Did Anyone See Friday's Ellen Show?

[WinterSong]

Okay, I love Ellen. Like LOVE LOVE her. And I know that we need to have a sense of humor about ourselves...but....

 

She had a segment about funny dating websites, and she started with the new gluten free dating site. And it made me kinda sad. Because while the idea of this site may seem like a little bit much, even for some people on this board, the fact is that dating and getting significant others on board and able to understand what we're going through is really difficult. I was talking to someone who runs a gluten-free bakery a few weeks ago, and she said that several of her gluten-free employees have had a very difficult time dating.

 

I understand on a personal level. I had an ex-boyfriend who would complain about my diet and not care if he got me sick. I went on a date with someone else, and before he knew about my gluten intolerance he went into a rant about how he hated dealing with his ex-girlfriend's peanut allergy. I've seen numerous online dating profiles that say he/she would not date someone with a food intolerance or someone who is a vegetarian. And that close-mindedness is sad. I am very lucky to have met a wonderful guy who is a gluten eater but is 100% supportive of my diet - it really means the world to me. But again, I feel like I got lucky. Many people are not tolerant of this lifestyle. 

 

The other dating sites she mentioned were for clowns and people with mullets. Neither of those have anything to do with someone's health or a medical condition. Now, I'm sure Ellen doesn't realize that this demographic of people with serious autoimmune diseases are trying to find people who understand and will be supportive of their lifestyle. But still it made me feel kinda down. I feel like gluten free has been the butt of a lot of jokes lately that undermine the seriousness of the disease and what it feels like emotionally. 

.

Again, I know we should have a sense of humor about it all. I'm not outraged or anything. But still...did anyone else see this and feel the same?

[WinterSong]

Correction. It was today's episode (Monday).

[w8in4dave]

Air time!! My thought is let Celiac get air time and maby it will be more people to look into it . Just my 2 cents.  

[Waitingindreams]

No, I didn't see that segment - but I would feel exactly the same way as you did. When I was diagnosed, I had only been with my boyfriend for about 10 days. He loves pizza, so we had been trying out a bunch of new restaurants near the area. Meanwhile I was getting very sick all the time, so I was skipping meals here and there and not eating much whenever I did eat. (For some odd reason though - pizza was one thing my body let me eat...everything else made me very, very sick) 

 

I was wary about telling him because it was a new relationship. I didn't know how he'd react. Surprisingly, he took it very well and he's very supportive. He finds me gluten free restaurants, markets, and sites. It's been great having someone. But even though I didn't understand fully what having celiac disease meant, I knew that it would change my entire life and I had no idea how my new boyfriend would take it. It is hard...and like you, I feel very lucky that I met someone who is so supportive. He's been great - far better than my parents and way more understanding than most of my friends. I've read about people being judgmental of the diet and it's just scary, and it's bs, really - if I were dating someone with allergies/food intolerances I would do whatever I could to make him feel okay and make sure he didn't get sick. That's terrible that you had to deal with people that weren't supportive before, but it's great that you've found a good guy now.

 

I think that even though there are obviously great guys out there that don't have a gluten intolerance, a gluten-free dating site is a great idea. It certainly would make things less complicated. Idk what Ellen was on about, there's nothing weird about it.

[ItchyAbby]

It's all so clear to us on this side of the "fence", no? I'm like "Shoot, if I were single and looking, I would seriously consider going on a gluten free dating site!" But to folks who don't have Celiac/NCGS or have anyone close to them that has it, it probably just seems weird that we would care about finding someone who was also gluten-free. They don't understand that it not just about avoiding bread. They don't know that kissing someone who has eaten gluten can make us sick. They just don't know.

 

Until this year, I didn't know either. My BF is gluten intolerant and before my dx, I cooked everything gluten free at home for both of us, but I would still occasionally eat gluten when I was out and about. Then I would come home and the first thing I would do is kiss him hello. I didn't know. We never researched it that much before we found out that I was so incredibly sensitive.

[Carebear]

I agree, that is sad!!! I feel truly blessed to have a husband who has a digestive disease as well.  He totally gets it, as do any friends who were around when I was diagnosed (I was sooooo sick, and very very pale and thin).  Both my husband and I see media in this vein, and it's so disappointing.  Ignorant people sure can be jerks!  I've had ex boyfriends tell me I should "suck it up", it's just a little diarrhea!!!

[dilettantesteph]

I agree.  I didn't see the Ellen show, but I saw another where the annoying girlfriend wanted gluten free pizza.  It is considered some kind of OCD thing - which is actually a real condition as well - rather than a serious medical issue.  My husband hasn't been the greatest.  I worry about my kids finding significant others.  My daughter has a truly wonderful boyfriend.  He doesn't let gluten anywhere near her and completely understands the super sensitivity thing.  That should give us all hope.  

