Purposely Hurting Self

[revenant]

Whenever I'm depressed, I find myself drifting towards gluten to give me that warm kind-of -high- (followed by sickness of course)

So when i'm depressed I stuff my face with bread, I mean like 3 buns and 5 cupcakes and anything that has the highest gluten content I can find until I can't eat anymore. I really want to stop forcing myself into the sleepy, achey, sick-to-my-stomach, state that I already had to put up with throughout the majority of my life.

I'm not sure what i'm asking. How do I get out of this horrible cycle?? Maybe this isn't the right forum, but anything that takes away bread/gluten cravings would be helpful, and anything else..

[conniebky]

You can make really good french toast with gluten-free bread, and that's yummy and satisfying. Ice cream works for me, too.

If you keep getting depressed, a doctor can help with that. It sounds like you're on a very bad merry go round.

[RiceGuy]

Some things which help with depression include vitamin B12. Get the methylcobalamin form, in a sublingual tablet/lozenge. Take 5mg per day. A co-enzyme B-complex would be a good idea too, along with zinc, magnesium, vitamin D3, and some omega-3s.

Other than that, I think the best thing to do would be to go for gluten-free foods which you enjoy, but aren't gluten-free versions of traditionally wheat-based foods. Otherwise you'd probably not be satisfied, given the absence of the gluten-induced high. Potato chips, fries, corn nuts, popcorn, coconut ice cream, etc, etc. Whatever naturally gluten-free goodies you already know and enjoy. Have some on hand, and indulge when you must.

Gluten is addictive, but you can overcome it with willpower and some time. Giving in to the cravings will only prolong the addiction (if thats what you're dealing with). It may take a few weeks or so, depending on the person. I'm confident that you can do it. The fine members of this board will be glad to help all they can. You're in the right place. Welcome!

[butterfl8]

What about other starchy type foods? I now go for mashed potatos, macaroni and cheese, and of course, ice cream! (I know, ice cream isn't starchy, but it is a comfort food!!!)

For me, my depression went away when I went gluten free, and I was able to stop taking my meds. So you may be putting yourself into a worsening cycle just by eating bread. Just something to consider that may help.

And welcome, we love to help!

-Daisy

[GlutenFreeManna]

Hi, you are not alone. You might want to read this thread:

[kayo]

Sounds like you could benefit from some counseling and guidance from a nutritionist/dietitian. Do you have access to either? Hang in there, it does get better.

[sunnybabi1986]

I keep my freezer stocked with Udi's bread and muffins for times when I really really crave gluten. The taste is so similar (go Udi's!) that I can't tell the difference! Also, some good quality gluten free pasta will do the trick for me. Toss it with an olive oil/lemon/garlic/parmesan sauce and I forget all about wanting gluten!

But as others mentioned, it sounds like you may need to talk to a nutritionist or dietician...you may be missing something in your diet that your body really needs.

[ravenwoodglass]

How long have you been gluten free? How strict are you with the diet? The reason why I ask is because for some of us depression is a part of the glutening process, for me it is the first thing that happens when gluten gets into my system. Gluten is an addictive substance. I wonder if you are reacting to unknown glutening with depression which is then triggering the addictive aspect of the disease.

Can you try going with a whole food diet? Avoid eating out and at others homes and be super strict with what you are eating. You may go through a withdrawl, many of us do and that in itself can have a depressive aspect. Tough it out and indulge in for sure gluten free stuff like a for sure gluten free chocolate or another treat you may enjoy or an activity that will boost your spirits, dancing, music etc and see if that helps.

[Mari]

I hope you take the time to fill out your profile and give some information about yourself - this often helps us to be better in answering your inquiries. I have strong cravings sometimes, it's usually for chocolate and almost anything sweet and filling. Sometimes I'm not strong enough to resist and pay the price as you do. So we are both human. But it's not all strength and resolve that we need - it's important to realize that this is a symptom - something we need to learn about so we can deal with it. I get these cravings when I feel that I need some quick energy even tho my mind is saying that it's not a good idea to do this. I found out that I had a problem with intestinal candida and that jolly little yeast actually produces something when it gets hungry that urges us to eat the foods it likes - sugars and carbohydrates. Other people, so I've read, have been vitamin deficient or have food allgeries or intolerances. One problem with allergies is that we can actually crave the foods and other things which set off the allergies. Look at the Specific Carbohydrate Diet - other posters here have found it as helpful as I have. I wouldn't think of what you describe as self inflicted pain, it's just a natural reaction to what your body is telling you what it needs.

[sandsurfgirl]

Keep gluten free carb starchy type stuff on hand for those times.

Betty Crocker has the best mixes for yellow cake, chocolate chip cookies, brownies and chocolate cake. I keep all of them in my pantry for cravings.

Gluten Free Pantry basic white bread mix puts Udi's to shame and costs a fraction. It's about $4 for a nice big loaf. You mix it up, rise it for half hour and then bake for half hour. It makes such a "normal" sandwich and french toast. Gluten eaters all have loved it.

