I Need Someone

[Lister]

yeah, i was gonna do the ged first and then get a certification to become a radioligy technition its only a 16 moth course for a job that starts around 35k a year

[CarlaB]

  Lister said:

yeah, i was gonna do the ged first and then get a certification to become a radioligy technition its only a 16 moth course for a job that starts around 35k a year

Sounds like a good plan to me. You can do it ... you are smarter and more together than you give yourself credit for.

[aikiducky]

I just wanted to add... don't scare yourself in advance! You're not homeless yet are you? So don't go on worrying and worrying about it, instead go and look into the public housing thing... or is it possible to find new room mates? You never know, you might find a new place before your room mates even move, and then all the worrying will be for nothing.

I'm a bit of a worrier myself, I know what it's like. Like I know my house is probably going to be torn down in five years or so, which it's kinda pointless to worry about, I mean am I going to worry for the next five years? So when I start to think about it, I tell myself strictly to STOP, I do have a nice house AT THE MOMENT and when the time comes, I'll deal with it then.

It's like a habit, just like smoking, you know, when your friend offered you some you just said no. So when you have a "down" thought you just have to say no to it, and try to think about a way to turn it around into a positive one. Even a fake silly positive one.

Seriously, it's something you can actually practice like any skill that you practice, just like you'd practice a new trick on the skateboard or something. So you just think about something positive, anything even little things, as often as you can, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.

And of course you can turn the spell around that you put on yourself. You're the one who has the power to do that.

You could practice on here if you like. Like post something nice that has happened or that you saw or smelled or heard, next time that you post. You don't have to, it's just a suggestion.

Pauliina

[tiredofdoctors]

Pauliina, that is GREAT advice. You are so insightful!

sickofit, I agree with what everyone here is saying. Don't try to take on all of these problems in one big heap. What's the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. The first thing is to make sure that you DON'T become homeless. Find out about Section 8 housing. Find out about resources that are available within your community. We have an enormous amount of places that will give money -- without expectation of return -- to people who are in just your position. I would also be sure that you have health insurance. You are probably available for some type of assistance --you may be able to receive supplemental income until you are able to get back on your feet.

I would look into community-based therapy. Often, it is free. Particularly since you are a product of the foster-care system. Someone who is as "down" as you are right now needs a professional who can help you wade through that "pea soup" feeling and help make a plan using resources within your community. They will know the resources which are available and will help you develop a plan to get you OUT of this rut, and KEEP you out of it later. If you are not hooked up with someone that does that, ASK FOR ANOTHER. You deserve to have the very best person working with you.

Please take the advice of the people who have responded. I don't know of a more caring, understanding and innovative group of people that I have ever met. They are wonderful. They have gotten me through some of my darkest times. That is the absolute truth. These are people who will tell you the truth when you don't want to hear it. That makes them the people who care about you. And who could ask for more than that?????

xoxoxoxoxo

Lynne

[Phyllis28]

Keep working toward your goals. Another housing option is to rent a room in someone's home.

[jkmunchkin]

  Lister said:

i just switched fast foods, now i work at a arbys but its alot better then the last place i worked. the enviorment is alot less hostile, and the managment is alot nicer. plus its alot less bread. i think alot of my stomich problems where stress related because it has not been giving me near as much problems now that i switched. The pay is acually less since now im back down to minimum wage and unfortunatly they are overstaffed at the moment so im only working like 12-15 hrs a week so i dont even know if im gonna be able to make bills. Having problems coping with life without my old friend mr.greenbud. I had to quit for my job. They sent me up to do some stuff to get promoted and part of it was a piss test, i had to call my manager and tell him it would be dirty. So he talked to the district manager and called me back. They are willing to give me a second chance, i have 30 days to get clean and stay clean if i want to be a manager, he says if i want to keep smoking then i can but i will stay as a crew member, and i want to be a manager a. for more hours b. because it usualy meens a lil better pay so i had to stop, been 3 days so far of sobriety and its starting to have a effect on me. I know i sound rediculuse, expecialy since they say pot is non adictive, but in my personel opinion it is, i am dependent on it i used to smoke every day atleast 5 times a day i was never not stoned. even if i did not have money for food i always found money for bud. and now all of a suden i dont smoke anymore. its crazy its wierd. i cant say i feel strait though, its been 3 days and my head is still feeling foggy, dont know how many days it may take to get back all the brain cells that i have damaged over the years. All i know is im uber depressed because of it, i cant stop thinking about bud... i try to watch tv and i find my mind drifting back to bud i try to play games but i get to bored and start thinking about bud. but im doing good, my roommate has some and he was smoking it near me, he even offerd it to me and i did something i have never done before, i acually said no, and did not take a hit, im acually doing it, im acually quiting. but im finding myself really depressed, i dont have many friends that are real, most of them just use me, or constantly flake on me, i only have one real good friend but she moved out of town on me, so i find myself day in and day out by myself just sitting in my room all alone i used to not mind because i was always stoned, but now that im not i realise just how much my life acually sucks.. Im sure its for the better but man im depressed for now. my cat is doing good, his name is Ki monster. i updated my avatar with a new pic of him asleep on my leg, also for any of u who were asking a while ago for a real pic of me its on my personel page.

