Celiac Cost Me Everything

[ravenwoodglass]

The long years I spent undiagnosed cost me dearly. I lost all my freinds and family has pretty much turned their back on me. Now I have no one. I lost my only freind yesterday. My little dog was the only one I had. He was the only one I could talk to. The only one who would go for walks at the lake or keep me company in the yard. The only one who was always there for me. I tried to call my kids but they didn't return my call. One ring, go to voice mail. Which I know means they saw who was calling and chose not to answer. Don't know if I will get a call back or not. One of them has even told me they forgive me for being so sick for so long. They 'forgive me' like I did something wrong or chose to be ill for most of their lives. I did the best I could but it was never good enough.

Pooh was all I had. Sometimes I wish I was never diagnosed as the pain would be over by now. I get so jealous of folks who are diagnosed after only been ill for a few months. They still have a life ahead of them. Sometimes I feel like I am just living waiting to die. I have nothing and no one. It hurts so much.

Sorry for the depressing post I just needed to get it out.

[alex11602]

((((hugs)))) I am so sorry that you are going through this. There isn't really anything that I could say to make it easier, but I just wanted to say that I think you are hear to be an inspiration. Reading your posts on this forum has given me a sense of hope about getting well when it seems bleak so thank you. And again I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

[Roda]

I'm sorry raven, I know loosing a beloved pet is a hard thing to go through. I also lost a dog several years back. I had to have him put to sleep. I cried so much. I just wanted you to know that you have our support in this difficult time. Alex11620 is right you are an inspiration to so many people on this forum, especially the newly diagnosed. Your kind words and wealth of experience and information help so many. I know they did when I fist came on here almost 3 years ago. I will be thinking of you.

[beebs]

((((hugs)))) I am so sorry that you are going through this. There isn't really anything that I could say to make it easier, but I just wanted to say that I think you are hear to be an inspiration. Reading your posts on this forum has given me a sense of hope about getting well when it seems bleak so thank you. And again I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

I agree.

Ravenwood - you are always the first to help the newbies try and figure things out. I am grateful to you for all your advice on here. I am really sorry your dog passed away. And I am sorry you are feeling so sad.

[kareng]

Oh Raven! I'm so sorry about your dog! We can't walk with you but we are still here for you.

[oceangirl]

Ravenwood,

I am so sorry for all your sorrow. You have helped me so much over the years and I want you to know I see how much you help others on this board. Kids are selfish sometimes; maybe they will come around and realize most parents do the best they can. I come from the philosophy (Read Dr. Ross Greene/website:Livesinthebalance.org)) that people do well when they can and do not when they have unsolved problems (or a missing or lagging skill).

There is nothing I could say to ease your pain but, without really knowing you, (as no one really "knows" one and other on the computer, eh?), you seem such a caring person, deserving of love and happiness.

As for losing a "pet", especially having to be involved in their passing, I have an enormous pet family and always have; consequently, I've also buried far too many. This year we had to put down my absolute favorite coon cat of all time, Sam, more like a spirit guide than cat, really, and I don't know if I'll ever get over it.

Love to you and healing energy and hope for peace,

lisa

[Bubba's Mom]

Raven..I've onl;y been here for a short time, but want you to know I'm so thankful you're here. You're always so compasionate and helpful to others.

I lost a dear basset hound 2 months ago. I know what it's like to have that unconditional love and what it's like to lose it. My family is very much like yours. Very wrapped up in their own life and too busy to answer calls. It's hurtful, but that's a flaw in them, not you!

I know it's not the same, but wa're here for you.

(((hugs)))

[lynnelise]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog! It's so hard to lose a close companion and my heart breaks for you!

I am also sorry to hear your relationship with your children was strained due to illness. Sadly it seems a lot of young people seem to blame their parents for every little thing these days. I'm 33 and it seems like my friends are just now at the age where they are starting to realize their parents did their best! Some people never realize and will continue a cycle to blame everyone else for their problems. You couldn't help being sick and they should be able to realize that! Resenting you for something beyond your control isn't fair!

You have tons of people here who care for you and love to talk to you! You've helped me and everyone on this board too many times to count! Hang in there! We're all here if you need to talk!

[luvs2eat]

I am so sorry. Losing a pet is no less sad than losing a family member, imo. They ARE our family.

Count me too in the group who has appreciated your posts/advice/kind words.

[SarahJimMarcy]

I am so sorry for your loss. Such a blow. Don't feel alone. All of us in this forum send you our very best.

[mushroom]

We are your family too, and we are here for you, through thick and thin, through pain and loss, through feelings of abandonment and loneliness, we are here for you. While there is little we can do to console you in your loss, you can know that we are sending our love and healing thoughts and prayers, wrapping you in our cyber arms, hugging you, thanking you for being there and being you. Know that you are loved and cared for, admired and respected, and you can always turn to us, as you have done, for help and support. You will sorely miss your wee companion and I am so sorry for your loss, as these companions are so special in our lives and loves. Remember him with love and affection, for the difference he made in your life, and know that you have made a difference in the lives of so many others.