[NoGlutenCooties]

Just my .02 - if a significant other cannot understand a relatively simple thing as not being able to eat gluten then you're lucky to find that out early in the relationship so you can move on.

 

And by "relatively simple" I do not mean to imply that the disease is somehow not serious... I mean that it is not overly complicated.  And it isn't contageous.

 

My boyfriend has been really good about it - I don't have serious cross-contamination issues yet, so I'm not sure he fully understands the potential ramifications of the whole thing (I'm still learning myself) - but if I were in a position of having to start dating again I can't see going out of my way to find another gluten-free person.  I would want a caring, understanding, tolerant person.  But that's what I was looking for even before I knew anything about this disease.  And they do exist out there.  They aren't as plentiful as the self-centered, egotistical, spoiled brat idiots... but they do exist.

[notme]

i posted a link (in 'celiac meeting room' i think) that was a site for gluten-free dating.  i am married but i can imagine it would be difficult to date now that i am diagnosed.  but if i wasn't diagnosed, i wouldn't be dating, i would be sick or dead hahaha wouldn't have to worry about dating then hahahaa

 

seriously, is that something you put right out there "hi, i'm arlene.  have you eaten a sandwich recently?  or drank a malt beverage?"  lolz i like 'em big and dumb anyway.  where's my toothbrush necklace?? 

 

shame on ellen, although i do like her.  sort of 'be kind to one another, but not if you are gluten free' 

[Bell232]

Okay, I love Ellen. Like LOVE LOVE her. And I know that we need to have a sense of humor about ourselves...but....

 

She had a segment about funny dating websites, and she started with the new gluten free dating site. And it made me kinda sad. Because while the idea of this site may seem like a little bit much, even for some people on this board, the fact is that dating and getting significant others on board and able to understand what we're going through is really difficult. I was talking to someone who runs a gluten-free bakery a few weeks ago, and she said that several of her gluten-free employees have had a very difficult time dating.

 

I understand on a personal level. I had an ex-boyfriend who would complain about my diet and not care if he got me sick. I went on a date with someone else, and before he knew about my gluten intolerance he went into a rant about how he hated dealing with his ex-girlfriend's peanut allergy. I've seen numerous online dating profiles that say he/she would not date someone with a food intolerance or someone who is a vegetarian. And that close-mindedness is sad. I am very lucky to have met a wonderful guy who is a gluten eater but is 100% supportive of my diet - it really means the world to me. But again, I feel like I got lucky. Many people are not tolerant of this lifestyle. 

 

The other dating sites she mentioned were for clowns and people with mullets. Neither of those have anything to do with someone's health or a medical condition. Now, I'm sure Ellen doesn't realize that this demographic of people with serious autoimmune diseases are trying to find people who understand and will be supportive of their lifestyle. But still it made me feel kinda down. I feel like gluten free has been the butt of a lot of jokes lately that undermine the seriousness of the disease and what it feels like emotionally. 

.

Again, I know we should have a sense of humor about it all. I'm not outraged or anything. But still...did anyone else see this and feel the same?

I did see the show and at first I understood why she thought it was funny.  But it truly is a great idea for a dating website.  My ex-husband thinks I am making my Celiac Disease up.  He says "oh come on...you can have a piece of pizza or a bite of a sandwich".  It is very hard to explain to people how serious my reactions are to gluten.  If Ellen understood how serious it is and lived it she would understand too.  Right now I think that people think that this is a trend or something.  Like it's a choice.  In my house, my 4 kids understand the severity since they see what happens to me if I ingest any gluten or soy.  I am going to be on Ellen November 13th.  Maybe I can talk to her!!!!  Hahaha!

[Ys255]

I think it's all in good fun and not to be taking seriously. It is silly though - a gluten free dating site. I mean, if someone won't accept your allergy, they're no good for you. You're more of an individual, and makes you more interesting to others. What I thought was Ellen basically saying there are people out there who are close minded and ignorant.

[cap6]

I am a little tired of the gluten free jokes myself.  A friend sent me a video clip of some late night comic who did a monologue on gluten free.  She thought it the funniest thing and was sure I would enjoy the humor.  Not.  I would think it funny to laugh at a person with a peanut allergy or diabetes so why do we need to laugh at those who are gluten free?  It just gets taken a bit too far sometimes.  Just my thought........

[Pegleg84]

Ha! My cousin jokingly sent me a link to the site (and I made a joke back that my BF should find a dating site for vegetarians). It's one of those things that does seem ridiculous until you realise that this disease is as nasty as it is, and something as simple as a gluteny kiss can trigger a reaction.

