Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

My Father Died Today

Guest WashingtonLady

By Guest WashingtonLady
in Introduce Yourself / Share Stuff

Recommended Posts

Guest WashingtonLady
Guest WashingtonLady
Posted

:(

I'm trying to deal with the reality of my dad being gone. I found his body. He'd had a massive heart attack. I got there only knowing he wasn't answering the phone and, according to a friend, "had been in pain earlier."

I keep thinking this isn't really real. I mean, I KNOW it's real. I've got these hideous pics in my brain now and they'll never leave. I'm the one who tried to wake him up. I'm the one who called 911.

There is no way this can be real.

Does anyone know how long this will take....does anyone ever recover from this? This feels like too much. Four sisters. Nine grandchildren. We're devastated.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


debmidge Rising Star
debmidge
Posted

Condolences on the loss of your Dad.

take a deep breath and recall his life in good memories. the sadness may lift after a while but he'll be in your heart forever. it took me about a year to stop bursting out in tears in public.

darlindeb25 Collaborator
darlindeb25
Posted

I'm sorry for your loss. Only time heals and there is not any time frame. We all heal in our own ways and in our own time. He's with the angels now and will always watch over you.

wowzer Community Regular
wowzer
Posted

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your father. Remember the happy and special times. He will always be in your heart. Give yourself time to heal. Hugs, Wendy

jkmunchkin Rising Star
jkmunchkin
Posted

I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. Take comfort in your sisters and the grandchildren. We are all here for you.

HUGS.

dlp252 Apprentice
dlp252
Posted
:(

I'm trying to deal with the reality of my dad being gone. I found his body. He'd had a massive heart attack. I got there only knowing he wasn't answering the phone and, according to a friend, "had been in pain earlier."

I keep thinking this isn't really real. I mean, I KNOW it's real. I've got these hideous pics in my brain now and they'll never leave. I'm the one who tried to wake him up. I'm the one who called 911.

There is no way this can be real.

Does anyone know how long this will take....does anyone ever recover from this? This feels like too much. Four sisters. Nine grandchildren. We're devastated.

I'm so very sorry!!! My father was killed in a car crash in 1996, it was sudden and unexpected...I have to say that time will heal. There is no time schedule for mourning or healing, but you will in your own time, everyone is different. Some can just pick up and get involved with other things to take their mind off, I just couldn't seem to do that. Eventually I started volunteering at my church--helping people--that seemed to help a little, and eventually time made the wound tolerable.

spunky Contributor
spunky
Posted

It might take some time. You might want to seek out grief support groups either in your area or online somewhere.

Try to remember the good times and help other family members, but also, what you have been through and are going through isn't easy and obviously can't go away very quickly. Find yourself some support or just someplace where people will let you express your pain and understand.

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Ursa Major Collaborator
Ursa Major
Posted

I am very sorry you lost your dad, and that you had to be the one who found him. I understand about the unreal feeling. It will take a while to truly register that your dad is gone. My dad died of liver cancer in 1997, and for years I would actually walk over to the phone on his birthday, thinking, "I need to call Papa, it's his birthday", only to realize that I couldn't phone him, because he was gone.

God had a plan when he let you be the one who found him. Imagine one of your children being the one who found their grandfather, and think that thankfully it was you instead, it might help.

When you lose somebody you love you need to be allowed to grieve. There is no right or wrong way to grieve (or a specific time frame), so don't let anybody tell you that your way of mourning isn't appropriate, because it is for you.

I hope you'll be okay, and will be able to cope in the days to come. I will pray for you and your family.

jesscarmel Enthusiast
jesscarmel
Posted

I am so sorry for your horrible loss. i can only imagine how traumatized you must feel given the situatioon. take time to care for yourself!

Jess

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Take a few moments to remember some of your fondest memories of him. It will help you feel a little better. Don't hesitate to talk to anyone, talking about what you are feeling is the advice I was given when my best friend was killed. It did help.

My prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult time.

wethree Newbie
wethree
Posted

So very sorry for you devastating loss...............I don't think we ever really get over the loss of a parent if we are close to them. I lost my dad 35 years ago and there are still times that I miss him, it just gets better gradually as the years go by. My dad was a great dad and grandfather and went too soon.......as yours may have. The former comments have been good ones, take heed in them. You now have to be strong for your children and your mom and you WILL find a way to do that, it seems to come from somewhere when we need it. PRAY. It is very interesting that you came to your friends on this message board, which is the very best one around. We will stick with you. Many hugs.........