I actually had a friend that was (or maybe still is) exactly like you as far as the smoking and depression. I was always trying to help her get clean, but I don't know if she ever really truly had the desire or motivation to, like it seems you do. I always made it a point to be there for her to have someone to talk to; but unfortunately she decided to disappear from everyone. I've made many attempts to get in touch with her (just tried again a few weeks ago), but I never get a response back.

That said, I guess I'm just trying to say I know a bit about what you're going through because I watched a good friend go through it as well.

The best advice I can give is to hang in there. When you are tempted remember why you quit in the first place. Remind yourself that you are trying to make a better life for yourself. And as hard as it can be, there will come a point where the struggle you are going through right now will be worth it. You are stronger than the drug; not the other way around.

That's awesome that you were able to refuse your roomate's offer the other day. You should be extremely proud of yourself. I was proud of you, reading that.

I think getting certified to become a radiology technician is an awesome idea. Not only would it ensure good job stability, but you would be helping people as well.

You're doing a great job at making a positive change in your life. Keep it up!

[tiredofdoctors]

  tiredofdoctors!!! said:

I'm curious . . . how old are you? You DEFINITELY gather a different perspective the older you get. TRUST ME!! I've been in some pretty low times in my life -- have even been hospitalized because I just didn't want to stick around here. What I've found, though, is that a lot of the people who are touting positive attracts positive, etc., are right. And until you can't truly become positive, it's on the "fake it 'til you make it" level. Sounds cheesy, and probably where you are right now, trite, but I've come to find that it works for me.

Right now, I'm scared as Hell that I'm going to have to have brain surgery. I already have quite a bit of cerebellar damage because of Neurological Celiac. So, I don't have a lot of brain to lose!!! And there you have it -- without thinking, I immediately result to humor, because that's how I cope. And so, I tend to bring into my life the funniest, happiest people that I know. Friends who are wild, crazy funny. People who are so uplifting. We absolutely have relationships that we keep each other going -- sometimes through some of the most awful things.

Do I sound like a Pollyanna? You bet. I sound like someone who is so "PERKY"!! Trust me, I don't do perky -- ask any one on this board. They would be more than happy to tell you that I'm not the perky type. Smart-aleck, not afraid to get in trouble (well, sort of afraid to get in trouble -- but I still do), but anything but perky. Just relying on my friends to have some fun in the face of some really bad stuff.

I'm not guaranteeing that it works for everyone. Just saying it works for me.

Take care of you, and if you need a sarcastically funny spin on the things that are happening, PM me, okay? I'll do my best.

Lynne

Okay, who put the Puke-y icon on my original message? 'Fess up.

[Lister]

i start my GED prep course june 25th wish me luck. and once i have that, i have been talking to my dad about getting me a job as a freight worker at are local winco grocery store

[pedro]

Hi Lister. This is excellent news. I am sure you will do great things, and most important you will accomplish everything you set your heart to. One step at a time.

Anytime you want to talk please feel free to come in.

Best regards and take care.

[Lisa]

Great News Lister!!! Hey, if you need some tutors, you've got over 14,517 right here

[jerseyangel]

  Lister said:

i start my GED prep course june 25th wish me luck. and once i have that, i have been talking to my dad about getting me a job as a freight worker at are local winco grocery store

That's great news, Lister! Lisa's right--you need any help, just ask

[ravenwoodglass]

Fantastic news!!!!! I am so glad you are doing this. That is really a wonderful first step. Let us know how classes go.

[CarlaB]

Congratulations, Lister! You are definately taking charge of your future!

[Lister]

can blackbeans get contaminated? did not wanna open a new thread? all i ate yesterday was my normal gluten-free foods and then i made blackbean and rice borritos using mission yellow corn tortias, blackbeans from a can (i checked ingrediants only salt onion powder and blackbeans) and minute rice... and today my stomich was hurting so bad, like really really bad, i took some milk of magnesia and my stomich pains went away after about a hour but i should not have to resort to meds to remove my pain constantly

[CarlaB]

Beans bother me sometimes and sometimes they don't ... when they're a major part of a meal, there is a bigger chance of them bothering me than if they're a side dish. I don't think it's the gluten ... seems okay to me.

