"you Might Be A Celiac If....."

[LqrMan]

Just to keep things on a disgusting note since it seems like you guys like the dirty humor...

In an unofficial farting contest between you and your friends that have just eaten White Castle, you are the clear winner and they are forced to clear out of the room and are thoroughly disgusted with you.

Enough with the gross ones...

You try to justify being Celiac because you are healthier than people that consume gluten.

[celiac3270]

I thought some of the newer members might enjoy seeing this. For the last compilation, see page 15, or this link:

Open Original Shared Link

[MallysMama]

I thought some of the newer members might enjoy seeing this. For the last compilation, see page 15, or this link:

Open Original Shared Link

Thanks for all the laughs!! Some I didn't quite understand - because I was too little when it all first happened. But I loved reading the whole list!! Here's one that wasn't quite mentioned:

You know you're a Celiac when you rush to your car from the grocery store after finding out that Corn Pops added wheat starch to their ingredients - and you cried and cried and cried!! (It was the cereal I grew up eating - one of the only ones that was gluten-free ....and if it weren't for this forum I probably wouldn't even realize they added the wheat.) Then you wish you could send a nasty, hateful letter to Kellogs and hope that one little person could convince them to change it back!

OR - you know you're a Celiac when you finally find the new boxes of Trix that no longer contain wheat starch and you buy a huge supply of them and eat them at least once a day for weeks on end! Yum Yum Yum!! And you want to send a wonderful, loving letter to that company to tell them what a great job they're doing!!

[penguin]

You know you're a celiac when:

- You jump for joy when you see another human in the gluten-free section of the grocery store

- You jump for joy when there IS a gluten-free section in the grocery store

- You start to think that you must have three heads, since everyone looks at you like you do

- You've had a fast food worker shout from the rooftops: "What do you mean YOU DON'T WANT NO BUN?!?"

- You carry wet wipes, perfume, and a mini bottle of air-freshener everywhere you go

- You know that oust works much better than glade

- Your co-workers installed a double strength plug-in in the office bathroom

- You know what xanthan gum, guar gum, and tapioca starch are

- You know how to pronounce amaranth and quinoa

- You're considering tattooing your 2 minute spiel about gluten intolerance/celiac on your forehead because you're sick of explaining

- You wonder how people can ask, "white bread doesn't have wheat in it, right?"

- You carry a set of pots and pans with utensils and the contents of your fridge with you everywhere you go

- You know 3000000 different ways to prepare potatoes and rice

- You wear a hazmat suit to go to your mom's house

[utdan]

...you get really enthusiatic and excited when you find out there might be a convention for people with your food intolerance.

...you've once entertained the thought of moving to China for the only reason that they might use less of a certain food.

...if you've fantasized about a whole city or county or even state becoming absolutely gluten-free by law.

[Green12]

I thought of a few silly ones, sorry if they are redundant in theme....

-you have perfected the art of "store hopping", going from store to store around town to get all of your gluten-free foods because there is not one store that carries everything you need

-the letters "d" and "c" actually have meaning, and it isn't good

-your new circle of friends include Amy, Pamela, Bette, and Bob

-your vocabulary expands to include interesting words like Chebe, Kinnikkinnick, and Xanthan Gum

[Mango04]

I thought of a few silly ones, sorry if they are redundant in theme....

-you have perfected the art of "store hopping", going from store to store around town to get all of your gluten-free foods because there is not one store that carries everything you need

-the letters "d" and "c" actually have meaning, and it isn't good

-your new circle of friends include Amy, Pamela, Betty, and Bob

-your vocabulary expands to include interesting words like Chebe, Kinnikkinnick, and Xanthan Gum

LOL those are good. a couple more:

- you have a good friend whose nickname is "D" and suddenly you feel a little strange about calling her that...

- you get really annoyed with a person who dips a cracker in your hummus (my friend D recently did that, ironically enough)

- you even question the ingredients in things like apples and cucumbers

- you ask a friend to take a picture of you eating gluten-free pizza, just to document the fact that you actually ate pizza...

- cubicle life is a little less boring because at least you have your friends at celiac.com to keep you company throughout the day

-you dance around the grocery store after finding Food For Life Brown Rice Tortillas for the first time, and then for the next two days you put everything you eat in a tortilla

[Green12]

- you have a good friend whose nickname is "D" and suddenly you feel a little strange about calling her that...