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I am so sorry. Sending you many hugs and support through cyberspace.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I'm so sorry about your dad. Please take care. :)

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I'm sorry about your dad.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Oh, I am so sorry. For me, one of the toughest things about living through this level of grief was to try very hard not to feel smothering guilt when, after a year or two had passed, I found I was able to go a few hours without thinking of him. This will be later for you, but maybe it's a good thing to mention now...

[[[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Nancym Enthusiast
Nancym
Posted

I'm so sorry. *hugs* I was with my Dad when he died, I'm glad I was although the images of his last day or two and his death are very, very difficult memories. I was in tears everyday for what seemed like a couple of months. It was when I wasn't busy and was driving alone in my car and those moments would replay in my mind. It has been almost 2 years now and I can think of him at other times, other than just his death. Lately I've been missing the way his big soft hand felt when he squeezed my hand.

Right after my Dad died, that very same day, my sister-in-law and I immersed ourselves in making a lovely garden for our Mom. That activity healed us and we really bonded over that.

Now my Mom is in a nursing home in declining health and I've promised myself I'll do the same for her, at my house, when she dies.

Rusla Enthusiast
Rusla
Posted

I am so sorry for your loss.

It takes different people different amounst of time to heal from their loss. Remember how he was not how you found him. Celebrate his life and remember he will not be in pain anymore. Remember the good things and rejoice in the memory of his love and it will be much easier for you.

Dandelion Contributor
Dandelion
Posted

I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know exactly what you are going through. My dad passed away on Feb. 13 at the age of 68 from a massive heart attack. He just never came home from work. My older brother was the one to find him. I am still in complete and utter shock. I heard that for a sudden death it can take up to 4 years to recover. God, I hope that's not true. I urge you to read "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" by Brooke Noel and Pamela Blair. It's one of the few books out their that deals with untimely deaths and it has helped me immensely.

My heart goes out to you. I know you must be completely overwhelmed and feel like you are walking in a fog. Please know that I am here for you if you ever want to talk. My email is bethc@optonline.net.

Beth

kbtoyssni Contributor
kbtoyssni
Posted

I'm so sorry. You will be in my thoughts.

ravenwoodglass Mentor
ravenwoodglass
Posted

I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't think there is any fully getting over something like this. Eventually though the pain does become less severe. It is never easy to lose someone but you are lucky to have a large family for mutual support. You are in many thoughts and prayers.

Guest lorlyn
Guest lorlyn
Posted

Sorry to hear about your dad. My father passed away from a massive heart attack at the age of 55. I was 22. It will take time to get the images out of your head, I had the same problem. Take care of your self and your family and may Peace be with you

Kyalesyin Apprentice
Kyalesyin
Posted

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how badly a sudden death can hit you. My grandmother moved on a few years back, and none of us were prepared- we hadn't seen it coming at all. Just take it one day at a time.

I've lit a candle for your father.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,548
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Lunaluv
    Newest Member
    Lunaluv
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Taken Seriously

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Your post demonstrates the profound frustration and isolation that so many in the Celiac community feel, and I want to thank you for channeling that experience into advocacy. The medical gaslighting you endured for decades is an unacceptable and, sadly, a common story, and the fact that you now have to "school" your own GI specialist speaks volumes about the critical lack of consistent and updated education. Your idea to make Celiac Disease a reportable condition to public health authorities is a compelling and strategic one. This single action would force the system to formally acknowledge the prevalence and seriousness of the disease, creating a concrete dataset that could drive better research funding, shape medical school curricula, and validate the patient experience in a way that individual stories alone often cannot. It is an uphill battle, but contacting representatives, as you have done with Adam Gray, is exactly how change begins. By framing it as a public health necessity—a matter of patient safety and protection from misdiagnosis and neglect—you are building a powerful case. Your voice and your perseverance, forged through thirty years of struggle, are exactly what this community needs to ensure that no one else has to fight so hard just to be believed and properly cared for.
    • Scott Adams
      Looking for a gluten-free roomie in Denver CO

