Dumb People Suck

[vampella]

Those are the best words I could come up with today.

I had to pull Emmah out of pre pre school. she wont be 4 until feb so it's not even her preschool year but I thought she's like playing and getting used to a school setting.

She kept getting glutened. I knew it wasn't me so I took her out of school for 2 weeks. she was fine. I put her back in on this past wed. Thursday..she had the poops and her tummy hurt.

I went in and talked to the teacher on friday(christmas party day) & she says well I don't know we'ree doing the best we can & I'm thinking to myself don't smack her, we can all do better, no?

So we keep talking and I'm like well she's getting gluten from somewhere & the teacher say " I wipe the table with her towel before she eats and then I wash her hands and use that towel to dry them and then she eats. I WAS LIKE ...WHAT? How dumb can you be, wipe the gluten on her GLUTEN FREE TOWEL and then wipe her clean hands all over the GLUTEN. I was so mad I almost burst. I walked away before I got myself in trouble. I let her have her concert and told them she was NOT stay for the party. That was her last day.

I am very angry and hope next year that when she goes to real preschool the teachers there are much brighter and atleast care.

sorry for rambling, I feel abit better now.

[Ursa Major]

Good grief, that woman is definitely dumber than dumb. Good for you for being able to walk away without yelling at her. Too bad Emmah won't be able to keep going to school, but she'll be safer at home at this point.

[shayesmom]

Those are the best words I could come up with today.

I had to pull Emmah out of pre pre school. she wont be 4 until feb so it's not even her preschool year but I thought she's like playing and getting used to a school setting.

She kept getting glutened. I knew it wasn't me so I took her out of school for 2 weeks. she was fine. I put her back in on this past wed. Thursday..she had the poops and her tummy hurt.

I went in and talked to the teacher on friday(christmas party day) & she says well I don't know we'ree doing the best we can & I'm thinking to myself don't smack her, we can all do better, no?

So we keep talking and I'm like well she's getting gluten from somewhere & the teacher say " I wipe the table with her towel before she eats and then I wash her hands and use that towel to dry them and then she eats. I WAS LIKE ...WHAT? How dumb can you be, wipe the gluten on her GLUTEN FREE TOWEL and then wipe her clean hands all over the GLUTEN. I was so mad I almost burst. I walked away before I got myself in trouble. I let her have her concert and told them she was NOT stay for the party. That was her last day.

I am very angry and hope next year that when she goes to real preschool the teachers there are much brighter and atleast care.

sorry for rambling, I feel abit better now.

Yep. Dumb people do suck.

I am about to do the same thing with my dd as well since she also keeps getting exposed to allergens and gluten each and every time. My dd has a tendency to get really hyper and have trouble sleeping when exposed (the tummy aches are more of a rare occurence). She had been getting up at 6 AM every day since school began (she used to sleep til 7:30). With the holidays and no school, she is now sleeping until 8 AM and isn't hyper.

I had provided them with safe soap for Shaye to use as well as snacks and everything else. When I volunteered to help with their Christmas party, I discovered her soap dispenser completely coated in frosting and cookie crumbs (from the other children's cookies)! I was infuriated!

Uggh! I hear your anger on this and I completely agree. The sad part is that you just don't know if this is going to be the "normal" experience with school and each new teacher or if at some point someone will come along that will actually "get" it. I know that our teacher has been trying....but there comes a point where trying just doesn't cut it. It's a crying shame.

I hope that Emmah feels better soon and that this bad experience won't be repeated in the future.

[ACottrell]

DH and I were leaning toward home school for our kids and DS' recent diagnosis of celiac has only confirmed that decision. I don't envy those of you who will/do have to deal with people who are ignorant on the subject. Sorry to hear about your little one!

[VegasCeliacBuckeye]

Just playing Devil's advocate, but were the employees competently trained on Celiac awareness?

I encounter this type of ignorance all the time (my office, restaurants, etc). If they don't have the disease, they need to learn like the rest of us.

Most mothers do not start out as Celiac geniuses until after a few months or even a year. I can't imagine what its like with a room full of kids and taking care of all of their needs.

I guess what I am saying is the same thing I usually tell most people on this site: "When you encounter someone with an ignorance towards our affliction, you have three options: (1) educate them, (2) forget them, (3) hope they get it right the next time.

I used to opt for #2 all the time. Nowadays, when I encounter the problem, I try to do #1 and increase Celiac awareness. Yes, it is the harder choice, but it benefits everyone in the end.

