The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Ridgewalker]

Just pooping in real quick... I am so tired... don't know why, just TIRED...

(((HUGS))) to Susie... I know what you're going through.

Loooooved Judy Blume, and Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret was one of my favorite books when I was a kid.

I think my poopathon a couple days ago was a Micky D's glutening.

Brian is on vacation all this week, so it's nice having him around... since he's not around much otherwise...

I just realized that with all the chaos of illnesses and medications and everything else, I totally forgot to sign Ezra up for kindergarten. Furthermore, we may have missed open house. What a space cadet...

Edited to Add... I also meant to :lol: at the Kenyan pushups!

[nikki-uk]

Kenyan push ups

Bev's main Maine thread littered with virus's????

(Ha! Haven't had my second cup of tea and it's still too early, obviously....cannot get my mind around the reconfiguring of that sentence to move the preposition into its proper middle position...).. . . ..

....actually I am perpetually in that state!!........I look at a sentence, know summat's wrong ...but damned if I know what (on 5th cup of tea )

brian not quite awake yet this morning

WHO the heck's Brian and why isn't he awake???? ........also what does Mark think of this arrangement??

Evening to ALL!!!!!!!!!!

Must get dinner on (fish and salad ....:boredwivmedinnerwantmesometransfats:)

[jerseyangel]

WHO the heck's Brian and why isn't he awake???? ........also what does Mark think of this arrangement??

Further proof of me brain taking a while to function today

Enjoy yer fish, Nik

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Sarah!!!! sorry to hear you may have missed open house and all.....Sometimes in my worst poopathons I worry I may Shat my brain away!!!!!

[Green12]

Must get dinner on (fish and salad ....:boredwivmedinnerwantmesometransfats:)

Evenin' Nikki! MMMM, fish and salad, sounds scruptious Edna is so boring and same ol, same ol. Why can't she be more exciting for goodness sakes?

Patti, wake up yer brian!!!!!!

Sillies, having a problem with the air conditioner/furnace thing, water is coming out of it I know nothing of these things )....basically it means no usage of the air conditioner until they come out to fix it tomorrow. And it's bloody hot!!

I blame Tom for the excess phluid, look at his post count

[Green12]

Jess, I just noticed yer avatar! You have yer glitter on

Wow, beautifully done eyes. You do a cult member proud

[nikki-uk]

I worry I may Shat my brain away!!!!!

Amanda and her one liners cracking me up everyday!!

Evenin' Nikki! MMMM, fish and salad, sounds scruptious

It does??

...and if I AM to put ON weight everytime I get weighed in at me slimming club I may as well be eating deep - bloody- fried something delicious!!!!!!!!!!

Sillies, having a problem with the air conditioner/furnace thing, water is coming out of it I know nothing of these things )....basically it means no usage of the air conditioner until they come out to fix it tomorrow. And it's bloody hot!!

Come and live here Jules!!...you'll only need the air- con maybe 2 days of the year (blankets wrapped round yer the rest of summer )

Borito (wee Boris) had his 2nd jab AND micro chip today.....he was a very brave soldier and didn't even squeak

Will has now climbed in the 'small cat carry box' (big fat lump all squashed in) and has fallen asleep !!!

...back to the fish..............

[jerseyangel]

Come and live here Jules!!...you'll only need the air- con maybe 2 days of the year (blankets wrapped round yer the rest of summer )

Sounds like heaven to me--ok.... Julie and I will be there next week.

[Mtndog]

Good afternoon- Looks like I missed some beautiful moments and Jess-isms. You guys are the best! :wub:

I just think that amazing people sometimes forget that they are amazing, and need reminding.

Ditto to you Miss Glittery Eyes (gorgeousssssss!!!!!!!!!)

All right. Jess, you have been Silly-Instructed NOT to scream with such ferocity (font size 8, er sumphin'), as it completely strrrrrretchesssss all of our screens, and there must be constant, exhausting scrolling back and forth. Well, Ptaoughmghmn!

Had a lovely dinner with my parents, and it is true....I am SO unbelievably blessed to still have them both here, both in their eighties, and both mentally sharper than anyone around....sharper than ME, fer sure.....

My dad is fading physically, however. Parkinson's.

I thought my screen had stretch marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parents growing old It's hard. My dad is 78 and last night I just thought "Gawd, when I lose him " His cat's been sick and to him, it's the last symbol of my mom in his place. He has been heartbroken (she is doing better though) and it breaks my heart too. Sigh.

Pt 2 momentarily

[Darn210]

Jess, I just noticed yer avatar! You have yer glitter on

Wow, beautifully done eyes. You do a cult member proud

You mean eye, right??? Singular!! She's only got a pic of one eye!!! There's no tellin' what the other eye looks like . . . could be "smokey", or goth, or perhaps she's sportin' a patch and practicin' for Pirate Day, right matey Jess??