[Lister]

how much magensium would you have to take to overdose? because i took the recommend dosage at 9am its 7pm and i still have not used the rr, so i was thinking about taking another dosage, not sure why but for the past like 2 weeks it seems like my colon has stoped working or something

[aikiducky]

The bottle I have here at home recommends 300mg in a day, how much did you already take?

Hey that's great news about the GED course! If for any reason you need help with Finnish or Dutch, you know who to PM! (sorry I'm feeling a bit silly today:)).

How's the housing situation going?

Pauliina

[Lister]

my bottle is 500mg per tablespoon, and it says to take 2-4 tablespoons in a day so i took 1000mg so far, its a new day but i was thinking about taking it again, i finally went but the more i go the better i feel in the long run, thinking about maybe even just flushing out my system with one of those lovely bottles( not lovely) but i never felt heatlhyer after i had one a few months ago. I dont know why my body does this, it seems the only health problem i have now after been gluten-free for a year is constipation issuses other then that im alot more healthy, my acne has cleared up alot, its still there but its way better then it was, my skin has alot more color to it, my weight has stabalized, i still wake up incredibly thin everymorning but i usualy start to fill out some after breakfast( for some reason in my sleep my matabalisim gets way way way to high)

[aikiducky]

Well if it says you can take four tablespoons a day then you'd be all right taking another two, right?

Although I guess by now it's another day, sorry I had to go and then hubby took over the computer...

Do you eat a lot of fruit and vegetables, or are those hard for your stomach? Because that can be a simple reason for being constipated, if you eat a lot of rice for instance and not a lot of veg. I don't mean that the rice is bad but just if it's too much of one thing.

Anyway, it's great that you're feeling better in general, my face got much better on the gluten free diet as well.

It's normal to weigh less in the morning and more in the evening, if it stays generally the same it's ok. I keep track of my weight because I don't want to gain any, and I always have to either compare my morning weight over several days or evening weight. I prefer the morning ones.

Pauliina

[aikiducky]

Oh yeah I forgot, the magnesium supplement I have at home is I think meant for when you take it for a longer period, so that's probably why the dosage is lower, it's maybe not a good idea to take up to 2000mg a day for a longer period? My hubby usually takes the 300mg every day, it helps him not get too stressed. It's magnesium citrate.

I'm not really an expert on this so check with someone else ok?

Pauliina

[annaleeb]

  Lister said:

if any of you know me, or feel like you kind of know me and dont mind a winer i need someone to talk to, just in general. I have lost everyone in my life that i can conside in and im all alone and its starting to eat me up inside. I have been really hurt lately by alot of people i considerd close to me and im feeling all alone. I try to talk to my "guy" friends but you know how that goes.. if anyone has the time or acually "cares" my msn is s0l3d@hotmail.com

Hi Lister, I am just finding this post. I am going to e-mail you OK. I am also in need of a good friend to talk to, and I am also a good listener. I am so sorry you are going through so much right now, I also have alot on my plate as well. I am sure we will have much to share with each other. Look for my e-mail, it will have my name Annalee in the address.

[Sweetfudge]

  sickofit said:

