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Sprueberg-- A Gluten Free City

Lisa16

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Lisa16 Collaborator
Lisa16
Posted

So I was thinking that the celiac population in the US is probably in the neighborhood of 2.1 million people-- enough to found a sizeable city. What would a gluten free city look like?

-There would be checkpoints to get in where they would confiscate anything with gluten in it

-Glutino and Knicknick (I can never spell this) would have their headquarters there

-it would have the largest per capita number of public restrooms

-plumbers would be exalted

-gluten-free bakers, chefs and pastry makers would be gods

What else?

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Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted
So I was thinking that the celiac population in the US is probably in the neighborhood of 2.1 million people-- enough to found a sizeable city. What would a gluten free city look like?

-There would be checkpoints to get in where they would confiscate anything with gluten in it

-Glutino and Knicknick (I can never spell this) would have their headquarters there

-it would have the largest per capita number of public restrooms

-plumbers would be exalted

-gluten-free bakers, chefs and pastry makers would be gods

What else?

This reminds me of an utopia community we had here once, a very long time ago. ;) It would be nice, wouldn't it. :)

I think I would like to live several (many) blocks away from the largest per capita number of public restrooms though.

Puddy Explorer
Puddy
Posted

You would be able to walk into any restaurant and never need to ask for a special menu or have prolonged, detailed conversations with the waiters or chefs about the ingredients in your meal!

purple Community Regular
purple
Posted

I would say a huge toilet paper factory.

Places for naps.

Lotsa pizza restaurants indeed!

Free cookie samples for all.

In home chefs/maids on demand for those difficult days.

:rolleyes:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

And gluten free pizza parlors on EVERY corner where you could just grab a slice!

And gluten-free bagelries!

Doctors who know what they're doing..........

:):rolleyes:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

yes.......and gooey, gluten-free Krispy Kreme doughnuts, french bread, croissants, hamburgers and fries in DRIVE-THRUS........

:( *sniff*

really brings a tear, doesn't it :lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

And PSA's on the local station whenever a resident figures how to make something new gluten free!

And the Tinkyada plant.

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mommida Enthusiast
mommida
Posted

Jeans with smaller but cheek space!

psawyer Proficient
psawyer
Posted
-Glutino and Knicknick (I can never spell this) would have their headquarters there

Hmm. Sprueberg must be in Canada, eh?

Both Glutino and Kinnikinnick are Canadian. Glutino is in suburban Montreal, Quebec, and Kinnikinnick is in Edmonton, Alberta.

Lisa16 Collaborator
Lisa16
Posted
  • Author

Aw heck-- let's put it right on the border! One half can be in the US and there will be a sister city in Canada. Let's call it Celiacville (it has a French touch, non?) And there will be no check points between them! Both currencies too.

But then it is a much larger metropolis to accomodate the Canadian celiacs too. Something in the neighborhood of 4 million, eh?

And because of its unique international nature, it is constantly under threat of terrorist attacks from flour clouds and wheat germ oil spills. But that's okay. We have a superhero!

Enteroman!

purple Community Regular
purple
Posted

Enteroman...hahahahahaha :lol::lol::lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I love this place already!! :D

I'll especially enjoy the cc-less restaurants :rolleyes:

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

And there will NEVER be a diagnosis of irritable bowel syndrome or fibromyalgia.

And there will be a phyllo pastry factory.

kenlove Rising Star
kenlove
Posted

Of Course we need a culinary school to take the message out to restaurants around the world. ( No I don;t want to be dean!) :lol:

Aw heck-- let's put it right on the border! One half can be in the US and there will be a sister city in Canada. Let's call it Celiacville (it has a French touch, non?) And there will be no check points between them! Both currencies too.

But then it is a much larger metropolis to accomodate the Canadian celiacs too. Something in the neighborhood of 4 million, eh?

And because of its unique international nature, it is constantly under threat of terrorist attacks from flour clouds and wheat germ oil spills. But that's okay. We have a superhero!