 

Of course, dating is tough. When looking for a significant other, I think it's really important to be upfront about things that could be detrimental to your health. If they can't handle the extra care that takes, then they're not worth it. For some people, this site might be just what they need.

[IrishHeart]

We had a member here (Skylark) who once said this funny truth about having celiac:

 

"It's like having a built-in "jerk-o-meter".

 

You'll know soon enough who your friends are and who will love you for YOU, never thinking

your very real disease is a joke or an imposition or that you are "making it up".

 

So glad I was married when this sucker hit me hard. My guy went G F with me to make it easier.

Today is our anniversary and believe me, I am grateful for him and his continual concern for my welfare.

 

I am thinking someday, WE  GEE FREERS will be the norm, rather than the minority. We will rule the world. (okay, maybe that's just a fantasy

in my head...) 

 

And FWIW, neither Ellen or Jimmy Fallon or any of those "comedians" are all that funny in their G F jokes, IMHO.

 

John Pinette's take on being G F however, is hilarious!

[Gemini]

You are right that we should always have a good sense of humor about many things, Celiac included, but really......who cares what Ellen thinks?  She stopped being funny a long time ago, when her sitcom was canceled.  I think she had one of the funniest shows on TV but as a talk show host?  Not so much.  She's no different than all the rest of them today. They take themselves way too seriously and are contributing nothing. Celebrities are not what they used to be. There used to be some level of respect for people and now that has all gone. They will say whatever they need to for ratings sake.

 

Happy Anniversary, Irish!  

[luvs2eat]

My youngest was looking for a roommate and put in her CL ad that she would ONLY talk to completely gluten free candidates. Spending a year living w/ a roomie who didn't get gluten-free and left gluten stuff all over the place made up her mind that she'd either live alone or only live with someone who takes being gluten free as seriously as she does. A dating site might not be such a bad idea.

[eers03]

I didn't see it but I know the resulting feeling that you have detailed.

[tonalynn]

I didn't see the episode of Ellen where she mentioned the gluten-free dating site, but I can certainly understand this debate from both sides. People really don't understand Celiac and gluten sensitivity. Partly because right now it's "trendy," which frankly, pisses me off. It's "trendy" to keep yourself from eating something that makes you incredibly sick and destroys your body? Then why isn't it "trendy" to not eat rat poison too? That's such a stupid view of something very serious, but there you have it.

 

Having being gluten free being so popular now is a two sided coin. On one hand, it's terrific that so many things are becoming gluten free, that awareness is growing and making things a little easier on us. But on the other hand, it's annoying and frustrating to be lumped in with the stereotyped group that lords this decision over people, like they're superior human beings because they did this as a choice. It's assumed all of us had a choice in this. Being vegetarian or vegan is a choice. Not eating a particular food because you don't like it or don't believe in how it arrives at your table is a choice. Wanting to not only stay healthy but also stay ALIVE is not a choice, that's an instinct.

 

This reminds me of a ridiculous news story I heard recently that made me roll my eyes. A vegan man has started a petition to force Starbucks to make a vegan version of their Pumpkin Spice Latte. He complained that they should expand their menu to allow vegans to enjoy more of their products. Seriously dude?? YOU'RE the reason we're not taken seriously! This guy made a personal life choice to be vegan, nothing wrong with that. But to try to force others to cater to your choice just like it was a serious condition? Come on! A lot of the comments below the story shared the same perspective. Being vegan is a choice. Having celiac or gluten intolerance is not.

 

The view that we are making a lifestyle choice needs to be changed from a snobby, I'm-superior-to-you-because-I-choose-not-to-eat-something-you-do attitude to the view that we have a serious medical condition that we aren't making up, we didn't ask for and frankly, wouldn't want if we had the choice! Who would want to make their life more difficult on purpose? It needs to be looked at the same way as if we said "if I eat that battery acid, I'll get really sick and could die from it." That statement wouldn't be contradicted, right?

 

This may have been the wrong post to put my little rant, but it makes me mad to hear people are experiencing ridicule and feeling that people think this is a choice when it takes an incredibly strong and dedicated person to go gluten free. When I hear people minimalizing our conditions, I just want to tell them "you couldn't go completely gluten free on a bet." Maybe I will start saying that, see if any of them take me up on that. I doubt it though. ;-)

[NoGlutenCooties]

Tonalynn - well said... and I couldn't agree more!  If eating gluten sent us into anaphylaxis shock maybe people would take it seriously.  Some days I think if I hear one more person say, "but just a little won't hurt you" I'm going to hurt someone....