grinding my teeth at night after that, so the hubby says. Have not done that again...ever. I used to wake him up at night with my grinding too. I just can't help thinking of all this whenever I hear people say they have TMJ. It's like saying you have Fibromyalgia or IBS. Cover diseases and conditions that mask the real problem.

Oh well...stay happy and healthy and maybe we can all get a thing going and meet up at Rushmore. We could start a group get together and meet people we talk to everyday. I am willing to go!

[bartfull]

Gemini, I would LOVE to have a get-together here! And as cool as Mount Rushmore is, it is probably the LEAST ompressive thing in the Hills. That's saying a lot because Rushmore is pretty spectacular. Here is a video one of my customers made last year. It will show you a little bit of my beautiful town:

[Gemini]

Gemini, I would LOVE to have a get-together here! And as cool as Mount Rushmore is, it is probably the LEAST ompressive thing in the Hills. That's saying a lot because Rushmore is pretty spectacular. Here is a video one of my customers made last year.

Bartfull.....your town looks like a really nice place to live, although I am always blown away at the vastness of the countryside and roads! I live in little New England, outside of Boston and they pretty much just paved the cow paths used many years ago so I am used to small and compact. I was in Colorado a while ago and it was the first time I had seen such big sky and country. Loved the place but the vastness and the solitude was a bit scary. I am a city girl BUT I also love the country for hiking and sightseeing.

I promise that when I come to Mt. Rushmore, you'll be the first to know. I would love to meet up with you. It's always nice to have a local make suggestions on what to see and where to go. How high or low is the awareness of Celiac at restaurants there?

Either that, or we'll have to do gluten-free barbecue when we come! And if you ever want to come to Boston, I am good at being a guide for the food challenged!

It was fun to hear the narration on the video....it's nice to hear a French accent complimenting the US. And he was correct, it's a lot cheaper to travel within the States than in many other places.

What airport do you fly into to get to Rushmore and the area you live in?