[Diane-in-FL]

I feel so bad for you....losing a pet is SO hard. And having family and friends who are not supportive must be awful. They "forgive" you for being sick??? That is beyond unfair.

((((HUGS!))))

[Reba32]

Raven, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. And I am sorry that your family is so unforgiving. {{{hugs}}}

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[ravenwoodglass]

Thank you everyone. He was so special, at least to me. My house seems very quiet now. I know I won't get over this quickly but I will get over it. There is no one to eat that last bite now or laying on the back of the couch waiting to do a happy dance when I come home. He got me through the last 4 years of undiagnosed physical hell and was just as happy to play catch on the bed as to play it outside. I have my kitties but somehow it just isn't the same.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. You all help me keep going on more days than you know.

[chasbari]

The long years I spent undiagnosed cost me dearly. I lost all my freinds and family has pretty much turned their back on me. Now I have no one. I lost my only freind yesterday. My little dog was the only one I had. He was the only one I could talk to. The only one who would go for walks at the lake or keep me company in the yard. The only one who was always there for me. I tried to call my kids but they didn't return my call. One ring, go to voice mail. Which I know means they saw who was calling and chose not to answer. Don't know if I will get a call back or not. One of them has even told me they forgive me for being so sick for so long. They 'forgive me' like I did something wrong or chose to be ill for most of their lives. I did the best I could but it was never good enough.

Pooh was all I had. Sometimes I wish I was never diagnosed as the pain would be over by now. I get so jealous of folks who are diagnosed after only been ill for a few months. They still have a life ahead of them. Sometimes I feel like I am just living waiting to die. I have nothing and no one. It hurts so much.

Sorry for the depressing post I just needed to get it out.

I can relate to so much of your pain and I cry for you a bit today. You have been one of the very important people in my life as I have struggled to recover from this. You are an angel here on earth and I only know you through this forum. Pets are family and I understand your loss. Prayers from here to there for you.

Chuck

[cahill]

Raven,

You were one of the first in these forums to reach out to me with your strong loving cyber arms and embrace me. For that I will forever be grateful. You have given me and many others in these forums so much love, support,incite and knowledge. For me personally you give me the greatest gift of all HOPE.With out that hope I would have never persevered to get my diagnoses .Most importantly you gave me hope that someday I could recover to the point of functioning (somewhat ) normally.

Those of us that waited ,and suffered for,many years before our diagnose understand the lost of family and friends. Know that we are here for you.

If you are ever in Northwestern Pa. I would love to take you for a very long walk in some of the most beautiful country side you will ever see

Our pets become family and we grieve their passing.Your beloved pet will always be in your heart

BIG ((((HUGS))) and much love

[Gemini]

I know this isn't going to a popular statement but when you lose a pet, especially a dog, that can be harder than losing anything else.

I have no children, possibly due to Celiac Disease as I was undiagnosed also for most of my life, but when I hear people tell me how their children

treat them later in life, after what you put into raising them, it makes me glad I never had any. I had a dog who died 3 years ago and she was my canine sole mate. She loved me unconditionally, which doesn't often happen with people, and I still miss her to this day. So I feel your pain in a big way.

It can be utterly heartbreaking. It does ease after awhile but I will miss my buddy for the rest of my life. I have yet to replace her as there will never be a total replacement for what she meant to me.

Raven, do you work? I know having a job and keeping my mind focused on that helped a lot and there are people you work with who become your family, of sorts. Yes, finding a job these days is difficult but it does help, even if it's a part time job.

Other than that little piece of advice, I am deeply sorry for your loss. God, I love dogs! They can be a lifesaver but it sure hurts like hell when you have to give them back.

[Fancy Nancy]

I feel your pain. My advice would be to replace your beloved pet with a new furry friend, and soon. I have two beagles and also do dogsitting. The dogs get me through each day as I am suffering with a horrible case of DH. Dogs give you the unconditional love and support like no other. I pray you gain strength from the words of support through this forum.

[Kansas]

Raven,

I have been learning/lurking for the past three years, and when I see your posts, I know I can rely on what you have written. You will probably never know just how many people you have helped! Please know that I care, I have an 18 year old mutt dog that saved my life when my son was killed. I do have a supporting family, but it was that little dog that really listened and was there for me, or maybe I allowed her to see how much I was hurting. She does understand. I am so sorry for your loss. You are family!

[bartfull]

Raven, I am so very sorry. I too, think that as soon as you have had a chance to grieve for awhile, you should get yourself another dog. I know no one can replace what you've lost, but a new dog won't be any better or worse, just different.