Keep potato chips on hand too.

If you need to binge do it gluten free. Then find a way to deal with binging because that's a whole separate issue. As a former bulimic (which I really believe was a celiac symptom because I have no desire for that since I went gluten free) I totally get the urge to binge like crazy. It's very hard to resist, so just make your environment safe for when you have those needs.

[revenant]

I just have to say thanks all.

I didn't realize how much effect gluten has on my life! I didn't even realize it could be what's making me so depressed and angry all the time, I didn't really see it's emotional effects. I think with this knowledge alone I have enough to get off of the gluten (and milk, i'm actually lactose too), I hear the two often collide.

I'm going to stock up on gluten free breads as many of you suggested, and just STOP eating it. It's going to be hard, I hate that period of withdrawl that I know is just around the bend.

I have a really good feeling that the bingeing will stop when I stop eating gluten, because there was a 3 month period where I didn't binge and it was the same 3 months I randomly decided to cut out GLUTEN. Huh! I lost 15 pounds those 3 months. Also, the malnutrition and the blood sugar spikes are definitely the cause behind the bingeing in the first place!

I'm going to be using this forum a lot more often backed with this knowledge. Thanks again you all for being so helpful!

[SuperMolly]

Depression, mood swings, anger...those are all things that happen when I get glutenized. That has been the best part of going gluten free for me.

My kids are good at helping me avoid gluten because the older ones remember my emotional instability and don't want to go back to that!

Thank God we figured out the gluten connection when we did. It's so nice to feel more emotionally stable.

[elle's mom]

Whenever I'm depressed, I find myself drifting towards gluten to give me that warm kind-of -high- (followed by sickness of course)

So when i'm depressed I stuff my face with bread, I mean like 3 buns and 5 cupcakes and anything that has the highest gluten content I can find until I can't eat anymore. I really want to stop forcing myself into the sleepy, achey, sick-to-my-stomach, state that I already had to put up with throughout the majority of my life.

I'm not sure what i'm asking. How do I get out of this horrible cycle?? Maybe this isn't the right forum, but anything that takes away bread/gluten cravings would be helpful, and anything else..

I find the best way to avoid gluten is not to present yourself with it as an option. Don't keep it in your home if at all possible. DO NOT let your car turn into the drive through.......it's so true that gluten is an addiction. Just as an alcoholic should not sit in a bar, we also need to restrict ourselves in somewhat the same way.

[sandsurfgirl]

I just have to say thanks all.

I didn't realize how much effect gluten has on my life! I didn't even realize it could be what's making me so depressed and angry all the time, I didn't really see it's emotional effects. I think with this knowledge alone I have enough to get off of the gluten (and milk, i'm actually lactose too), I hear the two often collide.

I'm going to stock up on gluten free breads as many of you suggested, and just STOP eating it. It's going to be hard, I hate that period of withdrawl that I know is just around the bend.

I have a really good feeling that the bingeing will stop when I stop eating gluten, because there was a 3 month period where I didn't binge and it was the same 3 months I randomly decided to cut out GLUTEN. Huh! I lost 15 pounds those 3 months. Also, the malnutrition and the blood sugar spikes are definitely the cause behind the bingeing in the first place!

I'm going to be using this forum a lot more often backed with this knowledge. Thanks again you all for being so helpful!

I used to be bulimic- binging and then purging because I felt guilty for eating all of that junk. I decided not to do that anymore, but I would still get awful cravings and then once in awhile I would binge, but not purge. I would do other things like workout a bunch or whatever, still not healthy.

I've been gluten free for 7 months now and I have no desire to binge. I don't get cravings at all, not even for gluten free junk foods. I want to eat sweets sometimes, but I eat one or two cookies and I'm satisfied.

When I was on gluten I was never satisfied with a couple of cookies or a small piece of cake. I wanted more and more and more, but I didn't want to gain weight so I would white knuckle it and force myself not to.

Like we all said, get a bunch of gluten free goodies and let yourself binge on those to get through the withdrawal phase. I promise if you can get totally off gluten you will stop binging eventually.

I'm not sure if you are overweight, but if you are, another thing I did was I did not try to lose weight until I started feeling better. I was starving all the time and my body needed calories to heal. I'm losing steadily now without too much effort because I waited until my body was ready to regulate itself.

[sb2178]

Definitely do all of the above! Anemia (get ferritin checked as well as hemoglobin) especially might be an issue, along with other nutrient deficiencies. And be prepared for just plain being hungry all the time for the first few weeks-- you've done this, and you will get through it. Chocolate is yummy and gluten-free. Fruit is sweet... and there are options for puddings, cakes etc. Hot chocolate and tea can be made sweet and the heat may be soothing. Nuts are salty and filling. Tortilla chips and salsa, etc. Kinnikinick makes good pseudo oreos.

Whining here is always acceptable, as needed. Mmmm... oreos.