I'm new to the board so I don't know you but I started crying when I read your message about being alone as I feel secluded and alone too. Then I read your second post and really can relate as I am giving up Mr. Greenbud right now too! I have used it for years and years to sleep as celiac seems to give you insomnia. I felt I was addicted too, but I believe the addiction is the habit, not the weed. I am having some withdrawals, sweats, which I think is getting it out of my system, but most of it is finding something else to do. It was the same way when I quit smoking cigarettes, but I did it so I know I can do this. On the sights about quitting cigs they say you have to replace the habit with something else. I'm sure it is the same with this, we have to find things to keep us busy so we don't think about it and don't get bored. I am 60, female, have probably smoked pot off and on for over 40 years, and don't have a job right now as I can't stay well for more than a few days at a time. You need a second job, an outdoor hobby or to volunteer your time somewhere. You sound like a truly good person and you need to be around more people. I know people your age that have 2 or 3 fast food jobs so they can get enuf hours to live. I think it is great that you are working toward your future and trying to do this so you can become a manager and it is wonderful that your manager is giving you a chance. You need to get out of the house and stop isolating yourself. Those old friends are over and done with, move on. You will meet new and better friends. The older ones on this board will tell you that when you get fired, dumped on, thrown out of your home, whatever, you look back and realize it was for the best, as long as you pull yourself out of the muck of self-pity. And talking helps, so bless this board! I've been reading alot lately about positive vs. negative energy and The Law of Attraction because of that bestseller book The Secret. I have gotten very negative and sad and of course depressed with being sick and lonely all the time, and of course, when we are stoned, none of that mattered, but when we are not, it does. The Law of Attraction says you attract the vibes you give off. The Secret is a little too extreme for me, it says whatever you tell yourself will happen to you will. If you believe you will get rich, you will, etc. On Oprah's website there is a lot more about it as she believes in it and had all the experts on her show that teach it. But I'd like to quote a little from a different book called Postive Energy=Positive Life by Judith Orloff, MD. "A basic dynamic of energy is that we attract who we are-the more positive energy we give off the more we magnetize to us. Ditto for negativity. Love attracts love. Grumpiness attracts grumpiness. Rage attracts rage. The explanation? This human form of ours is a subtle energy transmitter. We constantly send out signals that others pick up on. This is why opportunities do or do not show up in our lives." She then goes on to explain how to improve our positve energy level. One simple thing that has helped me is to try to just smile more, whether you feel like it or not. She says our brain does not know the difference between a fake smile and a real one and smiling changes our brain waves and makes us feel happier. Also, smiling and feeling love in your heart when you speak to people, especially if they are rude or indifferent. It shocks them and can change their attitude! The kinder we are to ourselves and others the more love we communicate. She says we have to do emotional housecleaning, that healing negativity prevents toxic build-up in our energy field. We need to identify our best parts (we all have them) and speak from them. Before we meet new people or attend an event have an inner pep talk. Say, "I am going to focus on my strengths and feel and trust the positive energy inside of me", and that journaling, talking with friends, meditating and introspection all further the healing process. As negativity leaves us our energy becomes more alluring and starts drawing positive people to us. I hope some of this helps you, it is helping me. I have never meditated, got stoned instead, but that is one thing I can replace it with. I hope you try some of this and let us know how you are doing.

you have it so right! i've been reading "your best life now" by joel osteen. not even planning on looking to bring God back in my life, but i did. i feel like i need to be a positive person in order to have a positive life. my marriage sucks right now, but i keep telling myself every day that things are getting better, that i'm getting better. and i'm starting to feel that. most of the time anyway...

  Lister said:

can blackbeans get contaminated? did not wanna open a new thread? all i ate yesterday was my normal gluten-free foods and then i made blackbean and rice borritos using mission yellow corn tortias, blackbeans from a can (i checked ingrediants only salt onion powder and blackbeans) and minute rice... and today my stomich was hurting so bad, like really really bad, i took some milk of magnesia and my stomich pains went away after about a hour but i should not have to resort to meds to remove my pain constantly

i know that walmart's brand doesn't list any gluten ingredients, but it does say made in a facility that handles wheat. don't know which brand you used, but maybe they're the same. i always rinse my black beans very well before eating them. mostly thought, i've cut beans out because they make my stomach hurt. not as bad as glutening, but still very uncomfortable. or if i do eat beans, i try and eat refried, since they're mushed up and that makes them easier to digest.

i am totally excited for you that opportunities are opening up for you! grab hold of them, and hang on! this could be the chance to take you to the top!! your cat is way cute by the way have a great day!!!

[Lister]

hehe, i started my own busness and its acually paying hehe. it costs me absolutly nothing to do and i make 25 dollers per client and its only 5 minutes of work

I mod peoples PSP's(portable sony playstion) so that it can play emulated games such as snes,genisis,nes and arcade games as well as play backups of psp games so they dont have to pay 50 dollers per game anymore, I posted a add in craigslist about my service and got over 12 hits in one day aka 300 dollers in one day for less then a hour worth of work

oh i found a fairly easy laxitive hehe, arbys roastbeef, its tasty and definatly gets the job done lol

[ravenwoodglass]

  Lister said:

oh i found a fairly easy laxitive hehe, arbys roastbeef, its tasty and definatly gets the job done lol

Are you off the gluten-free diet? I am assuming you must be if you are eating this stuff.

Glad the comp thing is going well, you may even get buzy enough to quit your 'day' job eventually. I am glad things are going better.

[Lister]

arbys roast beef is gluten-free, i meen yes i could go back to eating gluten or atleast that is what i was told from both my gastroentorolgist and my regulaor doc but i dont wanna risk it so i stay gluten-free, arbys's roast beef and most of there sauces are gluten-free, and since i work there, there is no chance of cc