BB

[plantime]

I have to agree with BroncoBux. Educate your teachers, otherwise you are the dumb one. As a former daycare provider, I can tell you that you need to give written, literal instructions about how to handle every little instance. Why didn't you give the preschool two towels, one for her table and one for her hands? Or a container of disposable disinfecting wipes just for her table? Why did you get angry at the teacher for not instantly knowing something that took you months of constant study to learn?

[shayesmom]

Just playing Devil's advocate, but were the employees competently trained on Celiac awareness?

I encounter this type of ignorance all the time (my office, restaurants, etc). If they don't have the disease, they need to learn like the rest of us.

Most mothers do not start out as Celiac geniuses until after a few months or even a year. I can't imagine what its like with a room full of kids and taking care of all of their needs.

I guess what I am saying is the same thing I usually tell most people on this site: "When you encounter someone with an ignorance towards our affliction, you have three options: (1) educate them, (2) forget them, (3) hope they get it right the next time.

I used to opt for #2 all the time. Nowadays, when I encounter the problem, I try to do #1 and increase Celiac awareness. Yes, it is the harder choice, but it benefits everyone in the end.

BB

Yes, I do understand your point and I do agree to an extent. I have been working at educating my dd's teachers on this (as well as some of the parents in my dd's class). It is difficult to "forget" them as there does come a time when you either A) HAVE to send your child to school or seriously look into the feasibility of home-schooling. Life doesn't always give you an "out" in terms of ignoring something and making it go away. The more people you can bring into your corner...the easier it gets over time. And we all hope that they get it "right" the next time. But it's not like your child's body is less affected because of "accidental" glutenings as opposed to one that was done on purpose. And at what point is enough...enough?

I've been working at educating my dd's teachers since September. We've gone over cross contamination issues on nearly a weekly basis. I've provided separate soaps, tissues, towels, snacks, drinks, art supplies and have volunteered in the class several times. I even bake foods that are safe for ALL the children no matter what the allergen is. I've also provided informational sheets on celiac disease and have made myself available for any questions that they have. I do not expect the teacher to watch my dd and my dd only throughout each and every class. And quite frankly, it's not necessary as my dd at the age of 3 is quite adept at being her own advocate and she is very careful about obvious sources of gluten, dairy, soy and eggs. She KNOWS not to use the regular school soap as it contains gluten and soy. She asks the teacher to bring her soap to the restroom with them. So I guess my question is....at what point do I expect the teachers to know more than my 3 year old? And just why am I providing these separate items if they are letting everyone in the class use it as well? It seems a bit counterproductive. And playing the devil's advocate myself....I SAW one of the teachers cleaning off frosting and cake utensils and using my dd's soap to do it. So it's not like it's the other children who are doing this while the teachers are occupied.

Oh well. Come next week, I will once again bring in a separate soap dispenser, some new towels, sponges and plastic utensils and talk to the teachers once more about cross contamination issues, Celiac and food allergies. I will also be looking at the other schools in the area to see if they seem more willing to work with me on this. I am really looking forward to the day when Celiac is as well known as peanut allergies. I try to bring awareness but it gets frustrating as well as exhausting to always be swimming upstream. And this is just pre-school! Aye carumba!

I don't blame other parents for pulling their child out of school. I've been vascilating on that issue for quite a while as well. I'm more than willing to do EVERYTHING that I can to educate the teachers and make my dd's educational experience the best that it can be. But my first priority is to protect my child. Raising awareness is an added bonus...but only if the other side is listening.

[plantime]

Vicki, if you live in the United States, and your daughter attends a licensed preschool/daycare, inform the teachers that the next time your daughter's things are used for anyone/thing other than your daughter, you will report their negligence to the licensing board. If you bring soap, towels, whatever for your child to use, it is to have your child's name on it, and is not to ever be used for anyone/thing else. The way her soap was used is a violation of Kansas Child Care licensing laws, amd probably is in other states.

[vampella]

Just playing Devil's advocate, but were the employees competently trained on Celiac awareness?

BB

I have to agree with BroncoBux. Educate your teachers, otherwise you are the dumb one. As a former daycare provider, I can tell you that you need to give written, literal instructions about how to handle every little instance. Why didn't you give the preschool two towels, one for her table and one for her hands? Or a container of disposable disinfecting wipes just for her table? Why did you get angry at the teacher for not instantly knowing something that took you months of constant study to learn?

They were WELL educated.