Enteroman!

RiceGuy Collaborator
RiceGuy
Posted
Jeans with smaller but cheek space!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yes, adult lengths without the thunder-thighs.

Malls without intoxicating perfume clouds.

Vendors with large, soft, chewy gluten-free pretzels.

All buildings are constructed only with gluten-free materials.

Lisa16 Collaborator
Lisa16
Posted
  • Author

And the tallest building would be IGA tower!

SGWhiskers Collaborator
SGWhiskers
Posted

Hey, some of us still need jeans with butts in them. I don't want to drive 45 minutes to glutenville to try on jeans. Talk about a day from...

All employers within the metropolis would be gluten free. No more hospitals with wheaty lunch trays to work around. If we are building a 4 million metropolis, we have room for farms, grainerys, and machinery that are dedicated gluten-free.

Can I propose we purchase an island and a weekly charter plane for vacationing worry free. I live on the US/Canadian border and it's pretty cold much of the year.

Also the fast food joints could be named by the allergen they are dedicated to avoiding. I'd be a regular at Ya-hoo! No-Moo! IceCream.

Lisa16 Collaborator
Lisa16
Posted
  • Author

Yeah-- I have a bit of a hiney myself and I hate to go shopping in Gluntenville!

I LOVE the island idea! We could call it Tropical Sprueville and it would have divine spa services!

And there would always be a coupon in the gluten-free Gazatte!

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
Yeah-- I have a bit of a hiney myself and I hate to go shopping in Gluntenville!

I LOVE the island idea! We could call it Tropical Sprueville and it would have divine spa services!

And there would always be a coupon in the gluten-free Gazatte!

Hey, I've got enough hiney to shop in ethnic stores instead of skinny white girl stores. So we'll need a broad spectrum of clothing, I suppose....

There would be a gluten-free version of Mrs Fields in the malls so we could have freshbaked soft cookies.

Bars would all have gluten-free beers and wine, lots of wine. And gluten-free french fries and chicken tenders and club sandwiches.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

And everything would be "normal" priced. :lol:

mimommy Contributor
mimommy
Posted

"Tropical Sprueville"--hee, hee, hee!! That is precious!

On the beaches, bloated bellies and not so perfect skin would be the norm--no air brushed bods here, I tell you. And in the dance clubs instead of the Hustle or the Bump the favorite dances would be the "shuffle" and the "limp" (for all those achy joints). The state motto would be "Let them eat..Rice!" A soldier would still be called a GI, but with a whole new level of meaning and a sworn oath to protect the people from the unholy grain. ( They won at Glutanomo Bay, remember.) The museum would be full of priceless art, and we would finally know the secret behind Mona Lisa's smile (she passed gas and blamed it on the dog, of course.) Our national anthem would go something like..."For the land of the gluten free, and the home of DH".

cruelshoes Enthusiast
cruelshoes
Posted

When people want to order food at a restaurant with gluten in it, they have to order off a special menu. And no matter how many questions they ask, they are never really sure if their meal will have gluten in it. Muwahahahahaha!!!!!

ang1e0251 Contributor
ang1e0251
Posted

I kinda think with all the cookies and pizza we will all need hiney jeans!!

All guests will have to go through a comtamination process. Their gluten food will be confiscated and they will be forced to eat gluten-free for their entire stay! Really cuts down on in-law visits!

Students will come from all over the world to attend our D-Free University. The cafeteria will never contaminate anyone and will have the world renowned Chef Dulce baking all their desserts.

Lisa16 Collaborator
Lisa16
Posted
  • Author

Oh! The university will be called GFU and it will specialize in food science, medicine, culinary arts and history (because you have to have histopry or its not a university!) And it will be staffed entirely by celiacs-- lord knows there are enough of us here to do it!

What mascot will we have?

And what will the theme music be?

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
What mascot will we have?

Oh! I can picture this SO clearly -- our mascot will be a guy in a pink duodenum suit.

Danny Duodenum. :lol:

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