[Mtndog]

Pt 2

Oh Emmy, honey, if love could only make our wishes happen. Your dad's body is only here to hold his gift to the world. It's only the wrapping paper that's getting tattered; the amazing being that is your father is still, and will always, be here. Not only has he given joy and laughter to untold numbers of his fans, he's given us you. And you have given us Jack. The world is a better place because of him.

And you.

See- Jess- :wub:

COURSE IT'S NOT TO SAY THAT BUBBA MIGHT BE OF NEED OF THE SERVICES THEY PROVIDE.................

ENJOY YOUR BOOZE DON'T CHA BEVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

JUDY

TEE HEE- apparently someone posted info (spam-a-lot) on a rehab center near where we stayed in Maine. y'all know I've been such a partier lately!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very well said! I was attempting to come out of hiding when I happened upon (okay . . . willing looked against my better judgment) the thread which I believe caused your page stretching scream and I think I am outta here again. What's the point of contending with people who believe they are so smart that they somehow understand how a DEAD virus could make them sick. Somebody get these people a scholarship to MIT. I'm sure the experts in virology could use some help in coming up with an HIV vaccine. Oh that's right . . . vaccines are much more dangerous than any of the illnesses they protect against . . . how could I forget.

YES- WE Need to know what this is all about (although I have my suspicions <_< )

SUZEEEE- I hope you're feeling better. COLD TURKEY??????? PLEASE be careful- Wellb. is not a cold turkey drug- uhm.....scared cuz cold turkey Wellb. can result in seizures. Really. :(

Won't be long and the leaves will be changing colors and phallen!

I thought you siad the leaves were going to be PHALLIC

Sillies, having a problem with the air conditioner/furnace thing, water is coming out of it I know nothing of these things )....basically it means no usage of the air conditioner until they come out to fix it tomorrow. And it's bloody hot!!

I blame Tom for the excess phluid, look at his post count

Uh-oh Ptaum!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR THE (non-burning California) HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!

:( Am now crying..........heard from Lyme doc.....might have to get another PICC.

[Green12]

It does??

No, twas pure sarcasm.

I often have the very boring plain bland meal of filet of sole meself......big snooze.

Thanks for the invite Nikki, might have to take you up on it. Then I could go to fabulous places such as bonnie Scotland and Turkey!!!! And Tesco!

[blueeyedmanda]

:( Am now crying..........heard from Lyme doc.....might have to get another PICC.

Oh Bev sorry to hear this....((((((HUGS))))))

I am glad my little one liners make you guys laugh....thats what I can be known for in Sillyville that and my clumsy stories

[jerseyangel]

:( Am now crying..........heard from Lyme doc.....might have to get another PICC.

Oh no Bev

Hope you don't have to go throught all that again. He said "might", so hopefully it won't come to that. We'll think positive

[Jestgar]

You mean eye, right??? Singular!! She's only got a pic of one eye!!! There's no tellin' what the other eye looks like . . . could be "smokey", or goth, or perhaps she's sportin' a patch and practicin' for Pirate Day, right matey Jess??

Brilliant idea. Tomorrow - two different eyes. We'll see if anyone notices.

Bev, for Criminey's sake. Stop all this silly insertion-of-plastics-into-body stuff and get better already.

Unless your doing something like this:

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

Unless your doing something like this:

Open Original Shared Link

At first I didn't know what I was looking at

[Mtndog]

Brilliant idea. Tomorrow - two different eyes. We'll see if anyone notices.

Bev, for Criminey's sake. Stop all this silly insertion-of-plastics-into-body stuff and get better already.

Unless your doing something like this:

Open Original Shared Link

:lol:

Actually I do somewhat look like that (when I go to maine )

[DingoGirl]

jess - love yer one-eyed glitter

Parents growing old.......oh god...my mom is 70, but does not have great health (breast cancer twice - first at age 32, w/ 16 lymph nodes removed......second at 40), thyroid cancer, diabetic (celiac in denial), three heart attacks and now a pacemaker (the medieval radiation in the sixties killed part of her lower heart tissue).... I REALLY need my mom to stick around for a while! (oh, Dad died of colon cancer at 56 - CELIAC ALSO)

Julie - oh dear! it's pure panic here if air conditioner goes out.....but what is phunny is that, the second I read of fluids coming out of it, I immediately looked at yer post count

Nik - transfats........ *sigh* They'll be a thing of the past in California restaurants soon... I think? Anywho, I"ll be over w/ Julie and Pat also......bloody hot here......

Bev - PICC line? let's hope this is NOT true.