The director even said her MIL has celiac disease and can do this and this and this& she was told there was no way in hell that Emmah could do that. she gets even the smallest trace and gets ill. I had 3 meetings. 1- day of finding out emmah had celiac disease. Took them much info from this site. I provided a towel for her hands to be dried with called all the companies about soap and such.(from their office). I send her all her own food. I bake when there is a party. then meetings 2 & 3 were to remind them that they were doing something against how I had instructed them to. They just don't care, If this was a nut allergy they would be all over it but because they can't "see" it's effects they don't believe or care.

Trust me these teachers have been educated on celiac disease & cross contamination but they choose to not care.

I made play dough safe for emmah and sent it in, they only gave it to her instead of replacing their old play dough with it like I had asked. Plus for anyone to say we are doing our best is complete B.S we can all do better.

[VegasCeliacBuckeye]

I can understand your frustration. One of my good friends has run into similar problems with his youngest daughter at pre-school. The director was on board, but the actual teachers were negligent with food preparation, cleanliness and general awareness.

He finally had to have a meeting with the director and the teachers at the same time (and his daughter). It took a few weeks, but things are now going well.

Interestingly enough, his daughter is the one whose learning curve is growing faster than the teachers. She knows when she can't have things and when the teahers are overlooking crumbs and such.

Sometimes the best help comes from the the most unexpected places...

[Lisa]

You know, I really admire all of the mothers with celiac children. It's darn hard to deal with the diet as an adult, but with a child must be so difficult. Often, you have to depend on others when they are out of your care, through working or otherwise. And they young little people will put anything in their mouth at any time.

MY HAT IS OFF TO ALL OF YOU. Your children are blessed to have YOU as their mothers.

[mom-to-claire]

Oh, your post made me cringe! My DD and DS are starting daycare on Tuesday and my DD is only 11.5 months old. We don't know if she has Celiac but are convinced she has some sort of gluten intolerance. She has only been gluten free for about 2 months so I'm still learning myself.

I'm SO nervous about starting daycare. Other than food, what other things could she get glutened from. What products do I need to find out about at the daycare. I am VERY fortunate because one of her "teachers" has a grown daughter that just was diagnosed in April as having Celiac so she knows a lot about it. I hope that helps!

When Claire gets glutened, she is MISERABLE for days. I think she may becoming more sensitive the longer she is gluten free (which I think I've read on here is common). I'm guessing that if they gluten her once, they won't do it again as they are going to have to deal with a VERY cranky baby for about a week!

[mommida]

I feel so bad for your terrible experience.

I must tell you to have faith and persistence. We were lucky to find a pre-school that is wonderful about Celiac. The director's daughter has Celiac and she has been supportive for our family and the pre-school teachers. I brought the book by Danna Korn for the the school's teachers and asked that anything questionable would not be given to my daughter, handwashing, cross-contamination issues, and disposable towels and wipes, and extra space to store gluten free snacks.

My daughter had a cold and I kept her home for two classes, her teacher called to see how she was feeling and to make sure it was not a gluten reaction from her classroom.

I hope you will find the right pre-school and school for your family.

L.

[2boysmama]

I feel your pain. I myself am getting ready to switch my boys to a different daycare. We're having issues other than with food, but for a lonnnnnnnnng time we had issues with that. I'm assuming it's always going to be this way. Like someone said, if it was a nut allergy they'd be all over it, but because this is "invisible" (to them) it's much easier for them to blow it off. With my older son he gets really bad D, bloating, and gas....so it seems like it would be real hard for them to ignore it, but they somehow manage to !

I too have supplied his milk, food, art supplies, written instructions on how to avoid cross-contamination, spoken with them numerous times, made myself available at any time for any questions, and printed off stuff from this site. You can only bang your head against the wall for so long before it's time to find a new wall.

[heathen]

ok. i work in child care, and i have celiac disease, so i can totally sympathize with your struggles. The typical preschool diet is based on wheat, and there have been a few occasions when i've been accidentally glutened at work. however, i have a few suggestions for you to help your next preschool experience be a better one. i'm sure you've done most of these, but there may be other moms out there who don't know where to start.

1. Make it perfectly clear to the director that every worker in the center needs to know that your child has a disease, that every time she gets glutened she WILL get sick. Have them post the "bad food" list (with your child's picture) in her classroom and in the kitchen area. Tell them never to give her any food item that you do not specifically approve or bring from home

2. Provide your own gluten-free food, towels, soap, etc. with your child's name CLEARLY marked on everything. And make sure they put her stuff in a place apart from all of the other children's stuff. If your child is fed by the school cook, send her own plates, bowls, and flatware, and ask that they be washed separately from the others.