- you get really annoyed with a person who dips a cracker in your hummus (my friend D recently did that, ironically enough)

- you even question the ingredients in things like apples and cucumbers

- you ask a friend to take a picture of you eating gluten-free pizza, just to document the fact that you actually ate pizza...

- cubicle life is a little less boring because at least you have your friends at celiac.com to keep you company throughout the day

-you dance around the grocery store after finding Food For Life Brown Rice Tortillas for the first time, and then for the next two days you put everything you eat in a tortilla

Mango

Your friend "D" dipped her cracker in your hummus

[StrongerToday]

You've been known to grab things out of people hands to read the labels

[Miss Dana]

Your friend invites you over for dinner, makes gluten-free spagetti for you and then, as she's serving it, opens up a bread basket to offer you a piece of bread to go with your spagetti.

[celiac3270]

BUMP

[Canadian Karen]

You know you are celiac if:

You have a deep hatred for those silly motion sensor toilets in public washrooms. For someone who uses the double flush, or triple flush technique of going to the bathroom, those motion sensor toilets just don't cut it..... How can we hide the sound and smell of going to the bathroom when we can't flush while we're going??????

[Nantzie]

Hey Karen - There's usually a little button on the little control box that you can push to flush. Not sure if it works while you're still sitting, but I would think so.

[Canadian Karen]

I thought so too! Because there are usually buttons on the ones I have encountered before.... But this particular location, couldn't find a button if my life depended on it! Unless they had it hidden underneath the bowl or something! Just give me the good ole lever kind any ole day!

Hugs.

Karen

[jerseyangel]

Gee, I've never seen a button Never thought to look

[Nantzie]

No button? Yikes!!

[DingoGirl]

-- You try to explain to your friends about www.glutenfreeforum.com as an "online support group" and they laugh at you and call you "weird"

Yup, try explaining the entire "cult" we've formed (it's our own gluten-free paradise called RAchelville) on the "OMG I think I can eat dairy" thread......lunacy on that one.....

[lonewolf]

- you ask a friend to take a picture of you eating gluten-free pizza, just to document the fact that you actually ate pizza...

Oh yeah! My daughter actually DID take a picture of me eating pizza that I actually ordered in a pizza place, rather than making it myself. My whole family celebrated with me. The pizza place actually even had goat cheese, so I got cheese on it!

[Kaycee]

You might be a coeliac if you panic when someone is wanting to use the loo after you.

You might be a coeliac if when using a public toilet, you sneak out when nobody else is around.

Just found this thread and it is wonderfully funny, if not quite serious.

[utdan]

You might be celiac if you ever thought of wheat bread as your nemesis.

[snapple]

Thank you to everyone who had suggestions! This was over the top funny. At one point I was laughing so hard I cried. That hardly ever happens! You know your a celiac if your friends and family look at your gluten free beer and ask " why is your beer made with sour-gum?"

On the same note, someone tries to taste your beer and your first reaction is to scream "NONONONONONO!!!!!!!!", instead of politely saying, please don't put your lips on my drink. Yeah, 'cause I have never done that!!!

[heathen]

if you've ever shoved someone out of their own bathroom...

true story.

also, if you know the location of all the most private stalls at your workplace, campus, etc.

again, true story. ground floor, lewis science center. just in case any of you are ever at the university of central arkansas.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

How about--when you don't go ANYWHERE without wipees--even after your children are out of diapers (or even if you've never HAD children)?

[penguin]

again, true story. ground floor, lewis science center. just in case any of you are ever at the university of central arkansas.

I'll remember that next time I'm in Conway...I'm sure it beats the Stoby's bathroom!

How about--when you don't go ANYWHERE without wipees--even after your children are out of diapers (or even if you've never HAD children)?

Amen! My purse is two pockets short of a diaper bag, and I don't even have kids

[quantumsugar]

-you feel naseous, and you pray that it's the flu

This happened to me the other day, it was either: 1) too much sugared-up cereal, 2) gluten, or 3) the flu. I was really hoping that if I got sick, it would be flu and not gluten. (Fortunately, it was actually just an overdose of Fruity Pebbles).