I had a cat once who was different than any other cat I had ever had. I loved that cat so much. But when some creep intentionally ran her over, it was less than a week before I got a new kitten. She's just a "regular" cat, but she's still my buddy, and I've had her for 12 years now.

Family always gives us a hard time. Kids even more than the rest of them. Eventually, they will probably begin to understand how cruel they have been to you - especially of one or more of them develop Celiac!

But in the meantime, cry when you have to, but try as hard as you can to fill up the hours with positive thoughts. You have friends here who will keep you in our thoughts and prayers, and if you need to vent some more, we will be here for you.

[BethJ]

Raven, my heart goes out to you. I can't say more than has already been said, but you've always been there for everybody in their time of need. I know it's not the same, but we're "family" . . . doing what families should do when one of their own is hurting.

Losing my cat was harder than losing my parents. I sobbed for days when my orange tabby left for Rainbow Bridge. Some animal companions are what I call soul mates. There's something special about them and I think each of us have at least one in our lifetime. Your baby was your soul mate and he left a big doggie shaped hole in your heart.

I have a dear husband and when he's gone, I'll only have my cat family. And yes, they ARE my family. I was never able to have children like so many here but I have two stepdaughters who wouldn't notice if I was dying in the middle of the road. My cats are always there for me.

And FWIW, kitties make wonderful little listeners. They will happily listen to you and comfort you as you grieve.

[love2travel]

Oh, Raven. I am SO sorry about your precious dog. We had to euthanize our beloved border collie a year ago and she was like the little girl we never had. Seriously. We loved her that much so I understand how devastating this must be. It must bo incredibly hard keeping on with less motivation and with an unsupportive family to boot.

I am one of those few lucky people who wasn't even sick when diagnosed. However, this chronic pain is a killer. It is unrelenting and so severe most days it hurts just to wear clothes. So I sort of can understand what you are going through on the health front. Pain/sickness/poor health so drastically changes our lives and affects all those around us.

You have been an inspiration to me, too. You are very wise and helpful. I need to make a point of telling people that more often. I appreciate you very much and wish I could be there to hug you and cry with you. Take as much time as you need to grieve. It is soooooo very cliche but really try to take one day at a time, or even an hour at a time. Please know I will be praying for you.

[Takala]

Oh, I am so sorry.

relatives - meh. need a pffffffffft icon.

I have outlived so many. Pets, I mean.

Let me give you the upside. If you subsequently adopt dogs from the pound, and they have a wheat allergy, (has happened to us 2x now) you will not only be the first one able to figure it out and get their hair to grown back in or their joints to stop overflexing, but you will know that it was "meant to be."

So far my "too old nobody wanted him bald dog" has alerted me to a shady character who was casing out our house, and decided to make up a story when greeted with me holding the collar of the biggest thing with teeth he'd probably ever seen, and incredibly, like something out of a stupid Lassie novel, went on a crazy barking spree this spring, until I looked out the window and saw the huge plume of smoke from a residence on fire down the road - drove down there and called in the fire department and gave them the correct address because they had gotten an earlier call with the wrong one. and got somebody to open the driveway gate and made sure they were out and accounted for. Fire department: how did you notice this, what time? me: dog going nuts and running up and down our backyard fence, staring in that direction, must have heard something. (perhaps he was anticipating the CDF planes/water bucket helicopters to show up, they like barking at that stuff too, who knows).

I got this wonderful dog from the city pound putting a plea on Craigs List pets for the "last chance time is up" type dogs, after having to take several months to mourn the loss of the sweetest puppy at about a year old, when he followed my rat hunting terrier where he shouldn't have, and we had to put him down because the injuries were so bad. I don't think you actually ever get over it, so much as stumble around for a while and then moving on. My newer dog obviously had had somebody a long time, because his manners were so good - he was found wandering around pretty starved and with his fur/skin in a really bad way, and the pound couldn't find the owners, but they did their best to bring him back up to adoptable- I wonder what happened to his original humans, (foreclosure? sudden job loss? moved away and gave him to somebody who couldn't cope?) and hope that they are okay.

We are all like this, if capable of feeling. Wouldn't want to be on the other, callous side. My relatives speak of me as some sort of exotic creature they just don't "get" - 'oh, she's an "animal" person.' They're more concerned with their white carpets and crabgrass annihilation.

[Fairy Dancer]

Many hugs

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety yet on a gluten free diet my symptoms are disappearing one by one. However, over the years, due to my not being well my family turned against me also and I too have no one.

I feel your pain.

I hope things improve for you x

[wheeleezdryver]

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Having been a spousal caregiver and thereby lost friends and contact with family, i understand at least a little bit.

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious and beautiful doggie. Pets often have such sweet, soothing spirits.

I to, have been touched, taught, and inspired by your story and the amount of knowledge and support you share here

Take care