3. Provide pamphlets about celiac disease and the gluten-free diet--this not only educates them, it also shows them that you're not making all this up to make their day harder.

4. Realize that the teacher does have a room full of kids and RARELY, your child may get glutened. As a parent, the worst thing you can do is let your anger get the better of you, gripe out the teacher, and threaten to call licensing. This not only makes the teacher defensive and ruins your credibility, it also makes it harder on any other food allergy kids that may attend that school.

5. Realize that not all parents take their children's restrictions as seriously as you do. Case in point, our peanut allergy parents don't insist we go peanut free and didn't bring an epi pen until after he had a serious reaction. Other parents flip flop on what their kids are and are not allowed to have.

6. If you keep having problems, talk to the director at a time other than peak times. If you still feel that you are not being heard, by all means, remove your child.

I hope this helps you to see it from the other side. I don't know about your center, but from my experience, many preschool workers are either young girls that are really nice but not always the brightest bulbs in the box, or they are older women who do things the same way they have always done them. It may take a lot of repetition before they "get it," but I hope that you are able to comunicate to the next preschool what your needs are in way that educates but doesn't make you the mom they avoid talking to.

[heathen]

A couple of things i forgot. Warn them about inhaled glutening--like if they are making cupcakes in the room. that one got me last summer. and make sure they know not to share her playdoh. Also, really emphasize the need to keep her stuff apart from the others. for instance, have her put her soap in her cubby after every use. Of course stuff like that will get easier as she gets older.

[vampella]

THANK YOU SO MUCH, ALL OF YOU!!!!

I did pull her but I will be looking for a new preschool for this coming fall. I figure if I start now I should find one by spring*I hope*

We are still new to this, she's only been gluten-free for 2.5 months so I am still learning also. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this but it makes me very sad at the same time. People need to get on board and relize this is serious. How we do that I'm not sure but I hope one day it will happen.

I had never thought about inhaled gluten, I will have to remember that!!

Thanks again everyone.

[taweavmo3]

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry you've had such a rough time, and I hope you can find a school that takes Celiac a bit more seriously. My dd is in pre-k, and her teachers have been a real blessing. She has not been glutened at school once, which shocked me b/c Emmie still doesn't really understand what she can and can't have. We had one close call, when she grabbed a regular cupcake, but they caught her before she ate it and they told me about it when I picked her up. There was one day she was out sick, and her teacher called at home to make sure she was okay. They really seem to care about keeping her safe, which is probably why we've had such a good experience. I hope you can find a similar school situation...it makes life so much easier!

[happygirl]

I have to echo Lisa's sentiments...those of you who are mothers to little Celiacs get my vote of admiration! I've finally gt it down for me and what works for me, but I really give the moms out there a lot of credit.

Vampella, whatever the solution is, I hope you find a good way to keep your daughter gluten free at pre-school!!!!

Laura

[2boysmama]

Not to hijack your thread - but I had YET ANOTHER incident with the daycare on Friday !! My son Ryan was sent to another room where the staff isn't familiar with him. I walk in and he has a BIG handful of playdoh !! I have supplied all his own stuff, gave verbal AND written instructions on how to avoid cc, printed stuff out from this site and made sure to tell them to notify any staff that's unfamiliar with him about his issues. The worst part ? It was the assistant director that put him in that room.

Needless to say, I'm in the process of finding a new daycare. I've had numerous issues with them and it's gotten to the point where I honestly feel I need to file a complaint with the state licensing board. They simply are not taking food problems seriously. I've been more than patient and now I'm done.

[pinktulip]

I work in a daycare and while it is hard to keep children from eating things they shouldn't, we seperate children with allergies and intolerances at a seperate table that is bleached after every mean. Actually all the tables are but this table is never in direct contact of foods containined soy, corn, wheat or peanuts. One of the little girls in my class is three and her parents actully had to pull her out her old daycare becuase of the ignorance of the teacher. She knew about the childs peanut allergy (severe, her throat closes up and such) and decided to do a porject with the kids using peanut butter. Her defense was they weren't eating the peanut butter. We check everything we give her and if we're not sure we have backup. I always keep Oreos in my desk in case a parent brings a snack that is iffy.

I think it also helps with our awareness if the fact that the owned of the daycare is on a gluten-free and egg free diet.