BUT OMG - you're right - - I felt soooooooo sick yesterday - actually did read about seizure possibility and took half a pill in early evening......slightly better today. Felt like my brain was exploding yesterday, was short of breath, kept blacking out when standing up......

am I EVER going to be normal? Do I even HAVE any neurotransmitters left at all? I seriously doubt it......and, can you run out of endorphins entirely? because I think I have......

[Mtndog]

OK- you guys will get a GOOD LAUGH out of this:

Hear I am half crying/half laughing (thanks to Jess) and I go to let Angus in. He is CLEARLY occupied playing with some poor animal (I'm thinking bee and don't want him to get stung).

So I call him, he won't come. I go out barefoot cause I'm waiting for the yelp and as I get closer I realize it's something bigger (no- not the Montauk Monster).

Start walking faster (BAREFOOT) and SQUISH. Dog poop. And he's playing with this poor, defenseless, no-eyed baby mole so do I grab him and go in? NOOOO. Must save the mole first (GEEZUS- I must be a farking Buddhist).

Just finished wiping, washing and sanitizing the feet. Mole in better shape than me :lol: :lol:

[Mtndog]

Uncle Ray is in da house!!!!!

Thoughts on Retirement:

I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'

I say, 'Well, I don't have much of a chemical background but one of the things I enjoy the most is turning wine into urine!'

Uncle Ray's Home Remedies:

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

[blueeyedmanda]

OMG I am not sure which I like better # 4 or #5!!!

[curlyfries]

Unless your doing something like this:

Open Original Shared Link

I like the name of the site.............very apropo!!!

[nikki-uk]

Ok, any North American pholks fed up wiv yer heat come over at the weekend!!!!

We (except eldest son) shall be in Turkey so plenty of bed room AND you guys can help look after the cats....and Dan.... ......don't worry about Daniel (son)..........................wait ....did I just say Danielson (karatekid)

Anyhoo he's quite house trained and friendly

(Julie!!!...you can come with us to Turkey OR go to Tesco's....tough one )

You mean eye, right??? Singular!! She's only got a pic of one eye!!! There's no tellin' what the other eye looks like . . . could be "smokey", or goth, or perhaps she's sportin' a patch and practicin' for Pirate Day, right matey Jess??

Jess practicin' already????

I MUST plan ahead....have an even better piratey attire!!!!!!!

:lol:

Actually I do somewhat look like that (when I go to maine )

...hence the rehab

OH BEVELLEE ....make the nasty Lymie doc take them words BACK

I know how much you hated the PICC .....evil lyme

Soozle COME to blighty!!!!!...and we shall dine out EVERY night on clot busting, heart attack inducing deep fried trans bloomin' PHATS!!!!!!!

.....but PLEASE take sum o' yer WellyBoot drugs so yer don't have a grandmal seizure on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

Bev's main Maine thread littered with virus's????

I believe we're okay.... .. . for I think it was a dead virus.......

WHO the heck's Brian and why isn't he awake???? ........also what does Mark think of this arrangement??

Oh, man, Amanda! I sure wish WE were sharing a Brian rather than a brain....don't you?

Fish and salad, Nikerler? Sounds fab! Not kippers, as they are only fit for British breakfasts, n'est-ce pas?

...and if I AM to put ON weight everytime I get weighed in at me slimming club I may as well be eating deep - bloody- fried something delicious!!!!!!!!!!

Nikki! How bloody long have you been attending this money pit slimming club? Are there penalty fees if your weight goes up? Do you climb onto the big scales under a spotlight on a big stage in front of everone, your success/failure blaring through a megaphone? Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhh......

I thought you siad the leaves were going to be PHALLIC

OMG......and me wif no umbrella.........

am I EVER going to be normal? Do I even HAVE any neurotransmitters left at all? I seriously doubt it......and, can you run out of endorphins entirely? because I think I have......

Shoozle.

You absolutely need to see the doc about this weaning off Welbutrin. No WONDER you feel like death! Slowly and systematically... .. . .let yer doc help - -that's what they are there for (well......most of 'em, anyway).........

You've got plenty of neurotransmitters snappin' away in there! Too bad we can't get new neurotransmissions installed........

I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'

I say, 'Well, I don't have much of a chemical background but one of the things I enjoy the most is turning wine into urine!'

Excellent, Uncle Ray. Bev, get him on here!

Bev, I'm thinking about you... .. yes, we'll think positively. You're going to keep recovering....no need fer another PICC!!

I am also thinking about you stepping in poop. Only here, I'm laughing......

[Jestgar]

I believe we're okay.... .. . for I think it was a dead virus.......

No, even the dead viruses will infect your threads. You really need to install the HeadInTheSand computer saver to truly protect yourself.