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      I had no idea there is a "Louisville" in Colorado!😉 I thought it was a typo because I always think of the Kentucky city--but good luck!
    • Scott Adams
      Allergy medication: cetirizine by the HealthA2Z is it gluten free?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      Navigating medication safety with Celiac disease can be incredibly stressful, especially when dealing with asthma and severe allergies on top of it. While I don't have personal experience with the HealthA2Z brand of cetirizine, your caution is absolutely warranted. The inactive ingredients in pills, known as excipients, are often where gluten can be hidden, and since the FDA does not require gluten-free labeling for prescription or over-the-counter drugs, the manufacturer's word is essential. The fact that you cannot get a clear answer from Allegiant Health is a significant red flag; a company that is confident its product is gluten-free will typically have a customer service protocol to answer that exact question. In situations like this, the safest course of action is to consider this product "guilty until proven innocent" and avoid it. A better alternative would be to ask your pharmacist or doctor to help you identify a major national brand of cetirizine (like Zyrtec) whose manufacturer has a verified, publicly stated gluten-free policy for that specific medication. It's not worth the risk to your health when reliable, verifiable options are almost certainly available to you. You can search this site for USA prescriptions medications, but will need to know the manufacturer/maker if there is more than one, especially if you use a generic version of the medication: To see the ingredients you will need to click on the correct version of the medication and maker in the results, then scroll down to "Ingredients and Appearance" and click it, and then look at "Inactive Ingredients," as any gluten ingredients would likely appear there, rather than in the Active Ingredients area. https://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/   
    • Scott Adams
      Protein or fat?

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      What you're describing is indeed familiar to many in the Celiac community, especially in the early stages of healing. When the intestinal villi are damaged from Celiac disease, they struggle to properly digest and absorb fats, a condition known as bile acid malabsorption. This can cause exactly the kind of cramping and spasms you're seeing, as undigested fats can irritate the sensitive gut lining. It is highly plausible that her reactions to dairy and eggs are linked to their higher fat content rather than the proteins, especially since she tolerates lean chicken breast. The great news is that for many, this does improve with time. As her gut continues to heal on a strict gluten-free diet, her ability to produce the necessary enzymes and bile to break down fats should gradually return, allowing her to slowly tolerate a wider variety of foods. It's a slow process of healing, but your careful approach of focusing on low-fat, nutrient-dense foods like seeds and avocado is providing her system the best possible environment to recover. Many people with celiac disease, especially those who are in the 0-2 year range of their recovery, have additional food intolerance issues which could be temporary. To figure this out you may need to keep a food diary and do an elimination diet over a few months. Some common food intolerance issues are dairy/casein, eggs, corn, oats, and soy. The good news is that after your gut heals (for most people who are 100% gluten-free this will take several months to two years) you may be able to slowly add some these items back into your diet after the damaged villi heal. This article may be helpful: Thank you for sharing your story—it's a valuable insight for other parents navigating similar challenges.
    • Beverage
      Diagnosed celiac for 1-2 months ago and everything makes me bloated.

      By Beverage · Posted

      I had a very rough month after diagnosis. No exaggeration, lost so much inflammatory weight, I looked like a bag of bones, underneath i had been literally starving to death. I did start feeling noticeably better after a month of very strict control of my kitchen and home. What are you eating for breakfast and lunch? I ignored my doc and ate oats, yes they were gluten free, but some brands are at the higher end of gluten free. Lots of celics can eat Bob's Red Mill gluten-free oats, but not me. I can now eat them, but they have to be grown and processed according to the "purity protocol" methods. I mail order them, Montana Gluten-Free brand. A food and symptoms and activities log can be helpful in tracking down issues. You might be totally aware, but I have to mention about the risk of airborne gluten. As the doc that diagnosed me warned . . Remember eyes, ears, nose, and mouth all lead to your stomach and intestines.  Are you getting any cross contamination? Airborne gluten? Any pets eating gluten (they eat it, lick themselves, you pet them...)? Any house remodeling? We live in an older home, always fixing something. I've gotten glutened from the dust from cutting into plaster walls, possibly also plywood (glues). The suggestions by many here on vitamin supplements also really helped me. I had some lingering allergies and asthma, which are now 99% gone. I was taking Albuterol inhaler every hour just to breathe, but thiamine in form of benfotiamine kicked that down to 1-2 times a day within a few days of starting it. Also, since cutting out inflammatory seed oils (canola, sunflower, grapeseed, etc) and cooking with real olive oil, avocado oil, ghee, and coconut oil, I have noticed even greater improvement overall and haven't used the inhaler in months! It takes time to weed out everything in your life that contains gluten, and it takes awhile to heal and rebuild your health. At first it's mentally exhausting, overwhelming, even obsessive, but it gets better and second nature.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.